Help! My son just introduced himself as Hank

I have an almost four year old named [name_m]Henry[/name_m], who we introduce as [name_m]Henry[/name_m], even though my husband (I often find myself doing it too) calls him [name_m]Hal[/name_m]. He looks like a [name_m]Henry[/name_m] and I named him [name_m]Henry[/name_m] because I like the full name, not the nicknames. Here’s where the problem comes in - my father in law calls him [name_m]Hank[/name_m] the Tank because he was a really chubby baby. I never really cared before, besides thinking that this poor kid must be confused being called so many different things, until today. We were at the grocery store and I saw an acquaintance from college and prompted my son to introduce himself. He said “[name_m]Hi[/name_m], my name is [name_m]Hank[/name_m] A_____son,” smiled his cute smile and then went back to talking to his brother. When we got in the car I asked him what he said name was and he told me [name_m]Hank[/name_m]. I know I’m probably overreacting, but it is worrying me. I expected this problem with my other son (we just call him [name_m]Joseph[/name_m], we don’t like [name_m]Joe[/name_m] and he’s not old enough to know any better yet) but not [name_m]Henry[/name_m]. [name_f]Do[/name_f] I let it run its course? [name_f]Do[/name_f] I keep calling him [name_m]Henry[/name_m] and hope he forgets? Or if this keeps going on should I just let him be [name_m]Hank[/name_m]? I just have such a hard time thinking of my sweet, cherubic little boy going by [name_m]Hank[/name_m]. It seems like a 50 year old man name to me. What would you do?

(Note - moderators, I didn’t know if this was the right place to put this, I’m sorry if it isn’t!)

Ultimately, it’s his name. If he’s determined to be called [name_m]Hank[/name_m] there isn’t much you can do about it.

Would you feel comfortable talking to your father-in-law and asking him to only call your son [name_m]Henry[/name_m]? I feel you, as I love [name_m]Henry[/name_m] but don’t like [name_m]Hank[/name_m]. Maybe it’s just a stage and he’ll forget about it in a bit.

[name_m]Just[/name_m] keep calling him [name_m]Henry[/name_m] and see what happens. He may just think [name_m]Hank[/name_m] is cool right now cause it’s the nickname his grandpa calls him. If it really bothers you, you can explain to him that his name is [name_m]Henry[/name_m] and [name_m]Hank[/name_m] is just a special name that Grandpa calls him and see if that works. If that doesn’t work just ride it out and see what happens. He is only 4.

Since he’s only 4 I think it’s pretty likely to be something he forgets in a few weeks. [name_m]Just[/name_m] keep calling him [name_m]Henry[/name_m] and see what happens. I mean, I’ve heard of 4-year-olds going through stages of insisting that they be called Batman or something.

But southern.maple is completely correct. If he gets older, becomes known as [name_m]Hank[/name_m] among his peers and starts saying to you “[name_m]Don[/name_m]'t call me [name_m]Henry[/name_m], my name is [name_m]Hank[/name_m]”, well then there’s nothing you can do. Then your son is called [name_m]Hank[/name_m] and hopefully you’d respect him enough to call him what he considered to be his name.

I wouldn’t stress it if he’s only 4. Mind you, I think I was 5 or 6 when I started going by my nickname and told my parents that I was not to be addressed by the long version anymore. They complied, with a few reminders :wink:

My one sister’s name is [name_f]Alicia[/name_f]. She went by [name_f]Alicia[/name_f] most of her childhood. Sometime in middle/high school she got the nickname [name_f]Lia[/name_f]. Though most of her friends call her [name_f]Lia[/name_f], we still call her [name_f]Alicia[/name_f]. She knows [name_f]Alicia[/name_f] is her real name but just prefers to go by [name_f]Lia[/name_f] by her friends and [name_f]Alicia[/name_f] by her family. Her boyfriend interchanges calling her [name_f]Lia[/name_f] and [name_f]Alicia[/name_f] equally and we call her [name_f]Lia[/name_f] maybe 25-30% of the time. Basically, it may be a phase because he’s so young. That doesn’t mean his name isn’t [name_m]Henry[/name_m] still. I would still call him [name_m]Henry[/name_m]/ [name_m]Hal[/name_m] and see what happens. If your son keeps introducing himself as [name_m]Hank[/name_m], he may prefer it. Maybe you can ask him what he prefers if it continues, or why he prefers [name_m]Hank[/name_m] to [name_m]Henry[/name_m] or [name_m]Hal[/name_m]?

I just wanted to say that I think it’s super sweet that his special nickname from Grandpa stands out to him. <3

Maybe you should tell your family members to call him [name_m]Henry[/name_m] and only [name_m]Henry[/name_m]? If it’s not just a stage and he insists though, I guess you will have to give up.
I just stopped using my old nickname, for example, and I don’t answer to it now, but my mom still uses it. :slight_smile:

I wouldn’t worry about it too much, he may use many different names before he grows up. If you like [name_m]Henry[/name_m] the best, just keep calling him that.

I think [name_m]Hank[/name_m] is VERY cool! It sort of gives off the same vibe as [name_u]Gus[/name_u] and Ted to me. I can understand that some people find it old man-ish, but I see it as a cute name with serious vintage charm.

Ditto.

I have a few friends whose parents call them by their given names but everyone else calls them a nickname.

