[name_m]Just[/name_m] out of curiosity, how do you guys and your SO go about choosing or talking about names?
[name_f]Do[/name_f] you each make a list and decide together?
Does one of you come up with every single name while the other just says yes or no while offering no other input?
Does anyone have an SO who is just as interested in names?
Does your SO cling to only one or two names and refuse to budge on them?
Does your SO hate talk about names?
I’m super curious to see how everyone goes about this
I don’t have an SO yet, buuut, I asked my mum, who has always said she had my name chosen when she was about 18-19 (10 years before I came along, and about 3-4 before she and my dad started dating). She said that my dad did come up with a list for her, and they were agreeing on almost everything when it came to girls, but in the end, I was definitely a [name_u]Haley[/name_u] [name_f]Alannah[/name_f] (I think my dad’s inspiration for girls names was from classic film stars - he had [name_f]Olivia[/name_f] as one of his forerunners because of [name_f]Olivia[/name_f] de Haviland)
She also said boys were a lot more difficult, so they were basically hoping I’d be a girl, because the only boys name they could literally throw together was [name_u]Mackenzie[/name_u] [name_m]Daniel[/name_m] (with [name_m]Charles[/name_m] as a potential 3rd name) or [name_m]Jonathan[/name_m] [name_u]Mackenzie[/name_u] [name_m]Charles[/name_m]. Neither of them liked the two all that much (I think [name_u]Mackenzie[/name_u] was the only agreed on choice, because it honoured my deceased grandfather), so the boys choice wasn’t really one they adored.
With my sister, my mum chose made a list, and my dad was set on a [name_m]French[/name_m] name/name with a [name_m]French[/name_m] sound, so again, they each made a list and just paired things up to see what fit in what spot. She was almost a [name_f]Madeleine[/name_f] (dad’s pick).
In that case, my mum was the stubborn one, my dad was just glad that I had a name they both liked
[name_f]My[/name_f] fiance says he’s not good with names, so he doesn’t make lists or anything. He doesn’t hate to talk about it, but he’s not “into” names like I am. We have talked about what we would name our child, with me saying that it will probably be hard considering I like a lot of different names, and with him saying he likes traditional names which aren’t overused the most. We both agree that we will want to choose our child’s name based on how well it will suit them throughout life and not just as a “kid” name. I will probably want to begin calling our baby by his or her name before they’re born, while my fiance believes that it’s not really possible to know a baby’s name until you see them.
[name_f]My[/name_f] SO is fantastic about talking names with me. He brings them up as often as I do So far, we’ve only really talked about our ultimate favourites, and then combed through [name_u]Mischa[/name_u]'s “Beyond the top 1000” post, which gave us a ton of awesome ideas that we agreed upon.
I actually went through [name_u]Mischa[/name_u]'s post with my SO in mind, and I pulled out everything I loved and also thought he would love, judging by what other names we’d talked about to that point. We were just hanging out one night and I read them off, and he gave me his feedback (almost all of it was positive).
He’s active in suggesting things, or mentioning names he likes when he hears them. Thank goodness he isn’t one of those “No, no, no, veto, no, no” guys who won’t offer suggestions.
I think we’re both more flexible than we anticipated. I went in to this relationship with [name_m]Edmund[/name_m] as a #1 name since I was 8 years old. He doesn’t love it, and I had very little issue putting it on the back burner. I totally hated the first 3 names he told me he loved… they’re off the list now. Neither of us wants to pick something the other one doesn’t love. We’re pretty good at compromising in general, so I think we can handle it if we have kids.
I’m also really glad he understands names are a hobby for me. It definitely doesn’t mean I want kids right now (or necessarily at all…). I love researching them as a passion, and talking about them as a pastime. It doesn’t weird him out, or make him feel pressured, and I’m relieved.
^^ [name_f]My[/name_f] boyfriend is one of those Negative Nancies that refuses every name and offer no suggestions. It’s frustrating, but he never gets frustrated at my naming so I guess it’s a trade off. I come up with all of the suggestions, because the ONE time he tried to come up with some, it was pretty bad, haha.
