Help us PLEASE, our styles don't mesh

We found out yesterday we are having a girl! She will join big brother [name]Evan[/name] in [name]January[/name]. I have avoided talking about names much with my husband because it was a painful experience last time around. In most marital situations we get along great and rarely disagree, but when it comes to names, we don’t see eye to eye at all and I end up in tears everytime we try to talk about it.

Well, we had avoided the topic until last night, but that doesn’t mean I hadn’t spent hours upon hours on NB coming up with my list of potential names and falling in love with several of them. I show him the list and in 30 seconds he’s torn it to shreds and picks out 4 out of over 30 that he says “aren’t terrible”, but he doesn’t say he likes them either.

He agrees that we have different naming styles, but he will not make me a list! He says there is no point because we don’t like the same style, but I don’t know how to find a middle ground without knowing a range of what he likes, and I feel like I have exhausted my search for what I like. He says a list should only be 4 or 5 names max, but I like to start big then narrow it down through careful consideration, but he is a very black and white personality and makes a judgement and moves on.

So, maybe you can help figure out our middle ground for me and my stubborn but opinionated husband. I want us both to love, or at least really like the name.

Here are some of my favorites:
[name]Annelie[/name]/[name]Annalie[/name] (he says he likes the way it sounds but it looks funny on paper - like ‘anna’ ‘lie’ pn with a long I)
[name]Hadley[/name] (he used to say it was an old man name, but at least picked it as one of his 4 that wasn’t terrible)
[name]Molly[/name] (he says it’s a frumpy person’s name???)
[name]Tessa[/name] (don’t remember his comment)
I have many others. (the 4 he said weren’t terrible were [name]Hadley[/name], [name]Hailey[/name], [name]Natalie[/name], and [name]Mila[/name])

He did give me 3 names he likes:
[name]Jocelyn[/name] (I could grow to like this but our last name is [name]Johnson[/name], so this does not go at all, but he thinks it goes fine)
[name]Evelyn[/name] (he doesn’t see the problem that it is so close to [name]Evan[/name])
[name]Samantha[/name] (this is just blah to me and much to long for me)

I like shorter, less frilly, simple 2 syllable names, most that tend not to need a nn. He says he likes classic elegant sounding names that have a nn.

Sorry so long winded, just looking for a shoulder to cry on and some direction!

I like [name]Jocelyn[/name], but definitely don’t like it with your last name, way to matchy.

I know you said [name]Samantha[/name] is too long, so you probably wouldn’t like [name]Savannah[/name]? I just like it so much more than [name]Samantha[/name], and I think it goes great with [name]Evan[/name]. I agree tht [name]Evelyn[/name] is too close to [name]Evan[/name].

From your list I like [name]Hadley[/name] and [name]Molly[/name]. [name]Molly[/name] [name]Johnson[/name] is a singer in the U.S. I think, maybe not all that well known though.

Hang in there…it will all work out :slight_smile:

It sounds like he’s one of the (many, many) men who seem to like names from their own generation, which sound dated or a bit boring to those of us who like names :slight_smile:

Instead of asking for a longer list, maybe tell him the length of the list (a top 10/20?) that would give you a bit more to work with than just three options from him, but is a more specific request than just a longer list.

If he’s at a loss as to where to look for more names or finds name dictionaries overwhelming/not useful, there’s (plug in your favourite names, it spits out alternatives that are theoretically similar in style) and which treat names a bit differently from Nameberry/ Babynamewizard’s mapper and name voyager functions seem to appeal to guys more than other name resources. Might get him more engaged in the process anyways!

You could always start a new thread and ask for feedback on the ones that you and he both like, and maybe if other people back you up on the [name]Jocelyn[/name] [name]Johnson[/name] or [name]Evan[/name]/[name]Evelyn[/name] issue, he’ll reconsider :slight_smile:

or…if you could love [name]Hadley[/name], [name]Hailey[/name], [name]Natalie[/name], or [name]Mila[/name], sounds like you have a shortlist!

