I’m a brand new member, but I’ve been a post-reader for a while now. I am so intrigued by names, name combos, and other people’s opinions on them!
DH and I are religious, and only use biblical names in their Hebreic forms. We love them, and think they are beautiful. Many in our community do the same. (Would share our kids names, but still not comfortable doing that on an online forum.) With this name theory, we have lots of choices, but they are all coming from somewhere - ie. there is a finite amount of choices, and my personal name preferences come from a (expansive) set pool of names. While I love the process of choosing names for our children, it makes it very manageable.
I’m just so curious - for those of you who decide names and have no real parameters - how do you even begin coming up with names you like, your particular name-style, and how do you limit them? With infinite name choices, and an endless supply of new ideas, how do you ever arrive at a final one? I would find it completely overwhelming, and be forever second-guessing myself!
Please enlighten me, I would love to know your individual processes! (Especially those of you who have particularly original and unique [not yooneek] tastes.)
I don’t limit myself at all! I wonder why you think that someone must limit themselves to a particular style of name. [name]Just[/name] because you like ice cream doesn’t mean you can’t also like pie.
It’s hard to describe how I find a name that I like. And I definitely don’t “limit” myself, with name sites like this one it is easy for me to find new names and get the general opinion on them - though if I really like a name others’ opinions on them do little to sway me - you can find names just about anywhere so it’s all about looking and listening.
Interesting question! For me I would have to say that I started out just by finding a name that I loved and not purposely eliminating anything (except perhaps certain religious or ethnic choices that wouldn’t have made any sense for me to use). However, now that I have a son, and were I to need to name another child in the future I would definitely say that I have somewhat limited myself to:
No names starting with D.
No names ending with -ic.
No names starting with a K or hard C sound that would end up sounding like DominiCatherine.
No variations of [name]James[/name] (his middle)
Nothing in a drastically different style, as well as a few other personal references that no longer seem allowed. =]
My taste is in French names, I like everything from rare and obscure to popular and traditional. I actually don’t mean to limit my parameters but I don’t really know how to get into other names, it’s like I’m stuck lol.
I find lots of names beautiful, but when naming my own baby I’m limiting my choices to mythological/historical/astronomical/literary names. If not, it has to be crazy beautiful and have a great meaning (like [name]Noor[/name]). I started out all over the place though, but in the narrowing down, these have become my guidelines. And of course, after the first, if I have more children, I’ll have to take that name into account and find a name that goes with it, but doesn’t crash into it.
I got my taste from my mom. She’s into the classics and nothing too frilly, especially on girls. So my favorite names are mostly classic ([name]Jack[/name], [name]Lucy[/name], [name]Alice[/name], [name]James[/name]), but that doesn’t mean I limit myself. I love [name]Eamon[/name] even though it’s Scottish and new, [name]Lake[/name] even though it’s a nature/word name, etc.
Thanks to those who responded in meaningful ways - keep 'em coming! [name]Ottilie[/name], so happy you responded! I was actually wondering very much about your style based on your other posts and suggestions.
I guess I should have worded my question more precisely: Rather what are your ‘limits’ I meant ‘what helped guide you to find your style and develop your personal taste?’
It would be hard for me to actually set parameters on myself BEFORE compiling a list of favorites. I don’t do well with boxes or limits, and I like to draw inspiration from all over the map: literature, art, history, fantasy, astronomy, science, nature, spirituality, etc.
I have some definite instinctive tastes though…it’s not that I’m imposing limits on myself as much as it is that I react negatively to certain things: modern names (they feel like chrome and glass to me, where I’m a antique wood and bohemian tapestries kind of girl), cross-gender names (I was born with one and wouldn’t wish my experiences on my own child), and super popular names (unique and one-of-a-kind is more attractive to me than [name]John[/name] [name]Smith[/name] No. 17) being a few examples. I gravitate towards names that feel ethereal or otherwordly, magical, heroic, and fantastical.
Then my process becomes a series of small lists that I then take to Husband, who vetoes all but one or two that get added to the master list. I don’t have to worry about limiting myself…he’ll do it for me! His taste is much more practical than mine. Then when I get a solid master list of 20-30 names, I narrow them down by thinking about what imagery I want, or what I want the name to feel like, and testing each one out to see how well it resonates with that concept. It’s all very “creative obsession” I’m sure…but I love it!
Well of course I did, interesting thread I think! What helped develop my taste is definitely art, history, mythology and literature. I’ve studied these things, and have been brought up loving and exploring especially art and literature. I also like a lot of Biblical names but would never use them (I’ve considered [name]Vashti[/name], she’s my kind of girl!). I also need the etheral and magical feel Sessha mentioned.
My taste is very fickle I instantly like I name or I don’t like it. There are lots of names that like very much and they usually fall into classic/literary, whimsical, or nature themes. I also love to pull from my family tree whenever possible. I have two distinct sides to my personality, one is very classic and loves to dress in 60’s chic dresses and heels. That side loves names like [name]Charlotte[/name], [name]Alice[/name], [name]Jane[/name], [name]Elise[/name] and so on. Then there’s the nature loving, gardening, massage therapist/yoga teacher side. Those names are [name]Willow[/name], [name]River[/name], [name]Wisteria[/name], [name]Surya[/name], [name]Temple[/name] ect. If my husband wasn’t also naming the baby I would have trouble wrestling between these groups. Thankfully he loves classic names so he made it easy for me to focus on those.
