How do you let go of a name you love?

[name]Hi[/name] again everyone! I wanted to ask if anyone knows how to let go of a name you love - or atleast has any ideas that might work. My husband and I had four beautiful children: [name]Justin[/name] (who passed away), [name]Jacob[/name] (7), [name]Alanna[/name] (2), and [name]Sariah[/name] (almost 3 months). For medical reasons, I can not have any more children, and I am having a really hard time with this.

We love our daughter, [name]Sariah[/name]'s name, but the name I had really loved for her was [name]Caitlyn[/name] or [name]Cailyn[/name]. During the entire pregnancy DH had shot down both, but at one point had warmed up to [name]Caitlyn[/name] and it was on the list. That was short lived, though. Eventually we narrowed our list down to [name]Sariah[/name] and [name]Juliana[/name]. [name]Sariah[/name] definitely fits our daughter, [name]Juliana[/name] would have been the wrong choice for her.

I can’t help but look at her and call her [name]Caitlyn[/name] sometimes… she looks like a [name]Caitlyn[/name] to me. I had mentioned changing her name (and of course DH now says that we could change it to [name]Caitlyn[/name] if I wanted to AND that he likes the name! I’m pretty upset w/ him about that), but [name]Sariah[/name] is her name and I reallydon’t want to change it.

Her full name is [name]Sariah[/name] [name]Raquel[/name], and I thought about maybe slipping it in as a second middle name - [name]Sariah[/name] [name]Caitlyn[/name] [name]Raquel[/name]. Or even as a second first name with a hyphen - [name]Sariah[/name]-[name]Caitlyn[/name] [name]Raquel[/name]. But I’m not too sure about either of those. I’m wondering if I should just let go of the name, but I don’t know how. It’s like trying to let go of something that you love.

If anyone has any thoughts or ideas, please share them.

I would recommend changing her name. If you love the name that much why let the opportunity pass, she is only 3 months old.
But, if like you said, you really are adverse to doing that, then I think that adding [name]Caitlyn[/name] as a middle name is the next best choice. [name]Sariah[/name] [name]Caitlyn[/name] [name]Raquel[/name] sounds nice and you will still have the option of calling her [name]Caitlyn[/name].
Good [name]Luck[/name].

Oh, [name]Raquel[/name]!

I’m sorry you’re having a hard time letting go of [name]Caitlyn[/name]! I prefer the spelling [name]Caitlin[/name] myself, as it is my cousin’s name, but what is it about [name]Caitlyn[/name] that you love so much?

Now, you know I’m not going to come on here and tell you to change [name]Sariah[/name]'s name. [name]Sariah[/name] is a beautiful name - feminine, exotic, unique, and sophisticated - everything I think you wanted in her name, right? You said it yourself - she is a [name]Sariah[/name]! She looks like a [name]Sariah[/name], she embodies the name [name]Sariah[/name]. Why change it now, especially when you say that you love it? Not to mention, [name]Jacob[/name], [name]Alanna[/name], and [name]Sariah[/name] just “works” so beautifully as a sibling set.

I know the issue with a middle name is that you want it to be after family, but what about changing her name to [name]Sariah[/name] [name]Caitlin[/name] if you love it so much? I don’t love it with your last name, but it is the thought that counts, right? She currently has your first name as her middle name, but I think giving her a middle name that you love so much is just as good a way to honor you, personally. I know we had initially talked about naming her [name]Sariah[/name] [name]Cate[/name] or [name]Sariah[/name] [name]Cait[/name] - the Irish! - when we were brainstorming names so long ago. Still a great option!

Ordinarily, I’d tell you to go out and get a pet and name it [name]Caitlin[/name], but I don’t know if that is the best idea. I doubt that would really solve your problem, and can you imagine a dog with the name [name]Caitlin[/name]? Not so much.

So, I’d tell you to think about why you love it so much, and then think about why you love [name]Sariah[/name]. Then, think about why [name]Sariah[/name] is such a [name]Sariah[/name], and maybe - hopefully! - you’ll see that you made a great choice and you’ll be able to put [name]Caitlin[/name] to rest. Give it a try and let me know how it goes! I’ll be thinking of you!

Take care, and good luck! Send hugs and kisses to [name]Jacob[/name], [name]Alanna[/name], and [name]Sariah[/name] for me!

[name]Lemon[/name] :slight_smile:

Since she is three months old, there is no harm at all in deciding to change her name . If you are going to do it, I would do it sooner rather than later. [name]Sariah[/name] is a beautiful name, but you’ve now had three months to really live with it and try it out. If you are not deep-down happy with it, then go with the name you love most. It sounds like your husband is leaning the same way, since he now says he would approve [name]Caitlyn[/name], which you originally wanted, but he didn’t. To test it out, I recommend calling her [name]Caitlyn[/name] regularly for a few days to really get a sense of how you and your husband feel about it. In doing that, it will be important to discover if you end up missing the name [name]Sariah[/name] (in which case maybe keep it as her first name and add [name]Caitlyn[/name] as another middle name) – or – if instead you feel relief with calling her [name]Caitlyn[/name] (then you could change her first name to [name]Caitlyn[/name]). If you use [name]Caitlyn[/name], I would spell it in the most standard way possible.

[name]Just[/name] make sure you feel good (really deep-down) about her name!

I thought about this alot last night. I know I don’t want to change her name. I do love her name, we both do. DH isn’t to thrilled with the idea of having [name]Caitlyn[/name] as her mn - neither changing it nor as a 2nd mn, but I’m still working on it.