And if you’re looking for more ideas that are shorter, less frilly, simple, classic, elegant names of about 2 syllables (I’ll have to leave out the nn/no nn thing…):


Maybe you can have it both ways by finding a longer elegant name your husband likes that has a nn that is shrter and less frilly that goes with it.

I am thinking:
[name]Teresa[/name] nn [name]Tessa[/name]
[name]Malinda[/name] nn [name]Molly[/name]

Also similar to [name]Evelyn[/name] but not matching too much with [name]Evan[/name]:

Take heart, you found a great name for your son and you will for this child too. You have lots of time. Your husband has given you a hint -don’t give him a long list, and don’t give him all your favorites at once - with this you are just inviting him to shoot you down. next time you bring up the subject, bring 5 names. If he likes one, then keep it on the list and let him know that it may or may not be the one, but next time you will compair that keeper with a few others until you both love a name.

Best of luck!

Some suggestions based on your likes and his:

[name]Josie[/name] - close to [name]Jocelyn[/name], could be a nn, 2 syllables, [name]Jo[/name] is another possible nn
[name]Josephine[/name]/[name]Josephina[/name] - close to [name]Jocelyn[/name], nn could be [name]Josie[/name] or [name]Jo[/name]
[name]Annabelle[/name] - close to [name]Annalie[/name], possible nn of [name]Anna[/name], [name]Anne[/name], [name]Belle[/name]
[name]Natalia[/name] - close to natalie
[name]Hayden[/name] - close to [name]Hailey[/name] and [name]Hadley[/name]
[name]Milly[/name] - close to [name]Mila[/name] and [name]Molly[/name]
[name]Evangeline[/name] - close to [name]Evelyn[/name], possible nn of [name]Eve[/name], [name]Evie[/name]

Others that you guys might like:

Another suggestion, pick a long name that he likes and shorten it to a nn, for example, you like [name]Tessa[/name] so maybe go with [name]Theresa[/name] and shorten it to [name]Tessa[/name]. This way you both win… it’s just a matter of finding the right name.

Aaaaaah it’s tough isn’t it! It is not exactly the same for us, bit similar. I find names I like and he vetoes them :slight_smile:

But you both seem to like the ‘l’ sound!
[name]How[/name] about:

[name]Hazel[/name] (not sure about a nn)
[name]Amelie[/name] (bit like [name]Annalie[/name]/[name]Mila[/name], nn could be [name]Mila[/name])
[name]Libby[/name] ([name]Bee[/name] would be a cute nn)
[name]Adelyn[/name] (he seems to like -lyn… nn [name]Addie[/name] or even [name]Adley[/name])
[name]Adeline[/name] (As a compromise between -lyn and -lie endings?)
[name]Senna[/name] (in stead of [name]Tessa[/name]?)
[name]Lydia[/name] (Although these -ia ending names have 3-syl, they still sound short)

If you pick a first name without a good nn, perhaps the middle name can help out!
[name]Hazel[/name] [name]Etta[/name] --> [name]Hattie[/name] ? Or something…

I also think [name]Jocelyn[/name] [name]Johnson[/name] is too much btw!
Good luck…

Thought of a couple more similar in sound to a few of your favorites and his:


I agree with you, [name]Evelyn[/name] will not work will your son’s name, nor [name]Jocelyn[/name] with your last name. And he clearly doesn’t hold back on what he doesn’t like about your list, so maybe put [name]Molly[/name], [name]Tessa[/name] and [name]Annalie[/name] on the back burner for now…

If you both like (or can at least stand) [name]Hadley[/name], [name]Hailey[/name], [name]Mila[/name] and [name]Natalie[/name], I’d start there!

