Help!!!!

My daughter is four weeks old. She sleeps well at night, only waking up to eat. However, during the day she will not sleep at all, unless she is in my lap or being held by me or someone else. I am a SAHM, and I need to be able to do housework, go to the bathroom, and at least get dressed in the morning (even if its just sweat pants). She hates her swing and only tolerates her bouncy chair sometimes. Any tips or advice?

Have you tried baby-wearing? With a sling or a wrap of sorts? The little guy I nannied for 4 years went through that stage when he was a few months old, it allowed me to accomplish a lot more!

Also, there’s the option of just setting her down, and leaving her to her own devices for a moment, while you get dressed especially! I realize this sometimes leads to a full scale freak out, but momma needs a moment sometimes!

@kibby - I haven’t tried a sling yet. I live in a rural area and they don’t have any slings at the local Walmart so I think I will be ordering one. And yes, Momma does need a moment sometimes. I mean, it’s a little hard to go to the bathroom holding a baby.

  1. I know everyone says that sleep begets sleep. But at almost 10 months old we find that if my son sleeps well during the day he doesn’t sleep well at night and vice versa. Usuallu you get good sleep at night or good day sleep, rarely both.

  2. I promise the falling asleep and only sleeping in your arms doesn’t last long at all. While it is happening it seems like forever but I promise in retrospect it isn’t and eventually you’ll miss it!

  3. [name_f]Do[/name_f] what you have to do. If you have to put her down for 10 minutes to get dressed, shower, or go to the bathroom, she will not die I promise. It’s like putting on your own oxygen mask before your child’s on an airplane. Seems selfish, but you have to be taken care of first to take care of her. I didn’t take this advice and I think if I had my son would be more easygoing.

  4. Know that this too shall pass. I found that with [name_u]Jem[/name_u], once he got to an age where I could distract him (maybe 4 months old) he was so much easier. Now I can set him on top of the dryer (with a hand on him) and he plays with the knobs while I switch the laundry out. I give him a toy and go the bathroom or take a quick shower while he watches a little curious [name_m]George[/name_m] (gotta do what you gotta do).

  5. As soon as this passes it’ll be something else. It is always something. Some phases are easier than others but largely it is just a matter of trying to make the best of it and knowing It goes by fast (even if it doesn’t seem so in the moment).

I’ll also suggest the ergo and the dr. Sears balboa sling! Both awesome carriers! [name_m]Just[/name_m] make sure if you get the ergo that it has the infant insert!

@babylove14 - thank you for all the advice and encouragement. It does feel horrible to put her down and let her cry to do some things, but it’s good to know that others feel the same. And thank you for the recommendations on slings, I’m going to get on Amazon and check them out now. :slight_smile:

I agree w/ what the previous posters say. Put her down for a few minutes. [name_m]Even[/name_m] very young babies should be getting tummy time so that their muscles and coordination develop properly. She’ll yell and be angry sometimes but she’ll get used to it. Otherwise you will lose your mind, girl!

Also, for the housework thing–either hire someone to help you (maybe just once a week or a few times a month) or just stick with the absolute basics for now. If you’re babywearing, I’ve found that my babies (who have all been average size) didn’t even fit in some of the infant carriers (snugli types) until they were like two months old; for the 0-6 months stage I really like the [name_m]Moby[/name_m] wrap best.

Hang in there, it’s stressful but you will get into the swing of it. [name_m]Don[/name_m]'t be afraid to ask for help from friends!!!

[name_u]Baby[/name_u] carrier x a million!

My youngest didn’t sleep in her bed in the day properly til she was three months. She was sleeping all night from about five weeks but in the day… She’d sleep for a few minutes then wake. I’d end up either carrying her around or letting her sleep on me. I have a manduca carrier - very similar to an ergo and useable fom birth. She had many of her day sleeps in there til three months when it was like a switch flicked and suddenly the bed was ok.

I think you should get a carrier if you can and just put baby in there for day sleeps. Try to remember everything is a phase and she will be different before you know it. The first baby is soooooo hard because you give everything away all at once. Going to the toilet gets hard. Cleaning the house is hard. Everything is so hard! But soon, things will be so much easier. With my 3rd baby I was wiping my 4 year olds bum whilst breastfeeding my baby, so gross I know!!! But I remember with my first I found getting dressed and showered and all that so hard. I still haven’t figured out the cleaning… [name_m]Ah[/name_m] well.

Good luck, I hope it gets easier soon, I know it will!

@mill1020 - thank you. :slight_smile: unfortunately hiring someone to help clean isn’t doable for us since I’m staying at home. I can ask friends to give me some help though. My LO was 6 lbs 8.2 ounces at birth so I will look into the [name_m]Moby[/name_m] that you talked about.

@lullabelletillybea- thank you. You definitely are helping me feel
better. I will definitely be getting a carrier.

Ladies, y’all are awesome! Thank you so much for all of the encouragement, support and advice. :slight_smile:

My son was just like this. I spent the first three months wearing him for most of the day. We loved the [name_m]Moby[/name_m] and the Ergo. He is three now and we still use the Ergo on long hikes.

If you are having trouble finding carriers in your area, a [name_m]Moby[/name_m] is extremely easy to DIY, no sewing required. It is really just a long strip of jersey fabric (and you can even pick up a T-shirt sheet at Goodwill for the fabric) there are loads of tutorials online.

