[name_f]Share[/name_f] your favorite funny scenes you wrote!
4 Likes
ooh I know just the one 
let me translate it:
He sighed. This wasn’t going anywhere. “I can see that she’s dead! This is not the way a living person moves!”
Serpentina got defensive. “Then do it better yourself. It’s not like I had anyone who taught me how to do it.”
He hadn’t even thought about that, and suddenly almost felt something like sympathy for her. “Fredward is a necromancer. You could ask him to teach you something. But,” he said and pointed his arm at Mrs Fazekas, who’s head was lying on the desk again, “actually my question was less about your skills and more about why the principal is dead!”
“Oh that,” said Serpentina. “I stabbed her.”
13 Likes
Okay, let me paint the scene. The main character is [name_m]Prince[/name_m] [name_u]Dylan[/name_u], who has just joined the [name_u]Royal[/name_u] [name_u]Navy[/name_u]. His rank is Ensign. The captain of the ship is [name_m]Samuel[/name_m] [name_m]Bennett[/name_m], a long time friend of [name_u]Dylan[/name_u]'s mother, the queen. Their ship is sailing along when, suddenly, they are attacked by an angry sea dragon. But this particular dragon happens to be [name_u]Dylan[/name_u]'s former pet, Wyrm.
Here we go:
[name_u]Sam[/name_u]: “You seem personally acquainted with this beast.”
[name_u]Dylan[/name_u]: “Come on, Wyrm,” the prince tutted at the monster, “remember that chat we had, previously, about not harassing any passing ships?”
Wyrm only snorted an even larger puff of hot steam from its nostrils; so far, their fraught situation did not appear promising.
[name_u]Sam[/name_u]: “Does that thing breathe fire?”
[name_u]Dylan[/name_u]: “What a ridiculous question! Of course water dragons don’t breathe fire.”
[name_u]Sam[/name_u]: “Thank [name_f]Fortuna[/name_f]!”
[name_u]Dylan[/name_u]: “Wyrm expels scalding hot jets of water from two tube-like structures lining either side of his throat.”
[name_u]Sam[/name_u]: “[name_m]How[/name_m] comforting. Why can’t I blast this monster into oblivion?”
10 Likes
This isn’t a scene in a story, but it might be one day! (This is a real life occurrence between me and one of my guy friends. Names are changed for privacy.)
[name_m]Daniel[/name_m]: “You don’t like bacon?!”
[name_f]Laura[/name_f]: “Or eggs.”
[name_m]Daniel[/name_m]: “Another reason we can’t get married!”
(We like to joke around/flirt about getting married one day, and about how it would never work out.)
[name_f]Laura[/name_f]: “I could always cook you breakfast, and just eat cereal.”
[name_m]Daniel[/name_m]: “The bigger issue is that you can’t live with my guns, and I can’t live without them.”
[name_f]Laura[/name_f]: “[name_u]True[/name_u]. I’m also not Orthodox.”
insert a thoughtful pause
[name_f]Laura[/name_f]: “But [name_m]Daniel[/name_m], we’re forgetting the biggest reason: we don’t even like each other!”
[name_m]Daniel[/name_m]: “Oh yeah…”
8 Likes
Dialogue is my favorite part of writing so I like creating witty lines and conversations Prepare for a couple posts… I couldn’t choose just one!
(It’s raining in this scene btw)
With my luck, [name_m]Benno[/name_m] was probably in the far south seas, eating hazelnut cakes and drinking spiced wine off the coast of Kiphate. He probably paid for it all with my gold too. When I shared this theory with [name_m]Zac[/name_m], he only shrugged and said that you would never want to drink spiced wine with hazelnut cakes. He didn’t bother trying to reassure the decision to go north.
[…]
“So what do you drink with a hazelnut cake?” I asked, wringing out my hair for the fourteenth time that morning.
“Coffee,” [name_m]Zac[/name_m] replied, “tea, peach juice, orange juice, maybe some almond milk. It’s a breakfast food, and I know this is hard to believe, but most people don’t drink alcohol with breakfast.”
“They’re missing out.”
[name_m]Zac[/name_m] wiped water from his eyes. “I think you’d like peach juice. They add a pinch of nutmeg to cut the sweetness.”
I wrinkled my nose. “I’ve had peach tea before. Not a fan.”
“It’s not tea, though. It’s juice.”
“I assume it’s similar.”
“Not really.”
