I have had two miscarriages prior to conceiving my current pregnancy, of which I am now 31 weeks. It is strange to think that she is older than her siblings ever were and ever will be, but we are just trying to embrace this pregnancy and hope it continues smoothly with no complications. We lost a little boy at 21 weeks, we call him [name]Emmett[/name] [name]James[/name], and an unknown gender at 13 weeks, we call [name]Riley[/name] [name]Morgan[/name]. We want our daughter to have a very unique name, and we also want to honor her siblings. My husband likes [name]Emma[/name] Rylin, but I feel it’s not enough of her own identity. I love the name [name]Gaia[/name] (guy-a) for her first name, and then two middle names. I just really don’t know what to do. Some people say we need to just give her a new name, and “leave the others out of it”. My mom mentioned Rett or [name]Rhett[/name] for her name or middle name, as it honors both of them.
I just have no idea what to do!
I also posted on your other thread, but I just wanted to say that it doesn’t really matter what other people say – it’s up to you. I’ve known people who have done both – one couple honored a sibling who had passed away and one couple viewed the miscarried sibling’s name as already used and wanted that sibling to be honored by NOT using that name again. It’s all about what feels right for you and your husband. I guess my question would be this (sorry if it’s a little harsh): If you name your daughter after your other children who are no longer with you, will it make you sad every time you see her? If you even hesitate before answering that question, I would say give her a new name. Although honoring is wonderful when it feels right, if you even suspect in the least bit that it would make you sad or would remind you of all that you lost, I don’t think it’s a good idea. I’m so so sorry for your losses, and I’m so happy for you and your husband to welcome your new daughter. She will be wonderful and beautiful no matter what her name is.
Seeing your mom’s suggestions made me think of [name]Coretta[/name] or another name with “rett” in it. If it were me, I think I’d want to pick a name that had a really great meaning, like “blessed” or “gift” or something like that. I’m not normally into name meanings, but if ever there was a time to name a child something that has a great beautiful meaning, this is it. Good luck!!
So sorry to hear about your losses. Personally, I would not “honor” your miscarried babies in your child’s name. I would advise to choose this baby’s names the same way you chose your other two (eg. names you just loved, honor relatives etc…). A new happy chapter is beginning in your life and why would you want to remember the pain of the past everytime you called your daughter’s name? I hope I didn’t sound harsh but I think your child deserves a name all her own. Good luck to you!
I’m sorry for your losses. I also named my one miscarriage. I don’t think I would use the name but, I don’t see anything wrong with honoring them if that is what you want to do.
I am sorry for your losses. I think it is very normal and natural to wish to honor your other children via this daughter’s life. In the days when infant and child death was sadly much more common, it was almost standard to name a new baby after a deceased older sibling.
I think your idea is a good one-- give this daughter her own first name ([name]Gaia[/name] if you like it, though it might be teased as gay-uh) and a middle name which honors her siblings. Some thoughts for the middle:
[name]Emily[/name] ([name]EMmett[/name] + riLEY)
Emsley ([name]EMmett[/name] + jaMES + riLEY)
[name]Emira[/name] (‘princess,’ [name]EMmett[/name] + [name]Riley[/name])
Emiri (Japanese name, [name]EMmett[/name] + [name]RIley[/name])
[name]Amoret[/name] (“beloved,” [name]MORgan[/name] + emmETT)
[name]Emerald[/name] ([name]EMMEtt[/name] _ [name]RiLey[/name])
[name]Reinette[/name] (“little queen,” [name]RIley[/name] + emmETT)
[name]Lisette[/name] (riLEY, jameS, emmETT)
[name]Teagan[/name] (emmeTT + mor[name]GAN[/name])
[name]Mirjam[/name] ([name]Miriam[/name] in Dutch, Croatian, etc; [name]MORgan[/name] + JAMEes). [name]Miriam[/name] means “wished for child” so that would be double-appropriate.
[name]Jamina[/name] (feminine form of [name]James[/name]; [name]JAMes[/name] + rilEY + morgAN)
I’m sorry for your losses. I remember over on Yahoo! Answers a similar question was asked a while back- and one of the responders said that she believed that a miscarriage meant that the child was not ready to leave God yet, and that the next child was in fact the same soul of the one who was lost in a previous miscarriage (she also wrote that she had also lost a child due to miscarriage). I think that is a sweet belief, and it makes it entirely appropriate to name a child after the one who was miscarried.
But in the end, it’s up to you. If you want a subtle reminder, you could choose a name from Hebrew or Irish origins ([name]Emmett[/name] is the former and [name]Riley[/name] the latter), or a name meaning ‘truth’ or ‘courageous’ to honor them.
[name]Gaia[/name] is pretty, but I suspect much teasing. If you love it, go for it, but have a less bullyable (is that a word?) middle.
