HELP! :( Baby name remorse!

First, you are all beyong amazing to me for your thoughtfulness in this. [name]Just[/name] wondering anyone’s thoughts, what style name would you say [name]Jillian[/name] is? I tend to go for an older more classic name, but I did like [name]Jillian[/name] enough at some point to actually write it on the birth certificate. What names do you think have a similar style to [name]Jillian[/name]?

For some reason [name]Gretchen[/name] and [name]Bridget[/name] were the first names that came to mind (both names that I like, BTW), though I think [name]Jillian[/name] is not as ‘harsh’ as either of those.

I think of it as being spunky, feminine, and slightly offbeat. It’s actually grown on me as a result of this thread!

You are reminding me a lot of myself in terms of second-guessing yourself. One thing to keep in mind, there are VERY few names that everyone loves. So no matter what you picked not everyone would like it.

[name]Adrienne[/name]
[name]Annika[/name]
[name]Anwen[/name]
[name]Avalon[/name]
[name]Bronwen[/name]
[name]Cameron[/name]
[name]Caroline[/name]
[name]Catherine[/name]
[name]Cecily[/name] - because it’s so English sounding
[name]Damara[/name]
[name]Daphne[/name] - ditto
[name]Evelyn[/name]
[name]Gwendolyn[/name] nn [name]Gwen[/name]
[name]Gwenyth[/name]
[name]Imogen[/name]
[name]Jessamyn[/name] - this really reminds me of [name]Jillian[/name]
[name]Josephine[/name]
[name]Lillian[/name]
[name]Melantha[/name]
[name]Meredith[/name]
[name]Melisende[/name] or [name]Melisande[/name], don’t know how to pronounce either
[name]Penelope[/name] - also sounds so English
[name]Rachael[/name] - I nearly named my daughter [name]Jillian[/name], and I also nearly named her [name]Rachael[/name] [name]Meredith[/name].
[name]Rebecca[/name] - I love [name]Rebecca[/name]!
[name]Rosamond[/name]
[name]Samantha[/name]
[name]Serena[/name]
[name]Tabitha[/name]
[name]Tamasin[/name]
[name]Vivian[/name] nn [name]Vivi[/name]!
[name]Winnifred[/name]

I second [name]Sarah[/name] and [name]Susan[/name]. In no way do I put [name]Jillian[/name] with names like Mikayluh or [name]Addison[/name]. Not even close!

I think of perky high-energy names, too, like [name]Lucy[/name], [name]Daisy[/name], [name]Hope[/name], [name]Mae[/name]/[name]Maisie[/name], [name]Blythe[/name], [name]Annabelle[/name] (totally [name]Annabelle[/name]), [name]Phoebe[/name], [name]Rosalie[/name] (not exactly high-energy), [name]Ruby[/name], [name]Stella[/name] (not exactly high-energy), etc. [name]Bridget[/name] was actually the first name that popped into my mind! :slight_smile:

Good luck! :slight_smile:

[name]Jill[/name], your comment about liking the [name]Gillian[/name] spelling in theory kind of hits head on with how I feel about it. Plus my whole reasoning in choosing [name]Jillian[/name] was to use a “J” name.
I actually like the other names that you all are saying could be similar in style to [name]Jillian[/name], so maybe it’s more of a name style I like than I thought. I just don’t want her to have a name that sounds too “made up” or bubblegum eighties teenish. Like a Mikayluh or a [name]Stacey[/name], these are just a different style of name than I tend to like. You are all really so great for helping me out with this…lots of folks can’t quite get losing any sleep over a name! Thank you, thank you!

I know I can only truly speak for myself, but I just know that everyone posting here completely understands what you’re talking about. You needed a J name, chose [name]Jillian[/name] without really thinking about its style, and now feel completely panicked and remorseful about your choice. It’s completely understandable, and I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this now!

I personally think it’s really important that you love your daughter’s name, because you’re going to be saying it and hearing it multiple times a day for the rest of your life! If you’re not happy with it, there’s no shame in changing it, and it’s certainly not a crime. You’re not the first person this has happened to, and you won’t be the last.

