How did you feel finding out the gender of your baby?

Did you and your partner want the same outcome? Did you feel a little disappointed if you didn’t get what you wanted/expected? Or were you genuinely happy either way?

I was watching a show that was discussing how it’s p.c. to say you don’t care, as long as it’s healthy, but that most people, whether they admit it or not, are hoping for one or the other. Then one of the characters said “I don’t care, as long as she’s healthy”.

I really wanted a girl. I’d always pictured having a girl. I dreamed about a little girl in early pregnancy. I was really shocked to find out I’m having a boy. It’s not like I didn’t want him anymore when I found out, but it took some time of brainstorming the good things about having a son to fully come to terms.

Now it’s solid in my head that this is a boy and I’m really excited about meeting him. I realized that even if I’d had a girl, there are a thousand other things about her that might not have been how I’d imagined. My mom expected a little miniature version of her and we wound up being very different people with completely different interests.

So I was just curious if anyone else had a hard time at first when they weren’t having what they’d always thought they wanted. My son’s father said that when he found out it was a boy, he felt more excited and like this was more real. So how did all of you feel? Answers would be interesting whether you got what you were hoping for or not.

Ok…everyone in my life got the “as long as it’s healthy” answer, but my husband and I admitted to each other that I really wanted a girl & he really wanted a boy. Of course we would’ve been fine with either, but we had a preferenceand I think that’s fine.

When we found out it was a she I asked if he was disappointed & he said no, but he was kind of scared to have a delicate little girl…well we ended up getting a little bruiser!

I think my girl preference was because I wanted cuddly & sweet & mommy-loving which boys can be too, but for me wete qualities I associated with girls

My husband had a boy preference cause he wanted to play rough & play sports & go on hikes & not fear breaking the baby!

Our daughter has all of the qualities above so we got really lucky! I think you should list the qualities you were hoping for in a daughter & you might be surprised that plenty of them are gender neutral…except the clothes, the girl clothes are a bit more fun! Aside from that your baby will be your little buddy whether it’s a boy or girl!

I wonder about this, too. I’ve always imagined a little boy. I hope I’m not disappointed if it’s a girl. I know I won’t be, I’ll love my child no matter what. But… I really want a boy. Alternatively, my sister is on number three and once again it’s a boy. She really wants a girl and I know she was sad when she first found out she was having another boy. But she’s over it now and excited again.

Honestly, since this is our first, I didn’t have a preference either way. I’m thrilled that we’re having a girl but I’d be just as thrilled if we were having a boy. I will say that I felt a lot more bonded to the baby once we found out the gender. It just feels a lot more real when you can say “he” or “she” rather then “it” or “the baby”.

All that being said, for our next baby, I’ll definitely be hoping for a boy since I’d like one of each. If we end up having two girls though, I’m sure there’d be a little disappoinment at first, but nothing that would last all that long.

I agree-- the thrill of using a pronoun is very real!

I mildly preferred a boy, but my husband-- to an absurd, non-politically correct degree-- wanted a girl. He spent most of the pregnancy-- until the literal day of the birth-- saying “if only we were having a girl!” He very nearly cried at the sonogram, to the great surprise of the tech. Of course now he couldn’t imagine having any other baby than [name]Antoine[/name] and admits he has no idea what he was thinking or why he had such a visceral urge for a daughter.

Incidentally, going into the anatomy scan he was on the fence about wanting to know the gender. I wanted to know, and felt a bit lucky that due to my occupation I would probably be able to tell on the sono just from looking at it without the tech needing to interpret it. We agreed going in that I would keep mum no matter what I saw. However, [name]Antoine[/name] made his Y chromosome so terribly apparent that even my husband-- who, by the way, is a securities litigator-- said “I think it’s a boy!”

I had kind of the opposite mindset of most people going into the pregnancy. I cynically really believed that there was no such thing as a healthy, normal baby. I expected all manner of congenital anomalies; a cord accident; anything. I didn’t announce the pregnancy at all to anyone besides first-degree relatives until after the anatomy scan.