As other users mentioned, he’s only 4.
This may be just a phase or can be for life (if that happens, you have to respect his wish, k?)
But if you prefer to call him [name_m]Henry[/name_m], just call him [name_m]Henry[/name_m].
I think you shouldn’t ask for your family to change their way of calling your son, mainly because [name_m]Hank[/name_m] and [name_m]Hal[/name_m] are affectionate nns and negating their value is harsh, it’s like you’re unconsciously telling your family to stop being close to your lil [name_m]Henry[/name_m] (do see what I mean?).

And think about it: [name_m]Huck[/name_m] is actually an awesome nn. Pretty badass!
My uncle’s friend is called [name_m]Pedro[/name_m], [name_m]Roberto[/name_m] or something like that (a common Portuguese name), but since middle school he introduces himself, just for emphasis he INTRODUCES himself as Labareda… literally “[name_u]Flame[/name_u]/ [name_u]Blaze[/name_u]”. It’s a memorable and fun nn, but sometimes people think it’s weird because now he is an adult and his mother still calls him by his real name. :stuck_out_tongue:

I mean you can keep calling him [name_m]Henry[/name_m] if you want, but ultimately it’s his name. If he wants to introduce himself as [name_m]Hank[/name_m], he has a right too, even if he’s only four. You can’t really control his nickname for his entire life. Usually nicknames just sort of happen.

You all are so kind. Thank you for your replies, they have made me feel so much better. To be honest, I think a lot of it is just pregnancy hormones - my baby boy is almost four and I’m trying to name another baby and he’s changing his name. I know, logically it is ridiculous, and if he truly decides he wants to go by [name_m]Hank[/name_m] I’ll respect it, but I’m hoping it’s a phase. I try to be a very accepting mom, I just put so much time into naming my kids that it broke my heart a little. I’m glad that some of you think [name_m]Hank[/name_m] is kind of cool. I’m trying to make it grow on me. [name_f]Lainy[/name_f]- your comment really made me feel better. I wouldn’t ever talk to my father in law about it, simply because he is one of the greatest men and grandfathers I know and I’m grateful for all he does for us and how much he loves my boys. Thank you all for helping me!

I definitely wouldn’t worry about it :slight_smile: As others have said, some people have nicknames only with specific people, or they are known as something to one group and another name with another. I have a family member [name_f]Joanna[/name_f] who introduces herself as [name_u]Jo[/name_u], but her family all call her [name_f]Joanna[/name_f]. I’m [name_f]Elisabeth[/name_f] and am only ever [name_f]Elisabeth[/name_f] - apart from my one friend who calls me [name_f]Liz[/name_f], an aunt who calls me [name_f]Lizzie[/name_f], another friend who calls me [name_f]Lil[/name_f], another friend who calls me Lilybet… :smiley:

My suggestion would be to keep calling him [name_m]Henry[/name_m] yourself, because its the name you chose and love. I wouldn’t correct him though if he identifies with [name_m]Hank[/name_m]. His name is his identity, and you don’t want to stifle that. My son’s name is [name_m]Theodore[/name_m], and I realize that he may very well be Ted one day, although I don’t care for the name Ted. However, I will always call him my little [name_u]Theo[/name_u].

On another note, I think [name_m]Hank[/name_m] is kind of a cool toddler name. Not everyone will think the same things you do when they hear the name.

Thank you all so much. I’ve heard [name_m]Hank[/name_m] a few more times, I’m letting him do what he wants and still referring to him as [name_m]Henry[/name_m]. [name_m]Theodore[/name_m] is a beautiful name. Thank you for your insight. [name_m]Even[/name_m] though it’s not what I’d choose, [name_m]Hank[/name_m] could be cute.

Get used to it. When you give your kids names that have well known, obvious nicknames it’s pretty much impossible to keep them from being called that.

It’s even more impossible to control what the child themselves will choose. [name_m]Just[/name_m] feel lucky it wasn’t something horrible. Like “[name_m]Hi[/name_m], I’m Spitsy A…son!” or something.

He’s four – I’d say it’s likely just a phase. Keep calling him [name_m]Henry[/name_m] yourself and see what happens. Honestly though as another poster pointed out, it’s his name and he’ll call himself what he wants to call himself. I knew lots of kids in middle school in particular who suddenly decided they were [name_f]Cate[/name_f] with a “C” and not a “K” or wanted to be [name_f]Elizabeth[/name_f] instead of [name_f]Lizzy[/name_f] or whatever. It’s what kids do to assert their individuality and there’s not much as parents we can or should do about it. Besides, I think [name_m]Hank[/name_m] is really cute on a little boy! But odds favor he’ll abandon that nickname eventually if it’s not being reinforced by his parents and siblings.

I think it’s perfectly fine for you to continue calling him [name_m]Henry[/name_m] if that’s what you prefer and he hasn’t asked specifically not to be called that anymore. In my family we do it the opposite where only family calls us by our “baby nicknames” [name_f]Cherie[/name_f], [name_u]Danny[/name_u], and [name_u]Freddy[/name_u] and everyone else calls us by our full names. You may not like it, but if he chooses to go by [name_m]Hank[/name_m] I think you should let him. Fighting it will only make him want to be a [name_m]Hank[/name_m] even more. He’s still young and I’m sure he is just trying out the different nicknames he’s been given to see what he likes best. I’d give him time because even though you picked the name with certain intentions it is his name and if he identifies with [name_m]Hank[/name_m] you shouldn’t try to change his mind. [name_f]Hope[/name_f] this helps :slight_smile: