How do non-Berries choose a name?

I’ve been wondering this recently, as most of my facebook friends seem to be pregnant or new moms right now, and the names seem so boring to me. (And before someone comments and says all names are special and unique because they were given with love: I know that. I’m not arguing that their names are bad. I’m just saying naming your kid a top 10 name is boring.) I’m leaving out the people who’ve mentioned that the name they’ve chosen is a family name.

Among my friends, names seem to be equally divided into the popular and the trendy. By which I mean they either name their kids [name]William[/name] and [name]Olivia[/name]/[name]Emma[/name]/Sohpia or they name their kids [name]Mason[/name]/[name]Aiden[/name]/[name]Jaxon[/name] and [name]Brinley[/name]/[name]Paisley[/name]/[name]Bentlee[/name]/Macklee.

And I guess my question is this: how does a non-[name]Berry[/name] come to choose whichever name they choose? I’m assuming we all know non-name nerds and could ask what their process was, so I’m curious if there’s a pattern behind what they choose…whether it’s just hearing a name repeated over and over until they love it, or wanting their kid to be unique, etc.

I assume with a lot of people they just use names they hear around all the time like [name]Ava[/name], [name]Ella[/name], etc. or family names

I don’t think that naming your kid something in the Top 10 is boring. It’s what they want, so if you want to name your daughter [name]Sophia[/name] [name]Emma[/name], then go ahead. Not all people believe in deeply researching their child’s names, they just pick what they like. So I think that’s how non-Berries pick a name - they choose what they love and what sounds good!

Wow, a lot of the names on my list are in the top 10 in my country. Guess I’m really boring.

I suppose that these ‘non-berries’ (being a name-nerd doesn’t make us lot any better namers than people uninterested in names) just come across a name they like and think “I really like that” then bestow it on their child, just like almost every parent has done in the history of naming babies. Everyone has different preferences, everyone chooses a name they like. Or am I missing something? Seems kind of obvious to me tbh.

lol. I don’t know. I have a pregnant coworker, and she plans on naming her daughter [name]Mila[/name]. I’m guessing she heard it when she heard of [name]Mila[/name] Kunis, and she thought it was a cool name. She’s said over and over that she really doesn’t want a popular name, and she’s talked somewhat disdainfully about how popular [name]Isabella[/name], [name]Chloe[/name], [name]Olivia[/name], [name]Sophia[/name], etc. are. Sometimes I wonder if she realizes how trendy [name]Mila[/name] really is (and how trendy it will be!). I feel like it’s not really my spot to say anything, and honestly, I quite hate [name]Mila[/name], so I wouldn’t want to talk her out of a name she loves just because I strongly hate it. It’s not a popular name yet, but I’m sure it’s headed straight to the top, and I wonder how she’ll feel about her daughter in five years when little [name]Mila[/name] is starting kindergarten.

The other people I know who are having babies, though–they just seem to choose names that are very typical of people I know in my state. I know very few babies (or know of very few babies) with top 10 names, but I come across a lot of very common names that are outside the top 10 (like [name]Samuel[/name], [name]Arianna[/name], [name]Nicholas[/name], [name]Tyler[/name], [name]Gavin[/name], etc.). In the past couple years, I’ve come across:

[name]Natalie[/name] [name]Grace[/name] and [name]Jillian[/name] [name]Nicole[/name] (siblings–[name]Jillian[/name] was born earlier this year, and [name]Natalie[/name] was born a couple years ago)
[name]Gavin[/name] [name]Michael[/name]
[name]Isabella[/name] (my boss’s wife just named her baby this a couple weeks ago. They have a few other kids, they’re Croatian, and I’m just curious what the other kids are! I’m guessing their names are fairly common…)
[name]Theodore[/name] “[name]Teddy[/name]” (it was a family name, though. Big sisters are [name]Layla[/name] and [name]Arianna[/name] “[name]Anna[/name]”)

And before I left my last job, a coworker (who will be a teen mom) had just found out she was pregnant… She asked me about names because she knew I loved them. Before she found out she was pregnant, she had liked [name]Hannah[/name] [name]Gabriella[/name] and [name]Caden[/name] … something (she didn’t know for a combo, but her boyfriend liked [name]Caden[/name] [name]Daniel[/name]. I think [name]Caden[/name] [name]Alexander[/name] and [name]Caden[/name] [name]James[/name] were also tossed around). When we talked about names, she liked [name]Luca[/name] and [name]Elijah[/name]. She liked the idea of an Italian name, because her family is Italian.

