So I have just a little over 4 weeks to go and I am having serious cold feet about our baby girl’s name. We chose the name [name]Evelyn[/name] for our 4th baby (2nd girl) and I loved the name, I seriously did. It was my first suggestion and my husband originally vetoed it, so I feel I should be happy I won in the end. But now I just don’t know. I don’t know if it’s because I am mourning the names I love that I’ll never get to use, I have a list of about 12 that I feel really sad that I’ll never get to use. Or maybe it’s because my husband agreed to the name under such bizarre circumstances, that it doesn’t feel right to use it. I have never felt like this with any of my other kids names, I’m not quite sure how to deal with it. Does anyone have any tips on how to get through this.
By the way my husband is impossible to get to talk to about names, he despises the naming task whole heartedly. He keeps telling me we have ages… 4 weeks doesn’t feel like a lot of time. So even if we do name her [name]Evelyn[/name], she still has no middle name because I can’t get him to discuss it.
We threw around the idea of [name]Evelyn[/name] [name]Iris[/name] for a little while after his grandmother who died just before [name]Christmas[/name]. But I’m not in love with how it flows and having cold feet about that too. I feel I want to find a name I love more… but that feels a little selfish at the same time. So I don’t know what to do with her middle name either. HELP! A few combo’s I have thought of are… not really sure on any of them though.
My other kids names are [name]Riley[/name] (b) [name]Jackson[/name] and [name]Piper[/name]. [name]Riley[/name] was mutually agreed on by both of us although not knowing anything about names when he was born I was sad when I realised how popular it was and probably would have chosen different if I could. [name]Jackson[/name] is all my husband, he refused to agree on any name I liked and [name]Jackson[/name] was the choice of his I hated the least. [name]Piper[/name] was mostly me, it was my favourite after DH vetoed all my previous favourites, DH agreed to it but never really loved it. All of their names even though I felt I like we were settling, I never had the cold feet and doubt I have this time. My list currently looks like this:
My husbands list contains
[name]Mackenzie[/name]
[name]Addison[/name]
[name]Maddison[/name]
[name]Alexis[/name]
We do not agree on names and mostly he just refuses to talk about it. I do love [name]Evelyn[/name] but I guess I just keep hoping a name will jump out at me that feels so right and I adore so much. Or maybe I am just searching for that perfect combo to go with [name]Evelyn[/name].
With your other children’s strong, spunky names, I find [name]Evelyn[/name] a little… watery-weak. Sorry!
I find [name]Iris[/name] wonderful, but I know you’re not wild about it. If you throw it in there as a second middle to honor of your mother-in-law, maybe you’d have more leverage on the first name choice. [name]Iris[/name] was a messenger of the gods, associated with rainbows! And irises are such beautiful flowers. Also, you were considering [name]Caroline[/name] to honor a deceased friend…
[name]Juno[/name] [name]Caroline[/name] [name]Iris[/name] ([name]Both[/name] [name]Juno[/name] and [name]Iris[/name] are strong, two-syllable goddess names. [name]Caroline[/name] is a bridge, having both an O and an I, giving the name a bit more delicacy.)
[name]Annabel[/name] [name]Quinn[/name] [name]Iris[/name] (You were considering [name]Annabel[/name] [name]Quinn[/name], which I think is really fun, nice with your other kids’ names. I think [name]Iris[/name] is gorgeous in this combination- it emphasizes [name]Quinn[/name]'s crispness.)
Well I adore [name]Evelyn[/name] to start with. And “[name]Evie[/name]” is such a cute nickname. I think [name]Iris[/name] works fine [name]Evelyn[/name]. I also really like the sound of [name]Evelyn[/name] [name]Blythe[/name].
[name]Love[/name], love, love the middle name [name]Iris[/name] - please use it! I think you should name your girl [name]Paisley[/name].
[name]Paisley[/name] & [name]Piper[/name] make adorable siblings, without being to close. Plus, I think [name]Paisley[/name] is the right amount of unique mixed with trendy.
The nameberry community will absolutely favor your names over your husband’s, but of course it’s not our baby! In real life babies are named by two people, with many conflicting influences.
I think [name]Iris[/name] is wonderful, both because it honors your grandmother-in-law (surely your husband would be on board with that, unless they weren’t close?). It also satisfies your craving for a unique, more deeply rooted name. So, I think [name]Iris[/name] should be in the combination, somehow.
Your other children’s names are modern. [name]Riley[/name], [name]Jackson[/name] and [name]Piper[/name] are all quite popular [which is perfectly fine; popular names are usually popular for a reason]. Since you have three children already, picking something very different for the fourth would really stand out. I like to say, two similarities is a coincidence, but three is a pattern. From your list, I would eliminate the vintage-y choices: [name]Stella[/name], [name]Imogen[/name], [name]Juno[/name], [name]Amelie[/name], [name]Charlotte[/name] and [name]Annabel[/name]. [name]Evelyn[/name] too.
