I have a list of about 30 boys and 30 girls names all of which I like, some of which I love. I’ve shown my husband, he says he doesn’t like any of them, but has no alternatives to offer himself! [name]How[/name] do I get him to agree to one of mine instead?
My boyfriend is really interested in names, but not until I got pregnant.
What we did (and I honestly think this is a great way to do it): we each made a list of the names we love or like. Then we exchanged lists and used one marker for names we really liked, one for maybe and one for absolutely not. This way we got a sense of what we liked ANd what we didn’t (almost more important). Try to do something like that with you husband, explain to him that he can’t just shut your ideas down and not come up with anything himself! Good luck!
you might need to get him a baby name book so he has somewhere to start. Men usually don’t think about names the way we do.
Thanks [name]Ottilie[/name],
Well I made a list and he didn’t that’s the problem. I keep making more lists in the hope that I’ll find something he likes, but to no avail. My 4 year old has more names that he likes than my husband does! I’ve got a name book, but he hasn’t looked at it! I’ve no idea how we agreed on our sons name.
[name]Ottilie[/name] is one of the names on my girls list though!
That’s so annoying! Poor you. If I were you I would tell him that if he doesn’t make an effort to find a name, you’ll pick the one you like and he’ll have to live with it. Unless he actually tells you what he likes, or make some decent suggestions, he’s simply not that interested. You might actually have to hand him the book and a marker/notepad and pen. Tell him to pick ten names he likes, or something like that. If he find that challenging, just ask him to look through the names starting with “L” (just an example) and pick some. That will give you an idea of what he likes!
I like ottille’s suggestion.
Sadly I find that threatening to make a choice on your own usually helps. my SO and I aren’t planning on kids soon. Well he isn’t, I’m working on it. It’s like a three year plan. Lol.
I’ve discovered that a lot of my guy friends are like this. Not in particular about names for their kids, but with decision making in general. They are happy not to have to worry too much but won’t mind telling you they don’t like things. I’ve come to find that telling them that either they help or the shut up (a little crude I know) usually works. Otherwise, begging and smiling are always an option but that’s exhausting. Telling a guy that you value his opinion as long as it is constructive is great, you just also have to let him know that if he just say’s he doesn’t like it, but gives you no reason why or suggestion of something else that you’ll just ignore the comment and do what you want, can get them to put their butts in gear. It’s annoying and probably not the best way to name a child, but I find it tends to work. And if it doesn’t, at least I get what I want.
The only other suggestion I have is trading favors. He has to go through the name book A-C and make a list in exchange you’ll bake his favorite pie, ect. Bribery isn’t great but bribing with his favorite foods could work.
Hang in there! You’ll find a way that works for you!
[name]Kinda[/name] loving the trading name-searching for pie idea (“trade” sounds better than “bribe”!). And I rather agree that imposing a “well, either you contribute or I name the baby on my own” rule might have some clout.
BF and I aren’t really thinking about kids, but I have sometimes found, when I indulge in talking about names, that he sometimes responds better to names he thinks are weird when I show him how they aren’t THAT out there. For instance, my father’s name is [name]Pax[/name] and I have always dreamt of naming a boy that. BF thought it was pretty out there until I pointed out that it’s not so different from [name]Max[/name] and [name]Jack[/name], which are much more “common.” (And that it has a great meaning and family history.) I think the same could sort of be said for things like [name]Ottilie[/name] (lots of girls names end in the “lee” sound) or others.