Honoring a parent with a less than ideal name

[name_m]Long[/name_m] story short, my husband really wants to use [name_u]Kim[/name_u] for a future son. [name_u]Kim[/name_u] was his dad’s name - he was an [name_m]Army[/name_m] MP that died during combat and honoring him is so important to us.

However, I just don’t know about [name_u]Kim[/name_u] for a boy. His full name was [name_u]Kim[/name_u] [name_m]Salvatore[/name_m], and my husband’s brother has already used [name_m]Salvatore[/name_m] as a MN for his first-born. We have permission to use [name_m]Salvatore[/name_m] for our son, but hubs is really loving [name_u]Kim[/name_u].

This is where I’m lost. I want to honor his dad and the sacrifice he made, but I just don’t know if I can say yes to [name_u]Kim[/name_u]. Husband is pretty set that he wants it as a first name or not at all.

Is there a compromise? [name_m]How[/name_m] do you feel about [name_u]Kim[/name_u] on a boy? Need help!

First off, I’m so sorry for the loss of your father-in-law…recent or in the past, that’s rough. I can see why you and your husband would want to honor him!

Is your husband okay with using a form of [name_u]Kim[/name_u]? [name_m]How[/name_m] about something like [name_m]Kimble[/name_m]? I don’t think [name_u]Kim[/name_u] is awful on a boy…after all, your father-in-law wore it and was in the army, so I think it can have a ‘tough’ sound to it. If your husband is unwilling to budge on it, then I think that at least you have the comfort and pride knowing that your little boy was named after his brave grandfather, who gave his life for his family and country. I mean, there’s a reason for the name :slight_smile:

What a wonderful gesture to honour your husband’s father- he sounds he was a brave and honourable man. I get what you mean by not wanting to use a name you don’t like though. I think ultimately this should fall to your husband to decide, since it was his father, so if he’s set on [name_u]Kim[/name_u] and not honouring him a different way (like [name_m]Salvatore[/name_m]), I’d say this is one of the times when you should let him choose even if you don’t love it.

That being said, if he is open to other options, maybe there’s something you both like. Did [name_u]Kim[/name_u] have a nickname (related to his name or not)? e.g. if his friends called him “[name_m]Bear[/name_m]” you could use [name_m]Arthur[/name_m] which means bear. If he was in the army, would the name of his regiment or something be usable? The city where he was born? A special memory your husband shared with him? e.g. the name of a character from a movie your husband and father loved watching together.

[name_m]Kimble[/name_m] is a great suggestion, there’s also [name_f]Kimber[/name_f]. It sounds slightly different but [name_m]Joachim[/name_m] could honour a [name_u]Kim[/name_u] too, and [name_u]Kim[/name_u] is actually a European diminutive for [name_m]Joachim[/name_m] according to Behind the Name.

@namegirl3 @bonfireazalea

Thank you both so much for the kind words and feedback! The more I hear it used (and the more I read your comments), I feel myself being more open to using [name_u]Kim[/name_u]. I really like quirkier names (i.e. [name_u]Sloane[/name_u] for a girl), and I think [name_u]Kim[/name_u] could fit that mold. Our [name_u]Kim[/name_u] was named after the [name_m]Rudyard[/name_m] [name_m]Kipling[/name_m] novel (his father was an English professor)…so that is kind of cool, too.

Any suggestions on MN if we used [name_u]Kim[/name_u] as a FN?

Well, I think that [name_m]Maxwell[/name_m], from your signature, would go well with [name_u]Kim[/name_u]!

Other suggestions:

[name_m]Forrest[/name_m]/[name_m]Forrester[/name_m]- kinda reminds me of the army theme
[name_m]Shepherd[/name_m]
[name_m]Thomas[/name_m]
[name_m]Joshua[/name_m]
[name_u]Sullivan[/name_u]
[name_u]Bradley[/name_u]
[name_m]Lewis[/name_m]
[name_m]Andrew[/name_m]
[name_m]Matthew[/name_m]

What about using [name_m]Kip[/name_m]? Similar sounding to [name_u]Kim[/name_u], and has the rudyard [name_m]Kipling[/name_m] association that named him!

I actually have never heard [name_u]Kim[/name_u] for a boy, but once you said it… I [name_u]LOVE[/name_u] IT!

[name_m]Kimble[/name_m] nn [name_u]Kim[/name_u] is handsome!

I like the MN suggestion of [name_u]Sullivan[/name_u]. You could maybe use your maiden name?

Other middle names for [name_u]Kim[/name_u]/[name_m]Kimble[/name_m]:

[name_m]Jackson[/name_m]
[name_m]Gregory[/name_m]
[name_m]Grayson[/name_m]
[name_m]Harrison[/name_m]
[name_u]Chandler[/name_u]
[name_m]Maddox[/name_m]
[name_u]Easton[/name_u]
[name_m]Redmond[/name_m]
[name_u]Sawyer[/name_u]
[name_u]Lennox[/name_u]

Y’all have some grata suggestions! Thanks so much. I really like [name_u]Kim[/name_u] [name_m]Maxwell[/name_m] and [name_u]Kim[/name_u] [name_u]Sullivan[/name_u].

What do you think of these combos with [name_u]Kim[/name_u] as the MN? Does it work better as a middle?

