I have nine children, two of which live at my house primarily and go to their fathers every [name_f]Wednesday[/name_f] to Thursday and every other weekend. We have two sets of twins, 4 years old and newborn, and there is a high chance that our next pregnancy will also be twins again. Our newborn twins were born yesterday so we obviously wouldn’t try for another 6-12 months, but we would probably try to have at least one more baby. Me and my husband are both from big families - my husband having seven siblings and I have 9 so I guess we just wanted to carry on the ‘tradition’. I have friends who think we are crazy for having more than three children but other friends who praise us for it.
I just wanted to ask - does it look too ‘comical’ or ‘silly’ to have 10+ children? Is it time for us to stop?
Thanks in advance.
As long as you can afford it and not rely on assistance, then I don’t have a problem. I have more issues with parents who have 2 kids on welfare than I would with a parent of 9 kids with a steady income, That being saidm, for me personally, any more than 1 is too many!
As long as you can afford it and can give them all enough attention, spend time with them, etc, I think it’s no problem. I am not a mom yet, and when my time comes I hope to have 2-4 kids. My parents, however, both come from very large families. They have each 9 and 7 siblings. They grew up fine, I guess, but my dad did once complain he felt like he didn’t receive enough attention and support from his parents. Of course, every family has different story. So if you think you can handle it, I guess it’s fine adding.
I have four (soon to be 5) and I am 1/8 and my husband is 1/10. No one can answer this question for you, it is all a matter of how well your home and family are being run. If you feel happy and healthy AND your children do too, then that’s all that matters. Being from a large family and now having a large family I know how it can be physically and emotionally exhausting sometimes as well as financially stressful - so if you can handle those things then keep on keeping on.
I agree with what others have said wholeheartedly. S/O and I don’t have any children as of yet, but ideally we’d like to have four. He’s one of 6 and I’m one of 2, I always wanted more siblings (my parents wanted 8 kids total but Mother Nature had different plans in mind), while he enjoyed being one of 4 (2 siblings didn’t live with them). We have said though that if we can afford to do so financially, physically and mentally, we’d have more like 6 though.
It’s all down to personal preferences and comfort really.
I think you have the amount that works for your family. As others have said it depends on what you and your spouse can handle financially and mentally. I see nothing wrong with having 10+ kids, I personally couldn’t handle it mentally, but that’s me.
Your children have lovely names by the way.
I wouldn’t worry about how it appears, it being ‘comical’ or ‘silly’. That’s not an issue. The main issue is the wellbeing of your existing children.
I think at some point it would start negatively affecting the children. Where that point is would be a matter for an individual family to decide, but I think the parents should have enough to time and energy to have a strong and personal relationship with each individual child rather than parenting them just as a pack. It is an unavoidable fact that while a person may have infinite stores of love to give, nobody has an infinite supply of time and attention. The more kids you have, the less time and attention each kid gets. There is no getting around this.
I also think it’s deeply unfair to expect elder siblings to play a significant role in caring for younger siblings in whose birth they had no say. An occasional night of baby-sitting or asking them to take their little brother/sister to the park for an hour every so often is great, teaches them responsibility and encourages sibling bonding. But I know that in some big families the big kids (especially the older daughters, sadly) end up having to grow up too fast with too much day-to-day responsibility for their little brothers and sisters, because the parents just can’t handle it all and are only focused on the littlest kids. As long as you feel able to raise them all primarily yourselves, giving them all the individual attention they need without using your older children as regular free childcare (or paid, actually, the point is that children shouldn’t have to act as parents) and as long as you have the money and space to provide a reasonable quality of life, then you’re good to go I’d say.
For myself, I don’t think I’d be able to be the mother I want to be to more than three children, and I strongly prefer to stick at two, but we all have different levels of patience and organisation. I’m not super organised and I’m an introvert so I ‘burn out’ fairly easily.
Thank you everyone for your advice - I do not work although my partner works full time, therefore I spend everyday with my children and also have a nanny who is essentially another sister to my children. We are well-off (to put it in the most not-up-my-own-ass way) and have the space to accommodate everyone, as well as the nanny; only the twins share rooms which is totally their choice, if they didn’t want to share there is a spare room for them to move into immediately. Everyone adores the new additions to our family and have done since their first new sibling therefore they are all over the moon about having a new baby arrive in our household everytime. I do think that we’ll probably try for one more pregnancy as I guess we are baby-obsessed. I appreciate everyones advice/opinions - thank you 
@jtucker - Thank you! I adore the name [name_f]Isla[/name_f]! It was either [name_u]Harper[/name_u] or [name_f]Isla[/name_f] for one of my older twins although my best friend named her baby girl [name_f]Isla[/name_f] about 4 months before my twins were born, which settled the debate!
If you are wealthy, don’t work, have a nanny, and a 10+ bedroom house I am not sure why even ask the question LOL
Good luck!
As long as they are happy and healthy, and you have the resources, AND your sanity is intact, I don’t think there’s any reason to set a limit on how big your family is.
The notion of being “comical” is awful. [name_m]How[/name_m] your family operates isn’t to be judged by others. And you certainly should plan your family based on fear of judgement.
I think big families are awesome! (my hubby is one of 9) You go for it, honey!
I come from a family of 7 and grew up with knowing a number of families with “lots” of children, but most of my close friends came from families of 2 or 3 kids. All of that said, the big "WOW number for me is probably anything past 12. I personally don’t think there is a specific number you can reach where you have too many kids. If you are able to handle the amount you have and think you can handle another, then why not?
Thank you for your advice. We will probably try for another pregnancy. Thanks again