Frustrations of different parental styles

I’m having a baby girl (our first baby), due [name_u]December[/name_u] 11. My wife and I were 100% on a boy name ([name_u]Luca[/name_u] [name_m]John[/name_m], with the nickname [name_u]Lucky[/name_u]) but we can’t agree on a name for a girl. I would like to play off the boy name we chose and name her [name_f]Lucy[/name_f] [name_f]Jane[/name_f], but she wants to reserve [name_u]Luca[/name_u] [name_m]John[/name_m]/ [name_u]Lucky[/name_u] for a possible future son. She shoots down every first name I come up with. These include [name_f]Lorna[/name_f], [name_f]Margot[/name_f], and [name_f]Dorothy[/name_f]. She has suggested a few that I hate, including [name_f]Megan[/name_f], [name_f]Layla[/name_f], and [name_u]Tegan[/name_u]. She says mine sound like old ladies, and I say that hers sound like eternal teenagers.

Our hyphenated last name sounds like R o z e b r o - T a l l i e. Things that are out because of our last name include any [name_f]Rose[/name_f] names and -ly names like [name_f]Molly[/name_f] and [name_f]Carly[/name_f]. I like classic names but my wife likes trendier names. Neither of us likes overly froufrou names ([name_f]Isabella[/name_f], [name_f]Gabriella[/name_f], etc). Neither of us has a real dedication to our ethnic background, but if it triggers any ideas, she’s African-American via [name_f]Louisiana[/name_f] and [name_u]Memphis[/name_u], and I’m a 3rd-gen white American from Russian-Jewish stock. Also, the sperm donor is biracial, 25% African-American and 75% Ashkenazi Jewish (as far as he knows).

It seems like we’re never going to find THE NAME and I’m really frustrated. Help! All advice appreciated and welcomed.


Hmm… Here are some names that I think could sort of bridge your styles: [name_f]Nova[/name_f], [name_f]Daisy[/name_f], [name_u]Eloise[/name_u], [name_f]Poppy[/name_f], [name_f]Sylvie[/name_f], [name_f]Sadie[/name_f], [name_f]Juno[/name_f], [name_f]Julia[/name_f], [name_f]Juliet[/name_f], [name_f]Clara[/name_f], [name_f]Cora[/name_f], [name_f]Violet[/name_f], [name_u]Harper[/name_u], [name_u]Juniper[/name_u], [name_f]Maeve[/name_f], [name_f]Lila[/name_f], [name_u]Ruby[/name_u], [name_f]Eliza[/name_f], [name_f]Willow[/name_f], [name_f]Gemma[/name_f], [name_u]Vivian[/name_u]/[name_f]Vivienne[/name_f], [name_f]Luna[/name_f], [name_f]Genevieve[/name_f], [name_f]Emilia[/name_f], [name_f]Nora[/name_f]/[name_f]Norah[/name_f], [name_f]Madeline[/name_f] nn [name_f]Maddie[/name_f], [name_f]Viola[/name_f], [name_f]Jade[/name_f], [name_u]June[/name_u], [name_f]Ava[/name_f], [name_f]Isabel[/name_f], [name_f]Nina[/name_f] and [name_f]Maya[/name_f].

Thanks, I really like [name_f]Daisy[/name_f], [name_f]Sylvie[/name_f], [name_u]Juniper[/name_u], [name_f]Lila[/name_f], and [name_f]Genevieve[/name_f] (although [name_u]Juniper[/name_u] and [name_f]Genevieve[/name_f] might be too long with a 5-syllable last name – what do you all think?). Can’t use [name_f]Nina[/name_f] because my name is [name_f]Janina[/name_f] and [name_f]Nina[/name_f] is my nickname. I also forgot to mention that my wife’s name is [name_f]Karyn[/name_f].

I can totally understand wanting to save [name_u]Luca[/name_u] [name_m]John[/name_m] for a son, it is so handsome!

I think a good direction to go in is a more “formal” sounding first name with a fun nickname ala [name_u]Lucky[/name_u].

