My first grader is losing her “spark” for school this year. [name_f]Clara[/name_f] LOVED pre-k and kindergarten (her preschool offered a kindergarten program and we kept her there. We were so blessed to find such a great school). She’s always had a love for school/learning. She started reading at 3, loves tinkering with things. She got a set of goldieblox on her last birthday and put them at the top of her list for [name_f]Santa[/name_f] - she’s also working on building a dollhouse with her dad. So the issues she’s having in school aren’t related to learning difficulties.
She used to come home from school and talk non stop about what she was learning and things like that. This year I ask her and I get nothing. At parent teacher conferences a few weeks ago her teacher admitted that she seems bored with the work. She said she put in a request for gifted ed services, but our district doesn’t start gifted classes until 3rd grade. As a teacher I know and understand why that is. As a parent though it frustrates me to see my daughter not being able to exercise her mind.
My husband and I have been tossing around the idea of home schooling, at least for a few years. I was wondering what peoples experience with homeschooling is?
Homeschooling is on the table for us. [name_m]Both[/name_m] my husband and I spent years bored in school, even with gifted programs. He ended up being homeschooled from 3rd or 4th grade through graduation, and in most ways it was the best option for him. His parents were unfortunately of the uber religious “shelter your child from all things that you don’t understand” ilk, so there was some adjusting and catching up to do, socially. Like most things, I think it’s success relies on the approach and the follow through. I know many home schooling families, and they range from turning out doctors and lawyers to drop outs and delinquents.
We were thinking of at least trying to home school our children until eighth grade. When I was in school a kid was home schooled but came for band and orchestra, and since I would only be able to teach one instrument I think that would be a great option. I don’t know if you’re able to integrate your children slowly into their school, but I think that would help get them used to the other kids at their school.
[name_f]Hope[/name_f] this helped,
[name_f]Rose[/name_f]
Is it possible for your daughter to skip a grade if she’s ahead of everyone else in her class? I knew a few people who did that (and actually one of them was still the top of the class, even being a year younger than everyone else).
Yeah. I was offered the very same thing when I was a kid. My dad wanted me to play with kids my own age (I remember he said “she is not even the oldest in her class, let her play for a bit”) so he turned it down. I respect his decision but truth to be told, I also regret it for years.
It’s not an option for us unfortunately. She’s already the youngest in her class. [name_f]Clara[/name_f] was just 6 in [name_f]September[/name_f]. Most of her classmates are turning 7. Her school separates the kids by birthdays, but they decided to put clara with te older first graders. If she skipped up she’d be 2 years younger then everyone else. Now in primary grades it won’t make a difference. But when she hits middle school/high school it will make a HUGE difference. (Her teacher did offer that as an option).
She’s not a discipline problem - she always finds a way to occupy herself. But she’s just disinterested. We have a meeting with the school after the holidays to try and come up with a plan. My husband suggested homeschooling since I will be home with the baby, and not returning to the classroom for a few years. It wasn’t something is considered before. I’m a big believer in public education. But I want my daughter to get the best education possible.
What do you know about the gifted program in your area? My nephew was in the gifted program and all it amounted to was extra worksheets. It was a joke. Gifted programs vary a lot, so find out all you can about yours before signing her up.
As to homeschool, we have considered it. We know quite a few homeschooling families around here. It looks different for everyone, but our state apparently makes it pretty easy to do. A lot of our friends participate in homeschool co-ops. Some of her curriculum can be very expensive, though many people tell me that Ambleside Online is both free and fantastic.
Our son is only 2, so I don’t know what we will ultimately do. Maybe you could start out homeschooling her after school, just doing supplemental learning at home with her and see how it goes. My parents did a lot of this, and I never put together that we were doing extra school until I was an adult. We did astronomy, mechanics, chemistry, and carpentry with my dad and reading, cooking, baking, sewing, budgeting, and grocery shopping with my mom. They were always signing us up for extra art, language, and music classes in the community as well.
I think homeschool can be great, it really depends on the parents and the particular kid. But it is also not a terrible thing for her to learn to make things work at school, even when she isn’t feeling very challenged by the material. It is a good thing to learn how to handle boredom, too. These are very helpful skills in the real world.
