Hoping you can help! I am pregnant with my 4th child. I have 2 girls and 1 boy. They all have “C” names and my girls have gender bender names. ([name]Charleigh[/name] [name]Elaine[/name], [name]Carson[/name] [name]Geneva[/name], and [name]Cal[/name] [name]Gardner[/name]. I have a strong feeling this one will be a girl and the only name I have picked out, that I love for a girl is [name]Cody[/name]. I think it goes well with my other children’s names.
Here is my dilemma. Last night my [name]SIL[/name] is in town and asked what I have picked out for names. I told her my choice for a girl is [name]Cody[/name]. She practically screamed “NO” and my [name]MIL[/name] followed suit by saying “You can’t do that!” Apparently, this was the name of the woman that had an affair with my [name]SIL[/name] ex husband. I understand how they feel about the name. But she is remarried and never had children with this ex husband that she was only married to for 9 months. Should I let their feelings determine my name choice or try and find a new name to pacify them? I asked my DH and he likes the name [name]Cody[/name] and was shocked that they made such a big deal about it. [name]Even[/name] though he feels this way, he would never rock the boat where his mother and sister are concerned.
Please advice, and maybe some name recommendations that I may like. Thanks!
Hmm tough call. That’s clearly a very bad association for them. I have a sister who went through a pretty traumatic divorce, and though she never had kids with him and is now happily remarried, I would not consider using the name of her ex. I just wouldn’t want to do that to her.
On the other hand, they will love the child no matter what and maybe the new association with the name will replace the old. Might not be worth the disagreement in the meantime though. Have you considered [name]Cory[/name]? I find that more unisex than [name]Cody[/name].
Although it may have been a short marriage, scars like that can run deep, do you want your mother in law and sister in law to wince every time they hear your daughters name and be reminded of a very difficult time in their lives? As much as they could just get over it, maybe it might be better to move onto a different C name, or at least try to!
Yeah, I wouldn’t do that. I imagine that if you used it anyway it would cause quite a rift between you and the in-laws. If it were me I’d hate to feel like I hurt someone by using a name.
The PP’s gave great suggestions for similar alternates.
My long-term ex-boyfriend cheated on me years ago and although I’ve happily moved on, I shudder every time I see the other woman’s name, so I understand how your [name]SIL[/name] feels. To be honest, I think [name]Cody[/name] sounds a little dated. What about [name]Cady[/name]? It’s not as unisex but it is spunky.
Unfortunately, my neighbor’s name is [name]Cori[/name] and my DH wouldn’t go for it, he doesn’t like her too much. Any other suggestions? Keep in mind my other daughters names are [name]Charleigh[/name] (pronounced [name]Charlie[/name]) and [name]Carson[/name]. So no girly names please. Thanks for the suggestions though.
Oh, how utterly ridiculous! Not to mention rude. What you name your child is nobody’s call but your own. Your in-laws are being petty, silly, and appallingly childish. Use the name.
I was fully prepared to come on this thread and say, ‘hell no - just ignore them’, but now I’ve read the reason why I kinda agree with them.
This name brings bad awful memories for your [name]SIL[/name], painful ones, and you don’t want your [name]SIL[/name] or your other ILs to relate your daughter’s name to such a painful time do you?
[name]Camryn[/name]/[name]Cameron[/name] would be perfect for you.
[name]Kendall[/name] - doesn’t start with a C but has the same sound as [name]Carson[/name] ([name]Kendall[/name] was originally used on males)
[name]Campbell[/name]
I would chose something different. The scars of being cheated on never really go away, they’re something that stay with you, even if you have moved on. Now, it’s your choice whether to knowingly do something that would hurt your [name]SIL[/name], or try to find something else you love.
Some other “gender-bending” C options:
[name]Cooper[/name]
[name]Cabot[/name]
[name]Casey[/name]-More unisex than truely gender-bending, and also maybe too similar to [name]Carson[/name].
[name]Cameron[/name]-Same as [name]Casey[/name], more unisex.
[name]Chase[/name]
[name]Chandler[/name]
[name]Channing[/name]
[name]Cole[/name]
[name]Cale[/name]
What about [name]Camden[/name] or [name]Cameron[/name]? They are a little close to [name]Carson[/name], though. It’s difficult to find another C-name that is unisex and isn’t too similar to [name]Charleigh[/name] and [name]Carson[/name]. Is [name]Cadence[/name] to girly for you? The only other one I can think of is Chyler (pronounced [name]Ky[/name]-ler).
I agree, using the name isn’t worth upsetting the in-laws if they feel so strongly about it. I love the name [name]Juliet[/name], but would never be able to use it for the same reason.
I really like the suggestion of using [name]Cameron[/name]. I’ve always liked that name and to me it’s very unisex.
Thank y’all for your input and suggestions. Hearing outside opinions I would have to agree, it’s not worth it. Sometimes you can subconsciously treat someone a certain way because they remind you of someone and I am sure that name could do the same and I wouldn’t want that for my DD.
I am going to run the following names by my DH:
[name]Collins[/name]
Connley
[name]Campbell[/name] (just afraid of being made fun of, due to [name]Campbell[/name] Soup), but I do like it.
I would love to use [name]Camryn[/name] but my DH BF son is named [name]Cameron[/name] and I had [name]Camdyn[/name] picked out for a girl when I had my son but one of my close friends used it for her new little girl because we weren’t planning on having a 4th. Ugh!
