I’m actually leaning towards [name_m]Jabez[/name_m]. You have a big family, a particular style you enjoy and naming patterns on top of that. It’s not surprising there’s some overlap. Sélah and [name_f]Shiloh[/name_f] are a little similar too. It happens. I don’t think the ‘o’ pattern will be terribly missed because the choice is anchored by much more compelling reasons.
[name_f][/name_f]I’m particularly drawn to your desire to create balance with the decision making by factoring in your husband’s favourite. That would be an important consideration for me as well. I also just feel [name_m]Jabez[/name_m] complements your children’s names better than [name_m]Tekoa[/name_m] which feels a lot less familiar and more ambiguous in origin.
[name_f][/name_f]What nicknames have you been thinking of? Ez or Ezi would create a greater distinction between your sons. Although [name_m]Jay[/name_m], [name_m]Jeb[/name_m], [name_f]Jez[/name_f], [name_m]Jazz[/name_m], [name_m]Jack[/name_m] (from Kephas) and so on would still work to varying degrees with [name_m]Joby[/name_m]. It might depend on how frequently you use nicknames.
[name_f][/name_f]I would go for one middle name personally. This is largely personal preference and what I’m used to, but also because I think the weight of the middle name feels diluted when it is shared with other middle names.
[name_f][/name_f]I also think there’s something to be said for approaching this baby’s name decision as you have all the others – although changing your approach for the circumstance is entirely reasonable. But with your first, second and third child, you probably never thought about using your other favourite names in case it’s the last baby you have. I get that you will leave behind some favourites, and being inevitable doesn’t mean it doesn’t feel sad. I just like the optimism and openness of sticking with one middle name, and seeing what happens in the future.
[name_f][/name_f]I feel a lot more conflicted with your girl options. Ultimately, I want to get behind Jaél [name_f]Agape[/name_f] because it’s your very top favourite and you’re united in loving it. [name_m]Loving[/name_m] a name and it feeling right for your family are the best reasons for facing the pain and challenges of different pronunciations. You’ve probably already experienced it some degree already with Amaré and [name_m]Job[/name_m].
[name_f][/name_f]A nickname might help you out in situations where you don’t want to expend the effort of teaching the pronunciation. Although you might have to get creative if you want something other than [name_m]Jae[/name_m] or [name_f]Elle[/name_f]. But if you go with this choice, she will have a small army (your family) to teach the pronunciation alongside her, and with some patience and generosity I’m sure it will be fine in the end.
[name_f][/name_f]I’m wondering if Jaél is the name that’s been getting unwelcome comments by a family member? If so, you could look at it as a trial of sorts, one you could persevere through and feel stronger on the other side, or decide it’s not worth the struggle.
[name_f][/name_f][name_f]Hadassah[/name_f] is a beautiful name but one I don’t
[name_f][/name_f]think I’d use as a non-Jewish person. I know it isn’t straightforward and there are many nuanced perspectives on the topic of Jewish names and names that overlap with [name_m]Christian[/name_m] usage. But for this name, I would be on the side of appreciating without using.
I hope this helps clarifies some things for you or gets you closer to a decision. All the best!