How to Choose Between Honour Names?

[SimplyMe]

Just a warning this is likely going to be very long, so I appreciate anybody who sticks with me on this.

I am going to be TTC as a single mom in the near soon few months coming. I am also an incredible name nerd and had to jump in feet first to perfecting my top names lists. Over the last little bit I have been working soo hard on perfecting my top names for girls and boys. Both have been difficult in their own ways, but I have really made some incredible progress. I am very happy with everything and never thought I’d be in a position to have struggle choosing between honour names. I have made posts and polls to get general ideas and to see even if one was chosen over the other if I’d prefer that name etc… Nothing seems to have helped much, so here I am for general advice. Since I have seeked out soo much opinion on the honour names in question here, I am going to leave them out of this to get just pure advice.

Being a TTC single mom, I do have the option to gender select. For severe medical/genetic reasons surrounding the male gene in my family, I have decided to gender select a girl for the first pregnancy ~ I am completely undecided if I will/should continue to gender select for the severe genetic reasons for subsequent pregnancies at this time. But, I have decided (for now) my ideal number of children being 3 potentionally 4, but that would depend on circumstances especially since I will be a single mom. I have two very specific honours, but don’t know which should be used first for Baby #1, then obviously, the second would still definitely be used for Baby #2. Having said that, though I have 2 honours, I have 3 names ~ which further complicates things.

Honour Middle Name #1: This one is most self-explanatory. This would be after my sister and we have such a large age gap between us, but we have an incredibly special bond.
If I were to have a boy, I wouldn’t want to use a male version of this name.

Honour Middle Name #2: This name has multiple honours. Firstly, the initial being a ‘F’ honours the very most important and special male in my life ~ his middle initial is ‘F’. And I thought matching middle intials could be cute and special as there isn’t a female version of his ‘F’ middle name. Secondly, the girl ‘F’ name itself is such a strong virtue and something I have had a lot in to beable to concieve.
If I were to have a boy, there isn’t a male version of this name nor would I choose to use the important person’s middle name, just because it is an old family last name in their family that just isn’t my style. I though, if I didn’t use the girl ‘F’ name right away, I would be open to using it possibly in the future even after honouring the important person.

Honour Middle Name #3: This name also has multiple honours. Firstly, again, the initial being ‘K’ honours this time the first name of the same very important male in my life as mentioned above ~ which I feel could be slightly more special or rewarding perhaps? Again, there is no female version of his name, so the entire girl ‘K’ name also honours in other ways. Secondly, the first half of the ‘K’ girl name also has similar sounds/letters to his name, whereas, the second half of the ‘K’ girl name actually has my first initial and similar sounds and letters to my name, so it could honour us both at the same time. Lastly, it also honours German heritage as it starts with “K” and has German roots.
If I were to have a boy, I would use the exact first name of the important person as my baby boy’s middle name ~ I would also still use his name as a middle name despite if I were to have already honoured the important person in my baby girl’s name.

I hope this gave lots of information. Feel free to ask more questions that you may have that I didn’t answer. Just the main question being: how do I decide what to use 1st and what to use 2nd!? This seems sooo difficult. Please help with any advice and/or experience!

Thank you soo much for any help and if you made it this far! I am so sorry this is soo long, but I needed to get all my thoughts out

[tallemaja]

From what I understand, the second honour name is the only one you in no way would like to use on a boy, so it seems like a good choice for your daughter.

That said, to me it makes a lot more sense to just base which name to use on which of the 3 sounds better with the first name you have in mind!

[SimplyMe]

Thank you so much for this reply and taking the time to read!

I have tried out all the names with the first name(s) plus my last name as well and though they all can have a different feel/vibe, I do think they all work and sound gorgeous.

If it helps to provide the names in question I can list the first name(s) and middle names if preferred. I just didn’t want them in the main post to get some advice that wouldn’t be based on the possible opinion of the names.

[namer_gamer]

Without knowing what the names are, I think you should use honor name #1 (your sister’s name) for your first child.

[SimplyMe]

Adding incase it helps to give advice! Thanks to all who have commented thus far.

