I think there are a few good reasons to keep your babys name on a need to know basis. First if it isn’t something like [name]Jack[/name], [name]Brad[/name], [name]Jessica[/name], or [name]Rachel[/name] there is always going to be someones grandma or aunt who thinks its too uncommon or down right trashy. You know who I’m talking about, every family has at least one. Then their are some relatives that get upset if you don’t honor a family tradition, for example if you and all your cousins have the middle name [name]Lee[/name] (boy or girl) and you want a little something different for your childs middle name, there could be a little bit of drama.
Also one thing we all know is you cannot under any circumstances copywrite a name. If your let it known at your baby shower you are going to name you little princess [name]April[/name] and your sister-in-law who is due a month before you just LOVES the name [name]April[/name] all of a sudden you need to either start finding another name last minute or put your daughter through a lifetime of being [name]April[/name] M. [name]Scott[/name] with her first cousin [name]April[/name] L. [name]Scott[/name].
Am I over thinking this or has anyone else decided to keep their “very” top favorites on the down low from their nearest and dearest?
Also how do you go about keeping it a secret when it comes close to your due date? [name]Do[/name] you just lie and say you don’t know yet or are waiting to see what the baby looks like or do you flat out say its going to be a surprise?
Considered? I am! I think its best to not discuss names with family or friends. For one: It won’t remain a secret so someone may steal it. Secondly, you will get rude comments or suggestions that you don’t like. Not keeping the baby’s name a secret can cause a lot of unnecessary drama.
I think telling the baby’s gender is better than telling them your list. If they ask, just say I want it to be a surprise, but were are sure you will love it.
I always keep the name a secret. If anyone asks me about it, I just say that we will announce it when the baby is born. I don’t know why anyone shares the name ahead of time. I don’t think any good comes of it and it just opens to door for everyone to voice their opinion or possible “steal” the name.
I don’t talk about names with anyone except my husband (since I have to, haha!), my mom (she doesn’t always like my names, but she’s honest and it’s not like she’s having any more kids to steal names) and you guys. No one knew the exact combinations we were going to use for either child until they were already born.
My plan is to keep the baby a secret altogether until I know the gender. Then I plan to throw a baby celebration and reveal the child’s name at that. I think keeping the name a secret is a good idea, but if you are positive on one name then I don’t see the problem announcing it.
I agree with keeping it a secret. It feels more celebratory if you reveal after the birth (to me). Gender revealing can be helpful as far as your baby shower gifts, though.
I am definitely planning to keep our baby’s name a secret. Partly because I don’t really want to know anyone’s opinion on the name we choose (or any name stealers), but also because I think it’s fun to keep one element of the baby’s birth a surprise. For us, everyone will know the gender, the due date, our decorating theme for the nursery…pretty much all of the details. I have always liked the idea of keeping the baby’s name just between me and my husband until the birth just so we can have one piece of the “baby process” just between the two of us. I think this might kill our parents not knowing the name, so the only exception may be to tell them, but I’m not even 100% sure about that…they’d have to swear an oath of secrecy :).
I don’t think there’s anything wrong with simply saying “the baby’s name is going to be a surprise.” My friend did this and, while it drove me crazy (being the name lover that I am), I understood why she did this. She and her husband chose a unique (meaningful to them) name for their son and knew they’d receive some kick back from people if they shared the name before his birth. To my knowledge, nobody said anything to them about the name and they attribute this to waiting until their son was born to share the name. Their though was that if anyone hated it, they would’t say anything since the baby was already born and assigned the name.
If I’m absolutely certain that I’ve settled on a name, I’ll share it. I don’t feel any need to keep it a secret. I’m not worried about name stealing (although I admit I might feel differently if I was pregnant at the same time as a relative with the same last name). It also doesn’t bother me to have my family and friends rag on a name, as long as I can dismiss their comments as simple differences of opinion or ignorance about current trends. If their criticism is more concrete, like a negative association I was unaware of or a big problem with the name’s flow that somehow escaped my notice, I want to hear it.
If I did want to keep it a secret, I would just tell people who asked that the name would be announced when he/she was born. Tell them to keep their cell phones close at hand.
It seems odd to me, because if you love a name then you should be proud of it, not hide it in secrecy for fear of criticism. That’s just my take on it, plus we’re pretty close with our families and they wouldn’t understand at all why we wouldn’t tell them the name.
