Thank you I have closed this thread. I appreciate all your help.
Why not change her name to [name]Josephine[/name] [name]Kirby[/name]? I think it would be a nice compromise.
Thanks, and I think we will, although we have a middle name already for her and it’s honoring my husband’s father (he’s alive, but still).
What I’m wondering is, do I follow my gut or just keep her name? Kirby as a name lately just doesn’t seem that exciting as it once was, and I’m just not getting that great of a reaction from folks, which I think is also influencing my thoughts. What do you all think of the name? And what do you think of Josephine? I like the nicknames, but I’m not really sure if she’s a Josephine yet. Agh!
A lot of people do have name regret, and you would not be the first person to change her baby’s name. I think you need to follow your heart – if it is bothering you this much, it seems like it would be worth it to change. You could do a double middle name so you can still keep the name that honors your husband’s father AND keep [name]Kirby[/name]. That way, if she decides she likes [name]Kirby[/name] someday, she can still go by it. Meanwhile you can call her a name that you love and feel happy with. Good luck!
P.S. [name]Josephine[/name] is one of my favorite names ever!
I know a [name]Kirby[/name]. Everyone always loved how unique and pretty her name was. I’m not a big fan of [name]Josephine[/name]. You can always change her name to [name]Kirby[/name] [name]Josephine[/name] and refer her by her middle name.
I love the name [name]Josephine[/name], and it has a lot of great nicknames. I would at least keep [name]Kirby[/name] as a middle name. Good luck and I hope it all works out!!!
I think you should go with your gut. Maybe change it to [name]Josephine[/name] [name]Kirby[/name] Current-middle-name. I love [name]Josephine[/name] and [name]Josie[/name]! Personally, I really don’t like [name]Kirby[/name]. Can’t picture an adult [name]Kirby[/name].
I think I remember seeing [name]Kirby[/name] float around the board awhile back but I can’t remember, I really like [name]Josephine[/name] more since it’s my fav name! I think you’re going to have to change it if you regret your decision this much and she’s only 3 1/2 months, I would do it now though. Good [name]Luck[/name]!
I suggest you try calling her [name]Josephine[/name] instead of [name]Kirby[/name] for a while to see how it fits. If it does and you feel like it’s the right name for her then go for it! I agree with above posters that you could keep [name]Kirby[/name] as a middle name, or even as her first name, with her middle name being [name]Josephine[/name].
I also love [name]Josephine[/name] and all of her nicknames, though! Best of luck!
Follow your GUT. You and your husband are responsible for giving her the best start possible in life and if she’s mis-named, it may interfere with her life’s path unnecessarily. (And don’t worry if anyone is ‘appalled’ at your decision.)
[name]Imagine[/name] the times in her life she may thank you for it, and if [name]Kirby[/name]'s still part of her name, she could choose to go by it.
All the best. p.s [name]Josie[/name] is lovely!
I think with this much name regret still lingering at 3 and 1/2 months, it’s not likely to subside for quite some time. Forget about a change being confusing - I really don’t think it will be an issue. It’s only been a few months. You’ll be amazed at how quickly your daughter will adopt the name. [name]Just[/name] think of how many people give their babies/small children cutesy nicknames that morph back into their real name later, and no one notices or cares (mothers who refer to their daughter’s new sister as “[name]Sissy[/name]” come to mind).
I believe there have been quite a few people on these boards who had name regret (always girls - wonder why?) and if memory serves, they ALL ended up changing the names. Some as late as a year or more. None regretted the change, and if anything, reported a great and immediate sense of relief. I think it’s normal to have difficulty “seeing” your new baby as their name (they are just a baby, after all, and I agree with you that babies don’t generally look like their names), but that difficulty should have at least lessened by now if [name]Kirby[/name] was going to stick.
I second the suggestion to start calling your daughter [name]Josephine[/name] or [name]Josie[/name]. You’ll soon know if that’s the one for you. As for my opinion on [name]Kirby[/name]? Not a fan at all. I love unexpected names, but twice as many boys as girls are called [name]Kirby[/name], which means she’s destined for a lot of confusion in her life. I say go with your gut - change it.
I had the same exact feeling and never wanted to say my daughters name. I gave into a name and wasn’t happy about the moment we chose it, I had always thougt I would find the perfect name for my daughter since I am a total name nerd. We changed it at 9 mos everyone adjusted it didn’t seem to affect her at all (names were similar) Her new name is her Hebrew name though I have never legally changed it. Now at almost 2 i have finally found the name but don’t feel like I have the guts to change it again. So I am saying if [name]Josephine[/name] is THE NAME do not hesitate. After 2 years I am still not settled about her name and I wish she had the name I know suits her. 3 mos is so early I would’nt give it a second thought but I would make sure I loved [name]Josephine[/name]. I think [name]Josephine[/name] is so lovely and [name]Josie[/name] is one of the cutest nicknames. I don’t personally like [name]Kirby[/name], but if you can keep it in her name i would. Good [name]Lucky[/name]! Be happy:)
I only like [name]Kirby[/name] as a boy name and I’m not crazy about [name]Josephine[/name] either. She’s only 3mos so take your time (not too much) and test out names until something fits
And you don’t have to keep [name]Kirby[/name] as a part of her legal name, it can just be a nn.
