Help! Naming Problem

General Name Discussion
1

I need help with this. We just found out that we are having a girl and have planned on naming her [name]Juliette[/name] from the beginning. The problem is my sister just found out she is having boy/girl twins and is naming them [name]Jackson[/name] and [name]Julia[/name]. We had our name picked first but couldn’t call it until we found out what we were having. My question is are [name]Juliette[/name] and [name]Julia[/name] to close together for cousins?

I should say that this is our first and their 6th and 7th so I feel like ours should have priority even though she is due first.

2

Their 6th and 7th? Wow! So many kids.
I personally think [name]Juliette[/name] is a nicer name than [name]Julia[/name]. [name]How[/name] often would these cousins see each other? If they will only see each other once or twice a year then it’d probably be fine but more often might be more confusing and if [name]Julia[/name] is born first then you may get accused of copying.

I know it’s probably not the most fair thing to do but unless she really loves the name [name]Julia[/name] you could still convince her otherwise. Drop hints about twin names starting with the same letter and stuff.

If your heart is set on [name]Juliette[/name] then maybe you should just tell her and see if she understands.

3

I forgot to mention that we live less than a mile from each other and see each other about every day. I’m so bummed that they ended up picking a name so close to what we had. My husband said we shouldn’t change ours because we did have it first and our baby should be special too.

4

Maybe you should talk to her about it and she might understand. They may have a second choice they also like. For all you know they may still be unsure on [name]Julia[/name]

5

If this is your first child and not her first child, I would ask her would she mind, well, you didn’t say if this was her first daughter. If not, this seems like you should get first choice. If you live close, and they will see each other all the time, then I am guessing your sisterly dynamic is such that you can approach it and maybe she would not be so competitive as to insist on using the name [name]Julia[/name] at all. If she does insist, then I would go ahead and insist on [name]Juliette[/name] for yourself, and don’t worry about it. They can live with it, and it doesn’t bother me to have 2 cousins with almost the same name if that’s how she wants it…

I am projecting some of my own family dynamic here, I think my sister would mind and it would cause friction to both be so … I’m not sure “selfish” is the right word, but I struggle with a better term for it. I really don’t think you should have to compromise, and her having 5 other children, or even 1 or 2 before you, should allow for you to have a turn!

It would be a lot more difficult for me to say in this case if both of you were expecting your first around the same time. If I could turn back time, I would have you announce your choices for a girl or a boy before you knew what the sex would be, so that she might have thought of something else and not beat you to the punch. This is an exciting time for you, and I’m sorry to say it seems like she did steal your thunder.

I hope this works out for you. I don’t mean to cause trouble.

6

We did tell our family a girl would be [name]Juliette[/name] before we found out what we were having. My sister wants them to have the same beginning letter. They also have 3 other girls. [name]Jackson[/name] is a cousin on her husbands side so they don’t mind being the same or similar. In my family she is the chosen one and I would be the bad one to ask her to change it. I usually have to give in but I’m not going to when it comes to my daughter. I’ve tried suggesting some other J girl names but [name]Julia[/name] is what they like. UGGGGG so frustrating

7

If you did mention [name]Juliette[/name] earlier on then she has no right to accuse you of copying [name]Julia[/name] if she ever did.

I say go with it if your heart is set on it. It’s a better name than [name]Julia[/name] anyway, at least in my opinion