[name_m]Wilder[/name_m] [name_u]Kim[/name_u]
[name_u]Sullivan[/name_u] [name_u]Kim[/name_u]
[name_m]Maxwell[/name_m] [name_u]Kim[/name_u]
[name_m]Daniel[/name_m] [name_u]Kim[/name_u]

[name_u]Sullivan[/name_u] [name_u]Kim[/name_u] is a wonderful combo [name_f]IMO[/name_f]!

My uncles first name was [name_u]Kim[/name_u] but he got picked on so much for ‘having a girl name’ he changed it to [name_m]Ken[/name_m] as an adult.
I think it works better as a middle name.

My biggest issue with using the name [name_u]Kim[/name_u] for a boy is that it makes me think of [name_u]Kim[/name_u] Jong-un, the (vile) leader of [name_u]North[/name_u] Korea. Not an association I would want to have.

I understand your husband wanting to use it, though, and do not have any other suggestions (though maybe using it backwards… Mik).

Good luck.

You seem to be more comfortable on [name_u]Kim[/name_u], but if you are still interested in other ways to get it as a nickname Kimo is the Hawaiian version of [name_u]James[/name_u]. If you are unsure, I’d have your husband do the Starbucks test where he says the name so you can see the reactions he gets. Additionally, if you’re uncomfortable and want a backup, depending on the middle (or your surname) you can give him the option of an initial nickname.

[name_u]Kim[/name_u] [name_u]Jameson[/name_u]
[name_u]Kim[/name_u] [name_m]Anthony[/name_m]
[name_u]Kim[/name_u] [name_u]Elias[/name_u]/[name_m]Elijah[/name_m]
[name_u]Kim[/name_u] [name_m]Alexander[/name_m]
[name_u]Kim[/name_u] [name_m]Frederick[/name_m]
[name_u]Kim[/name_u] [name_m]Donovan[/name_m]
[name_u]Kim[/name_u] [name_m]Gregory[/name_m]
[name_u]Kim[/name_u] [name_m]Oliver[/name_m]

I think [name_m]Daniel[/name_m] [name_u]Kim[/name_u] and [name_m]Maxwell[/name_m] [name_u]Kim[/name_u] sound wonderful.

I think [name_u]Kim[/name_u] is a really nice name! I first thought of the novel, which is a wonderful book, although a little problematic in terms of [name_m]Kipling[/name_m]'s attitude towards imperialism. [name_u]Kim[/name_u] is still a fantastic character though. I recommend you read it if you haven’t! He is Irish and his full name is [name_m]Kimball[/name_m] which I think would be a lot better than [name_m]Kimble[/name_m] if you decided to go for a ‘long version’. It is the more proper spelling of the name in my opinion.

The whole [name_u]North[/name_u] Korean dictator vibe is a bit of an issue as I think most people have heard of them whereas not as many have read [name_m]Kipling[/name_m]'s novel.

But overall I don’t think that should worry you. [name_u]Kim[/name_u] would be a great name in the first or middle spot. If you like it and it’s a family name that would mean a lot, I really wouldn’t be concerned about anything else. Your son will have an incredible story to tell if anyone should ever say anything snarky about his name, much better than most people.

I say go for it!

Kimpton would be nice too–nn could either be [name_u]Kim[/name_u] or [name_m]Kip[/name_m]. Kimpton [name_m]Maxwell[/name_m] has a lot of style.

Considering the story of how your FIL got his name, you could use full name [name_m]Kipling[/name_m] and call baby ‘[name_u]Kim[/name_u]’. I do also think [name_f]Kimber[/name_f] is a great name if you are still not sold on [name_u]Kim[/name_u] alone as a fn.

I love [name_u]Kim[/name_u] on a boy!

[name_m]Kimble[/name_m] makes me think of [name_f]Kindle[/name_f] - I’ve never heard of [name_m]Kimble[/name_m] as a name. I do like [name_m]Kipling[/name_m] NN [name_u]Kim[/name_u], if you want to go for a longer FN.

I like the suggestion of [name_f]Kimber[/name_f] as his formal name and your husband could still use [name_u]Kim[/name_u] as his nickname.

My option is that [name_u]Kim[/name_u] is a traditional girl’s name ( I think Kardashian). Most people are. It going to have the same emotional connection to it that your family does. It’s not always worth it to use an honor name if it’s not also something you love.
I like the suggestions of [name_m]Kimball[/name_m], Kimpton, [name_m]Kip[/name_m], [name_m]Kipling[/name_m], and even Mik. I think any K name would satisfy an honor, so I would add [name_u]Kai[/name_u], [name_m]Koa[/name_m], and [name_u]Kieran[/name_u]

Thanks to all for your input!

I don’t dislike [name_m]Kimble[/name_m]/[name_m]Kimball[/name_m] or [name_f]Kimber[/name_f], but I’ve only known girls with those names, so it doesn’t help me think of [name_u]Kim[/name_u] as a masculine name (although historically, it’s a male English name).

The more I think about it, I’m leaning towards using it as a MN, if husband will agree. I get his “all or nothing” stance on using it as a FN - for him, he only knew [name_u]Kim[/name_u] to be a strong male name and that’s why he wants to use it.

I did forget, however, that we have another way of honoring [name_u]Kim[/name_u]. He was baptized in the Greek Orthodox church as a baby and his Greek name is [name_m]Gabriel[/name_m]. Husband LOVES (like, will never give up on) [name_m]Gabriel[/name_m] [name_m]Salvatore[/name_m]. I feel kind of “meh” about [name_m]Gabriel[/name_m], but I do think it’s a better option than [name_u]Kim[/name_u].

Thanks again!