We have good friends whose daughter is bored at school- she is seven and very academically advanced. She is also kind of a know-it-all. I mean, I love her, but she is. They told her that since she feels like she already knows everything, now is a good time to learn to be kind and patient and help the teacher. They have talked to her teacher and the teacher has allowed her help with all kinds of little classroom tasks.
In the end, it all depends on what works best for you and your family. [name_m]Will[/name_m] you have the time and energy to homeschool while taking care of the baby? [name_f]Do[/name_f] you know people locally who do it? If not, is there a support group you can join? What are the laws and regulations in your area regarding homeschooling? What kind of curriculum would you want to follow? [name_m]Will[/name_m] you have to pay for state testing?
What you are describing with your dd is exactly what led us to begin homeschooling when our oldest was 3 years old. She was very advanced and I continued to give her more to do at home…it just seemed natural that if she enjoyed counting and could grasp simple addition that we’d move on to a little more complex addition ya know? (as one example). It was at the point where, when she was 4, I could not imagine sending her to school for fear she’d be bored. There was a school specifically for gifted children in our city (approx 1 yr accelerated curriculum) and she interviewed when she was 4. They offered her enrollment, but our family situation changed and she wasn’t able to attend-- we continued to homeschool. It was the best choice for our family.
It’s been some time since I really spent much time reading about gifted education. I know most programs do not start until 2-3 grade because that is when many experts belive that kids “level off” – I guess it’s not as uncommon for children to be early readers, better at math, or excel in other areas… but around the 2nd or 3rd grade they sorta all catch up with each other unless they are quite advanced. I don’t know how much I really buy into that because what standards are we using to evaluate that kids are “leveling off” --is it just that the advanced kids have stopped being so “enthusiastic” after years of being bored? is it that we haven’t challenged everyone enough so everyone can achieve the lower standards?
I read a great book called “Genius Denied” which talks about how our public schools are failing the smartest ones in the bunch. (((attention everyone – please don’t turn this into a “is my child gifted” “stop bragging about your child being gifted” etc convo!!))) I’ve also read articles (I can dig a few of my favs up if you would like) which really break things down and make you wonder. Let me give you one example that really hit home for me and DH. 100 is the average IQ. (and yes, IQ testing or measuring is not perfect) a child who is 1 standard deviation below the average (30 points = 1 standard deviation) – IQ 70 will likely be receiving special education services. They may or may not be able to be in a regular classroom due to the pace or material covered. They might feel like a “fish out of water” in some regards being in a classroom of average (100 IQ) children. However they can usually be accomodated. The other side of the scale, a child with a 130 IQ may be eligible for gifted programs …which, as you’ve pointed out don’t usually start until 2nd grade, may only include extra worksheets, might just be a pull-out program for 1 hr a week to do an extra curricular class, etc. Some schools have stand-alone gifted classes and those may be what the 130 IQ child needs. [name_m]Just[/name_m] as the child with a 70 IQ feels out of place in the standard classroom, the 130 IQ child does too… yet very little is done for the “gifted” child. When you go 2 standard deviations from the average it is even more apparent. a Child with 40 IQ is definitely in a special classroom, but a child with a 160 IQ is told to slow down, help other students, or do an extra worksheet.
We chose to homeschool so our daughter could continue to learn at her own pace whether she leveled off by 2nd grade or not. She, in my opinion, never has experienced that leveling off. Over the years I did learn that we had to “slow down” on some of the core items though – and just continue to add in “enrichment” type classes. For example, we have chose not to do extra history, reading/language arts, and science classes each year in our curriculum, but for [name_m]Math[/name_m]…she takes an online class through [name_m]Stanford[/name_m] so she can continue to go several years ahead. She likes to learn languages so she fills in her free time with [name_f]Rosetta[/name_f] [name_m]Stone[/name_m] Mandarin!
Homeschooling is such a broad topic and I’m sorry if I’ve already rambled. To answer your specific questions and echo what others said – there are so many resources for homeschooling out there. Co-ops are great if you live in a larger city or suburb area. Parents join together to offer classes to the group of kids – either taught by professionals or the parents…depends on the co-op. We’ve only been part of “specials” co-ops for extracurricular classes like art, PE, literature, etc. Parents teach classes they are experts on or just enjoy teaching. I taught the high schoolers in the group yoga for example because I’m a certified instructor and a few of the girls in the co-op wanted to learn yoga. One mom wanted to do a drama class so my oldest was in that class one “semester.”
Curriculum varies. You can have something that is basically all online where you just monitor her progress or you can have more interactive where you present lessons (from plans they give you)…or do it freestyle and make your own lessons and topics from scratch! If you aren’t fully on board with the homeschool thing, you could try maybe “afternoon schooling” with your DD – find a topic she likes and build a little lesson or assignment around it a few days a week after school. Go to the library and have her pick out books she likes and spend time going through those after school. This would allow her to continue to stay with her age-mates in school but still get a little extra at home. You could see if the local community college offers classes for kids either at night or on weekends. Some large colleges also offer “Super [name_m]Saturday[/name_m]” – enrichment classes for kids (some are only open to “gifted” (tested) kids). Our oldest went to those for several years and loved them.
We use a multi-age program now where I teach the same daily lesson to our girls and then they do assignments associated with it based on their age. The program is from My Father’s World. We previously used Sonlight and I really liked that alot, but it was too time consuming for me to do two separate daily lessons with the girls and help them with all the other assignments that come from the “core” stuff.
I really love homeschooling my girls because I’ve learned so much myself and I love watching them learn too! The two oldest are going to be in school next year when we move – it’s a small boarding school that we’ll be living on the campus of so it makes sense for them to attend – and I think I’ll miss teaching them! I think I’ll probably start “home-preschooling” our 3 year olds at that point!
[name_m]Feel[/name_m] free to ask me other questions. It’s one of those topics I could talk about for days so I’m really not sure where to go with ideas and suggestions for you.
Standard deviation for IQ is actually 15, and >2 standard deviations from the mean is considered statistically exceptional (5% of the population) in a normal distribution.
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Can you tell I’m studying statistics?
I hear what you are saying about standard deviations and children feeling out of place in a regular classroom. And yet, most school districts now are moving towards mainstreaming children with lower IQs- meaning that a child with a 70 or even 40 IQ could be sitting in the regular classroom, participating as much as possible. Oftentimes, a special ed teacher comes into the regular classroom and works with those who need it rather than pulling kids out. There is definitely a movement away from pulling kids out of the regular classroom because educators believe that it is valuable for all of the students to have the experience of including everyone. Students with cognitive difficulties also do better when they are surrounded by higher functioning peers.
My husband went to a public magnet school for the gifted from third grade until graduating high school. In some ways, it was a wonderful and enriching experience. In other ways, he says that it has really hindered him in life. [name_f]Every[/name_f] single classmate had IQ of 130 or over. That is just as limiting as every single person you know having an IQ of 70 or below. IQ is, after all, just a single measure of intelligence.
Our son is two, so I have no idea what his IQ will be when he is in third grade. But even if he qualified for the school my husband attended, I wouldn’t send him.
That was @crunchymama. I’m all for mainstreaming kids as much as possible. Sometimes they can be fully integrated, sometimes it’s just for classes like art and PE. Sometimes exceptionally bright children can get so bored they start acting out in school. Some kids really need to be challenged constantly, and just thrive on it. Hopefully, that challenge can happen in a classroom of similarly-aged students. [name_u]Bright[/name_u] children may be advanced academically, but they’re still at the same level emotionally, socially and physically as their peers.
We are homeschooling this year (Kindergarten). It’s not something I ever planned to do, but my husband travels a lot for work and at this stage I feel that us all being together as a family is more important than my son attending traditional school. He is not a child that would do well switching schools every 3-6 months.
I have to say, it was a rough start. I have a lot of classroom experience (worked as a teacher’s assistant in college, 1st and 3rd grades, and taught summer school math to rising 9th graders) and have worked in underprivileged communities where schools were rife with behavioral problems. It is SO different when it’s your own kid, lol! However…after the initial adjustment period it has been wonderful. We are able to spend very little time on “formal” schooling, which frees us up to do a host of other things (piano lessons, art classes, etc.) as well as the age-appropriate amounts of play which are sadly missing from most public school curriculums these days.
