We’re planning to start a family soon, so of course I’ve been working on a a set of names for (potentially) 2-3 children.
I thought I had it all worked out with [name_f]Betty[/name_f], [name_f]Lavender[/name_f], [name_f]Briar[/name_f] (boy), and [name_u]Robin[/name_u] (boy).
Suddenly a new name came up - Maximillia. My husband is [name_m]Maximilian[/name_m] ([name_u]Max[/name_u]) after his grandfather, and my grandmother was [name_f]Betty[/name_f] [name_f]Maxine[/name_f]. I think Maximillia is really quite beautiful and feminine, and the natural everyday version would be “[name_f]Millie[/name_f]” since the stress is on the third syllable.
However, if I want to put it on my list, something else has to go… I think I would be happy with any of these options, so I’d really like some other people’s opinions. I know I’m over obsessing here, so I need to hear a fresh point of view!
Option one: [name_m]Don[/name_m]'t plan to use it. It is nice, but the original plan is better.
Option two: Name our first daughter [name_f]Betty[/name_f] Maximillia to honor both great grandparents (especially [name_f]Betty[/name_f] [name_f]Maxine[/name_f]) and her father.
Pro: This is such a special name, all of the family would be touched. If we only have one girl, then we used all the honor names, and there is no one left out.
[name_u]Con[/name_u]: The other children would have no honor names while the first girl would have a triple honor name.
Option 3: Replace [name_f]Lavender[/name_f] with Maximillia.
Pro: If we have two girls, we’d have [name_f]Betty[/name_f] and [name_f]Millie[/name_f]. Adorable! Each would have an honor name. It also means that [name_f]Betty[/name_f] is not the only child without a nature name.
[name_u]Con[/name_u]: Maximillia is long and the style doesn’t match the other children’s names, and I refuse to change [name_f]Betty[/name_f] to a longer formal version. It would be more difficult for people to spell and pronounce correctly when she needed to use her full name.
Which is better? [name_f]Lavender[/name_f] or Maximillia? I don’t know which I prefer.
Option 4: Use Maximillia as the second girl’s middle name: [name_f]Lavender[/name_f] Maximillia.
Pro: We use the name, and the honor names are spread out.
[name_u]Con[/name_u]: The name is hidden, so it isn’t really equivalent to a first-name honor name. It also leaves [name_f]Betty[/name_f] as the only name that isn’t nature themed (which doesn’t bother us, but it might bother other people).
In my opinion, I think you should go with option 4. You said that you “had it all planned out with [name_f]Betty[/name_f], [name_f]Lavender[/name_f], [name_f]Briar[/name_f] and [name_u]Robin[/name_u]” and it seems like you were happy with that. I know how tempting it is to shirk a favorite, or at least stray from what you originally wanted, when you come across a new name love, but that truly makes things messy and you find yourself doubting what you really want.
[name_f]Lavender[/name_f] Maximillia is a fine name! You’d get to use what you love and your child would have her own name in addition to the honor names. To address your concerns, I don’t think that using an honor name as a middle names makes it any less special or important. You still would be choosing to use the name of loved ones it still counts. I don’t think that [name_f]Betty[/name_f] would necessarily be the odd one out, either. Yes, you have a point that her name would be nature-themed, but I truly don’t think other people would find that a big deal. Now, something like [name_f]Betty[/name_f] and [name_f]Jaylynn[/name_f] would definitely be odd to see, but not everyone comes up with a themed sibset. Besides, if you don’t have children currently, you aren’t quite “locked in” to anything. You could have two boys, one of each, or so on.
Agree with a previous poster–I’m voting for the imaginary option #5: use Maximillia or [name_f]Lavender[/name_f] on a third daughter! I would personally use [name_f]Betty[/name_f], then Maximillia, then [name_f]Lavender[/name_f] (if you had three girls).
On that note, I would suggest you come up with another boy name as well, in case you have three boys. Or twins. Or triplets! Who ever knows?
I really appreciate the responses, everyone has great advice. It seems like using Maximillia as a middle name for a second girl is the most popular option. It makes good sense.
Now this option 5 is interesting too, and it really did not occur to me. My husband always said two kids would be the limit, and I always wheedled for one or two more (I come from a large-ish family). So the name list, which has been in serious development for more than a year now, was for two children. Only recently did he concede that three children would be fine too. Of course I was delighted, but I really didn’t think of expanding my name list. There has always been a “runner-up” list (which right now consists of [name_f]Maple[/name_f] and [name_f]Gweneth[/name_f]) but Maximillia is more meaningful.