I also really agree with the tummy time suggestion. This is crucial now that babies are put on their backs to sleep. Most babies don’t love it right off, but giving her plenty of time on the floor on her tummy is so important that you don’t need to feel guilty. The bonus is that this gives you time to switch the laundry or use the bathroom.

@tarynkay - thanks for telling me about the DIY [name_m]Moby[/name_m] wrap. :slight_smile:
I think she’s just about ready for tummy time now so hopefully that’ll give me time to go to to the bathroom or switch out the laundry. I’m glad to hear of someone else whose child was like this, it makes me feel good to know that many babies are like this, that its a phase (which while it is awesome snuggle and cuddle with my baby), still makes it difficult to do other things. I am definitely going to try baby wearing. Not only will it help me around the house, I think it’ll be great that I can take walks on our property with her on me and have my hands free.

jtucker - [name_m]Arthur[/name_m] is going through exactly the same thing right now! Gald to hear I’m not alone and great advice given too. [name_f]Hope[/name_f] things get easier for you soon, it’s so draining!

Jessieo - hoping it gets better for both of us soon. :slight_smile: it is draining. Are you baby wearing or planning on trying?

jtucker - I was planning to, I carry him around everywhere anyway, but most of the carriers like the ergo etc in Japan have bizarre newborn inserts (different than western countries), so just using a fabric sling right now which is still not really hands free. Might check out the moby aswell, my shoulders are killing me! I’m sure [name_f]Isla[/name_f] will start to give you little breaks soon, [name_m]Arthur[/name_m] surprised me today by watching the whole of ‘The Goonies’ on his play mat, which he usually hates! [name_f]Praise[/name_f] the lord.

@jessieo - glad he let you have a break! :slight_smile: I think I will try tummy time with her mat sometime this weekend. It’s been tough because we’ve had [name_u]Christmas[/name_u] festivities with family all week and it has been crazy. We have two more, one today and one tomorrow. I’m definitely looking forward to tomorrow’s because it is at my parents, so it’s much quieter and tummy time will be easier to do. Hopefully you find a carrier or sling that’s usable.

I agree with others here - it’s a phase that most newborns go through. It makes us feel like we’re on the brink of insanity, but it’s pretty normal.

I’m glad someone else pointed out to make your own moby, which is what I did. [name_m]Just[/name_m] google how to make your own moby wrap and you’ll find something. It gives you the dimensions and you just go get the fabric cut. The way they cut it, I actually had to go home and cut it in half so I ended up with two… for still less than half the price of an actual moby.

Oh my gosh, my [name_f]Lu[/name_f] was wide awake most of the day and slept incredibly well at night from the get go. I used an Ergo but it was very hit and miss – sometimes she loved it, sometimes she hated it and she also hated to have anything over her face or restrictive, which has made nursing in public well, very public and a moby wrap impossible. She also disliked her swing. I had to make do with easy meals, help from family and friends when they could (which wasn’t in abundance), and waiting till night time to get things done. This often meant not getting things done. I bathed with her in the tub, which meant a haphazard self-cleaning at best, and let her cry while I hurriedly dressed and brushed my teeth. I’ve learned to do a lot with one hand or 5-15 minutes of free time.

It’s hard when they are that little because they are only really interested in Mama, which is exactly how it should be. Survival instinct at its purest. Have you tried swaddling? Like full on really tight swaddling? She might respond well to that snug sense of security and then when she does fall asleep she won’t feel such a change when she is set down. This works for some babies and not for others (mine was a no go). There are a few different techniques to try. I highly recommend you give it a shot if you haven’t.

All babies are different, but at about 3-4 months she’ll probably show more interest in the world around her and with toys. Provide a lot of different contrasting colors and textures for her to explore, pictures to look at, etc. She still might not be a big sleeper during the day and prefer being held, but she may be more content – even if for more frequent brief periods. I also found that placing her as close to where I was working as possible helped a ton. “Tummy time” made her so incredibly angry until she started sitting / crawling, even when she could roll over both ways.

My [name_f]Lu[/name_f] 7 months later doesn’t sleep much during the day and sleeps wonderfully at night. When she does sleep during the day she wants to be held or its for 10 minutes. The only reason I get more done during the day now is because she enjoys playing and is able to sit up on her own and crawl. She’s more content to play on the floor and in her ExerSaucer.

Anyway, we’ve all been there and it can seem so long and encompassing, but it’s actually a very short period. If all else fails, go zen and only focus on the moment – sometimes I swear [name_f]Lu[/name_f] could tell when I wanted her to fall asleep just so I could set her down. I had to relax myself and put everything else aside.

@aym - thank you. :slight_smile:
She is doing better the last few days about sleeping a little during the day. She will either take a good nap in the morning or afternoon. She likes swaddling at night, but not so much during the day. She is doing better with her bouncer, she will tolerate it and sometimes even enjoy it. The swing is still a no go and tummy time is not to her liking quite yet. Lately she enjoys napping next to me if she lays in her nursing pillow as long as I am close by. So usually when I need to eat I just stick her in it right next to me and it seems to work. My carrier/wrap should be here soon. We will see if she likes it or not.

What kind of carrier did you end up getting?

I ended up with an Infantino sync comfort wrap carrier. It wraps, but still has a buckle in the back for more back support. It came in today and I tried it on with my little girl in it. She just slept on. I will be practicing putting it on and off while, but I think it’ll work well for getting a few household chores done and going walking on our property or at the local university.