I’m currently struggling with this!
Everywhere on the forums I see people with 10, 5 or even just 3 names for each gender in their signatures. I see people posting long lists of about 20 names and people who actually want to add to their lists!
[name_f]My[/name_f] long lists are of about 1000 for each gender (recently narrowed down from 3000, but still being tweaked, and yes, added to). I’ve tried making short lists with 12 names for boys and 12 for girls and I failed quite miserably (they’re now at 100 each!).
I just feel like I’ve tried everything and I’m still constantly making additions and never really falling in love with any of them.
[name_f]My[/name_f] question is, how do YOU narrow it down? [name_m]How[/name_m] did you come to love the names you do and not a whole bunch of others as well? [name_m]How[/name_m] do you come to the decision that some names don’t make the cut?
Let me in on your best techniques!
[name_f]My[/name_f] most recent attempt that’s been relatively successful is to try and make combos for the names. I found that some names were surprisingly fun to find middles for (Miro, [name_m]Stellan[/name_m] and [name_m]Arkady[/name_m]) while others were hard and troublesome ([name_m]Clyde[/name_m], [name_m]Imre[/name_m], [name_m]Noam[/name_m] and [name_m]Benno[/name_m]). I’ve eliminated about 15 names so far (dumped to middles only at least) but the whole thing is so time-consuming! ARGH!
It would be awesome with a manageable 20-30 with up to 50 more I would only use in the middle spot.
The short answer: how do I narrow it down? Um… I don’t. Not really. I too have impossibly long lists of names that I like (I have a book of names that has about 50,000 in it, and I have probably noted about one fifth of them…). The names in my signature are just some of my very favourite names- I cannot fit anywhere near enough. The only reason I don’t have more is that it wouldn’t let me type that much more. Sorry that did not really help, but at least you know that you are not alone.
Wow! I can’t imagine having that many names on my list! I used to have probably about 100 at one point, but what helped me knock off quite a few is… would I actually name my child this?
At first, it was hard to convince myself. I mean, OF COURSE I would consider any of these names as my child’s name! But really, if you think seriously about it… you wouldn’t. Some are guilty pleasures. Some are too “out there” to really be used on a real child. Some may be too popular. Sound weird with your last name. Honestly, there’s names that you like and names that you [name_u]LOVE[/name_u] and I think one of my biggest hiccups was that if I “got rid” of some names, I just… couldn’t bring myself to part with any. But then I realized I could still KEEP them on a list, just not on my narrowed, realistic list of ones I truly LOVED and would consider for a real person. It made me feel better. Maybe try that?
It also really helped when I got pregnant. I still had names on my list that I truly thought I loved and would totally picture as a name for one of my children, but they quickly disappeared when I was actually in the real situation. Now that I’ve had a child, it actually makes it really difficult to find enough names that I’d really consider using!
I’m with nooshi, my main list doesn’t get narrowed down, and I rarely take any names off, and only add them. I do have loads of lists, one of which has my favourites and I usually sort out middles for them, and then I eliminate the middles I use so I can’t use them as firsts (make sense?). But I’ve got some rules as to what names make my favourites list. Like for first names, my favourites usually have to have around the same number of letters (6, 7, or 8); I just don’t love names with fewer or less letters, so that gets rid of quite a few as firsts. All the other names are basically reserved for middles.
I love having a really long list and I do get really surprised at other ‘long’ lists of 20 or 30 names altogether. I’ve got around 200 for girls, and 100 for boys (probably more) and I only started making my list in [name_u]January[/name_u]. I’ve got 16 fave names for girls, and 14 for boys, in order of preference of course, and I really want to try and push it up to a nice round number, like 20 for each. I’ve actually been trying to decide whether to have all my favourites, or just some of my favourites with middles, in my signature. Basically my ‘like’ list is really long, whilst my ‘long term love’ list is a lot shorter (but will probably grow). Plus I have other lists floating around with names I haven’t got round to adding to the main one yet.
@nooshi - [name_m]How[/name_m] do you determine which are your very favourite names though? I can’t seem to get that far even! Thinking about it, I really love [name_m]Edmund[/name_m], but as soon as the thought is there, I’m also reminded of names other names I like just as much ([name_m]Samson[/name_m], [name_m]Silas[/name_m], [name_u]Laurence[/name_u], [name_u]Emmett[/name_u]).
