[name_m]Hi[/name_m]!
So I’ve been thinking about adding [name_f]Kathryn[/name_f] to my list of middle names in honour of my mother. However, I don’t particularly like how she spells her name [name_f]Kathryn[/name_f]. I much prefer [name_f]Katherine[/name_f].
It wouldn’t normally mind changing it but my mother has specifically said she likes how it’s spelt because it’s not frilly. To me, however, it looks misspelled (no offence intended).
What would you do in this situation?
Normally I’d say use the spelling you like, since they’re the same name anyways so it’s easily recognizable as an honour. But personally I think it only counts as an honour if the person feels honoured. I’d ask your mother directly, would you still feel like you were being honoured if I use [name_f]Katherine[/name_f]?
If she says it wouldn’t feel like an honour, you could still use [name_f]Katherine[/name_f] but you’d be doing it just because you liked it and not because of your mother (which is fine).
If you don’t want to use [name_f]Kathryn[/name_f] but still want to honour your mother, is her middle or maiden name an option? Or you could use a variant like [name_f]Kathleen[/name_f] or [name_f]Catarina[/name_f]- though some people don’t count it as an honour unless it’s the exact name; it sounds like your mother could be one of them?
For what it’s worth, neither look all that frilly to me. [name_f]Catherine[/name_f] looks the most feminine and a bit more frilly, but it’s a sensible and grounded name to me in general. Frilly would be something like [name_f]Cecilia[/name_f] or [name_f]Anastasia[/name_f].
I’m a [name_f]Kathryn[/name_f] too. I really, really hate the spelling and have considered legally changing my name because of the spelling, however, if my name was [name_f]Katherine[/name_f], I would love it.
[name_f]Katherine[/name_f]/[name_f]Catherine[/name_f] has history too, so not only does it look and sound nicer but too me, it’s more substantial, think of all the [name_f]Katherine[/name_f]'s throughout history.
I also find that when I have to give my name I get, “With a C or a K?”, and then when I try to spell it they frequently get confused and I have to spell it 2-3 times.
I agree with bonfireazalea, there is not much point in using [name_f]Katherine[/name_f] if your mother doesn’t like it or feel honoured, but I do encourage you to go for [name_f]Katherine[/name_f].
Hmm… that is tough! I do not think that you should use a name/spelling that you dislike, but it is also tough because you want your mother to feel honored. I agree that a variation of [name_f]Katherine[/name_f]/[name_f]Kathryn[/name_f] may be a good option. Maybe you could come up with a list of your favorite variations, and then have your mother go through it and pick her favorite. That way, she will feel like a part of the process. Hopefully, including her in your name decisions will make her feel honored. The name would still be connected to her name, but you would have a variation/spelling that you are happy with!
Check out this list ~
Good luck 
I would definitely use the spelling I prefer since it is still very much the same name! If naming your child after a birth stone of a person or the month they were born is considered honoring then certainly switching a few letters still counts 
(for what it’s worth, I am a fan of honoring people by their birth stone and month!)
Personally, I would like them spelled differently to more easily differentiate between the people. [name_m]Just[/name_m] a bonus of using your preferred spelling.
This is my exact opinion. I think ultimately ask your mom if she would still feel honored. I know I would but people are different.
I much prefer [name_f]Katherine[/name_f] over [name_f]Kathryn[/name_f].
Thanks everyone! I suppose I’d just have to talk to her about it more. If I have to use [name_f]Kathryn[/name_f] I probably won’t use it but use another name instead to honour her.
Thank you