For my first, I had always pictured having a girl. I had been dreaming about it since I was a little girl. My husband wanted a boy. I got my girl :slight_smile: Now I’m pregnant again and I wanted a boy as did my hubby. We just found out last week that we were having a boy, so we got pretty lucky. If we have a third - I would want another boy. I don’t think I could handle two girls!!

So, when I was pregnant at 15 I really wanted a girl, but all the “signs” pointed to boy, so early on I fell in love with my son. However, I didn’t want to do an ultrasound gender test. When my friend had her baby, I was 32 weeks pregnant. She had a little girl, and even though I already “knew” my baby’s gender, I wanted to be sure about my son, that I was going to name [name]William[/name] [name]Oliver[/name] [name]Henry[/name] Croft, and call him [name]Henry[/name]. So, I’m in the ultrasound room, telling the tech how I’m positive it will be a boy, and how I’m so excited to have a son, and she just goes silent. And I’m like, “Wait… is it not a boy?” and she nodded. Surprise! A baby girl! I was very excited, but it completely changed my mentality. For eight months I called her “him/he/his” and collected boy stuff. I switched to “[name]Little[/name] Miss” and “[name]Little[/name] Lady” and “[name]Baby[/name] Girl” and bought pink and purple clothes. Three weeks later I had [name]Eva[/name] [name]Victoria[/name] [name]Anne[/name] Croft at 34 weeks 3 days. I only had 2.5 weeks knowing that my baby was a girl! She was born at 11:31 AM, after 11 hours of labor. She stayed in the NICU for 5 days. For my next baby, I found out at 18 weeks and was told it was a boy. The next appointment, my friend [name]Morgan[/name] came with me to see my son. And, surprise #2! It’s actually a girl again! And, 14 weeks later, she’s still a girl! I’m naming her either Rylin [name]Elizabeth[/name] _______ Croft, [name]Amelia[/name] [name]Hunter[/name] [name]Rose[/name] Croft, [name]Anna[/name] [name]Isabella[/name] [name]Marie[/name] Croft, or [name]Mary[/name] [name]Aurelia[/name] [name]Jane[/name] Croft.
love,
[name]Ivy[/name]

Mommy to [name]Eva[/name] [name]Victoria[/name] [name]Anne[/name], 2
Expecting baby girl in [name]January[/name] 2013

I only found out with my boy pregnancies (just the way it worked, when we waited until birth we had girls lol) and was honestly fine with it. Now granted wuth our first, there was much excitement over the first grandchild on both sides and am not a “girly” type of person (going by stereotypes of course) and with our third we already had one of each and with this new little guy after loosing our [name]Felix[/name] gender did not matter but a healthy baby did. The only thing I lament this time around with gender is not being able to use the middles names we came up with to honor both grandmothers, my sister, and 2 great-grandmothers (yes, all from 2 middle names, lol) but that is it. I would probably have equal remorse if we were having a girl and not getting all my nephews rocking handme downs! Butto answer your question, I think people envision their family one way so when it takes a different direction it can take some getting used to and that is fine. I have a good friend who always wanted a daughter and after having 3 boys they feel their family is complete and she says she will wait for daughters in law or grand daughters but always wanted a girl of her own. She is sad that didnt happen, but loves her boys so fiercly and wouldnt trade them for anything. [name]Hope[/name] that makes sense. :slight_smile:

With our son, he was our first(we are TTC), we knew we wanted to find out the gender at the 20 week ultrasound. For a good part of that 20 weeks I honestly felt I didn’t care. But, as the U/S/ got closer, I all of the sudden felt like I really wanted a girl. I had no feelings one way or the other in what I thought we were going to have. My husband wanted a boy first. When the tech told me it was a boy I felt tiny twinge of disappointment and then I just felt excitement at finally knowing who was in there! Now, if our 2nd child is another boy, I believe I will be much more disappointed at first, but I know I will get over it and be excited that my son will have a brother to me best friends with. We are more than likely going to wait til birth to find the gender though, because I know once I push the baby out and see, if it’s a boy, I probably will not feel any disappointment at all! :slight_smile: I definitely want a girl and we are planning on having 3 or 4 children so hopefully I will get my girl. My husband is 1 of 5 boys though, that scares me! :slight_smile:

My SO and I both really want a son. I have a hard time wrapping my head around dresses and dolls and doing hair, etc. so if my daughter was.stereotypically girly I’d be lost. I can do exactly 3 things with my hair; straighten it, pull it back or but it in a bun. That’s my extent of “expertise”.
I’m guilty of sitting around day dreaming about what my kids will pe like, what our family will be like but while I can tell you clear as day how my son acts in them I can’t picture how my daughter would act.
I’m not worried about having all of one gender; [name]Martin[/name] wants one of each but we’ve talked about adopting if we get two sons, or two daughters. His parents wound up with 5 boys trying to have a daughter which to me (and him) isn’t worth it when there are children waiting for a family.
Either way I’m sure we’ll find out the gender.

I was convinced for the first half of my pregnancy that I had no preference and stuck to the PC “healthy baby” thing. My husband on the other hand, was very outspoken about wanting a girl. To the point that he was going to be very disappointed if it was a boy. I was pretty convinced it was a boy, so I was actually a little nervous for DH as we were going into the anatomy scan! I knew before he did that it was a girl, because I was looking for those three little lines, so that gave me a few minutes to examine my feelings before he found out. I was actually shocked to find out how relieved and excited I was to be having a girl. I guess that’s how I’d always imagined things, if I’m honest, but I wouldn’t allow myself to believe it, KWIM? Going into that pregnancy, my husband only wanted one child (he’s since changed his tune), and I think I would have been very sad to not get my girl. Of course I would have loved a son just as much as I do my daughter, but… being a sister to 3 brothers, I can plainly see the differences in the parental relationship once they are grown. Obviously, things can be different for different families, but I think the “a son’s a son till he takes a wife, but a daughter’s a daughter all her life” thing has played out in most of the families I know.

I think part of what made me want a girl is that I have zero interest in sports. I would so much rather attend years of dance recitals than baseball games. But I’m not at all into princessy stuff either, and I’m completely lost when it comes to hair and makeup, stuff like that. Honestly, the things that do interest me could go either way. I love science and reading and those are both things I could share with either. Granted, it would feel a little more like a victory to have a daughter excited about science, but might be an easier sell to a little boy. I have a friend with a son and when he was little, I did stuff with them like setting off a model rocket and chipping away at a block of ice to discover plastic dinosaur bones. I’m also hoping that a son will grow up more likely to think a tattooed mom that’s into punk rock and horror movies is cool instead of embarrassing.

And all the things I was going to teach a girl, about how great women are and how she should respect herself I can teach to him too. I’m sure the future women in his life will appreciate my efforts. I think for me, it plays a big role that there’s no one male in my life that I’m close to. I’m estranged from my father and stepfather, the relationship with my son’s father is strained at best, and I had a falling out with my only close guy friend a few months ago. Meanwhile, my mom is always there for me and I have several close friendships with women dating back a decade or longer. I think maybe this is a situation where I’m not getting what I want, but I’m getting what I need.

I had always pictured myself with a girl, I actually had to psych myself into thinking [name]Rowan[/name] was a boy just so if she turned out to be I wouldn’t be disappointed. My husband is the one that can’t imagine raising a boy, oddly enough. The next child I would be perfectly happy with either, but he wants another girl.

I wanted a boy for my second, as I already had a 1 year old daughter, and I wanted a little testosterone in the house. I live with three girls! Another 18 year old girl, my daughter, and her daughter. However, it looks like we’ll be a 5-girl home! I love my little girls though. [name]Baby[/name] #2 is coming to theaters near you in [name]January[/name] 2013.

[name]Ivy[/name], [name]Eva[/name], and [name]Lily[/name]/[name]Amelia[/name]

I felt pretty much exactly as you described Kungfualex.

