Hopelessly deadlocked on baby #2 name

Dh really really wants to name our second son [name_u]James[/name_u] [name_m]Alexander[/name_m], [name_u]James[/name_u] after his father. My issue is that [name_u]James[/name_u] is a family name on my father’s side and I have zero contact with them. It really bothers me to associate the name with bad memories. I also despise the nicknames [name_u]Jamie[/name_u] and [name_m]Jimmie[/name_m]. I’d like to him [name_m]Alexander[/name_m] [name_u]James[/name_u], but dh won’t budge. Any ideas?

What about [name_m]Diego[/name_m]? [name_m]Diego[/name_m] means the same as [name_u]James[/name_u] so it won’t be directly [name_u]James[/name_u] and he can get his honour. Also [name_m]Diego[/name_m] [name_m]Alexander[/name_m] is handsome.

I like the previous posters idea to use a variation of [name_u]James[/name_u]. If you want to honour his father [name_u]James[/name_u], I think thats a lovely way to do it, while avoiding the direct connection to the [name_u]James[/name_u]'s on your side of the family. Maybe-
[name_m]Jacob[/name_m] [name_m]Alexander[/name_m] (nameberry says [name_u]James[/name_u] actually originated from the name [name_m]Jacob[/name_m])
[name_m]Jago[/name_m] [name_m]Alexander[/name_m]
[name_m]Hamish[/name_m] [name_m]Alexander[/name_m]
[name_m]Jacques[/name_m] [name_m]Alexander[/name_m]
[name_m]Jake[/name_m] [name_m]Alexander[/name_m] (not sure if this would be called a variation or not)

Or maybe just [name_u]Jay[/name_u] [name_m]Alexander[/name_m]?
[name_m]Jack[/name_m] [name_m]Alexander[/name_m]
[name_m]Jones[/name_m] [name_m]Alexander[/name_m]
[name_m]Charles[/name_m] [name_m]Alexander[/name_m]
[name_m]Daniel[/name_m] [name_m]Alexander[/name_m]

If you really associate the name [name_u]James[/name_u] to bad memories, don’t use it. It sounds like your SO being pretty stubborn about this name, so you might have to be equally stubborn against it. Offer up alternatives.

It’s not fair for your DH to insist on a name that has such bad connotations for you, even if it is his father’s name. You should be happy every time you say your child’s name, and if [name_u]James[/name_u] is going to bring back bad memories for you, then it should be absolutely off the cards [name_f]IMO[/name_f].

If you’re OK with using [name_u]James[/name_u] in the middle, I think that’s a fair compromise. Is [name_m]Alexander[/name_m] your choice? Perhaps your DH might be more inclined to budge on the [name_u]James[/name_u] issue if he is allowed to choose a new first name?

I really think your DH is being unreasonable here, and you shouldn’t feel pressured into using a name for your child which makes you feel bad. I hope your DH comes round.

Would his dad’s middle name be an option? Or maybe [name_u]Jameson[/name_u] if that works for you.

What about another version of [name_u]James[/name_u]? [name_u]James[/name_u] is coming from [name_m]Jacob[/name_m] and you can use it? Or another international variant? [name_m]Seamus[/name_m]/[name_m]Hamish[/name_m]/Iacobus/[name_m]Yakov[/name_m]/Yakup etc. Or a diminutive that isn’t [name_m]Jimmie[/name_m]? What would you think about [name_u]Jem[/name_u]?

It seems quite unfair to me that your DH won’t budge on a name that you outright don’t want to use. I would say [name_u]James[/name_u] has to be off the table as a first name if it doesn’t feel right to you.

I would suggest you use it in the middle and find a first name that you both love. That makes the most sense to me, or a variation of [name_u]James[/name_u] is a good solution as well. There are some great suggestions already but I would also add [name_m]Eames[/name_m] (pronounced Aye-ms) into the mix. It mean ‘prosperous protector’ and can trace back to Irish roots of [name_m]Eamon[/name_m] and the Old English [name_m]Edmund[/name_m]. It has a very similar sound so could be a nice alternative without losing the the feel of [name_u]James[/name_u]. I believe it was also an English surname meaning ‘uncle’.

I agree with the other ladies, you have to tell your SO flat out that [name_u]James[/name_u] isn’t going to happen. Have him come up with 3-5 alternatives, that way he still feels like he’s being heard. Both people have to at least like the name to move forward with it.

I do like the alternative [name_u]Jameson[/name_u] as someone else suggested. Nickname could be [name_u]Sonny[/name_u]. Super cute.

Completely unfair of husband. Good memories are lovely, but bad… You are in the right and stick to your guns. Sorry, but this kind of thing bothers me. He should be more sensitive.

[name_u]Leslie[/name_u]

[name_u]Jameson[/name_u] is a great idea. Very handsome. :slight_smile:
Also, how about [name_m]Jasper[/name_m] or [name_m]Jason[/name_m]?

I think your husband is being unreasonable. You could name the baby [name_m]Alexander[/name_m] [name_u]James[/name_u] andyiur husband could still call him [name_u]James[/name_u]. Or you could stay with [name_u]James[/name_u] first and call him [name_m]Alexander[/name_m]. There’s plenty of people who go by their middle name.

What about [name_m]Jamen[/name_m]?

Thank you all for your suggestions!! I believe we’ve compromised and will name him [name_u]Jameson[/name_u] alexander. Dh will still call him james and I’m happy that he has his own special name.

[name_m]Just[/name_m] wanted to throw a few nn options in there - [name_u]Jay[/name_u], [name_u]Jem[/name_u], [name_u]Jesse[/name_u], [name_m]Jon[/name_m] / [name_m]Jonny[/name_m], and [name_u]Jace[/name_u] could all work for [name_u]Jameson[/name_u]. [name_u]Jameson[/name_u] [name_m]Alexander[/name_m] is very handsome btw, glad to see you’ve both managed to compromise.

i agree with you , it beautiful

I’m glad you were able to find a solution you like, but I’m still not sure how you avoid the bad [name_u]James[/name_u] connotation if your husband is going to call him [name_u]James[/name_u] anyway?? Doesn’t seem fair imo. What will you call him… [name_u]Jameson[/name_u]? If you call him [name_u]James[/name_u] anyway, how does that change the negative feelings you have for the name? If I were you, I’d call him [name_u]Sonny[/name_u] (as a PP suggested, which is brilliant).

[name_u]James[/name_u] in the middle spot (which is often where honor names go) seems much more reasonable. [name_m]Alexander[/name_m] [name_u]James[/name_u], for example.

Final point: [name_u]Jameson[/name_u] [name_m]Alexander[/name_m] is quite a mouthful. [name_u]Seven[/name_u] syllables in total for two names. Does [name_m]Alexander[/name_m] have to be the mn?

Anyway, best of luck!

100% this.

I’d be pretty upset if my DH was trying to force a name on me that has negative connotations to me. I think it’s big that you are even trying to compromise by putting it in the middle.

Does his father have a middle name you could use instead?

[name_u]Jameson[/name_u] is so handsome! I’m so glad you found a name that makes you both happy.

Both parents have to agree. Toss your favorites and keep looking.

[name_m]Just[/name_m] read that you have chosen [name_u]Jameson[/name_u]. Great choice