I think a good way to acknowledge the children you lost would be to give this child a name with a meaning that reflects your journey, but isn’t necessarily after the other children. For example, a name meaning “[name]Joy[/name],” “Life,” or “[name]Hope[/name]” could be a good way to honor the past without naming her exactly after her siblings. Some examples:
Mean “[name]Hope[/name]:”
[name]Hope[/name]
[name]Nadia[/name]
[name]Esperanza[/name]
[name]Raja[/name]
[name]Asha[/name] (“hope” in Arabic, also “life” in Swahili)
Life:
[name]Ziva[/name]
[name]Zoe[/name]
[name]Zoelie[/name]
[name]Zoya[/name]
[name]Vida[/name]/[name]Vita[/name]
[name]Viviana[/name], [name]Vivian[/name], [name]Vivienne[/name]
[name]Eve[/name], [name]Eva[/name]
[name]Ava[/name] (related to [name]Eve[/name], also from a Germanic word meaning “desired”)
[name]Dawn[/name] or [name]New[/name] Beginning:
[name]Roxana[/name]
[name]Aurora[/name]
[name]Zora[/name]
[name]Dagny[/name]
Other:
[name]Desiree[/name]: wish, desire
[name]Mary[/name] or a variant- one of the theories of this name (whose origin is not entirely known) is that it means “wished for child.”
[name]Anah[/name]- “answer” in Hebrew
[name]Eliana[/name]- “My God has answered.”
[name]Isra[/name]- “[name]Night[/name] [name]Journey[/name]” in Arabic
[name]Journey[/name]
[name]Willow[/name]- a tree regarded as flexible, enduring, and very difficult to break.
I think you should name your child whatever you want. But I have some random insight for you to consider. Six years ago when I worked as a camp counselor, I had a 10 year old come to me crying one night. She explained to me that her parents had lost a baby before she was born. They kept some memories of the baby such as a blanket. They talked about the baby often. And she was sad for the lose of her sibling and she didnt understand why God would take her sibling away. I know this is an extreme example. But just be cautions on how much you talk about your other children.
On the other hand, my parents had a misscarriage before I was born. My parents have only mentioned the baby I think 2 or three times in my life. It has never really affected me. And here is a positive example, my best friend growing up was given the first name [name]Joy[/name], since she was the next child after the misscarriage. She had older siblings you were sad at the lost of their brother/sister. They were all very happy and joyful to have another sibling my friend [name]Joy[/name].
[name]Hope[/name] that helps. I know these examples don’t specifically talk about names. But they give insight to a good and bad away of remembering the children.
I’m so sorry for your losses. I’ve lost 5 babies, a daughter at 37 weeks, a daughter at 17 weeks and 3 babies at 9 weeks, 11 weeks and 7 weeks.
We decided to name our daughters after daughter who was stillborn at 37 weeks. Her name was [name]Lily[/name]. We named our first daughter [name]Iris[/name] which means “rainbow” and she is our rainbow baby and our second daughter who we also lost has the middle name [name]Susannah[/name] which means “lily”. So it was a subtle name to honor her and if we didn’t tell people it wouldn’t be obvious. If we are blessed with another child we will probably go with [name]Vivian[/name] since it means “life” and give her the middle name [name]Adelaide[/name] since it means “noble” and [name]Alice[/name] also means “noble”.
My grandfather, born in 1917, was named after a brother who died as an infant. As a child, he found this disturbing and went by his middle name, but was ok with it enough by adulthood to pass on that fn/mn combo to his son. It’s hard to know if your child will feel a positive connection from the names or if it will make her sad and uncomfortable. If you use those names as inspiration, I would definitely recommend changing them enough to give her something that feels like her own. My mom had a string of miscarriages prior to my birth, but I think the furthest along was 10 weeks and she didn’t name any of them. I think naming the ones you lost is a personal decision as to what makes you feel better, but when using those names on a child you should try to take her feelings into consideration as well.
[name]Emma[/name] Rylin is a beautiful way to honor your other children. She will be her own identity regardless of what her name is. I wish all the best for your family. I personally prefer to honor loved ones in the names of my children. It makes their name more special in my opinion. Some people feel that way, some don’t. [name]Do[/name] what you feel is right.
Also, as another poster stated, it would not at all uncommon for children to be named after older siblings who did not make it back in the days when infants and children commonly did not survive. I think it was a sweet tradition. But I’m a fan of tradition. I think the key would be making the name a positive, sweet connection to her siblings rather than a sad reminder.
I’m so sorry for your losses. I think it’s a nice idea to honor your babies that have passed on, but it depends if you feel comfortable with it or not. I like the idea of combining their names into one. [name]Emily[/name] was a wonderful suggestion, I feel. [name]Gaia[/name] [name]Emily[/name] would be beautiful and meaningful.
