Hi everyone! I desperately need your advice! You guys are always so helpful and supportive. I apologize in advance for the long post! [name_f]My[/name_f] son is 11 weeks old and I’m still having doubts about his name “[name_u]Flynn[/name_u]”. I always loved the name but I started to have doubts about it late into the pregnancy because I noticed the “[name_u]Lynn[/name_u]” in it and wondered if it made the name less masculine (I think of [name_u]Lynn[/name_u] as a girls name even though I know it was once a unisex name here in the US). We chose the name anyway because I thought my doubts would fade with time but they haven’t and I’m still really focussed on the “[name_u]Lynn[/name_u]” part when I say and write his name. [name_u]Lynn[/name_u] also reminds me of a mean girl at highschool, which doesn’t help! I’ve tried to focus on the fact that my Dad’s middle name has “[name_u]Lyn[/name_u]” in it ([name_m]Lyndon[/name_m]) so there’s a part of his name in [name_u]Flynn[/name_u] but it doesn’t help! Also, I made the mistake of looking at people’s opinions online and a couple of people said that the name looked a little feminine with the “lynn” part and also reminded them of “phlegm”, which really bothers me!
The name is very uncommon here in the US (no. 779 on the charts) and people don’t seem to understand me when I first say it and they often ask me how to spell it. They have also asked me over the phone if it’s a boys or girls name? That surprises me because I thought people would know it’s a boys name and would know how to spell it. This just makes me more unsure about the name. I worry that my son will always be correcting people when he’s older. Other concerns I have are that the name might become a unisex name one day (it’s mostly male right now but there are a few female Flynns out there) and I’m also struggling with nicknames. The kids call him “Flynny” but I really don’t like it because it sounds a little feminine. I’m also having trouble picturing an older man with this name.
At this point I’m just really self conscious about the name and cringe waiting for people’s reactions when I say it. I feel terrible because I have this sweet, healthy baby boy and I don’t know what to call him. I have been calling him “the baby” because it doesn’t feel right calling him [name_u]Flynn[/name_u] when I have all these doubts but my husband and kids have been calling him that from day one. I think about changing it every day to the only other name that my husband liked, “[name_m]Calvin[/name_m]” (nickname “[name_u]Cal[/name_u]”), but I get scared because it seems so drastic and we need a court order to do it. And I’m worried people will think that we’re crazy! I also get upset thinking about the birth certificate as it will always show both names and I wonder how my son will feel about that when he’s older. I also feel sad for the kids having to adjust to a new name and I even get a little sad at the thought of saying goodbye to “[name_u]Flynn[/name_u]” because that has been his name for nearly 3 months. I feel like I’m taking away his identity but at the same time, I’m just not sure if I can get past my doubts with the name and I’m so tired of worrying about it…it’s exhausting and it’s all I can think about. I didn’t have this issue with my other kids’ names ([name_f]Ava[/name_f], [name_f]Mia[/name_f], [name_f]Annabelle[/name_f] (nn [name_f]Elle[/name_f]) & [name_u]Austin[/name_u].
My husband would prefer to keep the name [name_u]Flynn[/name_u] because he’s used to it but he’s also happy to change it to [name_m]Calvin[/name_m] if I really want to. Our son can’t go by his middle name “[name_m]Joshua[/name_m]”, because it’s my husband’s name and we don’t want two [name_m]Josh[/name_m]’s. [name_f]My[/name_f] husband would prefer to keep the middle name as [name_m]Joshua[/name_m] although he’s open to changing that too.
I would love your thoughts on the following:
Do you think my doubts about [name_u]Flynn[/name_u] will fade in time or do you think I should just change the name seeing as I still have concerns about it?
If we change it, which option do you think makes the most sense and/or sounds the best?
*Change it to [name_m]Calvin[/name_m] [name_m]Joshua[/name_m] [name_m]Holmes[/name_m]
*Change it to [name_m]Calvin[/name_m] [name_u]Flynn[/name_u] [name_m]Holmes[/name_m] (not sure if this sounds as good but it might be less of an adjustment for the kids?)
*Change it to [name_u]Flynn[/name_u] [name_m]Calvin[/name_m] [name_m]Holmes[/name_m] so we have the option of calling him [name_m]Calvin[/name_m] if I don’t get over my issues with [name_u]Flynn[/name_u] (although I worry that going by his middle name would be a hassle for him)
Do you think the kids would get used to the new name pretty quickly even though they’ve called him [name_u]Flynn[/name_u] for 3 months? They are ages 9, 7, 4, & 2.
My other son is “[name_u]Austin[/name_u]”? [name_f]Do[/name_f] you like how [name_u]Austin[/name_u] and [name_m]Calvin[/name_m] sound together with the same ending or do you think it’s too matchy?
The only issue I can think of with [name_m]Calvin[/name_m] is the [name_m]Calvin[/name_m] and [name_m]Hobbes[/name_m] association. [name_f]Do[/name_f] you think that will be an issue with our last name “[name_m]Holmes[/name_m]”? Is it too close or will it not matter because kids my son’s age probably won’t know about them?
I’m so sorry for the long post! Thank you so much in advance!