My son is also getting so far ahead that I am concerned he will be bored when we put him in school later on. I’m actually not sure what to do about this…for now we are just going at his pace and will see where we end up. I thought about trying to slow down, but it seems silly to stop his learning just to conform to what public schools are doing.
I’m glad you are not considering skipping your daughter - I think this is often a mistake.
Yes, you are correct… This is what I get for my late night posting! As soon as my head hit the pillow last night I realized I mistyped/quoted 30 instead of 15. lol. Makes a lot more sense for 15!! Sorry all. The concept of what I was attempting to explain is the same though… [name_m]Just[/name_m] think of it more along the lines of a child with an 85 iq compared to 115. The 70 and 130 would be more along the lines of higher extremes, but still realistic and in the standard bell curve.
When our DD was tested (age 4) she was in that <3-5% of the population area of the curve. As I mentioned earlier, she really has not leveled off, but she has found a few specialty areas and we, as her parents do not do as much worrying as we used to… Hence me not doing a lot of research on the topic in many years.
My paternal grandmother was a one-room school teacher, and her kids, including my father, were all varying levels of “gifted” as it would be described now. This resulted in my father graduating high school at 16, my uncle at 16, and my aunt at 14. When my teachers recommended that I skip a grade in kindergarten, and then again in third grade, my father was very firmly against it. He said that high school was a social nightmare for him and his siblings because of the age difference, and I can imagine it would be even worse today, particularly with the hyper-sexualization of middle school and high school students. I am glad that I never skipped a grade. I was intellectually very mature, but I was no more emotionally mature or socially mature than my classmates, and I think it would have made those awkward years far worse.
As far as homeschooling goes, I think it would probably be fine as long as your child has opportunities for socialization. In many fields, social awareness and interpersonal skills are as important to career success as intelligence. My recommendation for older gifted kids would be frequent trips to the library and websites with free college lectures. I went to a very poor public school and pretty much wore out library cards teaching myself things that our school didn’t cover, particularly in science and history.
For a slightly different opinion, I am a gifted student who’s been tossed to the wayside by the public school system. My parents were offered the choice to skip me up a grade and chose not to, but now I’m graduating high school in three years instead of four. In my school system, gifted programs start in kindergarten but only go through the sixth grade. If you truly feel that your daughter isn’t getting the education she needs and you’d rather not skip her up to where she would be two years younger, then by all means homeschool her! I speak from experience when I say that there are few things worse than being bored throughout your entire school career.
Thanks everyone! We’re still on the fence and leaning towards keeping her in traditional school. We have a meeting set up on the 7th with the school to see if we can come up with a solution. Her teacher agrees that she’s definitely disenchanted with school and THAT is the issue I’m concerned with more so then boredom.
She takes dance and plays floor hockey, as well as library book club. She’s pretty active and social. I just want her to like school, first grade is too young to have that attitude!
Maybe it’s just a phase or she isn’t clicking with the teach this year? [name_f]Hope[/name_f] things get better with her attitude. I agree it’s sad that she’s having complaints in 1st grade, but no reason to jump to conclusions that it will always be that way! (sorry if I implied it would be in my previous post).
Let the teacher or other administrator or counselor if possible know of your concerns and maybe they can help encourage her more in school or create a plan for more extracurriculars for her. Good luck!
We were involved with a wonderful local Sudbury school for nearly 5 years and this fall chose to do homeschool. So far it’s going great, granted we have an awesome group of friends who also HS or do alternative schooling so I feel the kids aren’t missing out.
Skipping a grade really is a good option. Some people worry about age, but I never found it to be an issue. I skipped 7th grade and 10th grade, so I was a bit older than your daughter, but even in 11th grade being two years younger than everyone made no difference. I still had friends, I never struggled socially.
Also, how about private school? I understand tuition can be too much for a lot of people but they, depending on the school, can have highly advanced courses. I teach at one and can attest to that.