As a [name]Jill[/name], I did wish I were a [name]Jillian[/name], because [name]Jill[/name] was so short. It is a very perky name, but for me, it’s not of the bubblegum-chomping teenager variety. [name]Jill[/name] is actually a classic name ([name]Julias[/name] were called [name]Jill[/name] in [name]Roman[/name] times), but it definitely doesn’t have the feel of [name]Julia[/name], [name]Charlotte[/name], etc. Like [name]Jillian[/name], [name]Jill[/name] is a high-energy name, and while it works with other high-energy names, I completely get what you’re saying about [name]Jill[/name]/[name]Jillian[/name] not having a distinct style. I suppose I’ve always considered its style to simply be a “high-energy” name.

I would never in a million years put [name]Jillian[/name] in the same vicinity as a Makayluh or Addysynne. NEVER! That said, it’s your opinion that counts, and if you’re really bothered by [name]Jillian[/name], I don’t think there’s anything wrong with changing it to a name you love as much as you love your baby girl. I think your baby should have a name that you love saying and hearing. A name that fills you with pride, not regret.

If you want to keep [name]Jillian[/name], that’s great, and if not, that’s great, too. Either way, we’re here for you! :slight_smile:

(I bet your little [name]Jillian[/name] is darling!) :slight_smile:

She’s a very smiley spunky kid. We originally wrote [name]Katherine[/name] [name]Genevieve[/name] on her birth certificate. My whole pregnancy I tried and tried to love a J name, but couldn’t completely sell myself on any. I put tremendous pressure on myself to name with a J. My whole life my grandma was [name]Janet[/name] to me, but we found her name was originally [name]Genowefa[/name] (Polish, which translates to [name]Genevieve[/name]). This was on her birth certificate, but on her driver’s license ect, and to me, she was always [name]Janet[/name].

I went into the hospital for a scheduled c section with no name for my baby. I knew she was going to be a girl though. Names that my husband and could both agree on were [name]Claire[/name], [name]Charlotte[/name], [name]Katherine[/name], and then there was [name]Jillian[/name]. My intent was to make [name]Genevieve[/name] her middle name, though I kind of had a thing for [name]Charlotte[/name] [name]Jane[/name]. [name]Claire[/name], though a beautiful name, felt weird for me to call a baby, even though now I still quite like it. I didn’t feel brave enough for [name]Charlotte[/name], and also feared it could become too popular and trendy. I felt safe with [name]Katherine[/name], I planned to call her [name]Kate[/name], and I was so in love with [name]Genevieve[/name] as her middle name. We wrote in on the birth certificate and were ready to take her home, but when I called my mom to pick us up she sounded so disappointed in our name choice. I panicked and asked for the birth certificate back and changed it to [name]Jillian[/name]. I didn’t want to disappoint my mom, and I was do indecisive about her name anyway I could hardly think. Her middle name is [name]Paige[/name]. I sometimes feel self concise when people ask her name. I didn’t send a birth announcement out until a couple weeks ago and she was born in [name]March[/name], and as much as it has to do with being busy moving into a new house, I also think sub concisely this had to do some with my unrest about her name. I hate to put up a last name on this lest someone could look it up and find it, but our last name is Greenberg. So I’m holding a smiley squealing [name]Jillian[/name] [name]Paige[/name] Greenberg, but am really grieving the [name]Genevieve[/name] and feel [name]Kate[/name] Greenberg is a pretty nice name, less self concise. I don’t want her to hesitate when telling people her name.

I know this is silly, but this is really eating away at my heart. I’m inclined to change it, but my husband is horrified by the idea. In the back of my mind I also wonder, will she grow up and say I liked [name]Jillian[/name] better? Or maybe she’d say thanks for changing it! [name]Even[/name] if we do have another daughter one day, this was my one chance to use [name]Genevieve[/name] and to honor my grandma and I’m feeling sad I let it go.

