I’m going insane right now. I’m 7 months pregnant and my husband and I have very different name styles. He is so stubborn! He only likes 2 names: [name_m]Lucius[/name_m] and [name_m]Roderick[/name_m]. I hate both those names. [name_m]Lucius[/name_m] just sounds evil and people would call him “Louche the douche”, and we live in [name_m]Quebec[/name_m] and here the word “louche” means “lazy”. Not a good association. [name_m]Roderick[/name_m] I think is self explanatory. It’s just ugly. My family and his hate his names too except my dad who won’t give an opinion.
I like [name_m]Edward[/name_m] most. But I like a lot of names like [name_m]Harald[/name_m], [name_m]Oliver[/name_m], and [name_m]Arthur[/name_m] to give you an idea of my style. He said [name_m]Edward[/name_m] would be good for a second boy. It’s our first baby.
I have thrown him every single name you can imagine. All the eccentric but usable ones.
He’s dead set on the name [name_f]Amelia[/name_f] for a girl if we ever have one. I love [name_f]Jubilee[/name_f]. So I’m thinking maybe I’ll make him a deal and let him name the first name of this baby and I’ll name the next baby, girl or boy. I can pick the middle this time.
What do you guys think? Any name suggestions or general advice are really appreciated.
Hmm, well both of you are going to have to compromise a little if you’re going to name this baby together!
If you hate [name_m]Lucius[/name_m] and [name_m]Roderick[/name_m], and he hates [name_m]Harald[/name_m], [name_m]Oliver[/name_m] and [name_m]Arthur[/name_m], then take them all off the table, completely. You’re never going to happily agree on something if you’re always thinking of it as “second best” to the name you really want.
So start from scratch, perhaps with criteria you want from a name: do you want something traditional? Easy to spell and pronounce? Familiar or unusual? Solidly masculine or softer/unisex?
I think you need to do this before we can really offer suggestions, since you’re both stuck on a few names of very different styles for now. You need to both be genuinely on board with looking beyond those few names to find the perfect name for this baby, not an “if I had sole naming rights” baby or a hypothetical #2.
Hmm, well both of you are going to have to compromise a little if you’re going to name this baby together!
If you hate [name_m]Lucius[/name_m] and [name_m]Roderick[/name_m], and he hates [name_m]Harald[/name_m], [name_m]Oliver[/name_m] and [name_m]Arthur[/name_m], then take them all off the table, completely. You’re never going to happily agree on something if you’re always thinking of it as “second best” to the name you really want.
So start from scratch, perhaps with criteria you want from a name: do you want something traditional? Easy to spell and pronounce? Familiar or unusual? Solidly masculine or softer/unisex?
I think you need to do this before we can really offer suggestions, since you’re both stuck on a few names of very different styles for now. You need to both be genuinely on board with looking beyond those few names to find the perfect name for this baby, not an “if I had sole naming rights” baby or a hypothetical #2.
I agree with @katinka. I feel you both have to really like the name chosen and that if you keep looking with a open mind you will find it. Maybe each of you can start a new list of possibilities and see if there are any that the other agrees to keep on the list. Before you do that it would be a good idea to think about the criteria that is most important to each of you. Good luck! I’m sure you will find the perfect name.
Also, have you talked about potential nicknames for Edward? It might help your husband to picture a son called Teddy, Ted, Ed, Eddie/Eddy, Ned, Ward, etc.
Maybe you can keep [name_m]Edward[/name_m] on the table for a middle name? OR perhaps he likes [name_m]Edmund[/name_m]/[name_m]Edmond[/name_m]/[name_m]Edwin[/name_m]/[name_m]Edgar[/name_m] better? Here are a few more potentials:
Since you both have such different styles and preferences, how about taking a different approach to your firstborn? Is there someone or something you would like to honor? This may be a nice compromise for you - a meaningful name that has nothing to do with personal style.
I hope these lists help a little bit! I am sorry you are having such a tough time deciding on a name. Congratulations on your son and good luck with everything!
My husband gets really fixated on certain names, and has a hard time letting go. I’ve stopped letting him get away with immediately shooting down my suggestions. He still ends up hating most of them, but we at least talk it out. Our entire list are names that he’s had to “come around to.” But we managed to name one child already, and we both think her name is perfect. So there is hope!
Sometimes I force my husband to bring me a list of new names he likes. Because it sucks feeling like you’re doing all the name-hunting. Especially when he only ever shoots stuff down.
He tends to say a name in a really negative make-fun-of-it tone at first. So I ask him to try to say it like he’s talking to his child.
We have fun doing the “blind date test.” Throw a name out and you both get to describe the person you imagine when you just hear the name. It’s funny, and it sounds like you two really need to have some fun with this.
We lean on family names as middle names. Middle names are slightly less pressure, and it makes for an easy jumping-off point for finding a full name that flows well.
Honestly, it seems crazy that you both like [name_m]Edward[/name_m], but he wants to wait to use it… if you two are struggling this much, seize the one name you can agree on!
There’s great advice above! I agree that narrowing down the style you both want is a good way to start. Has he tried reading a baby name book from start to finish and highlighting the names he would even remotely consider? Then you could go over it after him and see if you like any of the same names. I just hate hearing these stories of dads-to-be being so unhelpful and dismissive! If he’s not willing to help search for a name then he can’t shoot down your ideas!
Going with [name_m]Edward[/name_m] for a boy and [name_f]Amelia[/name_f] for a girl is a great way to compromise. Agreed with the others, if he likes [name_m]Edward[/name_m], I don’t know why you would save that for later?! Would either of you be open to [name_m]Edward[/name_m] [name_m]Lucius[/name_m]?
I never thought to propose the idea of [name_m]Edward[/name_m] [name_m]Lucius[/name_m]. I would go for it! I’ll try to run that by him and if that doesn’t work I’ll do like a pp mentioned and try to find a name from a song or maybe a historic person or a family member we could name him after. That might help. If not the deal of [name_m]Edward[/name_m] and [name_f]Amelia[/name_f] sounds great!
I agree with other posters with Edward Lucius and Amelia Jubilee, not only a perfect pair that sound amazing together but a great compromise!!
Edward and Amelia sound lovely!
On reading Lucius and Roderick I have to admit they both sounded a bit harsh and I agree with your feeling on those. But having Lucius softened with Edward as a first, it becomes a name I quite like the sound of
Another suggestion would be Frederick. It’s softer than Roderick with the same nn option; Eric.
Good point from other posters in that you may not have another boy, or when you do, a close relative may have used Edward, taking it out of the question altogether. I’d use it while you can as it’s a name you both like.
Thanks everyone! I have yet to get a straight answer about [name_m]Edward[/name_m] [name_m]Lucius[/name_m] but he said so far that he thinks it sounds noble and that’s one thing he wants in a name. He said he would think about it. Going to get back to it in a few days, fingers crossed!