[name_f]Penelope[/name_f] ([name_u]Penny[/name_u], [name_u]Nelly[/name_u], [name_f]Lola[/name_f])
[name_f]Eleanor[/name_f]/[name_f]Eleanora[/name_f] ([name_f]Ella[/name_f], [name_f]Ellie[/name_f], [name_f]Nora[/name_f], [name_f]Lena[/name_f])
[name_f]Elizabeth[/name_f] (there are SO many nns for this, but in particular I find [name_f]Buffy[/name_f], [name_f]Betsy[/name_f], [name_f]Libby[/name_f], [name_f]Liza[/name_f] to be less used and more “fun”)
[name_f]Lorraine[/name_f] (nn [name_f]Lora[/name_f], [name_f]Raine[/name_f], [name_f]Rainey[/name_f], [name_u]Rae[/name_u])
[name_f]Marlaina[/name_f] ([name_f]Mari[/name_f], [name_u]Marley[/name_u], [name_f]Lainey[/name_f], [name_u]Laine[/name_u])
[name_f]Margaret[/name_f] (again, tons of nns including [name_f]Margo[/name_f], but also [name_f]Midge[/name_f], [name_f]Madge[/name_f], [name_f]Mae[/name_f])
[name_f]Katherine[/name_f] (nicknames, tons, including [name_u]Kit[/name_u], [name_f]Kitty[/name_f], [name_f]Kat[/name_f], [name_f]Kiki[/name_f], [name_f]Katia[/name_f], [name_f]Kate[/name_f])
[name_f]Josephine[/name_f] ([name_u]Jojo[/name_u], [name_u]Josie[/name_u], [name_f]Fia[/name_f], [name_f]Posie[/name_f], Seph)
[name_f]Veronica[/name_f] ([name_u]Ronnie[/name_u], [name_f]Vera[/name_f], [name_u]Nico[/name_u], [name_f]Nicki[/name_f])
[name_f]Savannah[/name_f] (Savvy, [name_f]Vanna[/name_f], [name_f]Anna[/name_f])
[name_f]Francesca[/name_f] ([name_f]Francie[/name_f], [name_f]Franny[/name_f], [name_u]Frankie[/name_u]
[name_u]Juniper[/name_u] ([name_f]Juni[/name_f], [name_f]Juno[/name_f])


OMG, [name_f]Posie[/name_f], I really like that nickname, or [name_f]Posey[/name_f]. Maybe the latter for [name_u]Parker[/name_u] [name_f]Posey[/name_f], a favorite of ours.
What else could [name_f]Posey[/name_f] be short for? [name_f]Josephine[/name_f] is a little fraught for us because [name_m]Joe[/name_m] is the grandfather who disowned my wife.

Then again, is [name_f]Posey[/name_f] weird with our surname, doubling the “oze” sound?


Ooh, yes, I can understand shying away from [name_f]Josephine[/name_f] then. The only ones off the top of my head that could also have [name_f]Posey[/name_f] as a nn are [name_f]Apollonia[/name_f] (with the “po” in the middle) or [name_f]Zipporah[/name_f]/[name_f]Tziporah[/name_f].

As for the repeating sound with your surname, I don’t think it sounds weird! It’s only a nickname, after all. That’s the beauty of a “formal” name. Her friends might call her Posey R o z e b r o, but on paper Zipporah R o z e b r o definitely works.

I really like [name_f]Dorothy[/name_f]. Too bad your wife doesn’t like it… we also have issues finding “The Name”. But at least we both like slightly fussy names ending in a (but with my wife and I both having different heritages/first languages it’s a bit of a struggle…)

[name_f]Nancy[/name_f], Paige, Brooke, [name_f]Eliza[/name_f], [name_f]Flora[/name_f], [name_f]Carla[/name_f], [name_f]Laila[/name_f], [name_f]Louise[/name_f], [name_f]Katya[/name_f], [name_f]Mira[/name_f], [name_f]Mila[/name_f], [name_f]Clio[/name_f], [name_f]Siri[/name_f], Cleodie, [name_f]Margaret[/name_f], [name_f]Ziva[/name_f], [name_f]Elodie[/name_f], [name_f]Ariana[/name_f], [name_f]Leonie[/name_f], [name_f]Tessa[/name_f], Ylva, [name_f]Thora[/name_f], [name_f]Nora[/name_f], [name_f]Tuva[/name_f], [name_f]Darya[/name_f], [name_f]Yara[/name_f], [name_f]Cecilia[/name_f], [name_f]Fiona[/name_f], [name_f]Iona[/name_f], [name_f]Viola[/name_f], [name_f]Poppy[/name_f], [name_f]Magnolia[/name_f], [name_f]Saga[/name_f], [name_f]Juliet[/name_f], [name_f]Scarlet[/name_f], [name_f]Camille[/name_f], [name_f]Helena[/name_f], [name_f]Davina[/name_f], [name_f]Rivka[/name_f], [name_f]Greta[/name_f], [name_f]Aviva[/name_f], [name_f]Daphne[/name_f], [name_f]Diana[/name_f], [name_f]Maryse[/name_f], [name_f]Calliope[/name_f], [name_f]Eleanor[/name_f], [name_f]Ivalo[/name_f], [name_f]Claudia[/name_f], [name_f]Victoria[/name_f], [name_f]Lyra[/name_f], [name_f]Lydia[/name_f], [name_f]Anna[/name_f], [name_f]Anita[/name_f], [name_f]Rachel[/name_f], [name_f]Ginny[/name_f], [name_f]Leonie[/name_f]… (sorry, the list is maybe a bit too long and some of those names were probably already mentioned…)

Good luck and congratulations :)!