[name]Hi[/name] there! I’ sorry you’re going through this, I think everyone here understands your dillema and doesn’t think you the least bit silly. Only you know what’s in your heart, but it sounds to me as though [name]Katherine[/name] [name]Genevieve[/name] may be the name you truly love. It was your first choice, and they always say to “go with your gut”. I also think that using your grandmother’s name as a middle name is just as meaningful a tribute to her as using a name with the same initial. I think both of your choices are lovely, and that whatever you decide will suit her perfectly. I don’t think your daughter would resent either name.

I feel your pain! I went through the same sort of baby name remorse with my first daughter almost 5 years ago. At six months of age, I had her name changed on the birth certificate. It was the best decision ever. I found a peace with being able to change it to something I loved and then be proud of my daughter’s name. We changed both the first and middle name to something compeletly different. My husband came to terms with the change when he found out how important it was to me. Now, he can’t imagine her with a different name…we all adjusted just fine. Nothing is wrong with changing your daughter’s name. You should feel no shame. As new moms, we all learn as we go. I really think you should go with [name]Katherine[/name] [name]Genevieve[/name] if that is the name that is in your heart…it’s gorgeous! [name]Kate[/name] will be a precious nickname that will transition well through adulthood. [name]Genevieve[/name] will truly honor your grandmother. [name]Katherine[/name] [name]Genevieve[/name] is sophisticated, timeless, and has significant meaning. Go with your heart’s desire and follow your “mother’s instinct”. My advice is to not wait until she is 6 months old. Change is better sooner than later. Make the decision now and the adjustment will be even easier for you than it was for me. [name]May[/name] your family be blessed and God give you a peace!

I also love [name]Katherine[/name] because of the “K” significance. It appears that your name is [name]Kimberly[/name] and I think it would be special for your daughter to give her a “K” name like Mommy. At the same time, I think [name]Genevive[/name] more obviously honors your grandmother with her authentic name than just coming up with a “J” name. The meanings of [name]Katherine[/name] (pure) and [name]Genevieve[/name] (lady of the people) are lovely.

Best wishes!

Wow, you’re unhappy and you are eating everyone else’s disappointment. I know there are two ways out is to either not dwell on it and go forward with [name]Jillian[/name], or take these important people to you and explain to them, and hopefully they will understand, but you just need to do what you need to do, and change her name to [name]Katherine[/name] [name]Genevieve[/name]. Unless they mean to bar you physically from doing so, they will really have to get over it eventually. Who should get over it, them or you?

I worry about your husband more than your mother. That is the tough one. He should support you if you are reasonable and need to go ahead and make the change. I don’t understand “horrified.” Your mother would or should not have such a big influence, you can do what you need to do and let her adjust. Good luck.

I am so heartbroken for you and can completely relate. Given the drama and panic around the last-minute switch, no wonder you are so torn up about this. I had a C-section too, was in a complete fog for days afterwards, and waited until we were checking out of the hospital to commit to the name [name]Laura[/name], and even then it’s because I couldn’t come up with anything better that my husband would agree to. I think I thought I would have some sort of epiphany when I saw her as to what her name should be, but if anything, I was in such a drugged-out stressed-out fog that I was not thinking clearly and was in no position to be making such a big decision in that state. Now, I would always advise somebody to settle on the name before going to the hospital.

The difference for me is that to this day there is not a specific name where I’m like, oh, we could have used that and I regret that we didn’t.

But for you, if [name]Katherine[/name] [name]Genevieve[/name] is what you think her name is or should be, and that is what you wish you had named her. then it’s definitely not too late to change. It sounds like it has more meaning for YOU than [name]Jillian[/name]. You should be prepared for the possibility of more drama though if you do decide to change it (though, not knowing any of the people involved, I’m just speculating).

Now, on the topics on names alone, putting aside whatever meaning they may have for you (which is really all that matters), I happen to like [name]Jillian[/name] just as much as if not more than [name]Katherine[/name]. I think [name]Jillian[/name] has more character and is more unique.