[name_f]My[/name_f] SO is dead set on naming his son [name_m]Elvis[/name_m], even though we have talked about other names and agreed on a combo with [name_m]Elvis[/name_m] as a middle he won’t budge from the name and I don’t want it used. He does offer names for both genders and we have agreed on a few, because we aren’t planning on having children for another 3+ years we don’t really talk about names much. He has said that he likes word names and unusual names that you don’t hear everyday, we will probably talk more closer to the time, for now he is deadset on [name_m]Elvis[/name_m] and I am against it.
[name_f]My[/name_f] husband likes “normal” names like [name_f]Brittany[/name_f], [name_u]Ashley[/name_u], [name_m]Alexander[/name_m] and stuff like that (I don’t mind [name_m]Alexander[/name_m] though) I don’t like weird out-there names but I do like classic/unique names. As long as he can pronounce him he really doesn’t care (some names though I will have to be persistent though) So I pretty much have full control <3 Of course if he absolutely hated the name I wouldn’t use it, but if it was only because he wasn’t sure how to pronounce it than it’s okay. Although I do kind of wish that he was more into unique names and coming them up with me, I’m also glad he doesn’t because I feel like it will be much easier. He did pick out Gabriel for our future kids name (: so he is getting better lol
[name_f]My[/name_f] SO pretty much goes along with my name talk for a few minutes until he checks out. Granted I’m not pregnant yet so it’s only theoretical… But he’ll entertain me for a bit until he’s over it!
He tends to like unisex names for girls (he likes the nn [name_u]Andy[/name_u] for a girl, for example) and unusual names for boys (he liked [name_f]Indigo[/name_f] for a bit), nature names for both (again [name_f]Indigo[/name_f], but also wasn’t against [name_u]River[/name_u] for a girl).
He finds the classics I like to be a little boring unless there’s a spunky nickname to use. Funny/lighthearted nicknames get his attention, for example he loves Weezie for [name_f]Eloise[/name_f], thinks it’s funny and can picture having a not-princessy daughter Weezie.
Almost all the time it’s me mentioning names, but since I have been talking names he’s started to mention notable names he’s seen, or threads on reddit, and we both like to read the credits for shows and movies for interesting names. It makes me smile when we’re watching TV and he comments on a character’s name, because he knows how much I like to think about names.
I’m still a little crushed he squashed my suggestion of [name_m]Benedict[/name_m] nn benno/[name_m]Ben[/name_m] while watching [name_m]Sherlock[/name_m], though. I [name_u]LOVE[/name_u] it, and he said [name_m]Benedict[/name_m] was ridiculous and [name_m]Ben[/name_m] was THE most boring name for a boy.
Well I had three girl names picked out well before I was thinking about seriously having kids. [name_f]Ellie[/name_f], [name_u]Ruby[/name_u], and [name_f]Lyla[/name_f]. When me and my husband we married for five months I brought them up becuase we had been trying to get pregnant for a little while. He liked them! No big objections. He said we could use one of my favorites for the first girl, and then he’d get to pick the second second and so on.
We ended up stopping trying because my husbands ex decided she didn’t want to raise my then 14 month old step daughter. Which my husband was raising by himself with my help anyway. I adopted her and he got full custody, and we changed her name from [name_f]Elianna[/name_f] to [name_f]Ellie[/name_f]. Then after 6 years we decided to have baby number two. Now we are expecting our third at the end if the year!
He wanted the boy, if we are ever blessed with one, to be named after his late father. So we have [name_m]Scott[/name_m] [name_m]Allen[/name_m] [name_m]Thomas[/name_m] picked put. [name_m]Scott[/name_m] is for his dad, [name_m]Allen[/name_m] is a huge family name on both sides and [name_m]Thomas[/name_m] is my dads mn. [name_f]My[/name_f] husband picked out [name_f]Anna[/name_f] for our second daughter. Which wasn’t on my absolute favorites, but still a beloved name. It’s my moms middle name and my husbands grandmas name.
And now we have [name_u]Ruby[/name_u], [name_f]Lyla[/name_f], and [name_m]Scott[/name_m] set aside for number 3. (Still decided on the girls-we’re torn right now!) We aren’t finding out the gender this time. Possibly [name_f]Nyla[/name_f], but that is a whole other story. Lol.
So pretty much we had all our kids names chosen well before they were conceived.
[name_f]My[/name_f] fiance is okay with a name talk, as long as it’s once in awhile. We’re definitely the type where I come up with a name and he says yes or no, however I’m not very good on taking no for an answer, so quite often I mention a name enough times that he eventually can tolerate it. He doesn’t typically offer up any names of his own, but he does once in awhile, though they have never been anything I’d agree to. The only real input he’s had is in regards to the honor names he wants used, which I’ve taken into consideration.
He doesn’t get attached to names as much as I do, but the ones that stay around for awhile he does. Like, if I all of a sudden told him I didn’t want to use [name_m]Alexander[/name_m] he’d probably lose it.
Generally I come up with names, run them passed them and he says yes or no. He will also offer suggestions, but usually his choices are a bit too mainstream for my taste.
In saying that, I have found that just because he hates a name, there’s no need to delete it off the list because they often grow on him. For example, in one of our early name discussions I floated the name [name_m]Ted[/name_m] passed him and he absolutely HATED it. I tried to convince him, but had no success. [name_m]Ted[/name_m] was removed from my usable list, and added to my other list. Not long ago, SO was looking over my shoulder at said list, and spotted [name_m]Ted[/name_m]- “[name_m]Ted[/name_m]… that’s a pretty cool name!” So [name_m]Ted[/name_m]'s back on the list.
It’s happened with a couple of other names too. I think he’s taken aback when I first mention them but they grow on him with exposure. I wouldn’t use something he hated, it has to be a name we both like.
[name_f]My[/name_f] husband is loves talking about names! We have a VERY similar style so we have had no issue picking our favourite names at all. There’s one or two names that I like that he doesn’t, and vice versa, but for the most part we’re on the same page.
And if one of us doesn’t like us doesn’t like a name, then we get rid of it. I don’t want to name our child something knowing that my DH doesn’t love their name, and that’s the most important thing.
Our top names have stayed the same for YEARS. We found the ones we loved, and they stuck, and we haven’t even technically started TTC yet
@anotherkate Haha. I went over to Dad’s house the other day and he decided we should have a [name_m]Sherlock[/name_m] marathon (best dad ever). He actually turned to me as [name_m]Benedict[/name_m] Cumberbatch’s name came up on screen and said very seriously: ‘I hope you’ll consider [name_m]Benedict[/name_m] for your first child. At least consider [name_m]Martin[/name_m].’ He is dead set on having a grandchild named [name_m]Benedict[/name_m] (nn [name_m]Eddie[/name_m], [name_m]Ben[/name_m], [name_m]Ned[/name_m] or [name_u]Dennie[/name_u]), so they can be little Cumber Collective nerds together. Ideally, he would love a grandchild named [name_m]Sherlock[/name_m] [name_m]Benedict[/name_m], or [name_m]Benedict[/name_m] [name_m]Sherlock[/name_m], but I am pretty sure that is too much :). He would always be the kid who people say: ‘Geez… You’re parent’s liked [name_m]Sherlock[/name_m], didn’t they?’ [name_m]Benedict[/name_m] is a lovely name though- I am definitely considering it. I’ll name my next cow [name_m]Sherlock[/name_m]. That’ll make him happy- he’ll bring the moo cow inside and they can solve deductions together while he makes it black coffee with two sugars.
[name_f]My[/name_f] boyfriend is super anti naming…we’ve been together for almost 4 years, plan to get married in a couple years and kids after. I love love love talking about names!! But every name I mention a name to him he immediately shoots it down or just kinda brushes it off. He’s much better with boys than girls…he has admitted to liking [name_m]Greyson[/name_m] and [name_u]Mason[/name_u], which are just meh to me. No girl names he has said he likes. And when I ask him what kind of names he likes, he says he doesn’t know. He says the names I like are “too fancy” or “too sophisticated”. But, he has given me some criteria finally…no girl names that end in A. I just want one girl name that he admits to actually liking, lol! Uhg. Frustrating, but I love him anyways! I think he’ll come around once we have a kid…and we have plenty of time for it
(I think my dad’s inspiration for girls names was from classic film stars - he had [name_f]Olivia[/name_f] as one of his forerunners because of [name_f]Olivia[/name_f] de Haviland)