Before I start, I do not have children. This is a question from my daydreams of a family.
Growing up, my daily chores were to keep my room clean, sweep the bathroom daily, get my sibling breakfast, and clean my bedroom and a shared bathroom weekly. I set the table for dinner, and helped dry the dishes. I cooked once a week, and was responsible for helping in the yard as asked. My other chore was to give water to the flowers.
But I don’t really know what a reasonable amount of chores for a child would be. I don’t have any kids, so how many chores is too many? In my opinion, children should help around the house, but they need time to play and do schoolwork. If my child had a big project and did not have time for anything else, I would not have a problem with doing their tasks. Is this reasonable? I’m sorry if this has an obvious answer, but I need help seeing it. Thank you!
It completely depends on a child’s age, maturity, and what the household is like. I think as long as a child is learning responsibility and how to live cooperatively with other family members, it doesn’t matter if that’s done through chores, or other obligations such as school, sports, practices, etc. I do think it’s important to teach kids the basic of running a house, such as cooking and how to clean, but if the child is a straight A student and is extremely dedicated to a sport and practices each day, I don’t think piling on chores is going to help teach them self-discipline, etc.
I’ll likely hold my child responsible for keeping their bedroom neat, helping to clean up after dinner, and as they get old enough, their own laundry and cleaning up after themselves in the bathroom - wiping down the counters, sweeping, removing trash, etc.
I had no chores. Like, zero! I would be made to do yard work with my dad on some occasions or asked to set the table or bugged to clean up my room or toys. No organized chores.
I really wish I had grown up with responsibilities and limits. Looking back, so much of my ‘acting out’ through the years was my desperate attempt to get those boundaries. They never happened. (My parents were kind of hippie/substance abusers)
Having had the childhood that I had I really don’t know the answer to this questions, but I do want to know! I know that I want my daughter’s roles to be clear to her and for them to not be something that changes according to my rules and whims. I think a set chore list is important.
At the same time I haven’t swung too far from my mom’s lax ways. I think that your list of chores was a bit long.
I also want to include chores that teach life-skills. Like prepping for dinner.
I don’t think that merrybells list of chores is too long. Growing up, my siblings and I were each responsible for dinner once a week. This included helping my mom with the grocery list- I needed to tell her what items we needed and my meal needed to be within our budget. Whoever had not made dinner had to clean up after dinner.
I had to feed and walk the dog daily (I chose this over taking over the trash.) We also had to clean our rooms and the bathroom weekly and we all had to clean the house together on [name]Saturday[/name] mornings. We would drag this out the entire day and it was ridiculous. My husband’s parents had all of the kids clean the house together when they got home from school on Fridays, then they would all go out to dinner together. This way, everybody had a deadline to make them work more quickly rather than complaining about it all day.
We also had to fold the laundry, but I always loved that part b.c my folks would let us watch TV while we folded.
My mom paid us to do ironing- I think this was 25 cents per shirt and 50 cents per pair of pants. My dad would pay us to wash the car as well. We had to do whatever yard work came up as needed. We had to help w. whatever big projects my folks were doing, like canning tomatoes or juicing citrus or painting the house.
We complained about chores while growing up, of course. But it was really helpful to me to learn these things as a child. I am really good at cooking, meal planning, and grocery budgeting now, for instance. I had a roommate once who grew up with a maid. There is nothing wrong w. having a maid, but my roommate did not even know how to sweep! I liked her personally, but she made a pretty lousy roommate b.c she lived like someone who was expecting the imaginary maid to take care of things.
My son is one and a half now. Right now his chores are putting his toys away, which he loves doing. There is a lot of clapping involved. He also “helps” me do lots of things, like he will sweep w. his little broom while I sweep w. the big broom. He has a spray bottle of water and a rag and he loves to wipe things while I clean. He likes to mash bananas for me when I am baking banana related things- stuff like that. And he “helps” me feed the dog as well- this will probably be his first real chore, when he is old enough. He really does not know the difference between work and play right now, so these things all just seem like more playtime to him.
My daughter is 4, and she doesn’t really have chores yet, apart from cleaning up after herself. She knows that every night, when its time to get into pyjamas, she has to put her dirty clothes in the laundry basket. If she takes a toy or book out (or multiple toys/books), she has to put it away when she’s done. Dirty crockery/cutlery get put in the sink so mum/dad can put them in the dishwasher and aren’t to be left on the table or counter top. [name]Just[/name] basic stuff like that really, while she’s so young.
She has a goldfish that she’s responsible for feeding and a pot of flowers in the garden that she has to water.
I don’t like to give her a lot to do, to be honest. When she’s older I’ll just expect her to keep her room clean and clean up after herself as she does now. I don’t want her to be laden down with chores when there are other things I’d prefer for her to do.
I’d also like to say…I might give my children a very small allowance, but generally, their chores will be in order to earn privileges (which may include monetary benefits). If they complete their chores, they’ll be earning things such as my paying for lessons/clubs/etc. they want to attend, money to go to movies with a friend or some spending money for the mall or eating out, etc.
Well my parents tried to give us chores but it never worked we just had to clean up after ourselves, put our plates in the dishwasher and do other things when asked.
I have been washing dishes since my mom bought me a stool so I could reach the sink. My mom added chores as it was age appropriate. We have always been responsible for our rooms and making the bed. I have always had the nightly kitchen clean up and when my mom was sure I wouldn’t burn the house down, cooking as well. By age 10ish my brother and I did all the laundry in the house. It was equal opportunity chores. I did just as much yard work and taking out the trash as cooking and dishes and my brother as well. (Well, minus the cooking for the bro- he WOULD burn the house down)
I hated it as a child, but I appreciate it now. My brother and I can keep house. At the end of the day, everyone has to live somewhere so I feel it is very important to give children chores to do.
My kids have " can you do this" (occasional) chores as well as daily chores. We also have “extra” chores. I believe that they can help out around here, however, I also believe that they are kids and their "job’ should be to learn and grow and not be stuck doing too many chores. Its a balance, and will always be a balance that we try to work on. I grew up doing too much (my father was in medical school when I was in high school and my mom worked full time as a nurse so I had to do a lot as the oldest, more than I should have had to do) and my DH grew up doing next to nothing, so we have had to figure out what to do as we both had different ideas and upbringings on chores, cleaning and what not.
We are in between house cleaners right now (before, she came every week and mopped the floors, and did “deep cleaning” type of stuff…we live in a 4,000 square foot house with hardwood floors, lots of floors!) so there are a lot more “extra” chores until we hire a new one, lol. My kids also get paid accordingly, and know there are no screens (computer, DS, tv etc) until they do whatever it is that I asked them to do. Vio’s daily chore is picking up all the shoes around the house and putting them in the shoe holder by the front door. [name]Seb[/name]'s is taking out all the trash and recycling and putting new bags where they need to be. So as you can see, age appropriate. I think kids need to learn how a house runs and feel the satisfaction in knowing they help it to run. But, its a fine line of not having them do everything or even too much, that is my job, DH’s job and our housecleaners job.
I’ll agree with what some of the others have said, that it depends on the age of the child. [name]Leo[/name] is not quite two, and quite likes to “help”, which we encourage. Eg, after dinner he likes to carry the dirty dishes to Daddy to be put into the dishwasher. I get him to help me put his toys away, and put his dirty clothes in his laundry basket. The other day I was folding washing and he thought it would be fun to dismantle the neat stacks i’d made, so I showed him which drawer his clean socks went in and he spent a good while putting his socks away one pair at a time. Until he got bored and went off to play with his toys instead!
As for chores = pocket money…its not something I’ve thought about much at this stage. We were never given pocket money as kids in exchange for household chores. [name]General[/name] household help with chores is more of an expectation, I want my kids to learn to contribute by doing basic things like, picking toys, light cleaning etc, and to not expect to be paid.
It depends on age. When I was four all I was really expected to do was keep my room clean- but my parents were pretty harsh. When I was four or five, my sister and I were given a deadline to clean the floor of our room, or else everything on the floor would be given away. [name]Long[/name] story short, I was missing some toys at the end of the day. And there have been more chores as we’ve gotten older- some days there isn’t much to be done, others we each have a few things to do. There are no “set” chores. I think too many chores are when they are too busy to do other things (like relax a little and do homework.)
Also, growing up we weren’t given money for the chores we’ve done, but we did get a monthly allowance. My sisters allowance reached its peak when she was sixteen and got $20 a month. I reached about $15 a month when I was thirteen, but I stopped getting one after I got a cell phone. I’m not entirely sure why, but around that time my brother stopped getting one as well. There was one exception- I wanted to buy something that was forty dollars. If I raked up the backyard, I would earn $20, and my parents would pay the other $20.
Chores are important, but I’d like to issue a bit of advice: always voice your expectations! This is probably one of the biggest mistakes my parents made (and still make.) They’d expect us to do something- like fold laundry or do the dishes- but wouldn’t say anything. And when it failed to be done, they’d get mad and yell at us. Sometimes it was justifiable, but most of the time it wasn’t. They’d say “You shouldn’t have to be told,” but that isn’t really fair. [name]How[/name] can you expect to get something you want done when you don’t express that you want it done?
Anyway, I’ve rambled on enough! [name]Hope[/name] that helps!
When I have children, I am definitely going to give them chores and specific responsibilities. When I was a child, I had no chores. I mean, I was expected to keep my room clean and clear the dinner table sometimes, but that’s about all. As a child, I was very spoiled and entitled. I felt that all the household chores were my mother’s responsibility because she was a stay-at-home mum. Now, I can fully admit I had a very bad attitude as a child! But, when a child isn’t given any responsibilities, you can’t expect them to just pick up a tea towel one day and start doing the dishes, which is, I think, what my parents expected! So that’s why I’ll be making sure my children contribute to the household as soon as they’re old enough!
Regarding money-handling- when my siblings and I each hit age seventeen, my parents opened each of us a checking account. They would deposit the amount of money that they claimed that they spent on each of us per month- I think this was $50? We were then responsible for paying for all of our school clothes, books, school fees, and school lunches. Anything left over we were allowed to keep. I feel like this was really helpful for teaching us to be financially responsible.
[name]Prior[/name] to seventeen, we did not really have set allowances. Instead we were able to do specific extra chores to earn money (mostly ironing and washing the car.)
I too grew up without particularly organized chores except setting and clearing the table and keeping my room “neat”. My allowance was not tied to chores, just a small set amount. Once we hit high school, we had to pay for our own clothes, shoes, and gasoline in the car, which seemed so unfair at the time, ha! It pushed us to develop entrepreneurial schemes each summer, though. I intend my future kiddos to contribute to laundry, dish-washing, dog-walking, etc. much more regularly than I did (sorry, Mom!).