8

I think you need to tell her that you were thinking (and still are) about [name]Juliette[/name] for your baby, and you really want to use it. I’m not big on deciding whose name should get precedence, but I think you win here, if only for one reason. I love [name]Julia[/name], but has your sister had twins before? I am a twin, and I don’t mean to be rude, but [name]Jackson[/name] and [name]Julia[/name] aren’t doing it for me on the twin name front. Too close in first letter (clearly) and too different in style! [name]Jackson[/name] and [name]Audrey[/name], [name]Jackson[/name] and [name]Edie[/name], [name]Jackson[/name] and [name]Laurel[/name], [name]Jackson[/name] and [name]Lucy[/name], [name]Jackson[/name] and [name]Lily[/name] ([name]Lily[/name] [name]Julia[/name] is pretty!), [name]Jackson[/name] and [name]Nora[/name], or [name]Jackson[/name] and [name]Ruby[/name] would all be great for her twins! She could even do [name]Jackson[/name] [name]Lucas[/name] and [name]Lily[/name] [name]Julia[/name] - reversed initials! - for her twins, and then she could keep [name]Julia[/name] and you could keep [name]Juliet/name, and you could both be very happy. People will appreciate her naming creativity if she doesn’t choose the (tacky - sorry but I’m biased) same letter thing! The only reason I see her needing to keep [name]Julia[/name] is if all of her children are named with J names, a la Duggar. I don’t mean to be rude to your sister, but I just can’t stand it when people name twins with the same letter (or rhymes, oh my)!

I also would like to say that I prefer the spelling [name]Juliet[/name] - it looks more classic and less frilly - but it is up to you! Good luck!

9

It’s definitely my first reaction here is to stand your ground and use the name. I don’t know who is going to give birth first, but it wouldn’t matter to me. I’m a little agitated, and it’s not even my family. Who made up the rule that you couldn’t claim a name until you were sure you were having a girl? You did say you liked it first, so you should use it, even if she uses [name]Julia[/name] ahead of you. I see no cause for you to have to be the one to compromise, and especially not if she’s not either. What’s fair is fair, what’s unfair is unfair; I would not back down, and if she won’t give up the name, you shouldn’t either.

Wow, I’m usually a peacemaking sort of person, but this situation has me a little upset myself. Perhaps loaded phrases like “the chosen one” make me think ‘what would I do’? In the end, it’s the name you love. I have to think in a lot of years down the road, this will still have been the name you love. There are a lot of other names you could easily like, so I would think if it’s the family dynamic that you want to “win” for a change, or just have one thing you always wanted and not have someone take it away from you.

Either way, it feels crummy and a little corrupted on your experience being a new mother-to-be. I have seen some threads come up where someone with a chance to use a name they loved, or not fight for a name with their partner, or let someone else make doubts in your head about your decision - people are often coming after the fact of their child’s name “should have been” this or that, feeling some remorse. I don’t know. If you use the name, will that be good enough, even if she uses it first, or will it be only a little better than nothing? If you give it up, how will you feel about your sister and her children in the years to come? Like a martyr? Kind of unhappy with the leftovers of names you don’t like so much? I get where she is not bothered by copying or being copied, so at least if you do use [name]Juliette[/name], it won’t be eating at her for her whole life as it may you if you don’t get to use it. For sure, your daughter will have the name you wanted her to have, a good name, and I think one’s first choice always makes for the best name - a certain choice always seems better to me than people who can’t pinpoint on a name for whatever reason and have to give up several to choose “the one” when so many are so good. Hopefully, as cousins of close age and geographic proximity, this will be a very cute thing, and the 3 of them can go around in sort of a little J gang. The 3 Js. I think they might love it.

I guess to sum it up for myself, personally - I would be more OK with using a similar name of which I am certain is “the one” even if my sister insisted on using it first (or too similar) than I would be to let her keep it and start looking for something else. I do not have any such certainty and probably would be happy to choose from some dozen or so other excellent names, but if you are certain about [name]Juliette[/name], that counts for a lot more. This is your first child, don’t let your sister’s decisions affect yours or steal your excitement and pride! I guess that’s it.

10

Oh, I’m so, so sorry to hear that your sister has chosen to use [name]Julia[/name], and I felt like I was kicked in the stomach when I read that she knew you had already chosen [name]Juliette[/name]. [name]Ouch[/name].

In my opinion, her decision to use [name]Julia[/name] speaks a lot about her character. You say she’s the [name]Golden[/name] Child, and it seems as though she’s gotten used to putting her desires above yours. I’d love to have a little chat with her. :slight_smile:

A poster named [name]Gracie[/name] once dealt with a similar issues, and I wrote that while we can’t control what other people do, we can control how we react to them. While you need to do what’s right for you (and while it may be easier said than done), I personally hope you’ll consider the source, shake it off, and stick to the gorgeous name you’ve chosen.

