Have I Got It Right?

Writers' Corner
1

I’m writing an original story about a girl who works her way out of juvie to help save a man who was wrongly put into jail for the murder of his best friend. It’s going to be called either ‘The [name]Promise[/name]’, ‘Two Jail Birds’ or ‘The 365 [name]Day[/name] [name]Promise[/name]’ (please tell me which you like the best too if you wish!) Now, I would like to make sure I have the names right… it would be pretty silly not to have a smooth sounding name or one that didn’t mesh correctly. I am open to all suggestions!

MAINS
[name]Claudia[/name] [name]Grace[/name] [name]James[/name]- [name]Claudia[/name] was a sweetheart at age 12 until a house fire destroyed her home and tragically killed her parents. After a year, she became an Arson Expert/[name]Fire[/name] Bug, getting caught by the police after torching someone’s front yard. Becoming the [name]Queen[/name] in the juvie at 16, she gets a Mentor named [name]Micah[/name] Friedrichs, who she finds out was wrongly implicated in the murder of his best friend. After she gets out of jail, she promises [name]Micah[/name] that in one years time, she will get him out of jail by compiling evidence. (Blonde/[name]Brown[/name] Hair, green eyes, tall, slim build)

[name]Micah[/name] [name]Johan[/name] Friedrichs- Dark, tall and handsome, he was born in a small European country, [name]Micah[/name] came with his politician father to [name]America[/name] to escape the violence of war and arms dealers, one of which has a deadly obsession with his father. After being framed and wrongly imprisoned for his best friend’s murder, he tells everyone he’s innocent with only a few believing him. [name]Micah[/name] sees how [name]Claudia[/name] repents for what she did and helps her get out of juvie, only to have her repay the favour. He has three younger siblings all born in [name]America[/name]; [name]Alexander[/name], [name]Juliette[/name] and [name]Isabelle[/name] Friedrichs. (Dark brown/black hair, blue eyes, tall, has European accent)

[name]Hannah[/name] O’[name]Keefe[/name]-A driven lawyer at the start of the story, she is the person who introduces [name]Claudia[/name] to [name]Micah[/name]. During the story, you see [name]Hannah[/name] has a little crush on [name]Micah[/name] and, though she doesn’t know it, he has one on her too. She becomes an Assistant DA, causing her not to see [name]Micah[/name] as often and a rift in their relationship. When [name]Claudia[/name] compiles all her evidence, she calls [name]ADA[/name] O’[name]Keefe[/name] to go over all the evidence, forcing her to re-open the case. ([name]Hannah[/name] has dyed red hair, hazel eyes, is mid height and is slim build)

Thanks guys!! :slight_smile:

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Personally, I’d go with the “365 day promise” or something similar to that. “The promise” seems very cliche and I’d probably skip over that in a book store, depsite the fact that your idea is fresh and creative

I like [name]Claudia[/name], [name]Hannah[/name] and [name]Micah[/name]. I don’t know how well [name]Micah[/name] fits in with his siblings, though. I would imagine [name]Michael[/name] to be the name his family would have chosen. Perhaps [name]Micah[/name] was a nickname? Though it doesn’t really matter, maybe they just liked the name. Either way, they all sound good together, no worries!

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Thank you! [name]Micah[/name], I worked into as his uncle’s name, who died when he was really young. The 365 [name]Day[/name] [name]Promise[/name] was a name one of my friends came up with :slight_smile: she’ll be so excited someone liked it!

4

The names are good, and the plot sounds fun and fresh. Regarding titles, I think that “The [name]Promise[/name]” sounds too cliche–no offense; I’d almost guarantee there’re a couple other "The [name]Promise[/name]"s out there. “Two Jail Birds” would work, but it feels just a bit forced–more like a short story title than a novel title. (I’m assuming this is a novel, because it sounds like you’ve got at least two plot threads going–the romance and the main plot, both of which could be difficult over the span of a couple thousand words). [name]Long[/name] story short (no pun intended), I also prefer “The 365 [name]Day[/name] [name]Promise[/name]”, though maybe cut out the “the”? “365 [name]Day[/name] [name]Promise[/name]” has a nice ring to it…

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:slight_smile: thanks Akky for the input!
I agree, the [name]Promise[/name] does sound very cliché indeed. My working title is the ‘Two Jail Birds’ name at the present moment, because it was just a spur of the moment thing… it’s turned into a monster now!! haha
365 [name]Day[/name] [name]Promise[/name] will hopefully be the ending title when I finish it!

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I agree with “365 [name]Day[/name] [name]Promise[/name]”. Cut out the ‘The’. Very fresh idea.

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:slight_smile: thank you livytoo!