By ‘safe’ I mean that I have a list of girl and boy names, but I’ve taken off all the names from my short list that I believe will create a stir in my family and get weird looks. I love loads I’ve taken off but I don’t know if I can be bothered to put up with the odd looks I’d get from my family when I do have children and my future DH agrees with them. When I told my aunt and sister about names I liked, I got to [name_f]Arabella[/name_f] and they both looked at me odd and my aunt even asked what ‘it’ was. So I replaced it with [name_f]Isabella[/name_f].
Are yours ‘safe’ or not?
Any stories about mums using names they loved that were not ‘safe’ names (aka the top 100 or so, exc. a few names) but that their family learned to love?
My loved ones opinions really took weight when we were deciding on our daughter’s name, but we would never have taken names out because of them. If we really loved the name enough, it would have stuck and they’d have learnt to love it! As it was, I got so upset - it seemed like everyone had a thousand horrible opinions for every name I liked, “I knew an [name_f]Erin[/name_f] in school, I heard she does adult videos now”, “[name_u]Seth[/name_u] is a grumpy old man name” - that we ended up telling everyone we were calling the baby Detective Inspector, and we held to it too. It became like the bump nickname to us, but for everyone else, we were preparing to welcome Detective Inspector T******. When she was born, we could have announced her name as literally anything else and they’d have been relieved After all, [name_f]Brianna[/name_f] doesn’t sound so bad to the worst critics after Detective Inspector and my grandmother hated the name [name_f]Brianna[/name_f] with a burning passion. She loves it now.
That’s funny, my name is [name_f]Erin[/name_f]! Well it’s [name_f]Eryn[/name_f], but still haha. I think I may do the bump thing when I get pregnant in the future and just say it’s called something totally bizarre so when the actual name is revealed they’ll be like “phew!”
It’s very funny that I stumbled upon this article, because I was just having this conversation with my FI last night. I was telling him that I think I narrowed down my choices of names to weed out any that get me odd looks or comments. I love really old, clunky, dusty, vintage names for both boys and girls: [name_f]Agatha[/name_f], [name_f]Agnes[/name_f], [name_f]Cordelia[/name_f], [name_f]Beatrice[/name_f], [name_f]Theodora[/name_f], [name_f]Tabitha[/name_f], [name_f]Winifred[/name_f], etc. and all of those names always gave me some serious side-eye, if not outright comments. [name_m]Even[/name_m] names like [name_f]Olive[/name_f] and [name_f]Matilda[/name_f] got me weird looks. Eventually, I found myself gravitating towards more “socially acceptable” names. Names that were still gorgeous and somewhat uncommon, but a little higher on the popularity scale (maybe closer to #600 than not even present out of 1000 names).
I finally found a name that’s gotten me nothing but praise since I started casually mentioning it and I will admit, it does feel better than the appalled stares. I can’t help it, but what my close friends and family think really does matter to me when naming my baby.
When my sister announced the birth and name of her daughter, everyone thought it was a joke. They actually seriously said to each other “Really? Is that the real name?” but within 6 months everyone loved it! (And they recall their initial reactions even now and say how silly of was!)
My advice for when actual babies are to be named is not to discuss your names with family members and choose whatever favourites you and your partner want. For now, add any ‘weird’ and wonderful names you want to your shortlist!
I’m sure our naming choices will get weird looks, but my family’s opinion has no weight on our naming choices. It’s solely between my husband and I, and I don’t think we’ll share the name until after the baby is born just to save on drama
People can be a little standoffish to names that they’re not familiar with (especially if they’re not name nerds) but they get accustomed to the name. My husbands cousin had a daughter named Tymber ([name_u]Timber[/name_u]) and while I’m still not a huge fan, I don’t despise it like I did when they first announced it. Everyone has different styles so even the most basic names can get you weird looks, so just like what you like and own it!
Thank you all! I’m definitely just going to add the names back that I adore and when it does get to that time in my life when I do start a family, nobody except me and the father are going to know anything about what I want to name my child! It also doesn’t help that my sister, who already has a little family, took my favourite boy name and named her son it ([name_u]Noah[/name_u]) and loves my favourite girl name ([name_f]Isabella[/name_f], yes I know, they’re both stupidly popular)… And she’s way ahead of me with her family-making! So, I’m going to use that as an excuse and if they moan, blame my sister who took my names.
I said I was naming her Kiwi. I knew better than to tell her real name but I didn’t want to be one of those obnoxious (sorry for anyone here who does it!) people who “keep it a secret” until birth. They’re usually quite smug about it and it drives me bonkers…especially when the baby ends up named [name_f]Emma[/name_f]. Like oooooh you really surprised us!
I discuss names with my sisters and a few friends but I never share my top favorites. It’s not so much about them hating it as it’s about them stealing it!
It took a while for my family to get used to my daughter’s name. I had to keep explaining that [name_f]Noemi[/name_f] is the Spanish version of [name_f]Naomi[/name_f]. Of course, they had never heard [name_f]Noemi[/name_f] and were having trouble pronouncing it. My father and brother were giving me a hard time about [name_f]Xochitl[/name_f]. My dad said, “she’s never going to be able to spell that. You should just give her the middle name [name_u]Lynn[/name_u]” I still get weird looks from people when I say her middle name, but I don’t care because it is beautiful.
