Hey berries!
I was wondering what everyone’s thoughts are on kids/people going by their middle name? I know it can be confusing. [name_f]Do[/name_f] you think it’s worth the struggle?
The reason I’m asking is bc I’m absolutely obsessed with the name D’artagnan. I realize that it is a bit heavy as a first name but I really want to use it. What if I put it in the middle name spot then he just goes by D’artagnan? When he’s older, if he likes, he can start going by his first (obviously I’m going to like his first as much as I like D’artagnan, so I won’t really care if he decides to go by his first). Thoughts on this?
The only experience I have with this is my cousin is named Anth0ny K@rl. Anth0ny after his grandpa and K@rl just bc they liked it. He goes by K@rl though and it’s never seen to bothered him in any way.
I know a lot of people who go by their middle names, but usually I don’t know why they go by their middles, I just know that they do. I only know one guy, [name_m]Andrew[/name_m] [name_u]James[/name_u], who goes by [name_u]James[/name_u] because that’s what they wanted to call him but his initials would have spelled ‘JAW-S’ and his parents didn’t want that, especially as I think the film was still relatively popular when he was born.
Honestly, D’artagnan is a hard name to wear - so even if it’s in the middle spot if you’re planning to call him that he’s still going to have to live with wearing it until he’s old enough to decide not to. At that point you may as well call him D’artagnan as a first name and then when he’s older he can switch to his middle.
Generally I only see the point of going by a middle name if there’s a family name that by tradition has to be in the first name slot (and even then, I’m not a huge fan, the tradition can handle people swapping the names around!).
I agree with this. I just figured switching to going by his first may be easier, especially when it comes to legal, doctor, and job stuff.
Also I just wanted to point out that I understand D’artagnan is an extremely heavy name to wear. Then I learned that this YouTuber ([name_u]Taina[/name_u] Licciardo-Toivola) has a son named D’artagnan so it seems more wearable to me especially after watching a could of her videos with him in them.
Honestly, I don’t know though. I’m definitely open to your honest opinions. [name_m]Lay[/name_m] it on me!
I go by my middle name! [name_f]My[/name_f] first name is a lot more common (even though I go by [name_f]Maggie[/name_f] mostly, which is also common but not really for my age group) so I found it more confusing to go by that. I also don’t really like my first name anyway, although it has a lot of meaning for my family. I don’t think that it’s that much of a struggle to go by your middle name.
Honestly, with D’artagnan, I think the more obvious struggle would be with the apostrophe in the name. I don’t have one, but I’ve heard that it causes a lot of issues with databases and official files.
I know people who go by their middle name because their personal preference is for that name, and while it involves correcting, it’s not normally a problem. If they’re happier with that name, I have no problem with it!
However, I think D’artagnan is a little heavy, and if you feel that it is too heavy as a first name, it’s probably too heavy as a middle name used in the same way as a first name.
My grandpa and all of his (eight!) siblings go by their middle names. I don’t know why, but they always have without any problems.
I also know a teenage girl who goes by her middle name. She didn’t feel like her first name fit her, so she switched to using her middle. It was a bit of an awkward transition (she had to remind people a lot) but now we all think of her by her middle name.
I knew a [name_m]Richard[/name_m] [name_m]Adam[/name_m] who went by his middle name because he preferred it.
I also know a [name_m]David[/name_m] [name_u]Michael[/name_u] who goes by his middle name too. I only recently learned this so I’m not sure why but my guess is so people don’t point out how similar his first name and surname are.
I do sometimes find it a bit strange when people go by their middle name rather than their first name. But ultimately, it’s up to them and they have their reasons for choosing their middle over their first.
Honestly I feel that the real struggle would be wearing D’artagnan and I don’t want to come across as mean spirited, but it is difficult to know how to pronounce it (although depending on where you live) and it is so uncommon that I think he will eventually find it very annoying. I wanted to comment on changing the name that he may wish to go by because in real life, that is a very difficult thing to do when family and acquaintances have known you all your life as one name, then you ask them to call you by another. It truly is difficult for those people! Also, every time he meets an acquaintance he would have to say “Oh, BTW, I now go by . For reference, as an adult I became a friend of a former teacher so instead of calling him Mr. R as I had known him for years, I tried to remember to call him [name_m]Rob[/name_m] and it felt like he was still Mr. R so it isn’t just like turning a switch on to the name you want to now be known as.
Note: Not sure how I bolded part of this post. Not intended.
My mom and her two siblings have all gone by their middle names since birth. I can’t speak for the other two, but my mother HATES it—strictly because of the hassle. On some paperwork her first name is the one on the birth certificate; elsewhere, it’s the name she actually goes by and answers to. This has led to many annoyances and inconveniences. Maybe some people don’t have issues with this, but my mom’s frustrations have totally biased me against calling a child by their middle name.
With D’artagnan (which is super cool, btw, though I would never have the guts), if there were in fact any administrative hurdles, I wonder if they would be compounded by the apostrophe.
I actually go by a nickname of my middle name. For the most part, it’s a minor inconvenience. If I’m going to have extended interaction with someone, I’ll correct them, otherwise I’ll let them call me by my first name. I’ll use my first name when it comes to legal documents, but professionally, I use the full version of my middle name.
There’s actually a tradition in my family that the first born sons are named [name_u]James[/name_u], but they never go by it. [name_f]My[/name_f] grandfather goes by the initials of his first and middle name, but my great-grandfather went by his middle name as do my father, brother and nephew. That’s why [name_u]James[/name_u] [name_m]Thorin[/name_m] is on my list. If I have a son, he will most likely go by his middle name.
So, if you want to put D’artagnan in the middle spot instead of the first and call your son by it, I think it’ll be fine. He’ll just have to correct the teacher on his first day of school.
I go by my middle name, my parents never intended for me to actually go by my first name but the wanted me to have the same name as my grandmother. [name_f]My[/name_f] name is [name_f]Mari[/name_f] Raygn (pronounced [name_f]Mary[/name_f] [name_u]Reagan[/name_u]), and I’ve only ever gone by Raygn. The only person that calls me by my first name is my Papa, and he always just says [name_f]Mari[/name_f] Raygn together.
Honestly now that I’ve lived it, I would never do that to my kid. I have several family members that go by their middle names, and they all hate it. It’s a hassle at school, doctors, etc. I always hated the first day of school where a new teacher would yell out my first name, and I’d then have to correct them to call me Raygn. I love my name because it honors my grandmother that I have a very special bond with so I would never change it, I just wish my parents could’ve switched it up or something.
I know this seems super negative, but I wanted to share my true experience with going by my middle name.
I just have to say that I LOVE D’artagnan so much. I once heard of a baseball player named Tanyon, after D’artagnan, and thus find it wearable. [name_m]Dart[/name_m] is an amazing nickname too.
I dont think a child deciding to go by their middle name is hard. It might require having to talk to teachers beforehand to say "Call him _____ instead). But people adapt. And if that that decision is made early on, it will probably be even easier.
I love love love D’artagnan! I don’t think going by a middle name would be too confusing. I live in a largely [name_u]French[/name_u]-Canadian Catholic town and there are a lot of people who’s first name is [name_u]Marie[/name_u] (insert middle name) or [name_m]Joseph[/name_m] (insert middle name) and they go by whatever their second name is. One of my campers last summer was named [name_f]Linda[/name_f] [name_f]Rose[/name_f] but she just went by [name_f]Rose[/name_f] and always quietly corrected anyone who called her by her first name.
Thank you everyone for your responses! It seems like the majority of people’s experiences are positive and isn’t really that much of a struggle so that’s amazing!
@bjoy
[name_u]Love[/name_u] the nickname Tanyon too! I didn’t think of that! But that’s makes it totally more wearable! Thanks so much!
ya i think it is fine
there was a boy in my class whose name was [name_m]Jonathan[/name_m] [name_u]Palmer[/name_u] but [name_m]Jonathan[/name_m] didnt fit him so he went by [name_u]Palmer[/name_u]