How much does sib set match and origin of name matter? (sorry, long!)

Girl Names
1

Well… I’ve been complaining about my dearest partner for years now. He’s so picky!! During 2 pregnancies we have NEVER agreed on a girl name, not [name]EVER[/name], and only [name]JUST[/name] agreed on the names of our boys (some compromising was involved)! Now that we are thinking about a third I’ve begun seriously thinking about names again as before I was just… well doing it for fun as I love name hunting (partner makes it a bit of a sour chore due to his pickiness, its much more fun when you can let your imagination roam free!)

My top name is [name]Rosalie[/name] - but we can’t agree on a middle name and I don’t want [name]Rosie[/name] as a nn which it would undoubtedly be.

My second is [name]Miriam[/name] [name]Beatrix[/name] - but partner detests it, so no chance there.

My third would be [name]Clara[/name] - but unfortunately [name]Clara[/name] is the name of a strip teasing NPC in a game my partner once played (OMG!!!) …

My fourth - [name]Alice[/name], well my partner does actually like this, but it caused major drama in my family when I mentioned it (I’ve only got two half sisters left and their grandmother is [name]Alice[/name]. My younger one wishes to use this if she has a daughter and I didn’t know that, so I mentioned it and it turned a bit sour… I don’t want to loose the last bit of family I have left over a name so I vetoed it in the end…)

Then I despaired and had a major rant (as you do) and told him to come up with a name, just [name]ONE[/name] name, he would use - and he did! And I’ll admit, I absolutely love it (which surprised me), but my concern is - it’s NOT English, it’s Japanese (he tends to favour Japanese names) and it doesn’t match our boys names.

It’s Sayuri and means [name]Little[/name] [name]Lily[/name].

But, how much should I let my concerns rule me? She’d get an English middle name, English surname … Should it matter that it’s not English/commonly used in English speaking countries?

I’ve already covered the “It will offend Japanese people” and have been told it won’t be an issue. In fact I found a little African-American girl living in [name]Osaka[/name] named [name]Sakura[/name] and her parents said it had never been an issue. So that isn’t my concern at all.

Also, Is it important that sibling names fit together!?

[name]Tristan[/name], [name]Noah[/name] & Sayuri - too strange?

We’ve not agreed on a single other and our name list… Well… I list every name we talk about … mostly to proof a point of how picky he is because he says he isn’t picky - at the moment the list contains 345 names he has turned down! I’ve run out of names I like and would seriously consider using, so Sayuri feels like the last name left… =/

2

That’s quite a situation! Have you gone back over some of those 345 names recently? Is it possible that he’s forgotten which he liked and which he didn’t? Sayuri is pretty, but it sounds like you’re completely settling on it just because he’s being difficult. If you actually like it, I don’t see why you couldn’t use it. It is a different origin, but it doesn’t sound strange to me.

I’d keep trying to break him down on a few that you like more than Sayuri before you completely give in and go for it. Let him know that his pickiness is very hard on you and that you’re trying to compromise with him but he can’t possibly HATE 345 names. Maybe you can come to an agreement, like Rosalie Sayuri or something. Stay strong, mama!

3

I had him read the entire list yesterday and the only name he picked out was Sayuri. Well he does like [name]Amelia[/name] and [name]Ava[/name] too, and although they are pretty, they are much too popular for me!

I do really love Sayuri! I suppose I’m more worried about whether it will be too strange when our boys have pretty common/wellknown names! Maybe I’m overthinking?

I did suggest [name]Rosalie[/name] Sayuri, but he doesn’t really like that either!

4

There aren’t any “naming rules” that say siblings have to have “matching” or “compatible” names. It’s all opinion anyway. I knew a brother and his adopted sister who were both African American named Mikado and Keko (Japanese) and nobody ever questioned it. They’re both grown adults now and I couldn’t imagine different names for them.

I guess what I’m trying to say is that names don’t necessarily have to “go.” They’re siblings, yes, but they won’t always be associated together when they’re grown. I live in a different state than my brothers and nobody asks my name and then asks what my siblings names are. So while some people prefer names to match, I don’t think it’s necessary.

If you really both love Sayuri, go for it. For some reason, it didn’t really strike me as Japanese when I first read it. It just sounds pretty and unique. Sayuri [name]Rose[/name] would be lovely! I don’t think it’s all that strange with [name]Tristan[/name] and [name]Noah[/name] either, (especially since she’s a girl. It works to have a different style than her brothers).

Alternatively, what do you guys think of something like Avaline, Avabelle, Avalie, or [name]Amelie[/name]? A bit less popular than [name]Ava[/name] and [name]Amelia[/name], but more common than Sayuri. (Sayuri also made me think of [name]Suri[/name] initially.)