A name that ends on a consonant would sound best with [name]Iris[/name]:
[name]Scarlett[/name] [name]Iris[/name] [though this is problematic as scarlet is a color and iris is a thing, so it sounds like a description rather than a name]
[name]Meredith[/name] [name]Iris[/name]
[name]Arden[/name] [name]Iris[/name]
[name]Aislinn[/name] [name]Iris[/name]
[name]Seren[/name] [name]Iris[/name] [again, ‘star flower’ or ‘star rainbow’ or ‘star part of the eye’ is a little problematic]
From his list, nearly all pair with [name]Iris[/name] quite nicely.
[name]Iris[/name] [name]Mackenzie[/name]
[name]Addison[/name] [name]Iris[/name]
[name]Iris[/name] [name]Alexa[/name] [not [name]Alexis[/name], they rhyme]
I give you credit! This is a hard one. I’d be tempted to keep [name]Iris[/name]! Kids like a naming story, and it’s a lovely name. However, it isn’t a great fit with anything on the list… [name]Evelyn[/name] isn’t the perfect fit either, with your other kids’ names. Lacks some of their energy and tailoredness…
[name]Meredith[/name] is a great fit, [name]IMO[/name]! [name]Meredith[/name] [name]Iris[/name] isn’t bad…[name]Seren[/name] would probably be my second choice. [name]Seren[/name] [name]Iris[/name] is pretty and actually fits your husband’s tailored taste, but I doubt he’ll jump on something like that now.
If you go with [name]Evelyn[/name], I’d be tempted to call her [name]Evie[/name]. It seems to work better in your sibset. Looking at both your lists, I could really see [name]Adaire[/name], but it doesn’t work with [name]Iris[/name] either!
I don’t feel I’ve been much help, but I’m a little stumped. Sorry!
Thanks for your responses. I like a few of your suggestions. [name]Love[/name] the combo [name]Juno[/name] [name]Caroline[/name] [name]Iris[/name] but I know that DH would never go for it. Also love [name]Annabel[/name] [name]Quinn[/name] [name]Iris[/name], have more of a chance of DH getting on board with that. [name]Meredith[/name] is a pet favourite of mine so I could quite happily go with that. DH likes the idea of honouring his grandmother but he doesn’t like the name [name]Iris[/name] so he’s pretty much 50/50 when it comes to including it. Many people have said [name]Evelyn[/name] [name]Iris[/name] sounds fine together but I just feel it is a little clunky with our surname W aldron.
I think I need to explain the reason why we chose the name [name]Evelyn[/name] because the story plays a huge part in the choice but it’s a little out there so I have hesitated talking about it. Okay short version. My mother is a psychic medium. I am a sceptic. I do not discuss names we are even considering with family at all because their opinions annoy me. At [name]Christmas[/name] my family was informing us what names to pick for baby. We politely nodded and smiled with no intention of considering any of them. But I did say to my husband we need to get serious about discussing names (he previously was reluctant to talk about it) Anyway my mother who had not been apart of the conversation until now suddenly says. Have you considered the name [name]Evelyn[/name]. I reluctantly told her it was a name on my list but DH didn’t like it. My mother says well she just told me my name is [name]Evelyn[/name], call me [name]Evie[/name]. So that was that, DH was so freaked out he agreed to [name]Evelyn[/name] (A name he previously told me how much he hated and would never consider) and we haven’t really talked about it properly since.
The sceptic in me can’t decide whether it’s a sign she named herself or whether it’s a completely ridiculous reason to decide to name a baby from. Maybe an outsider’s opinion will help here. Ok hopefully you have read this far and don’t think I am crazy and have some suggestions.
I love [name]Meredith[/name] from your list!
[name]Evelyn[/name] is just okay to me, but [name]Evie[/name], [name]Piper[/name], [name]Riley[/name], and [name]Jackson[/name] is a nice set.
It is fabulous to have a story behind your name, and that one is stellar!
Loving the name is of utmost importance, regardless of the family circumstances. Ironically, if you check my comments, I could also picture [name]Evie[/name] best in your sibset and that was before I knew the nn was a consideration. It just works somehow, out of everything you listed. Now that some time has passed and your husband isn’t in the heat of the moment freaked, it probably warrants a conversation as to whether he really likes the name [name]Evelyn[/name]. Good luck!
I doubt this will be any help at all to you but I can’t believe how much the same boat I am in as you. My daughter’s name is [name]Mikayla[/name] and my son is [name]Riley[/name]…our third is due in [name]March[/name] and like you we can’t seem to find the right name…and like you we have also been leaning toward the name [name]Evelyn[/name].
We like [name]Evie[/name] but the only way we found to get to that was through [name]Evelyn[/name]…which kinda has old lady connotations to us now because of how much my mother went on about it sounding like it belonged in a nursing home. Ugh! Now we are considering just using [name]Evie[/name] and skipping the formal name altogether, we aren’t sure though because we haven’t found a name that really fits the style of [name]Mikayla[/name] and [name]Riley[/name]. When we chose their names we didn’t know anyone with them…now we have met several. I am very leary of picking too popular of a name having been one of at least 3 or 4 [name]Kelly[/name]/[name]Kellie[/name]'s in every class I was ever in.
