Hey berries!
We found out yesterday that #3 is on the way. We already have one of each gender so I would so love to have that surprise of not finding out what this baby is. BUT I’m notorious for being terrible at secrets and surprises so I don’t know if I’ll have enough will power to not find out.
Then, I started thinking about what a hard time we have picking out names and I am worrying that if we don’t know the gender we will spend an entire 9 months waffling over names, then the baby will be born and we’ll be like…crap…ok…[name_m]Wesley[/name_m] [name_u]Emmett[/name_u]? Hmm what about [name_u]Emmett[/name_u] [name_m]Brian[/name_m]? Or should it be [name_m]Calvin[/name_m]??? Knowing the gender makes that part more real and you can picture the child and get used to the name. Not knowing makes everything feel much more hypothetical. So anyway…looking to hear from other tam green-ers about how they got comfortable with names.
Hahaha I think being pregnant is surprise enough!! I’ll want to know what gender my future babies are as soon as possible, so I can plan and prepare accordingly.
I won’t be having kids for a good few years yet, but when I do, I definitely don’t want to find out the gender (which I’m guessing is what ‘team green’ means).
I don’t really get why I would need to. What difference does it make? Planning- for what? It’s a baby. Plan for a baby. Gender doesn’t matter (I’m against the whole “it’s a girl, so everything I buy must be pink and girly!” thing). I frequently see the argument that it means ‘you can bond with/picture your baby’. What, so every parent who’s never found out the gender has been unable to bond with their child? And what if you bond with or have a mental picture of a baby who turnes out to be the ‘wrong’ gender? I certainly won’t need to know whether it’s a boy or girl to be able to connect with a baby.
As for names- it’s either a boy or girl. Is it really so hard to come up with a few combos for each gender in the many months before the birth? It’s fun to keep guessing!
The only reason I can see is impatience. Fair enough Personally, I’d want everything to be as natural as possible and I’m willing to wait for the surprise
Team [name_u]Green[/name_u] all the way! No matter what. I look forward to the doctor saying It’s a Girl or It’s a Boy! Nobody has any patience these days. [name_m]Just[/name_m] cuz you can find out, doesn’t mean you should. Personally, I think it should only be an option for baby #2, #3, etc. not the first.
I’m not pregnant yet but hopefully soon! We want to find out as soon as possible. I don’t know, it’s our first and I think we need that and to be prepared for our daughter or our son. I think it’ll make the process and all the newness much easier. I heard a story of a women who was Team [name_u]Green[/name_u]. She had one of each and was expecting her third and wanted the gender to be a surprise after finding out for her first two. After her newest child, a boy, was born, she felt sad. [name_m]Even[/name_m] though she didn’t care either way, she just wanted a healthy baby, she felt like someone took her new daughter away from her. Like she’ll never have her. She felt she would’ve felt the same way about a boy if she had had a girl. Does this make sense? [name_m]Just[/name_m] something to think about…
I’m not finding out!! (or, as I like to joke, we’ll find out EVENTUALLY, but not before the birth). It’s our first baby. Yeah, I know what you mean about it feeling slightly hypothetical. When we were discussing finding out or not, I kind of wanted to and my husband kind of didn’t…then by the night before the ultrasound we had sort of switched positions, and somehow we ended up with NOT finding out. I’m glad we did! But I wonder if my husband especially–who isn’t feeling every little kick and flutter–has a harder time connecting with this unknown human being that we still refer to as “it”.
As for names, I think it just requires the same discipline that naming a baby whose sex is known requires. If it’s super important to you to have a name that flows well, or is unique, or has meaning, or whatever, yeah you’ll have to put the work in, just like people who do know the sex. And you’ll have to put in twice the amount of work, because you’ll need one for each. But I know plenty of people who are just like “Oh, I like this name, you too? Ok cool that’s what we’ll go with” and that works just fine too. We are planning to narrow our list down to about 3 boy names and 3 girl names, and see what fits best when we finally get to meet our baby! Personally, I have a list about 70 strong for each, but when I bring names up to my husband, he usually says, “eh, they’re OK.” This is a problem that couples have whether they know the sex or not!
So congrats to you for doing it the “hard way,” and from what I’ve heard, you and I won’t regret it =) I work with a lot of grandparent-aged adults, and so many of them are absolutely delighted when I tell them we’re not finding out beforehand (other than the sweet old grandmas who want to make me baby blankets!). And for the adults I work with who are my own generation, the ones who have waited also tell me “oh, it’s the best, I wouldn’t have done it any other way!!” The kids I work with have a field day with guessing. It’s fun for everyone!
I don’t know what I would choose if/when I am pregnant. I think it would be cool to be surprised, but at the same time, I’m quite an impatient person, so I think I’d wanna know. As for worrying about not connecting with the baby if you do not know the gender - personally, I don’t think it affects how you bond with the baby, but if you don’t like calling the baby “it”, you could come up with a gender-neutral cutesy moniker like Munchkin, Peanut, [name_m]Bubba[/name_m] etc… and you never know, it might stick after birth too!
My first pregnancy and there was never any doubt that my husband and I wanted to know. [name_m]Prior[/name_m] to finding out, we were arguing over names and my husband said we can talk about it after we find out so at least we only have to discuss one lot of names! Especially since his view of picking names is having me read out a long list and just saying yes, no or maybe. Of course we’ve now ended up having a name of each sex just in case the 3 ultrasounds are wrong but it seemed to help us concentrate on finding a girl’s name and we were much more relaxed when looking at boys’ names since it was highly unlikely. In fact we had a boy’s name picked out before we finalised our girl’s name.
It’s been nice to talk to the baby and refer to her as ‘her’. We did have a nickname for the baby prior to finding out ([name_f]Stormy[/name_f] short for Stormageddon Dark [name_m]Lord[/name_m] of All and a [name_m]Doctor[/name_m] Who reference). Since we’ve only settled on a name in the last week, we’ve been trying to practise it although we keep slipping!
Next baby, I’m definitely finding out the sex again!
I’d want to know because I hate surprises, when someone I know was/is pregnant I can’t wait to find out the gender. I do think it would be cool to wait til I give birth…but the first one I know for sure I have to know. I’m still sure I would want to know every time I have one… It’s so funny because me and my friend was talking and she doesn’t want to know. Everything will be yellow and green. I was like what about if you forget the name you settled on. My baby brother was named [name_u]Dylan[/name_u] once we saw him…plus we forgot about all the other options.
I won’t be having kids for a while, but, I definitely doubt I’d be able to wait to find out. I’m the world’s most impatient person [name_u]EVER[/name_u] and it would literally drive me insane waiting (I go crazy waiting to find out what we’re having for dinner each night…I’m a planner). Maybe after a baby or two I’d be able to do it, I’m patient with children, but when it’s waiting to find something out, I’m terrible. The kindergarteners I work with might actually be more patient about surprises than I am…
I’m glad we found out the gender as early as possible with both our pregnancies. For the first one, I wanted to have EVERYTHING prepared. It helped that we could focus on one gender of names & refer to the baby in utero by her name. I think it helped my husband to “bond with the bump” as well. With this pregnancy, we were both really hoping for a boy. I grew up with only brothers & don’t typically get along with girls as well as with guy I’m glad we found out at the ultrasound that we are expecting a girl… I WAS disappointed, and I can’t imagine feeling that disappointment at hormonal peak of childbirth - and then deciding on a name, dealing with the guilt of feeling disappointed with your new baby… possible PPD… If I could honestly say I didn’t have a preference one way or another what the baby’s gender would be, I think I could wait to find out. As it is, I’m glad I’ve had time to come to terms with having another little lady & mentally prepare myself.
Stay team green! There are so few surprises in life nowadays and I think it’s really special to wait. And there’s always a little doubt about the name you’ve picked out, even if you’ve known the gender all along. I know a mom who didn’t find out the gender of her first a baby (a boy), and was really happy with that decision. When she was pregnant with #2, they found out there were serious complications with the baby and that it only had a 5% chance of survival. Originally, they had decided to wait, but she felt like she needed to push for that baby, and that required a name. The baby, a girl named [name_u]Harlie[/name_u], did survive and is truly a miracle and a fighter!
We were Team [name_u]Green[/name_u] with our first child, even though it drove my poor mother crazy that we wouldn’t find out. For me, part of the fun was coming up with names for both genders. Since we’ve already picked out a new name for another son and plan to use our original girls’ choice for a daughter, we’ll probably find out next time, but I definitely don’t regret waiting the first time.
In the medium-distance future when I start having kids, my ideal would be remaining on team green and then not announcing anything to anyone until a sip and see post-birth (excepting our parents, of course, who would be under strict orders to not blab). Babies and baby naming are one of the only things that I really detest social media with because I think it takes some of the intimacy away and people put pressure on you to share absolutely everything. I also plan on not putting up pictures of my engagement ring for the same reason. I just don’t think it’s anybody’s business and if they’re really my friend, they will make a coffee date with me or something to hear about my life rather than going on facebook for the info.
I’ve been team green for all 3 of my pregnancies and I wouldn’t have it any other way. It’s a remarkable experience, and so gratifying to meet the new baby after so much work of labour and pushing. I feel that people to find out on ultrasound lose a big part of that experience, but I’m biased of course. For all 3 pregnancies, we took 2 or 3 names that we really liked for each gender, then decided once the little one was born. It was so easy to pick once we met him or her, and although their names were apparent once they were born, it wasn’t necessarily my “favourite” one from the list, if that makes sense.
I am TTC #1 right now and we plan to stay team green. A baby is a baby, and we will be excited and happy no matter what gender. We don’t believe in the pink and blue thing, so I don’t want to say girl and everyone buys her princess and pink things. Yuck in my book. We believe in gender neutrality, and being surprised on the gender just seems so amazing that I can’t see myself finding out when it finally happens.
Personally, I’d want everything to be as natural as possible and I’m willing to wait for the surprise 
