I, for some reason, feel a larger pressure/stress when I’m searching through names, and mainly with my girl names!
We have our boy name pretty much set, but with the girl name, I keep thinking “Ok, this is the name!”, until I find another one, and I’m at the point where we’re near the due date, but have at least 20 names in consideration! Now, whenever I read to my daughters, I always examine the names , wondering whether I could use them!
Did any of you experience such a stress when deciding on names? I didn’t feel this much when naming my other 2, maybe because their names suit them so well, and they came to me so quickly!
I wasn’t stressed out about our first son’s name ([name_m]Levin[/name_m] [name_m]Silas[/name_m]) bc we choose it many years before he was born. We did argue a lot about which should be his first name and which should be his middle name, even after he was born. He’s four now, we are pretty sure we got it right at this point, especially since he loves his first name and hates his middle name.
For our second son, we went to the ultrasound and we both said, “oh, look, it’s [name_m]Solomon[/name_m]” as soon as we saw him. It just immediately seemed like his name to both of us. So we weren’t stressed out about it bc we agreed right away. We knew we wanted to give him a middle name after his Uncle [name_m]Vanya[/name_m], so that wasn’t stressful either.
I think if we had been naming girls, it would have been more stressful bc there are just a lot more girls names that we like and I think our taste is more different when it comes to girls names. I really think girls names are harder, there seem to be so many more wonderful ones.
I didn’t feel stressed at all with my daughter b/c I had found tons of names I liked, the only issue was trying to figure out which one was the name. With this one, only picking out the middle name has been stressful b/c [name_m]Emrys[/name_m] is the only boy name I love. Then I come across a name that I like and my SO either turns it down or it doesn’t flow well.
I eventually want to have two more kids in the future(at least five years from now) and I’m sure I’ll definitely be stressed naming them. With so many girl names I love I hate the fact that I won’t be able to use them all. And if I have more boys then I’ll be even more stressed b/c they probably won’t be named until I get to the hospital, and then I’ll worry about how I’m not in love with the name and will regret it, etc. I really envy people that have had names picked out for years that they love. Hopefully by the time I have more kids I’ll find names like that.
Naming my son was extremely easy. My husband and I both loved the names [name_u]Riley[/name_u] and [name_f]Coralie[/name_f] ([name_f]Cora[/name_f]) from the first time we talked about names.
This second child is proving much harder. We are down to 2 girl names and completely torn between the 2. He wants one, I want the other. Boy names seem bland compared to my son’s name, and we don’t [name_u]Love[/name_u] any.
I stressed most about names with my first. By my third there was literally zero stress about it. I think I put a ton of pressure on myself to find The Perfect Name. My standards for perfection have relaxed a lot since then, and it became just about vibe and not a ton of arbitrary naming rules that I placed on myself. I’m not saying that’s what you’re doing, just that I know that was my problem
I didn’t have any stress about naming my girls. I named [name_f]Maeby[/name_f] before I was part of a naming community and had loved the name for a long time and always knew it was my daughter’s name. With Saela, my husband and I chose her name together when I was like 15 weeks pregnant. I had been researching here, and had many favorites, but ultimately it was a decision to be made together.
I felt some stress when I was pregnant, because I am from a culture that names at birth and my boyfriend isn’t and he refused to decide on anything before the birth. I found it frustrating and in my heart I felt like we ‘should’ have it pretty much down before she got here, even if it wasn’t official or anything.
Then she was born and you know what, it didn’t matter at all anymore. She didn’t need a name right away, she was so brand new in the world that ‘baby’ was fine to be going on with, and looking after her and bonding with her was way more important. It still felt important to get a good name for her, but it no longer felt like a task that had to be completed with any degree of urgency. We took three weeks to fix a name, early by Icelandic standards but by then I was totally ready. I felt zero pressure or stress about it. I’m sure this isn’t universal, but to me it felt far easier to name a baby in my arms than a mysterious kicking lump in my womb.
I know it’s not for everyone, but this method is something to consider if you feel like it’s all getting to you. I’m now totally on board with it for our next kid, when we decide to take that step.
For me the stress comes in waves. One moment I look at our list, freaking out about the pressure to find a good name that she has to carry her entire life, that she’ll identify with and that should fit our criteria and her person perfectly. The next I feel like we could be doing a lot worse, that the names we have picked out so far can’t be all that bad to live with, no matter which one we go for, and that it’s impossible to please everyone, so people will just have to deal with her name and get over it if they dislike it.
I especially feel that because we’re one and done, we only get this one chance to pick the right name and we are very specific in what we want the name to be and not be, so the stress to find a name we not only like but actually [name_u]LOVE[/name_u] is definitely there. It is quite a big responsibility to decide something so permanent for someone else. And there’s so many drawbacks and potential pitfalls to consider… Aaaand now I’m stressing myself out again.
But ask me again in another hour and the answer would probably be more along the lines of “meh, as long as we like it and it’s decent, we don’t have to pressure ourselves unnecessarily.” I blame the pregnancy hormones :rolleyes:
ETA: Also, I get this feeling sometimes where I think that all the names on our list are very good. solid choices we really like and could definitely pick a final name from, but then again what if there’s a way better one out there that would be the ONE and we just haven’t found it yet… Is that just me?
The name was one of the last things we got for our kid. A friend of ours gave us a good tip. He always goes into the delivery room with a handful of names that he and his wife would both be satisfied with and then when they meet the little one, they decide which of the names it will be. I definitely agree waiting until you meet the baby can make it easier if you’re not sure already. But most importantly - don’t stress! It will all be fine in the end.
We felt stress because our naming style kept changing, and our family were pushing for “normal” names.
That being said we named the twins after they were born and it just came to us, we decided after them that our other kids would need to match the twins. So are their names different, yes, it stresses us out that people are like whaaaaat? Whenever we introduce them but this day and age we don’t care. Hopefully they understand when they grow up how awesome their names are.
I do the exact thing you do. Everyday there is a new perfect name, and I’m set on naming my kid that name, until I find another name then I’m set on that name. I have five daughters and am expecting two more. With each pregnancy I was so worried that I would not pick the perfect name, and that if I didn’t pick the perfect name that I was going to ruin my daughters life. It was also hard because my partners name style and my name style are completely different. When I got married to my partner I was hoping that she wouldn’t care, and would just let me name our kids. I was also worried about picking a name that my child would like. But then I realized that no matter what I name my kid they are going to hate it. I could spend hours and hours and hours searching for the perfect name, and it could be the most beautiful and lovely name in the world, and they would still hate it.
I had an extreme amount of stress. I think that “name nerds” have a harder time because we are consumed with perfection and a fear of regret. I nearly always second guessed the names I used and even though some of their names have meaning, I don’t love the flow for all of the kids (it was a trade-off). If I had a boy or a girl today I know what I’d name them but with 9 months to obsess, no guarantees