[…]
“Think of it as wine but instead of grapes, it’s made from peaches,” [name_m]Zac[/name_m] said. “And there’s no alcohol.”
“What’s the point of drinking if it’s not alcohol?”
“Yeah, I should’ve guessed that wouldn’t work.”
I popped my neck. “[name_u]Haven[/name_u]’t we talked about this before?”
“Frequently,” [name_m]Zac[/name_m] said, nodding. “You’re a picky eater.”
“I’m not picky,” I insisted. “I just… like what I like.”
“We had a similar conversation about jasmine water,” [name_m]Zac[/name_m] said. “Which, I must add, you thought was amazing when I tricked you into trying some.”
“What led you to believe I thought it was amazing?”
“You finished the whole glass, turned to me, and said, ‘that was amazing’.”
I chewed on my lip. “Alright, I’ll concede this one.”
“[name_m]How[/name_m] noble of you.”
9 Likes
“Hey, P,” [name_m]Zac[/name_m] said, nudging me underneath the table. “Look to your right. Ugly hat alert.”
The man at the table behind us wore a green, wide-brimmed hat with a golden feather sticking out. I nodded my approval.
“That has to be worth at least ten points,” [name_m]Zac[/name_m] said.
“What?” I asked. “[name_m]How[/name_m]?”
“Two points for the feather,” he said, counting on his hands, “two because it’s a weird shape. Two for the weird color, but then the feather is also weird, and so is the thread; it’s blue.”
I frowned. “I’ll give you six. It’s not a weird shape and thread doesn’t count.”
“It’s so flat!”
“Six!”
“What are you talking about?” [name_m]Emre[/name_m] asked. “What’s with the points?”
Before [name_m]Zac[/name_m] or I could explain, [name_f]Ksenia[/name_f] sighed.
“They have this dumb competition to see who can find the weirdest hat,” she said, rolling her eyes. “Also, no one else understands their scoring system either.”
“I’ve explained it to you before,” I said.
“Who’s winning?” [name_m]Emre[/name_m] asked.
“Me,” I said.
[name_m]Zac[/name_m] scoffed. “Only because you keep track of the scores and never add mine.”
“Not true!”
[…]
“Last time I asked, [name_m]Zac[/name_m] was in the lead,” Azélie said as she drowned her slice of bread in the olive oil.
“Ha!”
“To be fair,” she added, “that was a few months ago.”
Later, the competition continues…
As we weaved through the market, now buzzing in the early morning sun, [name_m]Zac[/name_m] nudged me with his shoulder. “Six points,” he said.
“What?” I followed his finger to a man with a red, feathered fedora.
“Weird shape, bright color, and a feather.” He counted them off on his hands then held them up with the score. “Six points. [name_u]Read[/name_u] them and weep.”
I stuck out my tongue but couldn’t argue.
“Oof, how could you miss that?” [name_f]Ksenia[/name_f] said. Her voice dripped with sarcasm and a feigned interest. “It was right in front of you.”
“Slight lapse in attention,” I explained. “Won’t happen again. I am the master of finding ridiculous hats.”
[name_m]Zac[/name_m] lifted his eyebrows. “Really? Because I happen to be in the lead.”
“What?” I whirled around to face him. “Since when?”
“Since I started keeping track of the scores.”
I scoffed. “That’s not fair. Who died and made you scorekeeper?”
“Technically, you died.” He jabbed a finger towards the wound on my abdomen. “But I assumed the position because you cheat.”
“[name_f]Do[/name_f] not.”
“[name_f]Do[/name_f] to.”
[name_m]Emre[/name_m] shook his head. “I still don’t understand this game.”
“No one does,” [name_f]Ksenia[/name_f] said.
“What do they get if they win?” he asked.
“It never ends. They’ve been playing since before I met them.”
“Three years this [name_f]September[/name_f],” I added.
[name_m]Emre[/name_m] snapped his fingers. “You know what you should do? [name_f]Every[/name_f] six months or whatever, you should tally up the scores, and whoever loses has to wear a ridiculous hat of the winner’s choosing for a day.”
I exchanged a look with [name_m]Zac[/name_m]. “That could be fun.”
“Only if [name_f]Petra[/name_f] isn’t the one keeping score.”
“Shut up.”
[name_f]Ksenia[/name_f] rolled her eyes. “Maybe if you guys created a logical scoring system, you could ask somebody else to keep score. Someone unbiased.”