Summary

The names in question are:

[name_u]Baby[/name_u] #1 First Name: [name_f]Leah[/name_f]
[name_u]Baby[/name_u] #2 First Name: [name_f]Ayla[/name_f]

[name_u]Honour[/name_u] Middle Name #1: [name_f]Emilie[/name_f]
[name_u]Honour[/name_u] Middle Name #2: [name_f]Faith[/name_f]
[name_u]Honour[/name_u] Middle Name #3: Karolina/Karoline

Last name begins with ‘M’ and is 2 syllables ending in ‘n’ sound. And sounds/flows relatively soft and smooth with no harsh sounds or harsh
letter blends.

[tallemaja]

I agree with what you said about all three middles working with both names! That said, [name_f]Leah[/name_f] [name_f]Karolina[/name_f] & [name_f]Ayla[/name_f] [name_f]Faith[/name_f] are my favourites

[Kiriko]

With the very special male in your life, just be very very confident it’s not someone who your feelings about them may change. It feels a bit more iffy than a sister

But if you’re confident of that, my advice would be to name this baby like it’s your only. What will you really regret NOT choosing, the person who never gets honoured or the name you never get to use? It can ruin your perfect future combos for if you do end up having more kids, sure, but another baby is never a guarantee.

I was sure I’d have at least two girls, but we’re done after two kids, a girl and boy. My niece’s birth of her first child went so badly they almost had to take her uterus out, which would have prevented her having more kids ever. My aunt also wanted a big family but was only ever able to have one.

So that’s why I feel like when it comes to real kids… name this one like she’s your only. You’ll find other names you love when you have your second.

Spoiler as mentions names

You could even have two middles, Leah Emilie Faith?
Then if you’re able to have a second, Ayla Karolina … (you’ll find something else you love!)

[hellobanjo]

I would use the names you would use if this happens to be your only child since you can’t know the future

[Elle1]

I conceived as a single mom by choice. No gender selection for my type of TTC (at-home insemination), but I was blessed with a girl.

Once I became pregnant, I was open to the idea of 2 children. But I really wasn’t sure, especially with being single.

I made a really similar post because I had 2 honor names that I wanted to use for her. Some folks on here suggested I use both names, because there isn’t a guarantee that I’ll have more children. Anything could happen. Good or bad.

Well, unless my circumstances take a 180 turn, I am only having my daughter, but I didn’t know that until she was almost a year and a half. However, I gave her both honor names as her middle name. I’m really happy that I did this. Some people do a hyphen between middle names, but I decided to just have a space between them.

I would use your 1st and 3rd name. I’m not sure the relation with the special male. If he’s a friend, don’t use it. Maybe I’m jaded with age

I like [name_f]Leah[/name_f] [name_f]Emilie[/name_f] [name_f]Karolina[/name_f]

[Greyblue]

I’d do:

[name_u]Honour[/name_u] #1 first - it feels the simplest honour, one you’re very sure about, would need to explain least.

[name_u]Honour[/name_u] #2 as a middle name - either for first baby or second. That could double honour the fact it’s an F middle you’re wanting to celebrate. (if you used it for baby 2, the initials would then match?)

[name_u]Honour[/name_u] #3 for baby 2

[kmdharrington]

Does the person you are honoring frequently use his middle initial? Like does he use “Firstname F. Lastname” on documents? If he doesn’t, does sharing the middle initial alone feel like enough of a connection to his name to bother with an honor name here? If the goal is to share a middle initial, I would not do a double middle name here.

[name_u]Honor[/name_u] names after still living people add extra levels of considerations. What are his thoughts – would it be obvious to him as a connection with the F. middle initial? I would recommend asking him if he prefers the K name or the F name? What does your sister think of you potentially using her name as the kid’s middle name? Does she like her name? Would she find it weird? Would she prefer instead helping/choosing between a few different middle name options?

[SimplyMe]

[name_m]Hi[/name_m]! Thank you for the response! These are great questions.

He doesn’t use his middle initial often besides when it’s required for legal documents. To be honest it wouldn’t feel like enough of an honour and was just a last minute idea I had. That said, I think it would feel like a solid honour if I were to tell him Im using it or tell him Im considering it. Then the meaning would be known.
I am pretty hesitant on double middle names and if possible would most like to avoid as I feel the name becomes soo long like a list rather than an identity.

I think I certainly need to talk to the both of them and bring this forward and see what they think/prefer. I was also open to the idea that maybe either of them didnt want an honour of their name, but instead had different middle name ideas. These are great questions!
I do know, for abit my sister did not like her name and always wanted it changed. She never has ended up changing it and I havent heard her mention that in a yr or two. But, honestly I havent asked her and that is definitely something to consider.