[name]Katherine[/name] is one of the few other names my husband and I both could agree on, it is even my own grandmother’s name. But to me, [name]Katherine[/name] nn [name]Kate[/name] is just the ultimate generic name and safe choice. You can’t go wrong with it – but [name]Kate[/name] Greenberg will always be known as [name]Kate[/name] Greenberg, never just [name]Katherine[/name] or [name]Kate[/name]. (As a [name]Sarah[/name] [name]Wilson[/name], I have always been referred to by my full name for my entire life, even my husband calls me [name]Sarah[/name] [name]Wilson[/name] when he is referring to me in the third person). She would be one of many Kates in her class, from kindergarden through college and beyond, whereas she likely will always be one of very few Jillians If she is spunky and happy, [name]Jillian[/name] is spunkier than [name]Katherine[/name]. I also do not care for the nn [name]Katie[/name].

[name]Paige[/name] is a name that I adore and that we would have used ourselves if it had gone with my husband’s last name.

None of this is to sway you one way or the other. And if you had your heart set on a name, then it is really not too late!

ETA: One othe option is to change the middle name from [name]Paige[/name] to [name]Genevieve[/name] since that is the name you seem to most regret not using. Or, you could change the first name to [name]Genevieve[/name].

Oh, I’m so sorry to hear the pressure you felt to change [name]Katherine[/name] [name]Genevieve[/name]'s name to [name]Jillian[/name] [name]Paige[/name]. I can feel your pain, and it breaks my heart! I wish we could all give you a big hug! :slight_smile: Like everyone has said, [name]Jillian[/name] is most certainly not a Mikayluh, but what’s most important is what you think about the name.

You had [name]Katherine[/name] [name]Genevieve[/name] chosen to honor your grandmother (and I think it’s gorgeous…[name]Genevieve[/name] is one of my all-time favorites, and I love [name]Katherine[/name], too), and you understandably felt guilty and wanted to please your mom.

I guess the way I look at it, is that she had a chance to name her babies, and this is your time now. Your chance. Your baby. [name]Janet[/name] is still being honored via [name]Genevieve[/name], and you love it!

(If you’re still worrying about your mom, though, perhaps [name]Genevieve[/name] [name]Kate[/name] would make you feel better, because the “J” will be honored through the first name? Plus, [name]Genevieve[/name] and [name]Jillian[/name] both start with the same sound and have three syllables. I think [name]Katherine[/name] [name]Genevieve[/name] is absolutely stunning, but am just trying to come up with a bunch of possible solutions for you!)

I really think it’s important that you give your baby a name you love, as opposed to a name you felt pressured into giving your sweet baby girl.

As Mom1 wrote, she did the name change, and everything turned out for the best. I know another family who did the same thing, and the mom was extremely relieved!

[name]Just[/name] listen to your heart and be true to yourself, and everything will work out! :slight_smile:

I’m sorry that you felt pressured to choose a name you don’t love. At the end of the day, she’s your daughter and it’s up to YOU to choose her name. I would think that the explanation you gave us about your grandmother’s “real” name would be enough to make your mother happy? (Of course I don’t know her, LOL.) [name]IMO[/name] it’s a much closer way to honor her then to just pick a random “J” name.

Appeal to your husband, change her name sooner rather than later, and tell everyone else that they have had/will have the chance to name their kids and they can get over it.

I mentioned this before, but my mother was pressured to name my brother after our father, so he is a junior. She really still wishes to have not been talked into it, as she feels strongly that people should have their own name and not be a junior, but also that she never particularly liked the name at all. My brother just turned 45, and my mom still brings it up as a cautionary tale. I don’t know that my brother minds his name that much.

She was also going to give me the middle name [name]Elizabeth[/name], but my father hated it, so I got a different middle name which I hated most of the time I was growing up and wanted something normal that no one would make fun of. Now I love it though. It doesn’t seem to have been chosen hastily and relates to my birth month and my grandmother, so it has a lot of meaning. I feel better having something different, not just to be different, but because it has a lot of meaning to me.

I think once everyone gets past it, nobody will spend a lifetime of wishing anything were different. It’s hard to accommodate everyone, just really everyone should have the best interests of your daughter and you in mind. Eventually, it won’t be an issue - I would change it back to what you had originally and let that sink in and everyone will love it and your daughter no less.