We shot her a suspicious look that she pretended to ignore.
“I don’t believe you’re unbiased,” [name_m]Zac[/name_m] said.
She shrugged. “And if you tie, I get to pick out hats for both of you.” She cracked a smirk at the idea.
6 Likes
Morning,” [name_m]Zac[/name_m] said after I appeared at his side. “I hope you don’t mind but I saw that you’d fallen asleep and, after seeing your room, I decided to let you rest. Actually, I don’t really care if you mind because I won’t feel bad for caring about your health.”
I snorted. “Yikes, next thing you know, you’ll be making me eat a balanced breakfast too.”
He gave me a vexed look but let it go.
“I did some more plotting,” he said, motioning to the parchment in front of him. “It was about a half hour ago so it should still be pretty accurate. You can check my math, if you want.”
I glanced at the numbers and the location he’d labeled on the map. “No, thank you,” I said, handing it back. “It’s way too early in the day for math. I’m gonna go get something to eat.”
“Fruits and whole grains?” he asked.
“Leftover jerky.”
“At least it’s a protein.”
(During a fight scene but I took out the action)
“It’s an average [name_m]Saturday[/name_m], I guess.”
The man at his feet lunged for a stray knife on the ground but [name_m]Zac[/name_m] stomped on his hand and then did the same to his head. [name_m]Zac[/name_m] arched his eyebrow at me.
“It’s [name_f]Tuesday[/name_f],” he said.
“What?” I answered. “Aw man…”
[… fighting …]
“Wait a minute,” I asked [name_m]Zac[/name_m] as we dealt with our next opponents. “[name_m]How[/name_m] many days did I spend in my room drawing maps?”
He grunted as a stray blade nicked him in the thigh but he returned the blow by knocking the man over with his massive elbow. “[name_m]How[/name_m] many do you remember?”
[… fighting …]
“Maybe two?” I answered as I brushed the sand off my sword. “I would’ve said three, at the most.”
[name_m]Zac[/name_m] laughed and knocked a man clean-out with a single jab of his hilt.
“I don’t think I saw you for a week,” he said.
I gaped at him over my shoulder when I was steady in a block. “A week? You mean to tell me I can’t pay attention for the five minutes it takes to hang my clothes in the closet but I fixated on one thing for seven freaking days?”
“It shocked me too.”
[… fighting …]
We looked at each other, then the scene of wounded and unconscious pirates littered across the sand, and exchanged a shrug.
“[name_m]Just[/name_m] an average [name_f]Tuesday[/name_f],” I said, collapsing into a sitting position.
5 Likes
wow @SparkleNinja18 [name_u]Love[/name_u] your scenes!!
I love all your writing styles, guys!
3 Likes
@EJpuddlejumper, I’m sure your writing style must be equally unique and amusing to read.
In this scene, [name_u]Hali[/name_u] and [name_m]Xavier[/name_m] have just stolen away in the middle of the night to be married, unbeknownst to their respective families. Their decision to marry was so spontaneous that they forgot to bring wedding bands for the priest to bless, forcing them to exchange wedding scarves (the setting is winter) instead of rings.
Here, [name_u]Hali[/name_u]'s sister, [name_f]Melody[/name_f], has just discovered their secret:
“[name_f]Melody[/name_f],” [name_u]Hali[/name_u] sighed, covering her forehead with the flat of her hand. “[name_m]Don[/name_m]'t talk to my husband with such disrespect.”
“You’re not married yet,” hissed [name_f]Melody[/name_f].
“Truthfully, we are,” [name_u]Hali[/name_u] admitted. “We eloped two nights ago.”
“You’re kidding!” [name_f]Melody[/name_f] cried, flopping backwards on the bed. “You’re dead. You’re both dead. So many people were looking forward to this wedding, and you’ve gone and spoiled the whole day.”
[name_f]Melody[/name_f] angrily slammed the mattress with her fist, evidently in an attempt to punish [name_m]Xavier[/name_m] who was stuck underneath the bed. [name_u]Hali[/name_u] rushed to kneel at her sister’s feet and took [name_f]Melody[/name_f]'s hand in hers.
“Please, please, please don’t say anything. We’re still going through with the ceremony. And after that, we’ll have a secret anniversary to look forward to every year. Isn’t that romantic?”
“You’re crazy if you think this inane plan of yours is going to pan out. Both of you!”
