I just came across this, and couldn’t stop laughing.
I actually really like Luxx and [name]Sharpay[/name]… But agreed. The article is hilarious!
I only had to read the title of the article to know that I agreed. Adler, [name]Bastian[/name], and [name]Zebulon[/name] aren’t terrible, but the rest… hmm.
I hated all the girls and liked 1 of the boys. I love [name]Bastian[/name] but more as a nickname for [name]Sebastian[/name]. I went to high school with a [name]Zebulon[/name] (who was of [name]German[/name] decent) and we called him [name]Zeb[/name].
All in all, I still love unique names but thought this was hilarious because he’s talking about yooneek names and I totally agree about those 
That was HILARIOUS. And so, so true. A parade of awful names.
Thanks for sharing rin!
I think the worse one comes from the comments La-a ( prn la-dash-uh). The dash isn’t silent… My mind can’t comprehend why anyone would ever name their child La-a, or any of the others on that list. Awful.
this is great! so funny!
its good for the nerd to get a good to laugh at herself and occasionally say, haha yeah, it’s a bit silly.
Oh man I loved it! The Blayde and Nyfe comment was hilarious too.
I don’t mind [name]Bastian[/name] but some of those names are ridiculous.
I’m so glad in Australia we have laws that restrict names like La-a (Names which are impractical to use because they contain characters with no phonetic significance eg J @ yne, Jasm!ne, J00lia, Jnnf*r or Je$$ica).
Wow, the author is pretty good at calling it like it is.
My favorite:
[name]Fallyn[/name] “I’d like my daughter to sound like a dystopian young adult novel, please.”
So good. Loved it!
Hilarious!!
I loved the [name]Fallyn[/name] one too. This article made me cry. 
You know the more I stare at those names the less bizarre some of them look.
Adler - follows the surnames as first name trends and has a trendy -er. Though all I can think of is the [name]Black[/name] Adler.
[name]Chesney[/name] - another surname but does follow the trend of naming your child after someone famous ([name]Kenny[/name] [name]Chesney[/name]) thus making it silly to me.
[name]Zebulon[/name] - a biblical name. [name]One[/name] I find rather strange and I agree with the writer’s comments, but it is an established name.
[name]Bastian[/name] - started off as short for [name]Sebastian[/name] and has morphed into its own name in some nations. Nothing really strange about it except that it looks a bit like bastard.
As someone with a -son last name I really can’t stand any first names with -son in them or Mc/[name]Mac[/name].
Jerrika - [name]Jerrica[/name] [name]Benton[/name] is the real name and civilian identity of [name]Jem[/name] from the old '80s cartoon. Considering the familiarity of [name]Jericho[/name] and [name]Erica[/name] this isn’t exactly surprising. [name]Jerrica[/name]'s little sister’s name [name]Kimber[/name] is on the top 1000. That being said Jerrika looks a lot more stupid than [name]Jerrica[/name] and I wouldn’t name a child after a cartoon character (though one of my cats Meroko is). Being part of the [name]Jem[/name] community I can tell you I only know of one little [name]Jerrica[/name] (with this spelling) all the others are on the top 1000 and fairly high on it at that and I don’t know of any Kimbers.
Harvest - doesn’t look that bad on paper but does look bad in reality for the aforementioned jokes she’ll get in high school.
Luxx - [name]Lux[/name] with one x pronounced louks like Dukes is a legitimate Latin name, but the default pronunciation for most is lucks and with sucks and a swear word. Surprised he didn’t mention [name]Huckleberry[/name] and [name]Tucker[/name] for the same reason. Personally, I really can’t stand these names for that reason. If you can’t play the name game/banana song without swearing, it’s not that great of a name.
[name]Kayleen[/name] - I know of one. She’s one of my childhood friend’s little sister, probably entering her mid 20s now. Fits more with dated names like [name]Darlene[/name] and -een sounding names have a reputation of being hickish (except for ones that didn’t get popular from that time like [name]Delphine[/name]). Permanently imbedded in my head as a wild 3 to 6 years old.
Outside of [name]Bastian[/name] they’re either hideous or just following trends that I don’t care for.
La-a doesn’t exist. Complete urban legend. Going off of internet comments she’s anywhere from her early 20s to a very small child. When someone expressed interest in tracking her down the commenters quickly clamp up. No one has found any of La-a’s social security cards, no school records, no photos, no other records. La-a’s mother or La-a herself always speaks in a broken ebonics and is always stated to be black or at least heavily implies it. Yet, I can quickly and easily find photos of [name]Jed[/name] I. [name]Knight[/name]. Until I see evidence it’s just a racist urban legend.
That being said, like any other sane person I have lingering nightmarish thoughts of my hypothetical child coming home from school crying because I couldn’t give him/her a “normal” name and the kids making fun of him/her are Anniestyn, Blayde, and Sketch.
I like [name]Bastian[/name] (not for me, but in general it’s a totally legit, sturdy name), and Adler isn’t bad but the others… this author called it well, haha.
“There’s a bizarre assumption that if you can make your child’s name unique, the child will be unique. And that’s NEVER the case.”
OMG, yes! This is so true!
I really like the name [name]Brylee[/name] though…
This is hilarious. And pretty spot-on.
But I actually like a few of the names:
BOYS:
Adler
[name]Bastian[/name]
[name]Chesney[/name] - kind of growing on me
[name]Zebulon[/name] - not sure I’d be brave enough to use it, but I like the nn [name]Zeb[/name]
GIRLS:
Annyston - but spelled [name]Anniston[/name] or Aniston (hate the y trend)
Luxx - but spelled [name]Lux[/name]. The double xx looks ridiculous
[name]Brylee[/name] - but spelled [name]Briley[/name]…this is our dog’s name, haha
I hate most of the unique spellings for the girls. Bleh.
I was a bit put off by all the swearing at the beginning, but this guy has got it right on!