[name]Hadley[/name], [name]Hailey[/name], [name]Natalie[/name] and [name]Annalie[/name] (and [name]Molly[/name] too!) all end in the same sound.
SO maybe you’d both like: [name]Sadie[/name], [name]Sophie[/name], [name]Chelsea[/name], [name]Sydney[/name], [name]Marley[/name], [name]Holly[/name], [name]Maisie[/name], [name]Lily[/name], [name]Bethany[/name], [name]Chloe[/name], [name]Zoe[/name], [name]Abigail[/name] ([name]Abby[/name]), [name]Addison[/name] or [name]Adele[/name] ([name]Addy[/name]), [name]Madeline[/name] ([name]Maddy[/name]), [name]Jessica[/name] ([name]Jessy[/name]), [name]Charlotte[/name] ([name]Charlie[/name]), [name]Melissa[/name] or [name]Felicity[/name] (Lissy) or [name]Amelia[/name]/[name]Amelie[/name] ([name]Amy[/name])?

He seems to like the -lyn names, so again, how about [name]Madelyn[/name]/[name]Madeline[/name]? Or Caitlin? Or [name]Gwendolyn[/name]?

And, you both seem to have a few 3-syllable choices ([name]Annalie[/name], [name]Evelyn[/name], [name]Jocelyn[/name], [name]Samantha[/name]), so what about:
[name]Stephanie[/name], [name]Aurora[/name], [name]Delilah[/name], [name]Miranda[/name], [name]Genevieve[/name], [name]Lillian[/name] ([name]Lily[/name]), [name]Katherine[/name] ([name]Katie[/name]), [name]Isobel[/name], [name]Eliza[/name], [name]Sylvia[/name], [name]Elissa[/name]…

Here are some other ideas:
[name]Mila[/name] - [name]Camille[/name]? [name]Millicent[/name] ([name]Milly[/name])?
[name]Tessa[/name] - again, [name]Jessica[/name] ([name]Jess[/name], [name]Jessy[/name], [name]Jessa[/name]) or [name]Tressa[/name]
[name]Natalie[/name] - [name]Thalia[/name], [name]Talia[/name], [name]Thea[/name], [name]Natalia[/name]
[name]Annalie[/name] - [name]Annabel[/name], [name]Anna[/name], [name]Allison[/name] ([name]Allie[/name]), [name]Emily[/name], [name]Emilia[/name]
[name]Molly[/name] - [name]Maggie[/name], [name]Maisie[/name], [name]Milly[/name], [name]Holly[/name], [name]Mary[/name]

Such a frustrating situation, when your naming partner can’t see your side, or can’t seem to listen to reason! You two really [name]DO[/name] have different styles, but there is a little over-lap (with those lie/ly/ley enders, and with 3 syllable names).

Good luck finding something you two BOTH love for your little girl!

Though I think it’s completely inappropriate for him to tear down all of your names while offer little to none of his own, I’d say it’s a good compromise to use a longer name and then simply call her by a short name that you love. Your son got a short, simple name, so I think that would be “fair” as these things go.

What about something like?

[name]Esther[/name] nn [name]Tessa[/name]
[name]Annaliese[/name] nn [name]Anna[/name]
[name]Gwendolyn[/name] nn [name]Gwen[/name]
[name]Margaret[/name] nn [name]Molly[/name]
[name]Natalia[/name] nn [name]Tally[/name]

I don’t think your styles are that different. I like all the names you’ve listed.

a few ideas, since you like short maybe longer names w/ good shorter nns?

[name]Rosalie[/name] [name]Kate[/name] nn [name]Rosie[/name]
[name]Roxanne[/name] [name]Blake[/name] ([name]Roxy[/name] [name]Blake[/name])
[name]Heidi[/name] [name]Estelle[/name]
[name]Cecelia[/name] [name]Rose[/name] ([name]Lia[/name] or [name]Cecily[/name] or CeCe)
[name]Scarlett[/name] [name]Harper[/name]
[name]Whitney[/name] [name]Noelle[/name]
[name]Mallory[/name] [name]Hope[/name]
[name]Meredith[/name] [name]Ivy[/name] ([name]Edie[/name])