My husband is having a really hard time with this, claiming that she’s really a [name]Kirby[/name] to him. I am so depressed and don’t know what to do. I wish I could go back in time. A middle name is an option, though it would mean two middle names (a mouthful) and I wish we could just close the book on it.
I’m not a parent and have never been in your position, but I have struggled with depression. I’m not trying to be condescending or offend you in any way, but is it possible that you’re focusing your anxiety and depression on your daughter’s name when it’s really being triggered by something else? I have no idea if that’s true for you, I just know that when I have my struggles with depression (I’m unmedicated and deal with my depression largely on my own) I tend to focus all that anxiety and negative feelings on one thing, no matter how significant/insignificant or whether it’s related to the real problem or not.
I don’t think 3-1/2 months is too late to change her name, but I do think that if your husband and your 4 year old are already attached to the name [name]Kirby[/name], and it sounds like they are, that it might be upsetting for them if you changed it. Personally, I would wait, and maybe find an unbiased person to talk to about your feelings, since you are “so depressed” and having so much regret. Either way I don’t think anyone can judge you for how you’re feeling, only you and your husband can decide what’s right for you and your family.
I fully agree with the previous poster. I think you should determine whether the sadness you’re feeling is really just about her name. Which is not easy, but at least try to talk to someone about everything you’re feeling.
And from what I understand, don’t change her name. You and your DH are not 100% behind [name]Josephine[/name], so that would not take any doubts away. Although the name [name]Kirby[/name] is not my personal style, I find it a sweet yet strong name for a beautiful baby/girl/woman.
Though [name]Josephine[/name] is not my style,it is a classic name and I wholly prefer it to [name]Kirby[/name]. I can’t see it as a name,in the Uk we call hair pins [name]Kirby[/name] grips you see. Couldn’t tell you why we do,but we do!
You sound like you will be happier with Joesphine as her name. I’d go for it before it actually affects her.
Everything she said. Except I am a parent and I remember very clearly those first 3 months and they were emotionally crazy. I cried A LOT, and even though I am perfectly fine now, the doctors and nurses I talked to seemed to be worried that I was developing post-partum depression. I think it is just a crazy, overly emotional time and if there was any doubt in your mind at all about the name when you picked it, it’s sure to be a point of focus of your emotions right now. I also recommend talking to a neutral third party – maybe call the hospital and see if they have a post-partum counselor you could talk to? Most hospitals have someone they’ll refer you to and, having been there, I can tell you that it will feel so much better once you actually talk to someone who doesn’t know you about everything you’re feeling, especially someone who knows what to expect at such a time (unlike family members, especially husbands, and friends without kids). Then re-evaluate, try the name out for a day or two, and see how you feel about it. Like pps have said – you have plenty of time to change it.
For the record, [name]Kirby[/name] is not my style at all and I would probably have that unenthused reaction you seem to be getting – “[name]Kirby[/name]? Oh.” – But I suspect the name would grow on me quickly. I have not known any other Kirbys, so I don’t have any association with it as boy or girl. [name]Josephine[/name] on the other hand is totally my style and it’s one of my name loves, especially with all the nicknames. But ONLY you and your husband know what’s right for your little girl. You’ll figure it out. [name]Don[/name]'t worry.
Agree with a pp. call her [name]Josephine[/name] for a couple few days and see how it goes (or a [name]Josephine[/name] nn you like). I think if it were me, I might even keep [name]Kirby[/name] as the fn and add in [name]Josephine[/name] as a mn, while still keeping the honoring mn too. So it might be [name]Kirby[/name] [name]Josephine[/name] Middlename LN. Or I would do [name]Josephine[/name] [name]Kirby[/name] Middlename LN. I wouldn’t toss out the honoring mn. That might hurt some feelings. And this way allows you to call her [name]Josephine[/name] now or a nn related, and your DH and child could still call her [name]Kirby[/name] if they like, or they might come around to [name]Josephine[/name] if you give them time. Then if later you think shes a [name]Kirby[/name], it’s still there in her name. Good luck! I hate name regret and had some of it myself, tho not as severe as you.
I think the best compromise is to scoot [name]Kirby[/name] to a middle spot and make her [name]Josephine[/name] [name]Kirby[/name] ___ ___ or [name]Josephine[/name] ___ [name]Kirby[/name] ___. It won’t really affect your daughter since she can’t recognize her name at this point. I can see your reservations with the whole explaining-she-has-a-new-name thing and explaining it to your daughter, though. I think most people will understand if you do decide to change it, and you can tell your older daughter that [name]Kirby[/name] can be her nickname. If it really bothers you, you should change her name, but make sure that the new name is definitely the name, because you don’t want to have to go through the whole process again.