alright, friends. here’s a doozie. a common story but with a twist.
i have an acquaintance with whom i share several friends. she & i are not close & only see each other at functions or sometimes run into each other, but i’d say we’re in the same ‘circle’ of friends. we went to high school together. about a year ago i ran into her at a restaurant & she was about 6 months pregnant & told me that she was having a girl. i asked if she had picked out a name & she told me that they had chosen ‘[name]Marlow[/name]’ & that they loved the name they had picked. she asked if i was planning on having another baby soon, & i told her that we were trying to conceive & were VERY much hoping for a girl because we’ve had a name chosen for YEARS that we’re dying to use for a little girl. i told her that the name has special meaning to me as it’s the name of my maternal grandmother that i’m very close with. she asked what the name was & i told her ‘[name]Nora[/name]’. her baby was born 3 months later…she named the baby ‘[name]Norah[/name]’. it irritated me but i brushed it off & went on with my life. now i’m expecting a girl & i’m desperate to use the name. problem being, my son’s name is [name]Leo[/name]…the same name as her husband (that she married after i had my son). SO if i name my daughter [name]Nora[/name], this girl & i will both have a [name]Nora[/name] & a [name]Leo[/name] in our immediate families, & we have several mutual friends that would notice it & comment on it. i don’t particularly like this girl & would prefer not to be linked with her every time i tell someone my baby’s name! would you still use the name?
[name]Do[/name] you your circle of friends KNOW that you always loved that name? Cause if they do, I doubt they will think you stole it. And if they think you stole it, explain that it’s your grandmother’s name and that’s why you chose it. If you love the name. Then choose it.
It’s your grandmother’s name. Unimpeachable reason to choose it that clearly has nothing to do with this girl. And, if anyone raises eyebrows, you can always relay the tale of [name]Norah[/name]-who-was-once-[name]Marlow[/name].
Use the name! [name]Don[/name]'t think twice about. It is a name that you love and it is very meaningful. This isn’t a family member or even a best friend… it’s some rando friend of a friend. Use the name… everyone is going to have the same name as jim bob and his distant brother and if you nix every name you hear from a person of a friend of a friend you will have no names left.
The mere fact that it’s your grandmother’s name means you had it first. If you’re that worried about it, you just have to say, “this is our daughter, [name]Nora[/name]. We named her after my grandmother.”
Use it! You told her you were going to use it so she can’t get mad about it or anything. If anything, it makes her look like the odd one in your group of friends for “stealing” the name from you, especially once they know the story.
On an additional note, your story completely irks me. I would be completely pissed off if a friend did that to me!
I have a cousin much like your friend. My cousin, [name]Jaimee[/name], was 2 months pregnant when our other cousin [name]Mindee[/name], the one like your friend, found out that she was pregnant. [name]Jaimee[/name] knew before she became pregnant that if it was a boy, she would name him [name]Kaidan[/name]. Once [name]Jaimee[/name] found out that she was, infact, having a boy, she decided then and there on the name. A few months later [name]Mindee[/name] found out that she was also having a boy, and declared his name [name]Kaidan[/name] as well. After [name]Mindee[/name] effectively POed everyone, she redeclared his name [name]Travis[/name], the name of her 9 year old nephew. After ticking off everyone, again, she once again declared his name [name]Kaidan[/name]. [name]Jaimee[/name] had her son in [name]December[/name], and, like she always said, named him [name]Kaidan[/name]. A month later, [name]Mindee[/name] had her son, and ended up naming him [name]Walker[/name]. Our circumstances didn’t end as bad as yours since [name]Mindee[/name] changed the name, but I still know how you feel about someone close (or atleast someone your know) to you taking a name you were already decided on.
That being said, I would still use the name you love. It’s a family name, and one you were already decided on. If anyone wants to say anything about you both having a girl with the same name or the fact that you both have a [name]Nora/name and [name]Leo[/name] in your families, you have the upper hand in knowing that she only changed her mind on [name]Marlow[/name] after hearing the name [name]Nora[/name] from you. I know from personal experience that people tend to frown upon the person who ‘stole’ the name. [name]Even[/name] though you can’t really ‘steal’ a name, non name nerds often feel the same as name nerds about using names that people close to them had already decided on.
If it does really bother you though, you could always use something like [name]Eleanor[/name] or [name]Eleanora[/name], and use the nickname [name]Nora[/name].