Has anyone else had “baby fever” soon after having a baby?
I have a 6 month old daughter who I absolutely love! The last six months have been great; however, my pregnancy was unplanned and the whole thing was very stressful and hard for me. Things are a lot better in my life now, and I feel like the reason that I have baby fever is because I have regrets about things during my pregnancy. I’m wondering if my baby fever is from my desire to redo the pregnancy to replace my regrets?? Or if it’s normal to feel like you want a second baby so soon, especially if your first baby is super easy going??
I hate to say it, but I think it’s you’re desire to redo your first pregnancy. Instead of having another baby, I’d focus on giving all the best you can to your sweet baby now! Not saying having another would distract you from your first, but you might have regrets you started again so soon.
Best of luck to you, my dear.
I was about to reply, but I realized I wrote something very similar recently. so I’ll copy and paste it here:
Only you and your BF can decide what spacing works for you. Just because you are young parents or #1 was unplanned does not mean that you can’t plan #2 or want another one closer than other people feel you should. The only caution I will give is that I’ve always gone through that “baby wishes” type stage before my little one is a year old. It makes you want to have more! Sometimes it’s a real and true feeling, but sometimes it’s getting wrapped up in the emotions of it all and it’s really not the best timing. A larger age gap might not seem ideal to you, but it could be really beneficial if you or your BF are not ready to add more responsibility to the family right now. Make sure you take time for your relationship and discuss future goals and plans together now. I speak from experience that having 2 small children and a new marriage that formed without having all those goals conversations didn’t start off very well. I almost think, to some degree, we wanted number 2 to help make our family feel more real or right. (I know that sounds terrible and I can’t even imagine our lives without her for one moment, but I’m being honest). I wish we would have taken more time for our relationship… we had to backfill and do alot of that down the line. And thankfully we didn’t have more children for a while because that was the time we took to do some of that stuff that we really should have nailed down before we had 2 kids or even got married! Life works in mysterious ways sometimes though.
From your description, it does sound like you are wishing to rewrite certain parts of your pregnancy. I’ve been there, and it’s tough. Breastfeeding was a whopping failure for us (undiagnosed tongue-tie, 13 months of pumping due to intolerance of formula), which I was surprised to find so incredibly disappointing and guilt-inducing. By the time DD was 5-6 months old, I was already dreaming of Baby #2. Of course, in my dreams, B#2 always breastfed like a champ and slept like an angel ;). A year later, I’m sooooo relieved that I ignored that little voice for what it was - guilt over not being able to make things play out as they always had in my mind. A walking, talking (well, kinda) honey badger who is into EVERYTHING would be very difficult to keep up with if I was taking care of a newborn right now. People do it, and many of them even do it very well, but I would be a mess. I’d also feel incredible guilt about my reasons for wanting another.
There are still things that I would change if I could, but my daughter turned out perfectly in spite of my own ideas about perfection. And now, I can imagine our family with another little one, knowing that the newbie would be purely out of a desire for an addition and not a replacement of sorts.
Please understand that this is my own experience, and may or may not apply to your situation, but I thought it might help.
I remember going through a phase when [name]Rowan[/name] was about 4 months old when I wanted another baby. It might have been hormones, or the fact that [name]Rowan[/name] was a perfect, cute, chubby little baby that I was like “Hey, why not have another one of these?” But I am soooooooooo glad I didn’t have another one. Now that she’s a whirlwind that runs around the house making messes and throwing mini tantrums all the time. I’m considering trying for another one this summer, so by the time the new baby gets here [name]Rowan[/name] will be old enough to understand and be talked out of tantrums. I also want to be in peak physical shape when I get pregnant again, so maybe I won’t develop a pinched nerve in my upper back like last time.
Thanks everyone for all of the replies! It really helped me a lot to read your responses.
I think part of my problem is that FIVE people I know have babies due this [name]August[/name] when my daughter will be turning one… I feel jealous of them because they’re just starting out, and it makes me feel like I wish I could start my pregnancy over and redo it and my daughter’s first 6 months of life and not make the same mistakes… which is silly, I know!
But from all the advice, I have thought about it and decided that having a baby right now would definitely be for the wrong reasons.
I had baby fever really bad after I had my son 3 years ago, especially right before he turned a year old. I think it is completely normal (a few other mom’s I know also went threw this). But I am glad that we waited a few years before becoming pregnant again, that way we could focus on him. [name]Trust[/name] me once she becomes a toddler your not going to have baby fever anymore:) at least not for awhile.