We have also considered [name]Meredith[/name] or [name]Meredy[/name]…and [name]Melody[/name] or [name]Elodie[/name]…
We will be using [name]Eileen[/name] for her middle name regardless. I know this doesn’t help any, but you definitely aren’t alone in your naming struggles and I just had to post something seeing as we have so many things in common with our issues. I really hope you find the name that speaks to you for your little girl. Best of luck.
@courtney-- does your husband believe in your mom’s psychic abilities? Does he feel strong-armed into a name he doesn’t care for?
I do think [name]Meredith[/name] is a wonderful name, and a much better stylistic fit with your other children. If you (and kellie above) would like a modern [name]Evie[/name] long form, what about [name]Ever[/name], [name]Everly[/name], [name]Evanne[/name], or spelling it [name]Evaline[/name]?
Hey [name]Courtney[/name]. Wow. I have some thoughts - take them or leave them.
So I believe that there are many subtle ways of perceiving energy… subtext, gesture, spatial relationships between people, body language and postural patterns that hint at people’s deeply held beliefs, life experiences, and habits. And I know that people can perceive some of these things in ways that aren’t straightforward. The brain looks for symmetry and metaphor and wants to describe an intangible sense, a waft, a smell, as a spirit or an omen… I do not judge. I have gone way far out into weird spiritual experiment land. But I feel that in those circles, psychics, energy-healers, shamans, gurus - there is a LOT of room for ego to get in the way, there is a LOT of manipulation by people who start to believe that they have the power. There’s a vocabulary, a way of framing this stuff - it makes me angry. I think it’s a kind of laziness - it’s nice to be in a position of authority rather than to communicate your subtler feelings in a vulnerable way. Your mom didn’t say, “I have this feeling about the baby… I feel her presence very powerfully and I get such a sense of delicacy and sweetness - I don’t know what it is, but I feel like [name]Evelyn[/name] would be so fitting for her.” She basically said, “Her spirit comes through me. She says her name is [name]Evelyn[/name].” There is SUCH manipulation in that. [name]Even[/name] if she did truly experience the intuition as a “spirit,” it would have been RESPECTFUL of you to communicate that sense to you in a way that allowed space for your own name-choice as the baby’s mother. I work in a field where I make physical observations… lots of them are intuitive. Most of the time I’m right. But I make sure that I stay honest by never believing that I know more about people than they know about themselves, and by never believing that I’m special (my ego or laziness gets in the way sometimes so I need to be extremely vigilant.)
I feel strongly about this, so I’m sorry if I’m being too forceful with my opinion. I’m sure your mother has tons of love for you and the best intentions, but I’d guess that there’s a way in which she’s begun to deceive herself about the observations that she makes, the subtle stuff that she perceives. She said the baby’s name was [name]Evelyn[/name], and now you’re leaning toward [name]Evelyn[/name]… [name]How[/name] would you have responded if your mom said, “I say the baby must be named [name]Evelyn[/name]!” rather than “The baby says her name is [name]Evelyn[/name]”? Would she have gotten her way?
Devil’s advocate: Perhaps she was [name]Evelyn[/name] in a former life? :-b
Bottom line - Your mother got to name you. Now you get to name your own babies. [name]Do[/name] you often let her make these kinds of decisions for you? Was she in the habit of consulting her crystal ball when you were dating people she disliked, wearing too much eyeliner, etc?
Again, sorry to be a little aggressive here. Your story just kind of put my hair on end.
[name]Blade[/name] I don’t know how he really feels about it because it is so hard to get him to discuss names or the name issue in general. I don’t want him to feel that way because this baby was a bit of a surprise, we weren’t planning on having a 4th child and it sent him into shock for awhile. I don’t want to give him a reason to not bond with her because he despises her name. I don’t know where he sits with my mother’s ability. I think he’s a bit of a skeptic like me. I suggested [name]Everly[/name] when he originally vetoed [name]Evelyn[/name] but he didn’t like that either… he’s picky with his trendy names. He didn’t really like any of the [name]Eve[/name]- suggestions. If I went with [name]Meredith[/name] I would possibly use the nickname [name]Edie[/name], that’s similar to [name]Evie[/name].
Emmabobemma - I understand what you are saying and I think that’s where some of my cold feet is coming from, I almost feel like my ability to choose her name has been taken away from me. And no I don’t usually let her make any decisions for me at all. The problem I have now is if we don’t call her [name]Evelyn[/name] my step - father is a bit of a jerk and will spend her whole life telling her that we were supposed to name her [name]Evelyn[/name] and didn’t.
I guess if we did choose another name and she truly grew up believing her name was [name]Evelyn[/name] I could direct her to this site in 20 years and she can get advice on changing it
[name]Just[/name] wanted to chime in that my name is [name]Evangelia[/name] nn [name]Evie[/name]. [name]How[/name] about [name]Evangeline[/name]? I see it around a lot lately.