[name_u]Hali[/name_u] then pressed [name_f]Melody[/name_f]'s hand to her cheek, “I invoke the Sacred Vow of Sisterhood. You mustn’t tell anyone.”
Before she knew it, [name_u]Hali[/name_u] heard the sound of her mother singing the Wedding [name_u]March[/name_u] as she made her way through the corridor. The queen’s singing increased in volume as she neared [name_u]Hali[/name_u]'s quarters.
“Oh, girls? The tea is ready!”
Frantically, [name_u]Hali[/name_u] clasped her hands together in prayer, “I beg of you, [name_u]Mel[/name_u]. Please, distract Mom long enough for me to help [name_m]Xavier[/name_m] escape.”
“All right,” [name_f]Melody[/name_f] grumbled. “Seeing as you invoked the Sacred Vow of Sisterhood, and all. But you owe me. Big time.”
Without another word, [name_f]Melody[/name_f] left to intercept their mother, and [name_u]Hali[/name_u] pulled her husband from under the bed. Shoving his jumbled clothes into his arms, [name_u]Hali[/name_u] pushed him toward the balcony doors. She opened the doors wide and gave [name_m]Xavier[/name_m] one final shove until he stumbled backwards into the cold.
“Oh, wait!” [name_u]Hali[/name_u] called to him, and wrapped her husband’s wedding scarf around his neck. As if that one article of clothing would protect him from the harsh winter elements.
Finally, she closed the door on him with an apologetic smile. Mere moments later, [name_u]Hali[/name_u] winced when she heard [name_m]Xavier[/name_m] holler, followed by a loud crash. Had he fallen off the trellis? Feeling incredibly guilty now, [name_u]Hali[/name_u] prayed he hadn’t seriously injured himself.
4 Likes
Okay, so, my main character needs to get inside this compound and she’s trying to convince a scientist to let her in because she’s not supposed to be there (it’s the lab of the antagonist, [name_u]Marian[/name_u]) and first she’s like “[name_u]Marian[/name_u] gave me a job but I forgot the passcode” and she convinces the guy to put his passcode in but then there’s a fingerprint security element and he’s like “well, if you work here, put your fingerprint in” but obviously she can’t so she needs to convince him:
My only hope is stupidity. And I have a really stupid lie on the tip of my tongue.
“Oh well, really… okay, really, I’m Mom- I mean, [name_u]Marian[/name_u]’s- daughter, and… and our cat just died and now our dog is trying to eat it so I really really need to talk to her to see what she wants me to do and I locked my dog in a room for now so he doesn’t eat it but I can’t leave him like that all the way until Mom gets home, and I think that my little brother [name_m]Barnaby[/name_m] might start trying to eat the cat too so I need to ask mom to come home or tell me what to do!” I internally swear at myself. Why am I such an idiot? The man looks bewildered. I don’t blame him.
“Um… o-kaaaay. I’ll let you be on your way now.” He presses his thumb to the sensor, still staring at me. I push the door open, and he backs slowly across the room to the exit. I wave sweetly at him, and turn around and head down the stairs.
7 Likes
Basically [name_f]Liv[/name_f] is my main character, [name_m]Atticus[/name_m] is her best friend, [name_u]Kai[/name_u] is [name_m]Atticus[/name_m]’s brother, and [name_f]Sophie[/name_f] is a friend
“[name_f]Do[/name_f] you have freckles everywhere [name_f]Liv[/name_f]?”-[name_f]Sophie[/name_f]
“I don’t know I’ve never checked”-[name_f]Liv[/name_f]
“[name_m]Atticus[/name_m]?”- [name_f]Sophie[/name_f]
“No I don’t think I have any freckles”- [name_f]Liv[/name_f]
“ I wasn’t asking about you…”- [name_f]Sophie[/name_f]
“What?”-[name_m]Atticus[/name_m]
“He was asking because he though you might have seen if [name_f]Liv[/name_f] had freckles everywhere”- [name_u]Kai[/name_u]
spits out water- [name_m]Atticus[/name_m]
chokes on air- [name_f]Liv[/name_f]
———————
[name_f]Liv[/name_f] and [name_m]Atticus[/name_m] about to kiss and [name_u]Kai[/name_u] walked in
“Mum wants you…ok I’m just going to leave now…”
They both kinda stare anyone’s at him
“I’ll leave you two alone”
Then because [name_m]Atticus[/name_m] is dramatic af he’s just like
“No! The moment is gone”
And [name_f]Liv[/name_f] is just like rolling her eyes
“You’re such a dramatic idiot”
And [name_u]Kai[/name_u] walks in the moment they lean back in for a kiss
“I can’t work if I have atrocious timing it just really bad luck”
And there’s loads of sarcastic one/two liners:
“Wow [name_f]Liv[/name_f] you look a knockout”
“I wish I was knocked out”
You know what the best thing about living with you is?
