Please hit me with your best advice for choosing between two first names! We already have a middle name set, so we can’t solve the dilemma by using both names.
I’ve heard that some parents will call the name out around the house and see which sounds more natural/they like more.
You may not want to mirror this strategy, but my parents were completely stuck between [name_f]Rachel[/name_f] and [name_f]Sophie[/name_f] for my older sister. They ended up asking their health visitor which she liked better; she took one glance at the baby and said ‘that child’s name is Sophie’. And thus it was. More an anecdote than a tip, but do with it what you will!
- Wait and see if one ‘fits better’ when baby arrives
- Try saying both to the baby - which feels more natural with this child?
- Ask a trusted friend, family, acquaintance etc. which they like best
- Put them in a random name selector and let that do it for you (I would probably end up doing this tbh)
- Write up the pros and cons of both
- [name_f]Imagine[/name_f] calling baby Name A - calling it out across playgrounds, introducing them by the name to someone, writing it in birthday cards when they’re 1, 2, 6, 10, 13, 16, 18 and so on. [name_m]Can[/name_m] you picture using it like that? Any regrets on not picking Name B? (you could then repeat this imagining with the names reversed)
- Does one name look better when written out? Is one more popular than the other and how do you feel about that? Is one more likely to be pronounced right? Does one have better nickname options?
@cms1512 I literally did this for all my kids! Call it out across the house for praise and consequences lol
If you love both names equally, do a quick Google search of the names (first and last, first middle last, initials!) And see if something pops up you hadn’t thought of. Sometimes a celebrity association or initials with some definition on urban dictionary can break the tie.
All else fails, keep both in your pocket until you meet baby. Usually one will feel right.
[name_u]Flip[/name_u] a coin and see if you are secretly hoping it will land one way or the other.
i’d ask myself if there was one of them i’d be absolutely gutted about not using, for example, if i was between mabel and luella, i’d imagine if a close friend used one - maybe mabel didn’t make me that upset, but thinking luella was used did! i’d realize then i loved luella more!
hopefully this makes sense
I agree to wait until the baby arrives. Take the options with you to the delivery, you will be able to decide.
When it comes to choosing a name I think it helps to be guided by feelings rather than arguments or chance. It may help to focus on one name over a set period of time so each name gets your full attention and you have the opportunity to notice your distinct feelings over time. It can be an exercise you and your husband do together.
For a full week, fortnight or month (however long you think you need), think of your baby as that name in your mind as if the decision has already been made. Connect with your baby as you normally would whilst thinking of them as that name. Refer to your baby by that name when you and your husband talk to each other about your baby. Journal any thoughts or feelings you notice. Repeat the exercise with the other name and then compare your notes and feelings of attachment to each name at the end of the exercise. See if your feelings are stronger towards one name or if one name seems to fit better.
Some other ideas. If you’ve listed the advantages and disadvantages for each name you could consider which of your criteria is most important. You could rank and score the criteria. Which name has the most important or meaningful advantages? Consider the name story you would share with your child. Which do you prefer? If you are planning on more children and hypothetically you knew you would have another son, which name you would prefer to use first?
It recently occurred to me that the process of choosing a name happens alongside the process of getting to know your baby and that the two might be related. It wasn’t until late in the third trimester when one name started to feel right for me so it seems fitting in my case. I wish you all the best in your decision making.
I suggest waiting 'til the baby arrives to choose! We had 3 top names for ds and 2 top names for dd that we went to the hospital with. After spending a few hours with the new baby (and taking a few hours to recover, lol), we decided on a name. With ds, we both felt like there was a clear name choice of the 3 names for him after we met him. With dd, it felt like either name would suit her well, and dh let me choose the name I liked a little bit more.
I also like the advice to say it out-loud many times. Maybe also ask a young child you know (age 2-4) to say the names for you so you can hear what they might sound like coming from a little kid.
The advice to write out both names is also helpful. I had no idea how much I would be writing out my kids names to label all their stuff for daycare and preschool. In hindsight, I am glad we chose names that are easy to write and look good in writing.
Thank you all so much, so far! Some new ideas here.
Something fun that happened just yesterday was that, after talking to our kids (5, 4 and 2) about the names, we ended up with some new toys from a moving sale. Our boys gave two of their new Duplo (jumbo LEGO) boys the two names we’ve been talking about It’s great to hear all three kids saying the names in conversation.
I’m sure this has already been said, but I’ve always loved the idea of naming each baby as though it’s your last. Is there one name of the two that, if you never have another son, your heart says that This Name has to be a part of your family? Does one of the names make your sibset feel complete more than the other?