I like the name [name_f]Dorothy[/name_f]. It’s not my favorite, but I like it, and 10-15 years from now I’d say it’s a definite possibility. However, it’s also my grandmother’s name. I have no problem with that, it’s I’m worried about the other side of the family being upset because I’m not using a name from that side of the family Usually I’m one of those who say “it’s your kid, not theirs, you pick” but I don’t want to make the other side of my family feel less important. Is that a reasonable worry? Family is hugely important to me, and we are very close.
Thanks.
Is it a reasonable worry? In some regards, sure. I don’t think anyone really has it in their hearts to hurt their relatives in anyway, especially when naming their own child. I think it is quite normal and caring to be considerate of their feelings. However, I think you will have to choose to get somewhat of a thick skin to any comments they make, if any. It isn’t up to them and they have no reasonable place to dictate who your child should be named after. You’d still be naming after family and that should be respected.
Suggestions on what you can do:
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Test the waters a bit beforehand. If a relative or someone you know happens to have a baby within this 10-15 year time period, that opens a great door for name discussion. You could say something about how you would like to choose family names for your kids, in the future, but worry someone might feel left out…and see how they would actually potentially feel about it. If they hit the fan that you would rather choose a name from one side than the other, then you may need to reevaluate or become stronger in your reserve. At least you’d know where you stood.
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Consider names from the other side for other potential children.
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Use [name_f]Dorothy[/name_f] in addition to a name from the other side, in the middle spot, or some other spot.
I feel for you, I do! My family is definitely the type to truly get offended at things like this…on a humongous level! We don’t discuss names with any of them, but what has helped us, personally, is to already decide that we will make the decision on our own and not bow into pressure.
I get the worry, but you cannot be expected to honor both sides with every single child. [name_f]Dorothy[/name_f] was your grandmother, thats a special relationship - if they don’t like it tough cookies for them. You have every right to honor a family member you were close with over another and not feel guilty.
I dont think it matters, just tell them the truth, that while it is your grandma’s name you chose it only because you really like it
I can really understand your concern. We are also a very close family, besides some extended family. I am totally blessed with understanding family and family that also do not feel it is their place to step in with the naming process. Which lightens the concern for me. I have also created my combos to honor several loved ones. My family can understand why I would want to honor certain loved ones (in my case, ones that have passed) before others. Most of the close family feel honoring is not something that has got to be done, so feel it a bonus. My parents and mom-in-law honored loved ones that passed. So they can understand my thoughts, concerns even more. I would talk to your family. Tell them you do not wish to hurt anyone and would love to honor everyone but it’s just not possible. I have found that talking, being honest, and letting others know your feelings helps with a lot of things in life.
Thanks! I’m not too fond of most of the names on the other side, with the exception of [name_f]Catherine[/name_f], which is my cousin’s middle name. I haven’t dug too deep into family names on either side, but I’m planning on it, but with the large costs of ancestry websites it’s a bit hard, and I don’t know how much my family knows about relatives and their names.