When I was pregnant I wanted to name my son [name]Daniel[/name] but my husband really wanted us to name our son after his father, [name]John[/name]. Mr. [name]John[/name] wasn’t that old but he hadn’t been himself for some time, and eventualy I gave in to naming our unborn son, [name]John[/name].
A short time later, we all found out that Mr. [name]John[/name] had cancer and we were told he would have only a couple of months. At this point, I was glad that I changed my mind before knowing about Mr. [name]John[/name]'s cancer but at the same time I was upset about Mr. [name]John[/name] having cancer in the first place.
Mr. [name]John[/name] was diagnosed with cancer a month before he died.
The next month I gave birth via emergency c-section, to our son [name]John[/name]. I won’t go into all of it, but [name]John[/name], put simply had a severely underdeveloped brain and brain stem.
We had our son for 18 days before he died.
If it wasn’t for our daughter I don’t think my husband or I could have made it, especially my husband.
Several months later my sister in law is getting pretty far in her pregnancy. My sister in law has asked me if she could name her son [name]Daniel[/name], to which my husband saves the day and tells her to think up her own names. I can’t remember how she tells me but I knew she was going to name her son [name]John[/name] but refer to him by his middle name, [name]Tucker[/name].
I admit that at this point I was already going crazy. I have no idea if I should have or shouldn’t. I think that my husband turned a blind eye and/or the fight left him.
My mother in law is quite proud, which she is normal, but when I saw her rubbing my sister in law’s belly and telling her that they would have a peace of Mr. [name]John[/name] with them; I fell apart.
Eight months between my [name]John[/name] and her [name]John/name. I’m goin crazy because I feel like I let Mr. [name]John[/name] down and because I feel like my other in law’s didn’t think that my [name]John[/name] was good enough and that he was a waste of name sake. I’m goin crazy because it doesn’t seem to bother my husband…I just don’t know anymore.