So now we have it limited to two choices:
Option four: Use [name_f]Lavender[/name_f] Maximillia for a second girl. (A third girl would likely be [name_f]Maple[/name_f] or [name_f]Gweneth[/name_f].)
Option five: Use Maximillia as a first name in the case or a second or third girl.
[name_f]Betty[/name_f], [name_f]Lavender[/name_f], and [name_f]Millie[/name_f]
[name_f]Betty[/name_f], [name_f]Millie[/name_f], and [name_f]Lavender[/name_f]
I would vote for option 4, because I think it would be quite confusing to have a first name that is so similar to another member of the close family (your husband). I also think that [name_f]Lavender[/name_f] Maximillia sounds great.
If you have three girls, [name_f]Maple[/name_f] or [name_f]Gweneth[/name_f] would make excellent choices!
It´s really hard to make a decision so soon, so I would recomend you to relax and wait to see what happens! You have chosen amazing names, and I am sure that when the times comes you will make the rigth decision.
I prefer Maximillia to [name_f]Lavender[/name_f].
I like [name_f]Betty[/name_f] & [name_f]Millie[/name_f] as siblings better than [name_f]Betty[/name_f] & [name_f]Lavender[/name_f].
So, is there a chance of using Maximillia [name_f]Lavender[/name_f]? That would get me vote, but if not I agree with the pp’s that option 4 is the best.
[name_m]Calm[/name_m] down. Believe me, I understand about obsessing over names. But here’s the thing, your life will not go as planned. Go ahead and add another name to your short list of favorites, then be prepared to be flexible. If you and your husband agree on this very short list of favorite names, congratulations! You’re already past a big hurdle. Keep those few names, add one or two, drop one or two, change up how you honor family members - as the years pass and you move from theory to reality, and as you personally change, you’ll find the right names at the right time. Start with this list, but realize it’s a starting point, not an end in and of itself.
Agree with this. Having a very rigid, structured plan for names could backfire if you don’t think one/any of the names suit/s your future daughter/s, or if you only have boys. I’d try have a bit more of a “wing it” attitude - have your favourites, but wait and see what suits your future children.
Having said that, I think [name_f]Betty[/name_f] & Maximillia “[name_f]Millie[/name_f]” are very well suited to one another.
[name_f]Lavender[/name_f] & [name_u]Robin[/name_u] make an amazingly sweet sibset, and I love [name_f]Lavender[/name_f] Maximillia; Maximillia fits so well as a middle name with [name_f]Lavender[/name_f]! Not sure that I like Maximillia as a first. [name_f]Betty[/name_f] [name_f]Maxine[/name_f] is also very cute, but [name_f]Betty[/name_f] Maximillia isn’t my favorite combo tbh, it feels a bit stuffy to me, though I do love that you chose it as a name that honors both sides of your family. If it were me I would go with [name_f]Lavender[/name_f] Maximillia for number one if they’re a girl, but maybe it will be easier to choose once you meet them?
Personally I think [name_f]Betty[/name_f] and Maximillia don’t sound like siblings, even if [name_f]Millie[/name_f] is the every day version. I like [name_f]Millie[/name_f] and [name_f]Lavender[/name_f] better, or a longer form of [name_f]Betty[/name_f] like [name_f]Elizabeth[/name_f]. I do like the name though.
it still counts. I don’t think that [name_f]Betty[/name_f] would necessarily be the odd one out, either. Yes, you have a point that her name would be nature-themed, but I truly don’t think other people would find that a big deal. Now, something like [name_f]Betty[/name_f] and [name_f]Jaylynn[/name_f] would definitely be odd to see, but not everyone comes up with a themed sibset. Besides, if you don’t have children currently, you aren’t quite “locked in” to anything. You could have two boys, one of each, or so on.
Believe me, I understand about obsessing over names. But here’s the thing, your life will not go as planned. Go ahead and add another name to your short list of favorites, then be prepared to be flexible. If you and your husband agree on this very short list of favorite names, congratulations! You’re already past a big hurdle. Keep those few names, add one or two, drop one or two, change up how you honor family members - as the years pass and you move from theory to reality, and as you personally change, you’ll find the right names at the right time. Start with this list, but realize it’s a starting point, not an end in and of itself.