(Plus, if she chose [name]Julia[/name] while she knew you were going with [name]Juliette[/name], the similarity clearly isn’t an issue for her, so it’s not as though she has a right to get her panties in a bunch should you opt to keep [name]Juliette[/name].) :slight_smile:

While ideally it would it great if the first cousins had names that differed more, I vote that you stick with [name]Juliette[/name]. [name]Juliette[/name] and [name]Julia[/name] may live near each other at the moment, but one of you may move in future; also, the two cousins may not live anywhere near each other when they grow up, and I think it would be a shame to deny your daughter such a gorgeous name. (I absolutely love [name]Juliette[/name]!) :slight_smile:

If you’re too bothered to use [name]Juliette[/name], though, you may also like:

[name]Amelie[/name]
[name]Annabelle[/name]
[name]Camille[/name]
[name]Genevieve[/name]
[name]Josephine[/name]
[name]Mirabelle[/name]
[name]Rosalie[/name]
[name]Vivienne[/name]

Another option could be using [name]Juliette[/name] in the middle.

I hope everything works out for you! :slight_smile:

I’m sending hugs your way!

:slight_smile:

11

[name]Ouch[/name]. She knew you were choosing [name]Juliette[/name] and she still went with [name]Julia[/name]? That’s cold.

I hear you about your sister being “the chosen one” and you being “the bad one” - I am so, SO glad that my older sister doesn’t have kids yet for this same reason.

I think your sister is clearly in the wrong here, but it’s tough because she is due first and so she’ll get a chance to name first. Is there any chance that the nn will be different? I say if you’re really in love with [name]Juliette[/name] and no other name will do, keep it. In time it really won’t matter that their names are “close” - the girls themselves will probably like it. It could give them an even closer bond. [name]Hope[/name] everything works out for you and I hope the rest of your family will be understanding.

12

[name]Just[/name] wanted to chime in to say that I love the spelling of [name]Juliette[/name] that you chose. We named our daughter [name]Juliette[/name] too, and get tons of compliments on it. You know, in the long run, the two girls might think it’s really cool that they have such similar names. They’ll probably be friends as they grow up and they might like the Ju-Ju bond they’ll share.

Good luck to you!

13

Finding the “right” name is no easy task. If you are settled on [name]Juliette[/name] (very pretty, BTW), then I hope you use it for your daughter. If I were you, I would just make sure that everyone in your family knows (especially your sister and brother-in-law) that you STILL plan on using [name]Juliette[/name] and that you both feel is perfect for your daughter. I think it is crititcal that they understand you will NOT be altering your choice, so they are not surprised later on or have the mistaken idea that you will be altering your choice. That way, if your sister does name her daughter [name]Julia[/name], it will be with the full understanding that a [name]Juliette[/name] is coming. If you announce your stance and certainty before your sister, it will tend to make everyone look more to your sister to be the one to decide if there will be two Jul–s in the family. It will go over much better if no one is surprised when you name your daughter [name]Juliette[/name]. Making it clear to everyone in advance will also give everyone time to adjust to the idea of cousins with similar names.

I think it definitely can work out satisfactorily to have [name]Juliette[/name] and [name]Julia[/name] as close cousins, as long as everyone is gracious about it. Thankfully, they are not the exact same names. Everyone can learn to be precise in stating their names. Or, perhaps a nickname can be used for one or both – even if it’s just among family members.

Good luck! Please keep us posted on what happens.

14

Yes julia and [name]Juliette[/name] are too close. Im sorry this happened to you. I can only imagine how annoying it would be to finally choose a name only to have someone steal it! You could try to talk to her and explain that u had planned to name your daughter [name]Juliette[/name] and maybe she will back down from julia> In case she doesn’t start looking for another name. [name]May[/name] I also suggest you claim a few other names before she takes those, I mean at the rate she is going 7 kids!!!