Hello all! This is my first post here as I was recommended this site by a friend. I’m facing a rather unfortunate dilemma in that I am 33 weeks pregnant with fraternal twin girls and my fiancé and I cannot agree on any names. We have been back and forth so many times it’s to a point where the very thought of it makes me want to cry. We both have different ideas as I tend to lean more towards modern and a bit unique and he loves the old fashioned not too outside the box names. I dread leaving the hospital with not one, but two nameless babies. We decided to forgo using family names as it’s just not our style and his parents can be a bit intense. I’m just looking for any words of encouragement.
Well I’m not a mother, only a teen, so I may not be qualified to help, but I’ll try.
First of all, don’t stress. You can always keep two options and see which one fits the baby(s) personalities or looks best. Second, try coming up with a middle ground idea that you both love. A name should not be the cause of stress. It’s okay and you go girl, it must be really hard (yet really joyful) carrying two lives inside of you.
If you wanted to, you could start a thread on girl baby names asking for help. The users here always give wonderful advice!
Congrats on your twin girls!
With my first, his name came to us within the first couple of months. That didn’t stop me from “shopping” on Nameberry for the remainder of my pregnancy, but we knew he was always [name_m]Bruce[/name_m] [name_m]Abel[/name_m].
I’m now due in two weeks, and I still feel up in the air with naming #2. [name_m]Just[/name_m] when I tell myself (and my husband, who’s totally over it) that “this one’s perfect,” I go searching for other options.
I definitely recommend trawling the #girl-baby-names forum. [name_m]Plenty[/name_m] of twins threads already, and you’ll be sure to get heaps of ideas when you pose your own topic.
Thank you so much for the advice! I’ll start there and see what people come up with. I’m trying not to stress too much, but the closer we get to meeting them (and the more uncomfortable I become I’m huge right now) the more stressed I become. I’ll be glad when they’re here and I can hold them finally.
That’s where we seem to have trouble as well. We have settled so many times only to come back later and decide we don’t really like what we picked out. It also doesn’t help that people keep asking us about it. M
I know the feeling of getting that constant question! I try my best to be coy when anyone asks about the name. I did that even with the first (which was way easier then, since we were team green). I’ve heard so many stories of new parents having their perfect name picked out, only to change it at the hospital because that name doesn’t suit the new baby at all.
Hopefully you can find a couple “perfect” combinations, and choose the one that suits your beautiful girls the best.
I have a feeling I’m going to be that parent who needs to see them before I can name them. I just always thought growing up, writing the list of names I liked (what girl doesn’t?) that when it came time I’d have it all figured out. Not the case at all
It would also help if you gave a couple of ideas you have come up and like even if you don’t love them enough to use them.
That helps give the rest of us a starting point.
With my first two pregnancies I say God was gracious to us by letting me go over due (both by 8 days) because had they been any earlier my kids would have incomplete names. No twins but we’ve gone team green each time so we’ve always needed to come up with two names.
My advice is always to focus on settling on the less intimidating middle name choice. With this current pregnancy my husband and I both agreed on Mn’s almost instantly- while our first name styles vary we both knew with each gender our ideal mn options. Sounds nuts but they can really help narrow down the first name choices.
My second piece of advice is to maybe be ok not coming up with something right away. Brainstorm. If you have the middle name write each full name possibility out and revisit it every couple days… just having the time to look at the possibilities can make a difference.
And maybe be willing to compromise. With my daughter I settled on her middle name but hubby was settled on her first name. So we put the two together. With how you described your styles I’d suggest browsing the lists of Nameberry s vintage options… those are ones that seem to be making a come back but we’re hits back in the day. Good luck! It’s not easy!!!
I knew my first’s name would be his for years before he was conceived. It just felt so perfect and I loved it so much and still smile when I think about having been able to use it. But we were team green and it took me 8.5 months to figure out our girl option and feel settled with it (I still love that name deeply, too, but we wouldn’t use it now if we had a girl).
For our second we adopted and kept the name his birthmother had chosen for him.
Now I’m not planning on another pregnancy/baby (our final) for about a year/year-and-a-half… but I’m obsessing and so hoping that it won’t take me all that time to just decide on a few options we truly love.
Naming kids is so hard. The one family with twin girls that I know had the hardest time with names. They had a daughter before as well, so had used their absolute top girls’ name for her. Then when they found out the second pregnancy was two girls, mom spent the entire pregnancy (36 weeks) fretting and still wound up having severe name regrets afterward. But in the end after 2 years of still worrying about whether to change them or not she settled into the idea that she had chosen well afterall and those were undeniably her daughters’ names.
I’m betting you’ll be able to figure it out and pick options that sit right. Having a few names on hand when you go to the hospital will likely put your mind at ease.
My oldest we had a boy name and a girl name picked out it seemed as soon as we found out we were expecting. Then when we found out it was going to be a girl we knew what her name was going to be.
My next we had a boy and a girl name picked out and did the same as her older sister eliminating the boy name after finding out the gender, but then we kept slurring her first and middle name together when saying it so we mashed it together for her first and came up with a totally new middle name.
The little man I’m pregnant with now, we worked for most of the first half of the pregnancy to settle on a middle name for a boy name and totally settled on a girl name. After finding out we were expecting a boy we changed what we thought we were going to do. So now what originally was going to be his middle name is going to be his first and we are trying to settle on a middle name now.
My first was named the day we found out I was pregnant. [name_f]My[/name_f] second is a boy and we always struggled with boy names! We went back and forth so many times I thought he would never be named (when referring to him, we called him “he who will never be named”). We “decided” on a name around 37 weeks or something, just so I could relax about it, and it still didn’t sit right. After he was born my husband decided he should be named our second-choice name, and I agreed. There are still days I wonder if we got his name right – he’s 14 months. I would never change it now obviously but ugh it is hard! I have loved names since childhood and never in a million years thought I would be one of those people who named a kid after they were born. It is so stressful – but your twins will be named eventually.
I agree with others, posting in the girls forum is a great idea. You could also write in to the name sage and see if she can recommend something, her blog posts are always great!
I wonder if you and your husband could reach a happy medium by having a more traditional first name for him, but a more fun nickname for you?
That is the other option I presented to him. Perhaps more conventional names with cute nicknames that may appeal to me more. We got a lot of really good names from the girls name forums so I’m hoping we can find a happy medium soon. It’s a good starting point and I appreciate all you ladies help!
Congrats on the twins! With my first son, we didnt know the gender and hadn’t agreed on a name, but had narrowed it down to 3 names for each gender. We waited until my son was born to a.) Find out the gender and b.)meet him and see what kind of name fit him. I will say 2 of the 3 names for boys we had picked definitely did not fit him. When I first met him, i knew right away. Some cultures/religions dont even decide or announce the baby name until days after birth. This makes total sense to me. Meet your baby first and then decide. I think narrowing it down to a small list is a good plan. As far as relatives being picky about names, it is YOUR body and YOUR child. I would just tell them your undecided and they will find out when they meet the baby. Once theres a baby present, with a name I feel it’s harder for people to make negative comments about a name choice. Best of luck and many blessings!
We don’t have any babies yet, but we’ve been discussing name’s since we were dating. Our list has been constantly evolving. I’m intrigued to see how long it takes us to name a child when we have one. Hubby just wants to pick a name and that’s the one they get, where as I’d rather go into it with a list and see what suits them. I guess we’ll see.
We’ve got a boy and girl name provisionally picked out - we have a difficult surname to work with which limits us quite a bit. I’m 10+5, and it’s still a couple of weeks until we find out if it’s a little one or a little two so I’m keeping a few other names firmly on the table until we know for sure - and may still change our minds in the coming months anyway!
We’re outliers in this department, but we actually don’t discuss the name at all until the baby is born!
We always wait to find out the gender at birth, discuss our most top desired names at the time (sometimes connecting with the time of year, significant nearby dates, bible portion of the week etc.) or names we just would really like. Then we discuss pros, cons, and combos.
With our girls we’ve left the hospital with names, and it it was truly G-d sent. We love their names, and they are perfect for them. With the boys- with our first boy we decided in the hospital. With our other boys we were fairly certain in the hospital, and then fully committed within a few days.
Sometimes dwelling on it for too long messes with the mind, and it makes people crazy and stressed. The time-crunch really presses us to come up with our best and what feels right to us. And we don’t ask anyone for their opinions about it either. So far, so good!!
Replying to flamingo…
Love this method! I feel my name choices are very personal and I don’t share them except for on here.
Congratulations on your twins! I’m not a parent and don’t plan to become one for a while so I’m in no way an expert on this but I’ll do my best.
Try not to stress about it. Maybe start a baby name help forum with some names you like and others will be glad to help you find the right names. [name_m]Don[/name_m]’t worry about it, I promise you will find the perfect names for your babies :).