I think it’s less rude to say you haven’t decided than to flat out say, ‘we picked the name, but we aren’t going to tell you’.
That being said, it’s a personal decision. [name]Do[/name] what works best for you.
I didn’t tell anyone what we would name our son, because honestly we didn’t decide it until he was born.
That didn’t stop people from commenting on how awful his name was, or making fun of it.
We will probably do it the same way next time. Neither I or my boyfriend feels the need to decide our baby’s name weeks before he or she is born.
Yes I know, and I don’t really want to get this forum off topic, but since I feel the need to respond to this…
I plan to not see anyone when I am pregnant. This is easy for me since I don’t live anywhere near family/friends. The closest is my parents who are a 3 hour drive away. I don’t plan to travel.
As much as I love talking about names, I HATE having name conversations with anyone in ‘real life’ apart from just one of my friends (she’s a name nerd as well and we have similar tastes). I think everyone I know knows that I plan to name my first son “[name]Edmund[/name]” but after that, I’ve never brought anything up. I’m still years away from having kids, but in the past 4 years, there have been 5 little girls born in to my family and names were never brought up before the birth (with the family, at least). In my family, names are one of those “parents only” deals and nobody presses for details. I actually really like it this way. After the births, nobody’s said anything bad about any of the names and they styles are all over the place, from SUPER common to pretty out-there.
For the most part, my group of close friends from high school are not kind at all when it comes to names and will bash anything that isn’t trendy and/or a boy name on a girl. I hate their taste in names, and they hate mine, and I kind of would rather never tell them what my kids’ names are (when I have kids in the future) because they’re that harsh and judgmental and vocal.
I can’t see myself making any kind of official announcement before the birth certificate is signed, though, because I do have a tendency to change my mind.
I told both names ahead of time and will probably do the same this time. I like being able to call the baby by name as soon as I decide on the right name. People will make comments if they are going to no matter if you tell them before the baby is born or holding the baby in front of them. I probably wouldn’t discuss a short list though, because people seem to feel like they have an opinion that should count even though this is not their baby. I suppose it could be fun to wait and make it a surprise though!
I used to disclose our baby names, but I will never do it again. With [name]Aidan[/name], I got yelled out for not using my grandfather’s name. With [name]Ava[/name] I had to change our combo to avoid being close with a friend of mine who was also having a girl and decided she was moving back. We don’t even speak now. With [name]Remy[/name] every name I had on my list they shredded to pieces until I finally stopped talking about it with anybody. I was sooooooo mad I didn’t even share the name I decided on with my husband even until after the baby was born. That sounds really bad, but I only had a week between point A where I stopped talking about it to point B where he arrived a little bit earlier than expected. With [name]Mia[/name] we waited until the baby shower before we announced it, and that was only because nobody else I knew was pregnant at the time. Before the shower we were referring to the baby as “[name]Little[/name] [name]Zebulon[/name] or Zebulina” to screw with them.
I will never give them the opportunity to spoil a name for me again. You name forums and communities are the ONLY group I discuss names with and feel kindred to
I don’t have kids yet, but when I do, I don’t plan on telling anyone outside of my SO and maybe a few trusted people who can keep a secret until the baby is born, just in case I change my mind. If anyone else asks, I’ll probably use a decoy name, like gigigibbons.
I don’t have kids, either, but if I do I won’t tell anyone the name or the gender before they’re born. I realize I’m in the minority on this, but I’d rather preserve the surprise.
It has nothing to do with ‘name-stealing’, for me. I just find it weird to be talking about ‘little [name]Walter[/name]’ (or whoever) before he’s even born. I can’t put my finger on it, just a personal thing!
I have decided to keep the name a secret until birth, unfortunately my husband likes to spill the beans! And told our family that we were thinking of the names [name]Savannah[/name] and [name]Violet[/name]. Well just like I expected - everyone had something negative to say. The older generation preferred [name]Violet[/name] while the younger ones liked [name]Savannah[/name]. [name]Even[/name] though I know I shouldn’t care , I do, I was a bit discouraged but have decided to stick to either name and not tell anyone not even my husband !
P.s. My husband loves both names so he’ll be fine knowing until the baby is born - he fills out the birth certificate anyways.
I don’t keep it a secret. I don’t care if anyone likes the name we choose or not. Considering how long it took to decide last time, the next one might end up being named at the hospital!
No one knew the exact combinations we were going to use for either child until they were already born.