We have decided on [name_u]Marion[/name_u] as a middle, as it is an honor for my family. We are still deciding on a first name, and I don’t think we will have it narrowed down much until the final weeks.
[name_u]Baby[/name_u] girl will be half Korean, quarter Colombian, quarter white, and will be living in the US. I wonder if she should have an official Korean middle name on her birth certificate following [name_u]Marion[/name_u], or if it should just be honorary. [name_f]My[/name_f] husband thinks she should have one, but that it does not need to go on the birth certificate because he does not see the point in complicating paperwork. [name_f]My[/name_f] MIL who is choosing the name would prefer the name be on the birth certificate, but has expressed it is completely up to us (bless her).
[name_f]My[/name_f] thoughts:
I want her to have a Korean middle. I think keeping the culture is important. Also, [name_u]Marion[/name_u] honors someone in my family, so I think it is more than fair that there is an honor from the other side, too.
I am wary of second middles, I haven’t been a fan of using them myself before this. [name_u]Marion[/name_u] is her established first middle, so it would be the one primarily used. Does it really make paperwork more annoying to have a second middle? I just don’t know because I don’t have experience with it.
Her name would look something like “[name_u]Ruby[/name_u] [name_u]Marion[/name_u] Boung-cha ____.” It’s definitely longer than we intended, but I think that bothers my husband more than it does me.
She will probably never go by this name when she visits Korea. It may be used by MIL, but she doesn’t ever use her own kids’ birth names so seems unlikely. With this in mind, wouldn’t it be pointless for her to have a Korean name if it is not on her birth certificate, and never used? Then it would be like an invisible name.
Given the information, what do you think YOU would do? Use a second middle on the birth certificate, or give her an honorary Korean name? Ultimately, I feel it is up to my husband because I got to choose my middle! But I still would like to hear others’ thoughts about a second middle, or just generally what you think you’d end up doing. Thank you for reading my longest post ever.
I personally would use the Korean name as a second middle name, but I have 2 middle names in my combos anyways. [name_f]My[/name_f] ex was Chinese and so for a few years my top name combos were similar to the one you are considering-
I don’t personally have two middle names, but I do have a Vietnamese name honoring that side of my family and I find it really special. I think it definitely will connect her with her culture and I know people who have two middles and they don’t find it an extra hassle.
I personally have two decently long middle names and haven’t had any problems because of them. It also is a decent fun-fact that I’ve used before! Two middles would be great way to honor both sides of the family.
I would put the Korean second middle name on the birth certificate. Personally I love long names and having 2 middles names does not bother me.
We gave our daughter 2 middle names, the second one being an honor name. Although, we don’t use it often I’m glad it’s officially part of her name and that she has that connection.
Not in the US, so I wouldn’t answer regarding the paperwork part. While many berries who answered above seem to be in favour of 2nd Korean middle, I just wanna speak about my own experience having “honorary” name. I am of Chinese descent and instead of combining in one name combo, my parents decided to give me two separate names. [name_f]My[/name_f] Chinese name isn’t on my birth certificate at all, but my dad calls me with it 99% of the time, and I find it just as meaningful.
Ultimately there’s no right and wrong here. Both adding 2nd middle or giving honorary Korean name are great options. I do suggest calling her by the Korean name once in a while though, as I think hearing the name used will help her connect with the culture more than where the name is put itself, at least in my own experience.
Personally, I think I’d prefer to have to middles on my birth certificate. I went through something kind of similar (not that similar, but still):
When my parents got married my mom both took my dad’s surname and kept hers, so she technically had to surnames, but she only used my dad’s surname (and not her maiden name) for work related things, whenever she introduced herself, etc. [name_f]My[/name_f] dad just kept his surname. When I was born my parents gave me a first name, two middles, and my dad’s surname. I’ve always felt a strong connection to my heritage on my mom’s side of the family, so it felt a bit weird to me that I didn’t have that side of the family’s surname (I still had the same surname as my mom, as we all used my dad’s surname, but I just didn’t feel like that was enough). When I was 17 I finally changed my surname and I added the surname from my mom’s side. That means I now have five names and a total of 36 letters in my name. Having both sides properly honored makes my name feel a lot more representative of me and it feels right. The fact that it’s long has literally never been a problem (I don’t live in the U.S., but I can’t imagine paper work is that different that it would affect your child’s life in a negative way)
Also, when I changed my surname, my mom started using both her surnames and I think she also prefers honoring both of the families that she is a part of
I have two middle names and it has never been a problem. I feel my second middle name really balances out my name, and it’s an honour name.
[name_f]My[/name_f] son also has 2 middle names (one from each of his living great grandfathers) and I love it that it’s a pretty special way to honour both my husbands side and my own.
I love the idea of honouring your child’s heritage and I think it’s so important. I love that you’ve given your MIL to pick the name too! That’s so special
Congratulations!!!
Thank you everyone for your well-thought responses. I love hearing others’ experiences with multiple middles and names that honor their heritage. This has been quite informative, you’ve all made two middles seem much less cumbersome than I believed they were. After reading responses, husband is now thinking the same thing Thanks, Berries.
I would use a second middle name on the birth certificate, I have two and it has never complicated things for me. Apart from that, I would also appreciate having part of my heritage in my officual name if it were my name.