Go ahead and change it! And don’t apologize for it. Better do it quick though so you don’t have to go through anymore grief and she won’t be called [name]Jillian[/name] for too much longer. I would go with [name]Juliet[/name] or [name]Juliette[/name] if you wanted something classic starting with a J. I had a dream about that name funnily enough last night. I love [name]Josephine[/name] too.

[name]Don[/name]'t worry, my aunt left the hospital with [name]Baby[/name] Girl as her first name on her birth certificate. It happens to a lot of folks!

For what it is worth I love the name [name]Jillian[/name]. It’s classic, spunky, but also approachable, and has much more character than [name]Katherine[/name]. Of course, what matters is what YOU feel.

That said, have you tried calling her [name]Paige[/name]? (I believe you said this was her middle name). Or [name]Jan[/name]? [name]Jan[/name] could work as a nickname for [name]Jillian[/name] and would honor your grandmother “[name]Janet[/name]”.

I know you have agonized over this for 3 months, but I think you should hold off a little while longer if you can. I truly believe that you will come to see her as [name]Jillian[/name] and b/c you love her so much the name will become lovely to you. Unless you really did just name her to please your Mom. Then change it.

But [name]Karen[/name] said it best. Deep breath and move forward, or sit down for a heart to heart with your husband. Move the conversation beyond whether you like or don’t like the name. Try to get to the reasons why you want to change it, and why he wants to keep it. And I agree that your husband’s opinion is much much more important than your mother’s (sorry, Mom!).

I think it is important to have a name that both your parents love. My father really hated my name, and I finally ended up changing it. But my father loved my sister’s name, and he paid a lot more attention to her than to me. If you don’t like your daughter’s name, change it pretty soon. Call her [name]Katherine[/name] [name]Genevieve[/name] (which I love by the way) for a couple of weeks, see if you love it, and then change her name. [name]Don[/name]'t worry about what others think. Someday it will be like one of those wacky stories that everybody has from their childhood.
I really love the name [name]Genevieve[/name], and it has lots of great nn’s. You might want to consider naming your little girl [name]Genevieve[/name] [name]Kate[/name] or [name]Genevieve[/name] [name]Katherine[/name].
Nn’s for [name]Genevieve[/name]:
[name]Evie[/name] with either a short or long “e”.
[name]Vivi[/name]
[name]Nev[/name]

Wow, very lively discussion! And so sweet, all the very thoughtful and emotionally sensitive responses. You are really the most wonderful community ever and [name]Linda[/name] and I feel so lucky to have you all here.

Now for my official two cents, which echoes much of what’s already been said:

  1. [name]Jillian[/name] is a perfectly lovely name, classic not trashy, and maintaining a nice level of style – not too in, not too out – over a long period of time.

  2. The J spelling is much better than the G.

  3. I’m not exactly sure why your mother was so disappointed: that the namesake name was in the middle or that it was G instead of J, or both?

  4. If you want to please your mother with a J name in first place, but your friend already used [name]Julia[/name], what about [name]Juliet[/name]? It’s the original of [name]Jillian[/name] and a gorgeous name.

  5. But it seems to me that a G works as well as a J in honoring your grandmother – the feeling is certainly there, in spades – and I love [name]Genevieve[/name] too, in first or second place. [name]Katherine[/name]/[name]Kate[/name] [name]Genevieve[/name] is lovely.

  6. I really don’t think there’s any harm to the baby in changing a name now.

Good luck and let us know what you do!

Disappointed mom over the selection of “[name]Katherine[/name]”, the J pressure came from myself more than anyone else. Mom just wasn’t a [name]Katherine[/name] fan from the get go, but I always felt it a nice, safe name. No points for originality, but classic/timless… I think I’m mourning the [name]Genevieve[/name] most, always loved that name. Would have been her first name, but my husband wasn’t a fan! Still mulling over what to do, but all of your responses have helped me a ton! Thanks a million times over…
Either way I suppose I’ll have to print this thread and let her read it some day, maybe when she has her own little one to give a name to.