I had a feeling it would be a boy, but I have ALWAYS imagined having a daughter and really really wanted the baby to be a girl. Of course I was thrilled to find out that my baby was healthy, but I was also a tad disappointed to find it was a boy.

I am very girly and I had so wanted to buy the pink frilly outfits, put bows in her hair, go to dance classes, etc…and I had SO many girls names that I had loved for years and had been so spoilt for choice at which one to narrow it down to!

Instead with a boy - I found myself far less excited by the clothes, I hate sports and am not at all into the outdoors or the “rough and tumble” games boys tend to like, and worst of all…I barely like a single boys name, so instead of being spoilt for choice I have been rooting around desperately trying to find just [name]ONE[/name] name that I like.

But all in all - I am happy that my baby is healthy, and am lucky to be having him. I am sure I will love every moment of raising him, and we’ll find the right name eventually. I’m excited to meet the little guy :slight_smile:

I just hope I do get to have a daughter one day though

Haha I was thinking about this on tuesday night too! ‘The [name]New[/name] Normal’ makes me cry pretty much every week…

Since age 11, I had always had the image in my mind that I would grow up and have 3 boys. Since the day I found out I was pregnant I just had the feeling that everything would go the way I had dreamed about for so long. Obviously I waited until I learned for sure that I was right, but for some reason I just never really assumed having a girl was an option for me (even though I know that makes no logical sense). I love boy names and struggle with girl names. I will gladly leave it up to my sister to raise daughters.

My dad travelled for work when I was young so I spent most of my life with just my sister and my mother. I have one unmarried aunt and she has a daughter. My grandmother has been divorced twice. Essentially, the only boys we’ve ever had in our immediate family were the pets, haha. We pretty much have the female end of the spectrum covered. I think everyone was secretly hoping for a boy.

I definitely knew I wanted to have a boy first. I’d always envied the older brothers that so many of my friends had growing up. If I am completely honest with myself, I’ve never wanted a girl and I still don’t think I ever will (except during lamenting walks though the baby clothes section… those tutus are cute). I know I would have been disappointed if I found out I was expecting one the first time around, even though you aren’t supposed to care. If I have another child, I don’t think I will have as strong a preference since at least I’ll have gotten the “order” that I always wanted, but I still have that “Home Improvement” picture of 3 sons in my head. =]

I think I kind of got it in my head that having a boy wasn’t an option for me! Not only did I have a girl’s name picked out, I had another name in mind for her little sister I knew I’d eventually have. I had several boy names I liked, but it was kind of a scramble after the ultrasound. I felt like there were all these signs too. Being vegan at the time of conception meant a higher chance of a girl. I had intense morning sickness, which can be linked to carrying a girl. I had dreams it was a girl. My friend even sent me this Chinese chart and according to the info I plugged in, it even said girl. I know some of this is far from scientific and “more likely” doesn’t mean “absolutely” but still, I thought the evidence was stacked up enough that I wound up having to go back and change all the pink stuff on my registry.

I had a slight preference for a girl, I think it was just because I thought I would have an easier time relating to a girl, but when I found out I was having a boy I wasn’t disappointed. It just seemed right and I was thrilled. Now I can’t imagine it any other way. I have the sweetest, cuddliest, silliest boy in the world and I wouldn’t trade him for anything.

We’re about to start trying again, and this time I really don’t have a preference. Being a boy mom has been awesome. That being said, your kids personality isn’t tied to their gender and there is no reason to strictly adhere to any gender rules. Being a mom of girls or a mom of boys doesn’t guarantee any particular experience.

Part of me is hoping if/when I have another, it will be a girl, but part of me is thinking how much less stuff I’ll need to buy, both in the beginning and over the years, if I just have boys.

I found out with #1 and #2 and now I am considering waiting for #3.
I was on cloud 9 when #1 was a boy
I was scared when I found out #2 was a girl- I really wanted a girl but my husband insisted on another boy so much I thought he would be mad or treat her differently. Everything turned out fantastic and he is wrapped around her pretty little finger!
I may have a repeat cs with #3 so it will be more exciting to find out the gender of the baby vs the worry of the cs.