Help- Am I Name Stealing?

I need help. My cousin (who is very close) and his wife had a baby last year and named her [name]Kate[/name] [name]Dexter[/name]. [name]Dexter[/name] is my cousin’s father’s middle name so it is a family name to them. My husband and I are expecting a boy in less than 3 months and we both love the name [name]Dexter[/name]. In fact, it’s the only name we both love as our #1 choice. My cousin and his wife live in [name]Boston[/name] and we live in San [name]Francisco[/name]. Would it be rude/ bad/ stealing to name our son [name]Dexter[/name]?

By the way, we love:
• [name]Dexter[/name] [name]Manley[/name] [name]Brown[/name] ([name]Manley[/name] is my mother’s maiden name)
• [name]Dexter[/name] [name]John[/name] [name]Brown[/name] ([name]John[/name] is my cousin’s name so this would be to honor him!)
• [name]Dexter[/name] [name]Martin[/name] [name]Brown[/name]
• [name]Dexter[/name] [name]Frederick[/name] [name]Brown[/name]

We also like [name]Frederick[/name]- but not as much as [name]Dexter[/name] . .
• [name]Frederick[/name] [name]Martin[/name] [name]Brown[/name]
• [name]Frederick[/name] [name]Manley[/name] [name]Brown[/name]
• [name]Frederick[/name] [name]John[/name] [name]Brown[/name]

What are your thoughts?

I would be curious to hear other opinions, but I can’t see that as stealing. If it were her first name, then maybe. But her middle name? And you live on opposite coasts. I would just ask your cousin and explain how it’s the only name you and your husband can both agree on and love. If he goes against the idea, I think he would be being irrational.

No, I don’t see it as name stealing at all. First of all, it’s not like your cousin and his wife own the name. Second, it’s the baby’s middle name, so I don’t see that there would be a problem.

I do not think it is stealing… but if I were you I would talk to them first and see how they feel about it.

Thank you both. This helps me to chill out a little bit about it.

Other options that we’ve seriously considered . .

I like [name]Alexander[/name] and [name]Henry[/name] (but my husband doesn’t).
We also both like [name]Otis[/name].
He likes [name]Miles[/name] and [name]Harvey[/name] ([name]Harvey[/name] is his deceased uncle’s name. My husband already has two boys from his previous marriage named after family members so I want to be different. But I don’t dislike [name]Harvey[/name]).

I’m open to any and all constructive criticism.

That’s not stealing as far as I’m concerned. It’s her middle name, so it’s not like it will ever be confusing if they’re together and she doesn’t own the name just because it’s a family name she used in the middle. I think [name]Dexter[/name] is fantastic and it would be a shame for you not to get to use it. I’m usually a big fan of honoring surnames in the middle, but with [name]Manley[/name] I feel like there could be a bit of teasing if his friends at school caught wind of what his middle name was. [name]Dexter[/name] [name]Frederick[/name] or [name]Dexter[/name] [name]John[/name] get my vote.

[name]Dexter[/name] [name]Harvey[/name] would be really cool as well!

My cousin has a daughter called [name]Brooke[/name]. My [name]Brooke[/name] is older, and honestly I couldn’t care. When I heard I thought they must love the name too.

[name]Just[/name] use it! I wouldn’t even ask. I honestly couldn’t tell you what the middle name of ANY of my cousins children are, and if I found out what they were and they were names I liked then too bad! It’s a middle name.


I agree with pp that it’s not really name stealing. However, if you do talk to them, you have to be prepared to pick something else if they object. I think you cross a line if they object and you use it anyway.

As cousins, the kids might think it’s neat they have a name in common.

I would definitely just talk to them first!

P.S. I love [name]Manley[/name] as a middle! [name]Love[/name] that it is a family name and it sounds so awesome!

I don’t believe anybody owns a name to begin with. That aside, this definitely can’t be considered so-called name stealing as it is their daughter’s middle name, not first name. You are going to use it for your son’s first name. Since you stated you are close to your cousin you should talk to them about it before announcing it. Not to ask for permission but just so they aren’t taken by surprise. [name]Just[/name] say something along the lines of “Hey cuz, I just wanted to let you know that we are naming our son [name]Dexter[/name]. We love it more than any other name and strongly feel that it is the right name for our little boy. Wanetd to let you know first before we announced it since it is [name]Kate[/name]'s middle name.”

I really think you should talk to them. Especially if you’re close. I doubt that they will have an objection - as they’ve already honoured the name by giving it to their little girl as a middle name. And it would make you feel better and not have any guilt (which I guess you must have else you wouldn’t have posted this thread!).

well i dont know me and my cousin are 20 days apart and his name is nick and mine is nikki if i was a boy mine would have been nick as well and we only live an hour away from eachother. its my moms sisters son but my dad picked my name before hearing what they had picked as well haha. me and nick actually dont mind it though we think its kinda fun but thats probably only because one is a boy and one is a girl but since that is the same with your situation it should work out. warning my mom was a little irritated with her sister she has told me lol. and when i think of dexter i think of a) poindexter and b) that tv show about that killer guy

you could play it off like your naming him after her child because you want there to be a bond between them even though they live so far apart