We had a great [name]Christmas[/name], but I find myself feeling withdrawn and generally sad. We’ve been TTC for almost 2 years and no luck. It’s starting to look like endometriosis might be the culprit - a possibility we are just now beginning to explore. I had such a great time playing with all my nieces and nephews the last few days, but I also felt a deep sadness. It got to the point where I just needed to get out of there ASAP to avoid getting emotional in front of everyone. [name]Just[/name] watching those sweet babies and wishing for one of my own…
I don’t want to be THAT person. The one that seems selfish and weird because she’s having personal problems. I just want to have a good time and enjoy everyone’s company. But it was really tough this year. My husband sympathizes, but doesn’t really feel the same way.
Has anyone else who had difficulty TTC felt this way? I’m sure I’m not alone, but I don’t have anyone else in my life who’s had these issues and can relate. I’d love to hear about your own experiences.
I can’t say I’ve had your experience, and when I hear how long you’ve been TTC, I feel a little guilty about how sad I felt this [name]Christmas[/name]. My husband and I have only been TTC since [name]September[/name], so we’ve gone through four unsuccessful cycles. My little sister is pregnant (at nineteen and still living at home with my parents), which is tough for me to watch. This month AF was due on [name]Christmas[/name] day, and I had been debating whether I would have the guts to test on [name]Christmas[/name] morning, knowing that I would either have an amazing surprise to give my husband for [name]Christmas[/name], or I would get a huge disappointment that could dampen the holiday. Well AF decided to come on [name]Christmas[/name] [name]Eve[/name] instead, saving me the disappointment on [name]Christmas[/name] day, but bringing plenty of cramps and sadness just the same. Didn’t help Skyping with relatives who asked, in front of my entire family, if I had any big announcements to make, because apparently they are all expecting it. I don’t know how it must feel for you to have tried for two years with no success, but I can relate to the feelings of longing. I cry every month that we are unsuccessful. I also tend to dream about babies at night–not every night, but often enough to make it hurt worse. I have a one-track mind and basically it’s all I think about! I’m not depressed, and I’m actually very happy with life, but the wait for a baby is a very, very sensitive and emotional topic for me too, and we’ve only been TTC for a fraction of the time that you have been. I hope you get your own little one in the [name]New[/name] Year!
Tintri, I have not been in your shoes but think what you’re describing sounds completely reasonable and normal. I just wanted to ask, after 2 years have you sought a medical evaluation yet?
Personally I received wonderful [name]Christmas[/name] news-- after 6 years of infertility, my sister officially made it on the wait list for a Chinese adoption. Fertility is so seldom what you want it to be-- my sister and her husband. Have had all their ducks in a row for years, and would make spectacular parents, but can’t get pregnant. Whereas I had [name]Antoine[/name] way too soon, unplanned, which resulted in terrible difficulties for us.
I’m right there with you - we thought this would be our baby girl’s 1st [name]Christmas[/name]. Instead, I have cried every day this holiday season and we have had no luck TTC (since [name]July[/name]). I’ve been charting my bbt and have noticed some issues, so we’ll be going to a fertility specialist in [name]January[/name]. The holidays are heart breaking for a lot of us… having to see all those babies in “My 1st [name]Christmas[/name]” outfits, seeing all the holiday pregnancy announcements, etc. It gets to be too much at times. Know you’re not alone. I wish you a wonderful 2013 with a new addition to your family.
I registered for the forum just to reply to this post! (I’m a lurker most of the time.)
No, you are NOT alone. I felt the same way you do for years. It took us four years, three reproductive endocrinologists, a surgery, 3 IUIs, and an IVF to get pregnant. (I’m 16 weeks now.) And through all of that time, my sisters-in-law, my cousins, my friends, all had baby after baby, and while I tried not to be [name]Princess[/name] Bringdown all the time, it was hard. Particularly since it’s so difficult to find anyone who’s willing to talk about infertility, despite how common it is.
Infertility is such a painful thing, and for me, I don’t know if I could have made it through the worst times without online community. If that sort of thing sounds appealing to you, and if you don’t mind advice from a complete stranger, I would suggest starting here: A Whole Lot of Blogging–Brought to You Sorted and Filed Stirrup Queens
Anyway, I just wanted to say, again, that you’re NOT alone.
Thank you all so much. Your kind words, encouragement, and advice really help me feel less alone (and less crazy.) I see a new doc at the end of [name]January[/name] to start searching for some answers and options. Thanks all!
oh you poor thing i have been there! we had to use ivf to get pregnant and the holidays were always terrible especially when you see other family members wth babes all around. [name]Hope[/name] the new doctor can help you its so hard.,
My husband and I started TTC right away (once married) and it took Over 1 year to get pregnant AFTER seeking fertility help! We were very lucky and got pregnant with our son after only 1 round of CLOMID…
I have always been irregular and also had a section of my left ovary removed due to a large cyst when I was 21… Turns out I didnt ovulate… The clmoid fixed that!
Since my son was born (over 2 years ago) we have used NO form of birth control at all and NOTHING (again)! We took 1 cycle of clmoid in [name]April[/name] and NOTHING… we took a break over the summer and have to go back for MORe testing in fall… We are now on a higher dose of the same drug that help us get preggo with the first so hopefully it works!!!
I know what you mean about feeling sad… I felt like that when trying to pregnant with my first and now as well! I always find it hard to watch young, unprepared girls get “accidently” pregnant and here I am trying SOOO hard!!! It can be very frustrating!
It’s good that you are going to see a doc for help!!!
P.s I always find it nice to distract myself by looking at adoption sights [name]JUST[/name] IN [name]CASE[/name] and see all the little children and babies that need homes and see that even if I couldnt concieve my own child that I could still have one!