5

Sayuri [name]Rose[/name] is my partners suggestion as well and it is very pretty too =) Thank you for your post, it’s made me feel a lot better!!!

6

You’re welcome! [name]Glad[/name] to help! I hope it all works out for ya!

7

I love Sayuri [name]Rose[/name]. It’s beautiful and while I don’t think that sibling names have to match at all, [name]Tristan[/name], [name]Noah[/name], and Sayuri go together well. After all, it’s not like [name]Tristan[/name] and [name]Noah[/name] have the same origin. [name]Tristan[/name] is Welsh and [name]Noah[/name] is Hebrew. So you’re kind of spanning the globe with your kids’ names. I also agree that Sayuri doesn’t sound super Japanese. It’s not like Junko or something that most people would instantly recognize as Japanese.

I absolutely believe that your partner could hate all 345 of the names you picked out. I am sure that my husband has hated at least that many names over the years. Though he does infuriatingly bring up names he nixed months later saying, “Hey, what about this one?”

8

I think it just matters how YOU feel about the name and how it sounds with her brothers! Sayuri [name]Rose[/name] is very pretty and if you both love it i think you should use it!! I agree I think the fact that she’s a girl means that it won’t make people scratch their heads to hear the three sib names… People often have different naming styles for boys and girls! Im not sure if you are planning to have more but if you had another girl then i would definately name her something equally exotic and unusual to compliment sayuri! From the rest of you list I really like [name]Rosalie[/name] Sayuri or [name]Rosalie[/name] [name]Alice[/name] (surely you could use [name]Alice[/name] in the middle!) or from your signiture [name]Rosalie[/name] [name]Pearl[/name] or [name]Rosalie[/name] [name]Isabelle[/name]…what about [name]Rose[/name] as a nn instead of [name]Rosie[/name]? Another idea is [name]Rosalind[/name] and you could use nn [name]Indi[/name] which is adorable! [name]Rosalind[/name] Sayuri or [name]Rosalind[/name] [name]Lily[/name] would be cute!

9

Finding a name that both you and your husband like trumps any other “rules” about naming. I actually quite like [name]Tristan[/name], [name]Noah[/name], and Sayuri together anyways. It’s exactly not conventional, but let’s face it, conventional gets pretty boring fast. Seems to me that you both agree on liking Sayuri, [name]Amelia[/name], and [name]Ava[/name]. The popularity of the 2 later names bothers you more than the origin of the first. I like Sayuri, stamp of approval here.

10

Sayuri is an actual name used by Japanese people - I don’t find that offensive at all. What I find offensive is when people take words, concepts, religious symbolism, ect…from other cultures and use them as they wish with no concern for other people. An actual NAME is not offensive at all, [name]IMO[/name].

I have a situation where my fiance has two daughters who have very matchy musical names and I REALLY do not want to continue that trend with a child that we ever have together, it’s just not my taste or style and I refuse to have another child whose name I don’t love. My son’s name doesn’t really “fit” with his children’s names and I’m sure what we [name]DO[/name] choose won’t truly “fit”, either - that’s just how it will be with our family and I’ve discovered that it just doesn’t matter! They are individuals who have and deserve their own identities, they are not a matching set. It took me a while to realize this, but it’s really true.

Sayuri is beautiful! It’s one of my personal favorite Japanese names and it’s [name]WAY[/name] more important to have a name you both love than to have them all “match”.

11

I’ve been studying Japanese for months, and fallen in love with their names (especially girls’ ones). Make sure you [name]DO[/name] pronounce it right- it would be suh-you-ree, not suh-YER-ee or sigh-yoo-ree. It is also an actual name.
I’d personally love to meet a little girl named Sayuri who was of Western descent.

12

I’ve tried [name]Rosalind[/name], and that he doesn’t like either … He liked [name]Pearl[/name] until I explained the meaning behind it (as to honour our grandmothers) and then he thought it overcomplciated and stupid (oh well! I thought it was a sweet idea!!). I’d use [name]Rose[/name] as a nn, but every one else (like partners family) would automatically say [name]Rosie[/name]… everything always gets and “ee” on the end in their family!

I like [name]Rosalie[/name] [name]Isabelle[/name] too - but he doesn’t like the “lie ee” sounds. And no [name]Alice[/name] is even ruled out as a mn - my sisters would never use a name I’d used, even as a mn!

We defo got the pronounciation right - Japanese pronounciation is quite close to that of my native tongue, so it feels very natural for me to say.

Thank you all for your posts!! I feel quite confident about moving Sayuri to our number one spot and if he’s got “his” name as first name, I’m sure he will let me pick the mn without all this “I don’t like that” in my ear constantly :wink: