How many kids do you want?

I myself have always imagined having 4 or 5 children in total but the other day my daughter met a new friend and I got to talking with her mom! When I told her I was 4 weeks with my third she gasped and asked if it was planned! I was honestly so shocked she asked that. She later than said, “you already have a boy and a girl why would you want more”? This got me thinking how many children do you plan on having or have imagined having?

I would like 2 boys and 2 girls personally but thats just me, one of each gender to join [name_f]Jayda[/name_f] and [name_m]Elijah[/name_m] but thats just me! What about you?

  • [name_u]Mackenzie[/name_u]
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I have a son already. Ideally I would have 1 more child, a daughter. If baby #2 is a boy, we might try for a girl one more time, but definitely no more than three for me.

I think there was another thread like this already, something along the lines of “max amount of kids” so similar topics.

But we would like one little girl. That would be the ideal. If we have a boy, then we would adopt a girl later on or maybe get used to the idea of only having a boy and decide not to add a 2nd kid. So our ideal would be 1, but our max would be 2.

I personally find it so offensive when people say things like “you already have a boy and a girl why would you want more”? I came from a large family and we would constantly get people rolling their eyes and making inappropriate comments. Why must a 3rd child always be an “accident”? Having a large family can be a beautiful thing! I understand that it is not for everyone, but if having more children then the norm is what someone chooses they shouldn’t be shamed for it. I wouldn’t trade being a part of a large family for anything. I loved growing up with all my siblings. People have gotten it into their heads that two children, a boy and a girl, or sometimes 3 if the first two are the same gender, is the “perfect family”, but that’s not true for everyone.
Personally, I’m not planning on setting minimum or maximum number on how many children we have and we’ll just sort of play it by ear and go with whatever feels right at the time, but I picture my husband and I with somewhere between 6 and 8 children.

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I keep saying that I want four, but since we are still TTC #1 that may very well change. I do however want at least two because I loved having my brothers to play with, grow with, and go through lifes ups and downs with. Really it’s all up in the air especially since we’ve been trying for so long.

On one hand, I always hear that 3 is the hardest, and parental happiness improves with 4, but on the other hand, I want to say “of course 4 is harder!”

On one hand, 4 kids means cooking for 4. Paying for 4 kids extra curricular activities. Paying for suitable housing for 4. Cleaning said housing. 4 little people making messes instead of 3.

On the other hand, you don’t have one kid being the odd one out. No middle child, at amusement parks no one has to sit by them self on a ride (or an airplane), etc.

Honestly I think it depends on the family, the older children’s ages, if you have extended family around, job flexibility, etc.

I only have two children, and we go back and forth between having 3 and 4. For us it will come down to my health, and whether or not I’d be able to stay home or work from home.

I come from a sibset of 3 girls, and although the number is perfect itself, 1 of us was always left out as a child… So, because of this, I’d love either 2 or 4. I have no interest in just the 1 child and think I’d go crazy with more than 4, lol! Gender doesn’t bother me to an extent, this meaning I’d love at least one of each but if that doesn’t happen then so be it.

I think that I keep switching. One day I want 2, another 4, another 6. But I think I really want three, since I feel like it’s the perfect number

Pretty much the same as @eoxima. But I’m an only child, and I’d rather not have my children not have siblings either, so that’s why I want two at least. Plus it would be nice to maybe have one of each gender, or two of each gender with four. But I haven’t a clue how it’ll actually pan out, except I definitely want children.

At the pumpkin patch last weekend my mom said she overheard a conversation between a family with three girls and a family with three girls and a boy. The family with four kids was urging the fam with three to “try one more time”. My mom has three girls and no boys and neither she nor my dad ever think about “trying one more time” as if having at least one of each gender is a requirement. I’m only a high schooler but those people who think that way already annoy me. I know several families with only boys who don’t think at all about “trying for a girl” and vice versa for families with only girls.

Sorry for the rant, onto the question. Right now I would love to have six kids when I’m older but realistically I want four. Preferably at least one of each. If I only have four then I may adopt to get to six but that would require the proper conditions (financial, psychological, etc.)

My max about of children will be largely determined on our financial situation. I am notorious for over planning, but I would much rather be prepared. If (heaven forbid) something happens to my husband or my marriage, I do not want to be in a situation with my children than I can provide for financially and emotionally. That aside, in a perfect world I would want four children. In this world, I most likely will end up with two.

I agree with the previous poster

My fiancee and I have discussed this quite frequently. He is 1 of 3 and I have six siblings. I have to keep in mind my mother only had four and my dad four, two with another woman. So I come from a large family. I want at least three children, ideally four. He wants two max. So we are still figuring out the right number for us. Having multiple siblings, mostly boys, I know I at least want one of each.

When I first started TTC, I wanted three. Four years and two miscarriages later, I’d count my blessings to have just one.

As a child I liked the idea of three, but as an adult two seemed just right. Unfortunately due to a sudden and serious health issue I’ve suddenly gone from thinking it would be very possible to have two or three kids to realising it would be a miracle just to have one. I’d prefer to not have an only child as the bond and support I have with my brother is so special. But honestly, it’s all up to a higher power than me and I have had to adjust to the idea that it may not happen for me - definitely not something I can plan or feel I have any control over. I still like to imagine sometimes though, and it’s usually two, sisters or a pigeon pair. :slight_smile:

In a perfect world, I would have 2-3 children, but spaced so they get a significant amount of time as only children (like one 10 years older than the other). The more of an age gap the better, but now that I’ll be a couple of years from thirty soon that’s basically impossible. Basically, I want multiple kids so that they wouldn’t have to feel so alone when family dies, helping each other with elderly family, and just because I’m selfish and want more than one.

I hear you. When we got married, I wanted three or four children. It’s been 28 months of TTC with no success, so I’ve had to readjust all expectations. I’d consider it a miracle to get pregnant more than once.

I’m the same as you, I would love to have four but possibly even more. I grew up with two sisters so would really like my children to have both brothers and sisters.

Before I had my son, I wanted 3 kids. Now, I’m really hoping for a grand total of 2 kids. I’d love to have a daughter, but I would be just as happy with 2 sons. [name_m]Long[/name_m] term sleep deprivation totally changed my mind about what I can handle. I am finally feeling human again and dreading jumping back into zombieland for number 2. I’ve also thought quite a bit about the impact on the world by having more children (one of the reasons I originally only wanted 3 kids as opposed to the 4 or 5 I imagined I would have when I was still a kid myself).

I come from a sibset of just 2 (my oldest brother and I). I loved my having my brother and although we did play together when we were kids I always wished for a sister. So I would [name_u]LOVE[/name_u] at least 4 (2 of each). I also look at finances as I would love my children to have what I had and maybe if possible more. So looking at things financially If I could afford to look after myself, Husband and 6 children I would love 6 but on our budget right now 4 is optimal for us. That all being said at the moment I would be happy with one due to TTC and other issues.