Honoring Family Without Alienating Anyone

Hello! We do not know the gender yet, but we will soon. My husband is a third, but we’ve decided to only use his first name and give the baby names from my side of the family for middle names. The baby will go by a middle name.

We both love the name [name_m]William[/name_m] (it’s one of my grandfather’s first names, but he doesn’t go by it) and would call him [name_m]Will[/name_m] for short. My husband does not care for my other grandfather’s (now deceased) name. We’ve run the name by family, but they feel like I would be disrespecting or neglecting one half of my family by not giving him a name that also honors my other grandfather.

What do I do? [name_m]Just[/name_m] give up the name I’ve loved since I was a little girl? [name_m]Just[/name_m] say forget it and do no family names for the middle name spot?

Thank you for any input you may have.

Additional info- neither of us care for my deceased grandfather’s other names either.

If you don’t care for the name, you’re under no obligation to use it. You’re not disrespecting or neglecting one half of your family by not using it, you’re still adding to that family and that’s quite special regardless of the name you choose.

If you love a name, use it. It’s as simple as that.

Ditto what @otri said. [name_m]William[/name_m] is a lovely, classic name and it’s even more special because it’s honoring your grandfather.

As is so often the case, when we discuss our potential name choices with family some of them “have a better idea” so I would refrain from discussing your thoughts on your name choices with family as negative input from them can shake our confidence. I honestly feel that it’s better to discuss it on a forum such as NB with name geeks that love names and do try to think of the best options for you. [name_m]William[/name_m] is the name you love and that is how you should choose your baby’s name so it is the one you should feel comfortable choosing. It is a lovely classic name and I love the nickname [name_m]Will[/name_m].

I would just tell them you both love the name and that is is extra special because of the family connection. I don’t think it is disrespecting anyone. You can always say you’ll consider honouring the other half of the family with the next baby and hope for a girl you can name after grandma.

I agree with everyone else - don’t give up the name. If you love [name_m]William[/name_m], use it!

I don’t think you should feel obligated to use a name you don’t like. Keep [name_m]William[/name_m]!

An alternative is to consider a variant or a nod to your other grandfather

If I were in your shoes I would advise my family that you have taken their feedback on board, you will decide on the name you want to choose, and then announce it only when bub arrives.

Please chose the name you truly want, people will get over the notion the name is disrespectful (which it actually isn’t) but you shouldn’t have to feel your child has been given a compromise name, especially if neither you nor your husband love it.

We’ve pretty much decided on [name_m]Will[/name_m] as our boy name, and for our girl name, we’ve chosen middle names that honors my deceased grandfather and both of our moms. Thank you for all of your help!

I know this may be a smidge late, but I don’t understand how choosing a name disrespects anyone. If one has chosen a name to honor both sides of the family, one for mom’s side and one for dad’s side, you have honored both sides of the family. Each person is a compilation of each side of their family (i.e. a person is half mom’s side and half dad’s side), making them one of a family – not a split person from 2 families. Having a child named after someone within mom or dad’s family unit isn’t a competition, but an honor.