I think I “safe” my names before even adding them onto the list. Names I think will be too out there I won’t put on. But that happens very seldom. Being Greek, I’m used to hearing strange names (my name isn’t even English) so names I think are normal, like [name_u]Artemis[/name_u] and [name_f]Ariadne[/name_f], are weird to people. I don’t share my lists with many people, and when I am pregnant I won’t share the name with family so I don’t have to worry about their opinions. I wouldn’t pick something crazy for my children anyway. I don’t cut all names off my list that may get some looks, but at the same time I wouldn’t be cruel to my kid. It’s all a balance. I wouldn’t say my list is safe, but I wouldn’t say I just put everything on there either. All the names on my list are loved by me and are usable [name_f]IMO[/name_f].
Until recently, yes, I have thought about what the people around me would think of the names I really love but are rather offbeat and have locked quite a few away in the GP zone due to it. Those little beauties are slowly creeping on out of their cages lately, and I’m loving it! I’m tired of worrying about what others think!
[name_m]Just[/name_m] before my niece was born – 12 years ago now – my sister announced her name, and everyone thought it was such a heavy, ‘old-lady’ name and couldn’t possibly imagine it on a young girl. It’s so interesting really, because the name is so ubiquitous and modern-sounding now (be it the name itself, or as nickname), and certainly not dated! The name? [name_f]Bella[/name_f] [name_f]Rose[/name_f]!
The names I would use for children are those I genuinely believe would not make their lives easier by (hopefully) avoiding eye-brow raises, consistent misspellings, etc. Yes - I think family reaction would also come into that.
If I ever do have kids, I don’t think I’ll really mind what my friends and family say, or at least, not for long. In the end it’s about the baby and not the name it has been given. But even so, I still have two name lists. One list is for combos that I absolutely love and would use in a heartbeat if no one would be opinionated and judging (those are the names in my sig). But I know that will never happen do I have a separate list with mostly the same names but the combos have been toned down a bit to be less unusual. I don’t think my family will expect me to go for something very popular when/if the time comes. But I’ll still aim for a look of pleasant surprise more than utter shock.
My mum turns her nose up at almost every name on my list, but, I think she expects my list to be as vintage and dusty as it is! My best friend has disliked quite a few on my list, but learned to like them. However, I’ve come to realise that it’s not about what other people like, the only names I need to add to my list are the ones that I like
I don’t, simply because I know I’d regret using the “safe” version when I really love something else. Having grown up with my last initial tacked onto my first name (I’m an 80s [name_u]Jess[/name_u]), I always swore my children would never have a top 50 name.
From my signature (my current top names) -
[name_u]Bellamy[/name_u] is outside the top 1000
[name_f]Coraline[/name_f] is 714
[name_f]Isla[/name_f] is my most popular at 167 (DH loves it)
[name_f]Rosemary[/name_f] is 533
Theoren is outside the top 1000
[name_m]Abel[/name_m] is 179
[name_m]Booker[/name_m] is outside the top 1000
[name_m]Gibson[/name_m] is 823
If anything I make the effort to have unusual names. Our dogs odd name grew on the “grandparents” so I’m sure an unusual baby name will too
Generally I try to keep the names on my “first names” list kind of safe, I guess, but not from family or friends, just in general. Choosing a first name, I wouldn’t go with anything really popular or anything unheard of or anything with a youneek spelling. That said, I don’t think my or my husband’s families would be at all surprised if we gave our hypothetical children semi-unusual names - I think they think of us as kind of eccentric sometimes; they know we read a lot; they know we love to travel; they know that I especially am really interested in different languages and some of them know that I’m super interested in names in particular; so if we came up with names that they weren’t terribly familiar with, I don’t think they’d be shocked. If we were ever considering a name that I was concerned would be too difficult for a child to wear, my concern would be more, “will s/he have to correct people’s spellings at every turn?” rather than, “will my mom/mother-in-law/etc. think this is crazy?”
I will say that there are some names I’ve liked really well that I just have taken out of consideration because they might cause a stir in my family, but they’re names of other family members that my immediate family doesn’t get along with, and there’s one name of an ex-girlfriend of my brother’s that I feel is kind of off-limits - it’s a lovely name that I’d probably otherwise consider, but I’d hate to announce that I’d had a daughter and named her this because I imagine everyone would think “you named her WHAT?” before they’d think, “YAAAAAAAAAAY!”
Also, I’ll add my vote to the keeping-the-name-between-me-and-my-husband-until-the-child-is-born camp. I imagine I wouldn’t 100% settle on a name before meeting the child anyway, but I’d definitely keep the shortlist a secret because I hate when I think people are talking about me behind my back and I feel that would be likely to happen if I said, “we’re thinking about _____ and ____ and _____” in advance.
I’m now on the hunt to find the names I used to love. Sounds daft, but once I kept getting odd looks after sharing my favourite names with family members, I sieved through my lists and just removed the names I knew wouldn’t be accepted right away. This was over a year ago so I’ve kind of just ‘moved on’ from my old loves.
This has never really been a concern of mine. I haven’t actually shared my list with hardly anyone, so I don’t know what the reactions would be. I guess some of the really ethnic names that I love have to stay on my guilty pleasure list (I am really into [name_m]French[/name_m] names but I have no [name_m]French[/name_m] ancestry whatsoever), like [name_m]Croix[/name_m], [name_u]Roux[/name_u], and [name_m]Deveraux[/name_m]. I have a really eccentric cousin who has five children named [name_m]Lance[/name_m], [name_m]Drake[/name_m], [name_m]Zane[/name_m], [name_m]Soren[/name_m], and [name_u]Sage[/name_u], and I know my family couldn’t stop talking about how “weird” the names were. I was secretly applauding her for her taste in names AND her boldness in going with the names she loved. I really just don’t want to share my names, not because they might criticize the choices, but rather for fear that a family member or close friend will steal my names haha