I get to have sleepovers with my best friend, who I love a hell of a lot more than platonically, every night
“Ugh I got more bruises than I though last night” [name_m]Atticus[/name_m]
“Your ego maybe” [name_f]Liv[/name_f]
[name_u]Kai[/name_u]/Tilly (sister) raises eyebrows
“Fighting monsters, oh my god fighting monsters”
Awkwardness continues.
‘I wish I could say being kidnapped was fun, but it really, really, wasn’t ‘
Sorry that’s a bunch. I hope that cheers at least a few people up!
Edit; this isn’t how I actually write this is just the first draft from notes and they are just how I understand them best to use later
4 Likes
The woman took a deep breath, as if she didn’t know where to start either. “First, you should know that there were good reasons why it had to happen this way. We have a plan how to save the earth and its world, but for it to work we had to make it look like we kidnapped you.”
“But you did kidnap me!”
1 Like
I have a few, because I can’t decide.
My main character is Andison, and [name_m]Chadwick[/name_m] is her friend.
Chadwick caught my eye, then raised his eyebrows. I had the sudden urge to flip him off, and actually did. He could go die in a hole.
“I told you,” he said as I sat back down.
“I hate you,” I said, mimicking his tone.
He patted my back. “You don’t really mean that, do you?”
Chadwick got hurt, and Andison’s first-aiding him.
“[name_f]Andi[/name_f] [name_u]Lou[/name_u],” [name_m]Chadwick[/name_m] said cautiously, “I don’t like that look on your face. What are you thinking, exactly?”
I shook my head.
“Okay,” he said earnestly. “Walk me through what’s going on.”
“We need to wash the wound out.”
“How?” he asked.
I looked to the sink. That won’t work . I looked to the bathtub. That’s gonna hurt really bad. Finally, my eyes landed on the shower.
“I’m going to turn on the shower, and you’re going to stand under it while I clean it out,” I said slowly, measuring each word.
“Aw, no,” he said, shaking his head. “I really don’t care if I get an infection and die, I—“
“I’m not going to make you strip .” I sighed. “Get in the damn shower, idiot.”
“You already took my shirt–”
“[name_m]Chadwick[/name_m].”
[Fast forward a little bit…]
Finally, I finished, tying the bandage off. The result wasn’t super awesome, but it would hold. I could deal with that.
[name_m]Chadwick[/name_m] ran a hand over the white wrapping. “Wow,” he whispered, looking at it. “Did you ever take a first aid lesson?”
I glared at him, which was useless because he wasn’t even looking at me. “Actually, I took a [name_u]Red[/name_u] [name_u]Cross[/name_u] thingy in eighth grade, so thank you very much.”
He looked up, his green eyes meeting mine. “You are very welcome,” he said sarcastically. “But you seem to have forgotten all that you learned.”
“If you weren’t hurt right now,” I said, “I would punch you. But I’m being nice.”
Rosalie is Andison’s friend.
I may or may not have screamed.
You know, I think it was actually [name_f]Rosalie[/name_f] [name_m]Ames[/name_m] who did the screaming. She scares easily, you know. Yep. I’m right.
“Oh my… [name_f]Holy[/name_f]… What the… Are you okay?” [name_f]Rosie[/name_f] asked, through gasps of breath.
I nodded. “Yep, me? I’m fine. How are you today?”
There’s a very serious scene between [name_m]Chadwick[/name_m] and Andison, then [name_m]Zachariah[/name_m] interrupts:
“Heya guys!” [name_m]Zach[/name_m] said, climbing down from the roof. “[name_m]Just[/name_m] your friendly neighborhood meteorologist dropping by. I had to check my rain gauge. What’s going on? I heard nothing, of course. Ooh, [name_m]Chadwick[/name_m]! I’m digging that hair. Purple looks nice on you.”
([name_m]Chadwick[/name_m] can change his physical appearance, and his hair turned purple.)
1 Like