I think honestly, a lot of people who aren’t Berries think of the same thing–I just don’t think their criteria is as strict as most of us are. I don’t think they freak out so much about popularity, or care so much about unisex names, or stress so much about a name. They hear it, they like it, they use it. And it’s a done deal, haha. I know the mom of [name]Gavin[/name] [name]Michael[/name]… if [name]Gavin[/name] had been a boy, she said she would have named her [name]Skylyn[/name] [name]Jade[/name]. She had always liked [name]Jade[/name], but didn’t like it so much anymore as a FN when she got pregnant. She liked the idea of [name]Skye[/name], but wanted a fuller name. [name]Hence[/name], the trendy (and, imo, a bit stripperish) [name]Skylyn[/name] [name]Jade[/name].

Most people think about names in a similar way to what we do.
They may not have lists by the hundreds but they probably have looked at a name book or two and marked down what they like. They’ve probably had conversations with their SO and maybe their family and friends and then pared it down to a short list.

The process isn’t all that different, just on a smaller scale (and possibly with less stress :))

Many people obviously don’t pay attention to a lot of the “rules” that we maintain about crafting perfectly balanced names and sets–but it gets the job done :slight_smile:

I agree with kala_way. [name]Non[/name]-berries probably do some research, buy name books, ask around, but maybe not to as much extent. In some ways it’s a bit of a curse to be that person who spends hours agonizing over whether [name]Eliane[/name] or [name]Elaine[/name] is better in terms of flow, popularity, meaning, etc. :slight_smile:

I don’t think the world is divided into berries (or name nerds) and non-berries. Of course, there must be SOME people who just use the first name they like without doing any research, just like there are some people (i.e., me) who buy the first car they like without doing much research. Car afficionados must think I’m the most boring person in the planet because I drive a gray Corolla, but it’s just not a big deal to me. Likewise, a name nerd might scoff at [name]Jacob[/name], but his mom may say she picked her favourite name and would do it again, despite the popularity. As long as they don’t do something truly horrible and name their kid Hitler or Stupid, it’s none of my business.

Are we really going to argue about whether or not choosing a top 10 name is boring again? Really? It seems like this debate happens every few days.

If you think choosing a top 10 name is boring: I agree with you. We’re allowed to think that. It does not make us bad people.

If you think choosing a top 10 name isn’t boring: I disagree with you. You’re allowed to think that. Although I disagree with you, that does not make me a bad person.

There. Done. Can we not? I think this post was supposed to be more about the thought process behind choosing a name than the merits of specific popularity levels.

When I started researching names, before I became a [name]Berry[/name], the first thing I did was type “popular baby names” into Google and write down the ones I liked. Thank god I soon discovered Nameberry! I think the process for many non-Berries is similar to mine without stumbling upon this site. A glance at a list of popular names and a brainstorm about which other names they’ve heard and liked.

I think they just pick names that they’ve heard that they like, which isn’t so different from us, we just do a lot more research. A lot of people try to pick names that aren’t too common, but they still think the common names are the names they remember hearing a lot when they were in school, not what’s popular now. I think a lot of people want to pick names with significance, but they don’t really know how to go about it, so they end up using family names that aren’t very creative or being too creative and making up a name.

They either a) buy a baby name book, b) use a name that they have heard (someone they’ve met or a name from a book or movie) or c) use a family name. They probably do not realize that the name they are choosing is popular and they certainly wouldn’t think it was boring. Most people have no clue what the name trends are. My husband likes names from the 80s and 90s cuz those are the names he knows.
My local radio station posted the blogs about the top berry names for girls and boys and thought they were the most popular names that were being used not searched!
I am a “name-nerd” because I have an unusual name and I used to check out the baby name books from the library when I was younger over and over and I started making lists. I wonder if the librarian thought I was going to be a teen mom… When the internet came I realized that there were other people like me out there. I always thought I was the only one!
Most people just don’t care to spend hours reading blogs and making name combos. Most people don’t even care about flow. They just go with what they like. In a way I think it must be nice since I have no clue how I will ever decide. I am not good at making decisions, especially on one name combo. There are too many wonderful names that I love.
Anyway, we shouldn’t judge these people too harshly. Unless they are celebrities and name their daughter [name]North[/name] [name]West[/name] or their son [name]Pilot[/name] Inspektor. Honestly, they are just awful! :wink:

My [name]SIL[/name] picked [name]Aiden[/name] for her son because it was a [name]Saint[/name]'s name, Irish and she liked how it sounded. She didn’t realize it was so popular (he was born in 2008) though until after he was born and it’s only continued to get more popular.
I think she thinks a lot about how it sounds with little concern for popularity. She loved the name [name]Emma[/name] for a girl.
My husband either likes a name or he doesn’t. Sometimes it’s because he know somebody with the name (we can’t do [name]Margaret[/name] since he went to school with a mean little girl named [name]Margaret[/name]). But most of the time I’m not sure if there is a real reason why he dislikes a name or not. [name]Just[/name] how he feels about it.

This is a great way of looking at it. My nephew is [name]Matthew[/name] and my niece is [name]Katherine[/name]. My sister chose them (and the equally common middles) for family. I know she tossed around a few more names that were a little less common, but in the end, those are what she chose. Would I have chosen names that common? Obviously not. But I don’t fault her for them. They are good names and I’d rather meet little Matts, Jacobs, & Michaels and Katies, Sophias, & Elizabeths than Jayssens and Maddesyns.

I think most people choose names the same way we do, except most people don’t a) research their favorite names, b) post extensively on baby name forums, c) scour every possible source for new options, or d) know the first thing about name popularity or naming trends.

Well, I have discussed this with multiple friends (all non-mother-teenaged-girls), and it really comes down to:

[i]You know, I think [name]Codi[/name] and [name]Austyn[/name] would be cute on girls. And [name]Doon[/name] for a boy.

[name]One[/name] of my friends’ cousins is named Navim, that’s a pretty cool name.

I’ve always thought [name]Victoria[/name] was an awesome name. And [name]Xavier[/name].

My children [name]WILL[/name] be named God and Megatron. Because who doesn’t want to be friends with God? And… I mean… MEGATRON.[/i]

And I’m just like, cool beans. I am in full support of #4 there. And #2, that IS a cool name. Of course, if I attempt to have more conversation about it, they get bored/confused/annoyed and tell me I’m overthinking things. And I’m like NO. You are UNDERTHINKING things.

I mean, asking the internet changes the scope and number of names, but not really the process. So it’s probably the same as it is here, with less input and fewer names.

Wow, some of you are sensitive! I wasn’t meaning to diss popular names at all…I just said the same names over and over again are boring, not that it’s a crime or that the names are hideous or people who like them are bad namers or that there can’t be some sort of meaning behind it. If you read all of that in my original post, I’m sorry; I re-read it and I don’t feel like anything I said had any malice behind it.

I’m more interested in discussing what sort of tools a non-[name]Berry[/name] would use to gauge the popularity or trendiness or likeability amongst peers of any given name. Perhaps I should have worded that more clearly.

lol. This site has so much drama is makes me laugh :smiley:

Anyway, tools… baby name books. I have two, I was going to use them for character naming, but then I turned thirteen and discovered the internet. So I just… have them… I still use them sometimes, just to take a look at what I’m not looking for. I imagine that a lot of parents do this. Buy one of those 50,000 name books, read the fun lists, skim the rest, pick out ones they like and go from there.

Or what my parents did: family names. Their grandparents. Their children. Same names!

On another forum I was seeing a lot of ‘combine mine and my husbands name to make a baby!’ But haven’t seen any of that here?

To gauge popularity, how many do they know of? What names have their friends used? Ask around. Hey, you said your cousin had a baby last year, what name did she use?

Growing up I read Beyond [name]Madison[/name] and [name]Montana[/name] from cover to cover along with a few other naming books. You can get name books from the library and I think a lot of people just pull names from names they’ve heard while out or people they’ve met.

I wasn’t a nameberry when picking my sons names - I used forums, books, friends and family. There are a LOT of opportunities to get name inspiration OTHER than NB. NB isn’t the only name site either.

I do know that I’m a bit “name overkill” compared to my friends. And most of my friends tend to use the same names too - I know 8 newborn boys who was named [name]Liam[/name] over the past 6 months and 5 girls named [name]Caroline[/name]. I do tend to find it boring when people chose the same names over and over again, but then most of my friends find my name taste too adventurous (I can guarantee, if I didn’t have a partner who keeps me “grounded” my boys would probably have more adventurous names.)