It probably should not, but the word sibset just really bugs me. It sounds immature. Why call siblings sibsets, even if their names match? Okay, for real I love baby name games, but some grate on my nerves.
I am not going to judge by age, being only 15 but they can get pretty ridiculous, especially when they involve teen pregnancy or naming adopted children. It doesn’t seem right to make a game out of things like that. It’s worse on yahoo answers. Real people need help, but you put spammy, long and unrealistic “games” about fake families. I have a confession: I’ve “played” them before. But I stopped. They dig into potentially personal information, asking for names of family members, even displaying photos of random children you don’t know! Whose sick idea was it to have people “name” complete strangers? They aren’t your kids, they’re real people and have names which their own parents gave them. I’ll say again, I like the games but they can be too much at times.
Sibset is a word I use quite often and I’m not ashamed to so. There’s nothing immature about it. I just find it much easier to use that word instead of using the term “name cohesiveness”. Everyone knows that each child is an individual so there’s nothing sinister behind it. “Sibset” just means that the names seem like “good fits” and the children sound like they’re members of a well-integrated and unified family. What’s wrong with prefering that siblings bear names that sound like they’re from the same family (eg. their names sound like they have the same two parents)? The names can originate from different styles (eg. classical/traditional/vintage/mythological) but I like all of them to be like a cohesive unit. Names don’t have to “match” but they have to make “sense”. I love sibling names to “belong” together rather than have one oddity that stands out from the others. So I use the term “sibset” just for simplicity’s sake rather than to “bug” anybody. In the end, though, loving a name is the most important factor in choosing it.
Hello, [name_u]Mischa[/name_u]. Thanks for the polite response. I think the term may grow on me, as have some names I hated, perhaps it was just unusal to me. I must admit, I can be harsh at times. It’s possible that growing up, nobody’s names had to go together, but I can understand the desire. [name_f]My[/name_f] siblings both have c names. I have an a name, and do not fell left out. It probably depends on the ideals of the parents. I don’t have many friends, so I don’t pay attention to sibling names as much as others. You have shed some light on a new term for me.
Part of it with the games is that people need to try to make a situation where they can give names without it constantly being “if you had __ boys and __ girls, what would you name them?”. I don’t think anyone who is involved in the name games are trying to be disrespectful, but I don’t know about the ones on yahoo. A lot of people have a certain vision of what a name looks like. It’s sort of like when you see someone and your first thought is “hmm, they don’t look/act like an ___”. Usually, they aren’t trying to replace the name, but instead just say what name they would expect that person to have or just the name they would give a child if they knew it was going to grow up to look that way.
The adoption thing doesn’t bother me at all. [name_f]My[/name_f] name was changed when I was adopted, so it’s a pretty realistic type of discussion for me. I’m actually happy when people actually consider adoptees because usually we’re forgotten about when people discuss families.
I don’t think the term ‘sibset’ or playing name-games is in anyway detrimental to actual children so I don’t see what the issue it.
‘‘Sibset’’ was annoying to me first too (I do find it a very superficial/objectifying description of young children but it’s intentions are entirely harmless) and I avoid using it in certain situations, but it is quite useful on Nameberry and I have used it quite often in the past.
For example if a new member makes a post mentioning she has older children called X and Z I wouldn’t say ‘‘with your sibset I prefer [name_f]Abigail[/name_f] to [name_f]Rose[/name_f]’’ and instead list her children’s names - just because I assume she is not aware of the term and might be thrown by it. If it was a long-term member, or in a hypothetical post - I would probably use it for ease, it’s just less hassle than typing ‘‘with [name_f]Lucy[/name_f], [name_f]Flora[/name_f] and [name_u]James[/name_u]’’ or ‘‘with the other sibling’s names’’.
Whether or not you play ‘‘name-games’’ is your own choice. I used to find some of them vaguely fulfilling, but I can’t say I see much point either. That being said some people do, and they’re entirely innocent. Calling it a ‘sick idea’ is an overreaction in my opinion - just don’t play them if you don’t want to.
I can understand that people don’t like the term sibset, but it an easy shorthand for talking about the concept of sibling names going together. Matching is all relative anyway. Some people want to match siblings (especially twins) so that they practically have the same name, like a set of twins names [name_m]Adrian[/name_m] and [name_f]Adriana[/name_f], or themed together like [name_f]Lily[/name_f] and [name_f]Rose[/name_f], other people don’t care and name their children [name_f]Nevaeh[/name_f], [name_f]Elizabeth[/name_f] and [name_u]Hunter[/name_u]. They aren’t usually the most important thing to consider [name_f]IMO[/name_f] but each parent has their own evaluation.
As far as name games go, I don’t participate, but I’m also in the naming an actual child phase, so I have an outlet for my name obsession. I can understand the appeal of name games, it’s like naming story characters without the writing part.