What about [name_f]Persephone[/name_f] nn [name_f]Posey[/name_f]?

Or [name_f]Paloma[/name_f] nn [name_f]Posey[/name_f]

[name_f]Paige[/name_f] [name_f]Scarlett[/name_f] nn [name_f]Posey[/name_f]

[name_f]Petra[/name_f] [name_u]Parker[/name_u] nn [name_f]Posey[/name_f]

I think any P name will work, really! Or [name_u]PO[/name_u] initials or PS initials. [name_f]Pearl[/name_f] [name_u]Parker[/name_u] nn [name_f]Posey[/name_f]? Or [name_u]Poet[/name_u] [name_m]Parks[/name_m] nn [name_f]Posey[/name_f]? (With a [name_f]Roza[/name_f] last name its kind of a subtle rosa parks nod!) [name_m]Prentiss[/name_m] might be a good compromise with nn [name_f]Posey[/name_f]. Good luck!

[name_f]Calliope[/name_f] would also work for nn [name_f]Posey[/name_f] I think. [name_u]Aspen[/name_u] nn [name_f]Posey[/name_f]?


From the names you listed, [name_f]Margot[/name_f] and [name_f]Megan[/name_f] are both [name_f]Margaret[/name_f] diminutives and you seem to like [name_f]Daisy[/name_f] which is a nickname for [name_f]Margaret[/name_f]. If you can’t find a solution, that would be the name that I’d explore further. So many fun nicknames and options where [name_f]Margaret[/name_f] is concerned.

Would [name_f]Stella[/name_f] be an option? It has a similar meaning but it’s far away from [name_u]Luca[/name_u].

I believe [name_f]Mariposa[/name_f] is the Spanish word for butterfly. It could perhaps be used as a nature name.

Seems like there are a lot of good suggestions… I would lean more towards your style but the best that I can come up with that seem to be a bit in the middle of your criteria…


Good luck!

Lots of great suggestions from everyone. I’m going to make a list of the ones I like and show them to K. this evening after work. I hope this gets us at least on track to make a decision in the next month, or at least narrow it down to 2 or 3 names before she’s born. I’ll come back and let everyone know what we decided.

Thanks everyone!

I am excited to see what you two come up with! Good luck!


It has taken a lot of mulling over for both of us, but we’ve got a list. No shared favorite, surprise surprise, but we could both live with any of these. My favorites are starred, and the others are ones K. is pulling for. Contenders for middle names are [name_u]June[/name_u], [name_f]Kate[/name_f], [name_f]Mei[/name_f], [name_f]May[/name_f], [name_u]Love[/name_u], [name_u]Peace[/name_u], [name_f]Ruth[/name_f], and Siv.

[name_f]Edith[/name_f] (nickname [name_f]Edie[/name_f])*
[name_f]Frances[/name_f] (nickname [name_u]Frankie[/name_u])*
[name_f]Genevieve[/name_f] (nickname [name_f]Jenny[/name_f])*
[name_f]Veronica[/name_f] (nickname [name_u]Nico[/name_u])*

Comments and combinations appreciated!

(PS: She hated [name_f]Posey[/name_f].)

Also wondering whether anyone thinks a baby named [name_f]Patricia[/name_f] stands any chance of being called by her full name. [name_f]Karyn[/name_f] and I both love [name_f]Patricia[/name_f], but the only nickname we like is [name_f]Patti[/name_f], for [name_f]Patti[/name_f] [name_m]Smith[/name_m], and I’m not sure that’s tenable in 2017. Maybe the full name is also too dated? Idk.

For what it’s worth, I know a teenage [name_f]Patricia[/name_f] who goes by the full name. Could you use [name_f]Cia[/name_f], [name_f]Pia[/name_f], or [name_f]Trixie[/name_f]?

Maybe [name_f]Trixie[/name_f] – it seems like a dog’s name to me, probably because it was my aunt’s dog’s name 2 decades ago. But I’ll think about that. Thanks!