I can totally relate to this! I find many different types of names attractive, including many that most people might think are way out there. But the ones on MY lists, the ones I would actually use, tend to fall into two main categories: 1) old-fashioned, many from my family tree and 2) whimsical, including word names, etc. I think my taste in names stems from who I am; how I was raised, who I became because of or in spite of that, my personality, etc. But I love Nameberry because it exposes me to all these other cool people with their own cool criteria for choosing names, such as yours. It’s like art appreciation - you may gravitate towards a couple of types that you’d actually buy and put in your home, but you still love looking at/appreciate the other stuff in the gallery.
For me, the name absolutely must have an authentic history and usage. As a Catholic, I am very influenced by saint names, partially just because so many of the names are so ancient, unusual and fascinating! I love finding a name that sounds fresh and new but is actually old. For me, if a name has no significant history or meaning, it’s out. I also don’t care as much for “la-la” names as I call them… names filled with vowels and multiple l’s and not much else! I much prefer names that have strong consonant sounds. Most of the names I like tend to be longer also… but that could be because I have a three-letter last name!
I don’t limit myself, but I did come from a background where the names did come from a finite source and I hated that.
Now, I pick whatever I like and as long as it fits in nicely with my other names on the list, it’s viable.
As for reaching to a final name, I’d say that I tend to just find names that just “click” right away, I rarely have to knock down names for my list, things tend to just fall into place.
As for my renaming journey? That’s a whooole different story, lol.
If I was actually naming a child of my own I would definitely have very specific limits.
Recognizable,
not too boring,
easy to spell,
easy to pronounce,
not too long,
sounds well with our last name,
good nickname if it’s not already very short,
preferably a meaning that reflects who we’d want our child to become,
nothing too close to family/friend names or names of people we aren’t fond of,
then, just something that feels right.
There are actually very few names that fit all of those categories.
There are many, many names that I like in a “name-nerd” sense because they are beautiful or unique or fun or intriguing or historical or 100 other things–but I’d never actually use them because they don’t fit one of the above categories.
What guided me to those tastes? I think it’s just a love of simplicity linked to a love of interesting names. Trying to wed practicality and creativity. I believe in not allowing a name to hinder your child but at the same time giving them some claim on their name as something that is beautiful and meaningful and that’s their own and not a million other peoples.
When i started being serious about my name-nerdness a few years ago, by which i mean making lists and figuring out my style, it took me a long time to get a cohesive idea of what i liked.
I had long lists of generally good ones, but it probably took up until now (maybe 2 years?) to really cement what specific things i look for in a name.
Mostly it has to do with a question: “is it me?”
for example, [name]Beatrice[/name] and [name]Honora[/name] are exquisite names, but i don’t think they’re “me”.
It’s a bit hard to explain, but the more name-nerdiness you get into, the more you can recognize the names that “do it” for you.
There is imagery i have associated with names now, and i want all of my choices to fit in with certain kinds of imagery. Specifically: sunshine, hot summer days, open windows, etc.
My feelings exactly. I have found that I magnetized names from those categories. I tried to change my naming style since I do not have an Greek, Norse, Sanskrit, etc heritage/culture/background/etc., but many of the names are so beautiful to me.
I don’t, really. I have a few OCD tendencies about how names sound together, but I have a varied taste {I go from whimsy, rare names like Illyria to old fashioned names like [name]Florence[/name], and more trendy names like [name]Maia[/name]}. My very top names tend to be more similar {[name]Violet[/name], [name]Bram[/name], [name]Ophelia[/name], [name]Raphael[/name]}. I like to keep to a similar taste, but I’m not closeminded to new names.
This is a hard question.
I like to think of myself as a name collector. I have large collections (3000+ for each gender) of names I like that I’ve written down so I can remember that they exist and are legit. I tend to stick to unusual choices, keeping away from trendy ones because if it came down to it, I wouldn’t use them myself or recommend others to.
From there, I have picked out about 10 names I would actually like to use if I ever have children, all honouring family. I also have a few other ‘themed’ lists of about 10 names, because if I want a daughter called [name]Cora[/name], I need sibling names in the same style and I won’t be using the honouring names I had picked out.
To be honest, I’ll only be able to narrow it down once I have a potential father who also has opinions. If he want’s to honour grandma [name]Gudrun[/name], I’d be happy to oblige (Audrun is gorgeous and just one letter off!) and find names we both like that work with our parameters honouring both sides of the family. I love so many names from a variety of styles, and I don’t have any thoughts at all about what a name should be.
What is important to me though, is to have a good sibset. I can’t have one daughter named Audrun and the next one [name]Stephanie[/name], followed by a boy named Emre. I’ll choose a style and stick to it. I also believe that if you can’t find the perfect name, you haven’t looked hard enough. If you want to find an Old Norse name honouring uncle [name]Morgan[/name] it’s possible if you allow yourself some liberty (Magnar!). Most people aren’t open to all the possibilities which makes me quite sad.