Haha! [name]Lauren[/name], the thought of getting a pet and naming it [name]Caitlyn[/name] did cross my mind, but that’s not going to happen. I love [name]Caitlyn[/name] for it meaning and for the Irish origin. I know you like [name]Caitlin[/name], but for some reason to me the spelling [name]Caitlyn[/name] is more appealing to me. I really, really don’t want to change [name]Sariah[/name]'s name, so I’ll just keep working on getting DH to warm up to the idea of the 2nd mn - I’d really like to try to keep my name in there.

Btw, we have a nn for her. It’s not [name]Sari[/name] like you had suggested, which I think is cute. But [name]Jacob[/name] and [name]Alanna[/name] started calling her [name]Riah[/name] all on their own. Dh doesn’t really like it at all, but too bad. I didn’t like [name]Jake[/name] and Dh calls [name]Jacob[/name] that all the time. I also call her Ri ([name]Ry[/name]), and sometimes Ri-Ri ([name]Ry[/name]-[name]Ry[/name] - not too sure how I want to spell it yet). But mostly, she is [name]Sariah[/name]. :slight_smile:

[name]Hi[/name], [name]Raquel[/name]!

I think that Ri-Ri is adorable, as is Ri! So sweet that [name]Jacob[/name] and [name]Alanna[/name] have their own name for her with [name]Riah[/name], too. Oh, your husband can just get over it, right? He can call her whatever he wants!

I think it is a good choice, personally, not to change her name. Keep working on your husband about the second middle name:

[name]Sariah[/name] [name]Caitlyn[/name] [name]Raquel[/name] Gorman*
[name]Sariah[/name] [name]Raquel[/name] [name]Caitlyn[/name] Gorman
[name]Sariah[/name] [name]Cait[/name] [name]Raquel[/name] Gorman*
[name]Sariah[/name] [name]Raquel[/name] [name]Cait[/name] Gorman

  • my picks!

Good luck!

[name]Lemon[/name] :slight_smile:

[name]Hi[/name] RK…I am so sorry about your son [name]Justin[/name]! I know what it is like to be so in love with a name, and not be able to use it. I have always LOVED the name [name]Caroline[/name], but when it came time to name our daughter, the name just didn’t fit, as my DH did not like it with our long last name.
So we went with [name]Emily[/name], which fits her to a “t.” However, we are not having any more children, so I am left hoping that [name]Emily[/name] or [name]Kyle[/name] (my son) will choose [name]Caroline[/name] for one of their daughters. Maybe this “solution” appeals to you?

[name]Sariah[/name] [name]Caitlyn[/name] [name]Raquel[/name] Gorman is my first choice too.

[name]Lauren[/name]…are you pregnant?! I saw your thread, and wasn’t sure if you’re pregnant or just working on your fave’s list. [name]EDIT[/name] - I just re-read it… you’re just working on your list. You got me so excited for a minute! Lol

Kyemsma - I have thought about that too! But I’m thinking that [name]Caitlyn[/name] might be so outdated at that point because of its over popularity now.

[name]Hi[/name] there!
I just love [name]Sariah[/name]'s name, and am glad you aren’t planning on changing it. ([name]Riah[/name], Ri and Ri-Ri are all darling nicknames!)

I don’t know that I have any expert advice to give when it comes to letting go of [name]Caitlyn[/name], but I’ll throw out a few suggestions anyway:

Since you are unable to have more children, would you consider adopting? Is it wanting more children or just wanting the name [name]Caitlyn[/name] that is causing you to grieve? Perhaps a little of both? Maybe that’s why it’s so hard to let go of the name?

I think it was lemon who said you should try to sit down and think of the reasons why you love [name]Caitlyn[/name] and why it has such emotional ties for you, and I agree!

Above all, I would suggest giving yourself a little more time. Take some time for yourself, go for a walk or coffee, or go shopping, whatever it is that helps you unwind, and see if you can get to the root of your sadness.

I find that I often put a lot of worry and emotion into things that aren’t actually the problem in order to deflect away from what’s really on my mind.

If after thinking about it some more, you truly, truly can’t live without the name, I like the idea of adding it as a second middle name, probably as [name]Sariah[/name] [name]Caitlyn[/name] [name]Raquel[/name].

And if nothing else you can hold on to hope that maybe one of your children will name their child [name]Caitlyn[/name] down the road! Or perhaps you have a friend/relative that you could “give” the name to?
Maybe you can even have a ceremony of sorts, “giving” the name [name]Caitlyn[/name] to all the little Caitlyns that will be born this year. It sounds kind of silly but sometimes something like that can help. :slight_smile:

I wish you the best of luck and send lots of warm hugs!


Oh, gosh! No, I’m not pregnant. But, in about, say, six or so years, when maybe I will be expecting, I’ll be back on NB and hopefully you’ll still be around here!

I think [name]Dove[/name] made a good point. Perhaps you are not only grieving the fact that you couldn’t - or didn’t - use [name]Caitlyn[/name] for your [name]Sariah[/name]'s name, but you are actually grieving the fact that you cannot have any more children. In either case, it is something you need to come to terms with in whatever way possible, right?

I do really like [name]Sariah[/name] [name]Caitlyn[/name] [name]Raquel[/name] Gorman, as it breaks up the R sounds in [name]Sariah[/name] [name]Raquel[/name], you know? [name]Just[/name] keep pressing hubby about it, and maybe things will work out!

I’ll be thinking of you and wishing you good luck!

[name]Lemon[/name] :slight_smile: