I’ve been running a situation in my mind for awhile now and I’d like some outside perspective.
I want to name a potential future daughter after two of my sisters. While our relationship has had its usual sibling-type ups and downs, I love them dearly. After some thinking, I decided to combine their middle names (Marie and Morgan) to make [name_f]Maren[/name_f]. It would most likely be used as a middle name.
I’ve had this idea for a few years and I’ve always loved it. However, there’s a hitch: my very…problematic…SIL also has the middle name [name_u]Marie[/name_u]. I can’t convey how much I do not want my child to be named after this woman. We are virtually no contact but still. The love of my sisters manages to outweigh the feelings towards SIL. I’d also make it very clear who potential baby would be named after, so part of me wants to just think of the situation as an unfortunate coincidence and use [name_f]Maren[/name_f] anyway.
But what would you do? Would you still use a name that you love and that honors people you loved if it was shared by someone you don’t like?
@namergirl3 In your situation, I believe I would. From reading this, I can tell how much you love your sisters. I know it would be meaningful to all of you. I’ve had a similar experience with a common name recently.I think I’ve decided that I love the name so much as a first or middle, or as as a derivative, so it doesn’t matter that much. If it honestly is what you want to do and it makes you think of your sisters more than it does your SIL, then go for it! [name_u]Love[/name_u] [name_f]Maren[/name_f], by the way!!
[name_f]Hope[/name_f] this helps!
I’d still use [name_f]Maren[/name_f]. It’s a clever honour and a lovely name - plus, I think the people in your life who would guess that it’s an honour would be more likely to assume it was for your sisters. I also think [name_f]Maren[/name_f] and [name_u]Marie[/name_u] are different enough in vibe that I wouldn’t jump to that connection anyway.
I’d say what’s important here is do you hear [name_f]Maren[/name_f] and immediately think of your SIL? Is the first name going to be anything at all like SIL’s?
A few alternative ideas if you want them:
Summary
[name_u]Marie[/name_u] and [name_u]Morgan[/name_u] both have ‘sea’ related meanings - so something like [name_f]Cordelia[/name_f] might work?
I think you up should use it. [name_f]Maren[/name_f] is a lovely way to honor both of your sisters.At least where I am [name_u]Marie[/name_u] is a pretty common middle name and you’ve made it clear you would be honoring your sisters. I think using [name_f]Maren[/name_f] as an honor would be very special to you and your sisters. Also [name_f]Maren[/name_f] is a great name!
Thank you all for the feedback so far! I also love the love [name_f]Maren[/name_f] is getting I do feel better after reading your thoughts on it.
@Greyblue
[name_m]Ah[/name_m], that’s a great question! That made me realize I hear [name_f]Maren[/name_f] and think about my sisters, childhood memories, etc. and only as an afterthought do I think about SIL. I think I only think about her because I’ve been stressing about this for so long and not because it reminds me of her. I’m not super sure what first name we’d go with but one of them is actually close to her first name. [name_m]Even[/name_m] then, we like the name and the connection is an afterthought.
I think this is exactly what I needed to think about… thank you, all of you, so much!
I love [name_f]Maren[/name_f]! And I love that you combined both your sisters middles!
The honor is for who you want it to be… not all the other Maries/Morgans or even Marens out there.
Pretend you didn’t know nasty SIL middle and move on with your lovely honor! Your child will know who she’s named after!
[name_m]Ah[/name_m], got it! Combining my two sisters’ middle names was seemed like the best solution to me, to honor them both, as their first names don’t go together in any sort of cohesive way. I’m also trying to stay away from using anyone’s first names. I did that with my son’s name and it just isn’t something I want to repeat.
I do feel better after reading your thoughts on it.