It’s actually really helpful to know I’m not alone, it doesn’t always feel that way when I look at people’s signatures…
@sllah - Too Out-There doesn’t seem to exist for me, I adore the unusual, otherworldly and extraordinary! I would happily name a daughter [name_f]Persephone[/name_f], the problem is that I would just as happily name her Everild, [name_f]Behati[/name_f], Annevieve, [name_u]Echo[/name_u], [name_f]Isis[/name_f], [name_f]Helena[/name_f], [name_f]Clemency[/name_f], [name_f]Persis[/name_f] or [name_f]Jane[/name_f] or … I’ll try the ‘sounding weird with last-name’ thing, but with no SO I’m not sure what my last name might potentially be by the time I actually do have children so it’s sort of a wasted effort. I guess when it’s all hypothetical it’s hard to let go of opportunities!
Although I think getting pregnant would be very sobering with regards to this all
@myosotis - I have several lists already, The Collection of over 3000 names for each gender, The Names I Might Consider of about 700 for each gender, Word Names I’m Fascinated By has about 500 names (ungendered to keep an open mind) and my most recent attempt at a “Short List” has 80 definitely/maybe, 20 maybe/maybe and 60 word names for each gender. This final one is also divided into styles which isn’t proving as helpful as I though it would be…
I guess what I’m wondering is how you separate the ‘likes’ from the ‘loves’?
Well, first and foremost, I have to say that my primary name lists are for what I would seriously and truly consider naming a child. If they included just any name I liked, they would be a lot longer. I try to keep my “real” lists at five to eight full names for each gender. I narrow these down based on how each name (including any nickname) would sound spoken aloud with our last name. If it sounds awkward or cumbersome in any way, the name is out. Sometimes it’s difficult, admittedly, because I just [name_u]LOVE[/name_u] some names that don’t quite work. Also, the first five or so names that I can think of off the top of my head are the ones I consider most feasible, because if I can’t manage to remember them, they clearly aren’t that special to me. Probably, more than anything, I narrow my lists down based on how I can honestly imagine my child’s experience with any given name.
I guess I think about what I really want from a name.
Keeping lists of names I find visually attractive or that I like the sound of is quite different from names I can actually see on a real person, and especially on a real person related to me!
I definitely have some “rules” I go by.
Easy to pronounce and spell.
Recognizable and with some history.
I like nicknames but I’m not fond of anything too complex.
And of course, my surname cuts out a lot of options.
I also think about the kind of person my kid would likely be and what names would fit in my family.
[name_m]Even[/name_m] if I think some more out there names are interesting. Having a family full of [name_m]John[/name_m]'s, [name_m]Tim[/name_m]'s, [name_m]Bob[/name_m]'s, [name_m]Jacob[/name_m]'s, etc. with newest addition Marconi! would just be sorta ridiculous.
[name_f]My[/name_f] kid would likely be dorky so no need to emphasize that with a name like [name_m]Gerald[/name_m] or the reverse, something like, [name_m]Draco[/name_m].
So I guess it’s a mixture of a lot of different things.
What I like and what I keep on a usable list are far different.
@addie88 - thank you for your thoughts! I’m sure my proplem is that I can’t narrow down stylistically, and I’m very concerned with sibset matching. This shouldn’t be a problem, but when two of my favourites are [name_f]Helena[/name_f] and [name_f]Lux[/name_f], I have to admit I would never use them for sisters because they’re so different (even though they have some things in common as well). For me, the logical next step isn’t to eliminate one of the names but to find suitable sibling names I love for both of them. Since I don’t have a partner to say “We are not naming our daughter [name_f]Lux[/name_f]!” it’s really hard to eliminate it (since I might end up with a partner who adores [name_f]Lux[/name_f]). I should still be able to narrow it down to about 5 names that go together for each style, but this is the hard part. They keep accumulating!
@kala_way - I might have to take you up on that, making list of visually attractive names I’m not really going to use XD
[name_f]My[/name_f] surname only eliminates [name_m]Alaric[/name_m] so far, and I like complex names and nicknames. If I stuck to names that fit my family, it would be super easy. I’d have [name_f]Liva[/name_f], [name_u]Bo[/name_u], [name_f]Anna[/name_f], [name_m]Iver[/name_m], [name_f]Mari[/name_f] and Amund, and I would still be considered an oddball. While I love those names, it’s no fun to work with. (Strictly adhering to family-type names I would end up with names that don’t work overseas which I would never do having struggled with it myself).
I think the next thing I’m going to do is look up meanings and histories, associations and such for each name. Hopefully that will make me love some names a little bit more than others
Oh dear, what a dilemma! Like others have mentioned, I’m trying to narrow it down by deciding what is actually wearable on a real person, and what would be harder to pull off - I don’t want my child having a name that is too different (in terms of sound or period) from their peers. Something that makes it easier is that I want my child to have a name with connections to mythology or a family name, so that helps to filter names a little. Good luck, please keep us posted on how you go!